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Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends 

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Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:54 pm


31. Flowers

Flowers
are overrated.

They
just happen to be
luckier
than the rest of us.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:56 pm


32. Night

Potential
fills the air
but effort
is lost

somewhere among the masses.

(Crowds
cause shortness
of breath

intimacy
and connections.)

A shallow
lake
still has depth.

(A diagram of the human race.)

And spotlights
on the road
make the cracks
visible.

The sky implodes
and the dust
shines

sparkles

like a moon
that cannot sleep
due to its own light.

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:57 pm


33. Expectations

A failed man has no worries;
he has already faced his disappointment.

It’s the ones who are waiting
for their crash landing
we need to worry about.

_______________________
Author's Comments


“You see it, Igby? I feel this great, great pressure coming down on me. It's constantly coming down on me. It's crushing me.” - From the movie “Igby Goes Down”
PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:58 pm


34. Stars

Stars
shine
brighter on Sundays.

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:59 pm


35. Hold My Hand

The ice is thin
but our hearts are thick.

(Winter
arrived somewhere
along the last exit.)

Animals are in hiding
but we
are free to roam

as long as my heart is in your hands.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:00 pm


36. Precious Treasure

What if it breaks?

.

Lily made us stop. She said we were in too deep; we would soon be buried in the snow. I didn’t see that as a bad thing. The snow was so clean, so perfect. It sparkled due to the fairies hiding underneath. I wanted to sink in; but more importantly, I wanted to be clean. I think Lily is scared of things bigger than herself, bigger than us.

She hides from me in little ways. While in the diner, she hid behind the menu, pretending she was looking for something to order. I should mention she orders the same thing at every stop. Lily’s also afraid of change.

I remember that day in the hospital. She refused to be a prisoner. Lily was free in the most simple terms; she let everyone know who she was and why you could never change that. She was wrong though. That night in the alleyway changed her. She’s not the same person anymore. Which is ... understandable.

She tried so very hard to be the strong one. And in her blind efforts she failed to see the knot coming undone. She collapsed because she forgot about the safety net that’s standing beside her begging to be opened.

Lily, I’m your safety net and it’s not too late.

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:01 pm


37. Eyes

They can
break your heart
or
set you free.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:03 pm


38. Abandoned

Your
paranoiac faith
left you
screaming
at the alter.

____________________
Author's Comments


“She kept your will from caving,
but left you paranoid.”

- Our Lady Peace “Potato Girl”

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:04 pm


39. Dreams

In airports
dead squirrels
left a map.

The dragonfly
flew so fast
it caused a tornado.

As owls
watched
from the window.

She had time
but her flight
was cancelled.

A man sat
and told her
about Ghana.

She could hear
the elephants running
from bad luck.

And as thunder
echoed
she lost her voice.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:06 pm


40. Rated

Lily used to eat well,
until she got freezer burn.

Her takeout soup
has started to grow mold.

She laughs at her aching bones,
and says they’re just for show.

She’s right;
I don’t appreciate her beauty.

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:07 pm


41. Teamwork

(We’re in this together.
And have been since day one.)

Don’t think
for one moment
you can lose me.

With steady hearts
we’ll find our way
back home.

Just right now,
our nerves
have left us agitated.

I think it’s time to buy a map.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:08 pm


42. Standing Still

I’m working on
not moving so fast.

My life
was a subway;

(things sped by,
I never had time to see the details)

everything was a blur.

I spent too long
drinking coffee;
trying to stay awake
and ahead of everyone else.

And yet once again, I got lost in an opposing crowd.

(They tell me it’s important to keep moving,
as long as I’m going in their direction.)

Eshana, put the car in park;
we’re not going anywhere.

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:09 pm


43. Dying

If you stay put
for too long,
everything withers.

Colours aren’t as bright,
the sky sinks,
and you lose your breathing room.

Rehearsed
thoughts
turn into allolalia.

Hearts become thin ice;
they break,
but you’re too cold to notice.

Skin
goes pale
from the loss of touch.

Eyes
close over;
there’s nothing left to say.

Everything becomes
a mesh
of dying matter.

__________________
Author's Comments


allolalia: speech disorder featuring randomly spoken words.
----
"I'm not waiting for the answers
On a Sunday afternoon
I'm just too drunk to remember
Why I always slip through
The drugs and fake ambition
Have been helping me to hide
But it's the endless television
That has kept me inside
Where does it stop?
Where does it end?
Where do we go?
Why am I always complaining?
I can be good
I can be bad
I can be loved
But everything's gone black"

- Our Lady Peace "Everyone's A Junkie"
PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:11 pm


44. Two Roads

The taxidermy made my stomach twist
and toast no longer seemed appetizing;
but the tea would do.

Across the table a terrible mess
had erupted from a spilt glass.
My toes cringed at the sight of another spoiled breakfast.

Outside,
through a truck window,
I watched a tiger’s tale unfold.

The trollop moved her arms and legs
in a way that titillated
a usually timid man.

His time ran out and ten dollars was exchanged.
High heels hit the ground as she stepped out
of the dirty truck and made her way back inside.

She walked with a purpose
as if trying to teach us all something.
Stopping at my table she said, “ready to go?”

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:12 pm


45. Illusion

The feeling of falling
was so pure
I was convinced it was real.

Empty air
echoed in my throat
as my vocal chords disappeared.

My heart pounded
just like my body would
when I hit the ground.

I tried
to open my eyes
but it appears they were never closed.

_____________________
Author's Comments


"It was just a dream" she said.
"Of course it was; life's a dream."
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