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 Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:06 pm
Cox: OK, I made your breakfast, the kitchen's as clean as a whistle, I'm gonna drop Jack off at Day Care on my way to work. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Jordan: I need you to go to the video store and get me anything with Vigo "Something"-son, I need white chocolate, strawberry seltzer, peppercorn bri, and a polaroid of the tomato plant that I planted last Spring because I'm worried it may have snails. Oh! And if you see that neighbor Leena from down the hall, I want you to roll your eyes and say the word "Slut", under your breath but loud enough so she can hear. And don't forget to be home by 6:30 because you gotta give Jack his bath before you make my dinner!
And here comes the kicker that had me laughing all day...
Cox: But...when will I have time to kill myself?
Kelso: Where's the disinfectant, "Lurch"? I spilled soda on my desk this morning and now it's all sticky.
Janitor: Well, I'm all out...Here. Use this.
Kelso: ...You want me to clean soda with soda?
Janitor: Are you questioning the way I do my job? Did I question YOU when you did an iliac bone marrow autopsy and failed to immastitize the pariosty adequately? (might need correcting. I'm no doctor)
Kelso:...No...No, you didn't...
This one really got to me.
Laverne: Look. If that's the way you choose to see the world, than so be it. But don't you dare try to take this away from me. I've been coming in here every day for 24 years watching children die and seeing good people suffer. And if I quit believing that there was a bigger plan behind all this, well, I just wouldn't be able to show up tomorrow, so just stop it!
Cox: ...I'm sorry...
Laverne: ...It's okay. You'd be surprised how many bad things happen around here for a reason.
Cox: ...I wish I could believe that.
Laverne: ...It was awful that Jordan had to have prenatal surgery, but how have you two been since then?
Cox: ...Better than ever.
Laverne: Good night!
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:51 pm
William C. Wonka Oh! And if you see that neighbor Leena from down the hall, I want you to roll your eyes and say the word "Slut", under your breath but loud enough so she can hear. XD I say do that whenever I pass this girl from my school in the hall. It burns her, because it's true. I have another one... "So, even though Dr. Mikhead delivered the baby, I rang in the New Year with grandma!!.....we had sex! That's how I roll..." ~JD "No, this isn't bald, black doctor. This is haired, half Inuit, half white Janitor." ~The Janitor And last........ Carla: See nobody's poisoned your...*drops* Janitor: That's it...she's really gone. Someone's going to have to tell bald doctor...I do not want that job... Carla: *pops up* RAWWR! Janitor: GAAAH! Zombie!
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:27 pm
"Top of the morning doctor Walter Mickhead! Snoop Dog resident when we hitting the clubs yo! Oh Kernel Doctor that tie looks finger lickin' good!"
"Wow, so natural. Did you act college?"
"I did, thank you."
"I can tell."
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 11:13 pm
Sara~R "So, even though Dr. Mikhead delivered the baby, I rang in the New Year with grandma!!.....we had sex! That's how I roll..." ~JD Actually, I'm sure he says, "That's how I do it..." Incidentally, that's one of my most favorites moments in Scrubs. Only Zach Braff can pull off the arm-flailing and the "That's how I do it..." It's... just too awesome.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:12 pm
William C. Wonka Sara~R "So, even though Dr. Mikhead delivered the baby, I rang in the New Year with grandma!!.....we had sex! That's how I roll..." ~JD Actually, I'm sure he says, "That's how I do it..." Incidentally, that's one of my most favorites moments in Scrubs. Only Zach Braff can pull off the arm-flailing and the "That's how I do it..." It's... just too awesome. Oh yeah. That's probably my faveorite eppisode. It's not the funnitest of them all, but it made me smile. "Miracle five!" ~The Todd
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:24 pm
"And yet you come home and tell me that your thoughtful token of love wasn't a token of love at all. It was an a** pen!"
lmao. I find that hilarious.
"Oh hello Mr. Gallblader, don't you get to comfy next to Mr. Liver because here comes Dr. Turk's robot laser."
I've been saying that over and over for the past 5 days
"Whose hair smells like lilacs?"
"Hers. and his."
"That's very pretty. And deeply disturbing."
"The jar said unisex!"
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 5:01 pm
Elliot: Janitor, have you ever wanted to change every thing about you?
Janitor: No...I'm a winner.
JD: Doctor Moyer, can we just-
Moyer: THESE ARE MY MACHINES!
Carla: Sir-
Moyer: MY MACHINES THEY'RE MY-MY-MY MACHINES! MY MACHINES!
Turk: Whoes Machines?
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:17 pm
Okay JD you're a little drunk and you know what happens when you get drunk, you get handies. Now control yourself.
"It's tough making friends in Milawkee"
-JD starts groping himself-
I said control yourself!
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 6:41 am
J.D: Bye, trumpet player I don't know. Now I know why your music is so sad...
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 7:10 pm
This is my personal fav ever!!!
DR COX: Listen up Hedrick, we don't need any of your head shrinking.
J.D. NARRATION: We, he called us we...after all these years he's finally made us a team.
J.D.: Yeah, Hedrick. If it was up to us, we would have never even called you. We can handle death just fine. We might even be going into private practice together.
DR COX: What?!
J.D. NARRATION: Easy, now is not the time to discuss the DorianCox clintic. Much less the relocation to Jacksonville.
DR HEDRICK: I feel as if I'm pushing some buttons here.
DR COX: You couldn't push my buttons if you tried. In fact, I have no buttons. Please think of me as button-less. All smooth like GI Joe's nether regions. And by the by, this image is brought to you by my son, Jack, Who has been yanking the pants off of his toy soliders and leaving them in procative positions on my nightstand. It is just disturbing enough, that leaving the house, I'm cranky and less able to suffer fools. Which brings me back to you, the fool. No go, go before you can write a book, entitled: Help, A Large Doctor Is Beating My a**, colon, The Lester Hedrick Story.
DR HEDRICK: Wow, that was a mouthful. Well, call me if you need anything.
J.D.: He seems strangely impervious to my threats. That annoys me.
I know that it's not exact, but you get the idea. That's from: My Five Stages
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 7:16 pm
One more, this is from His Story IV
JANITOR: Typical Dorian, running away from an argument that he knows nothing about.
J.D.: I know all about the war.
[Janitor pulls out a globe]
JANITOR: Point to Iraq.
J.D.: Why do you keep a globe in your Janitor's cart?
JANITOR: In case I get lost. Now go ahead. I'll give you a hint. It's not the country shaped like a boot.
J.D.: That's Iraq.
JANITOR: That's China.
J.D.: You're China!!!
JANITOR: That's an outragous accusation.
I laughed sooo hard that I spit out my drink I had when I first saw that. rofl
Oh and, this is from Her Story:
J.D.: (singing) I'm feeling so good today!
[Trips, gets up and looks around]
J.D.: I still feel good cuz nobody saw me fall! rofl
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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 11:39 am
Carla: You know what your problem is?
Cox: There are times when I-
Carla: Oh my GOD, who answers that question?!
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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 3:23 pm
J.D. NARRATION: Say something, anything!
J.D.: Banana Hammock!!
I know this has already been said but I can't resist:
JD: Doctor Moyer, can we just-
Moyer: THESE ARE MY MACHINES!
Carla: Sir-
Moyer: MY MACHINES THEY'RE MY-MY-MY MACHINES! MY MACHINES!
Turk: Whose Machines?
Moyer: MY MACHINES!!
J.D.: How is that helpful?
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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 7:08 pm
Cox: Carla? I apologize. I am a horses a**.
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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 9:51 pm
J.D just kills me with his idea of DR. Acula!!! twisted
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