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As young as he is, it won't be too hard for him to get over it. Studies have shown that long term memory is only vaguely developed under age three. It's after that that you have to worry a bit more.

GGG,

thursday was my grandfather's birthday. we went to see him in the nursing home yesterday. not only did i make most of a three and a half hour drive, but my grandfather spoke to me.

i guess i should give some background on that. my grandpa is now 74 years old. he was born in southern mexico. when he was 13, his dad was killed in a dispute over livestock. since his mother was pregnant, he decided to come to the u.s. to find work. he walked up to texas (my dad doesn't know where exactly he was born, only that it was pretty far south) and got a job. his name, which was perez, was changed to his father's name, palacios (parents weren't married, in mexico, illegitimate children are given their mothers' names). he worked in fields his whole life until a few years ago when he had several strokes. his good friend found him at home, he had fallen down. luckily, he wasn't too badly hurt. he also has diabetes, and since he hadn't been able to get around, he hadn't gotten his medicine. he was in the hospital for a few weeks, and when he was well enough, my dad found a nursing home for him and has been caring for his affairs ever since.

in his old age, my grandfather has become obstinate. though my grandma (who filed for divorce when my dad was a kid) swears he speaks english very well, he refuses to speak it. he will answer in spanish once in a while, but for the most part, since i don't speak spanish, he never speaks to me.

i named my son after him. since immigration changed his name, all his children are palacios, not perez. over the years, he has legally changed it back to perez, but he has no one to carry on the name. when i found out i was having a baby, i hoped he would be a boy so i could let my grandpa know his name would live on before he died. i named my son sergio perez palacios, after him. my dad tells him everytime we visit, but if he cares he doesn't show it.

anyway, for him to have answered me yesterday, and even a few words in english, meant a lot to me. all he said was, "...mal, i'm getting blind." but i think that's the most he's ever said to me.

Dear GGG Journal.

Well life in the Bischoff Clan has sertainly had some doozys this month.
My Brother-in-law, the Oldest Son, had his wife leave him.
apparently he has had a girlfriend on the side, and the wife found out about it.
He then announced to the family he no longer belives in God.
And now my Mother-in-law and father-in-law are acting as if he has died.
It's rather de-pressing. esspecially when my mother-in-Law leans over my
shoulder and says "he could have had all this." when the family gets together
and are havieng a good time. So then I said. "Well invite him over, and he can
enjoy it with us." and then she just sighs and acts like I didn't hear her.
I mean come on it's not the end of the world.
So he decided he doesn't belive in God, yes in the family that is a very huge thing.
But it's his decision and we should still love him just the same as if he did belive.
And so He was a real dumn @#@ and cheated on his wife. But that really
has nothing to do with the rest of the family. as far as I'm concerned.
I'm a sister-in-law and should never have heard about it.
All I should have been told was, well His wife left him, end of story.
but no, my in-laws have to act like he has died, and then they have
to broadcast it to the entire family. Heck even my sister-in-law who lives in
maryland called me and wanted to know why our mother-in-law had to call her
and explain the entire situation to her. and she, like me, is married into this family.
GGGRRR
Just a bit of a ranting and ravieng on my part.
stare

Dear GGG Journal

I have been severly slacking on the whole journal thing, maybe it's cause I just don't have the modication anymore. Even my time online with Gaia has had some serious jet lag. i almost feel like I have hit rock bottom!!! I feel depressed and lonely and there is nothing that really helps. I can put on anice cherade (sp?) for my friends and family but my heart seems to be squeexing its way into a little corner of my stomach and hiding! I feel almost like life is not worth the troubles that are in it, but I look at Michael and see nothing but love so gladdly I cannot act upon the impuses I feel.

I have been spending time with a lady named Audrey recently. She is a nice lady but I feel really uncomfortable around her. She has two daughters Jamie (1 Year like mikes) and Jennifer (4 years).... Jennifer is a sweet kid but she NEVER stops talking I feel almost like I have to just stand still and listen ALL DAY, but I understand why she does this too, her mom does nothing but tell her to "SHUT UP" all of the time, she is just never really acknowledged. And for that I feel truly saddened. And then there is Jamie, who is the obvious favorite of the mother, who won't even let Michael touch her. I can't imagine having a kid that didn't want to be touched by other kids, I think that would make me really upset... She is SOOO spoiled. I babysit both of them and Jamie will cry at the first sign that I might show Mikes or Jennifer any kind of attention. but yet again I understand her problem too. SHe has learned from big sister that if you do not cry big sister will steal your toys. That is EXACTLY what both of them do to Mikes... I will have all three on Saturday, I am definately not looking forward to it. Between the talking and the crying I won't get a moments peice, garunteed!!! icon_cry.gif icon_cry.gif icon_cry.gif And I will have them until at least from 2:00PM to midnight.

My yearnings for another baby are getting stronger, it is almost like my body craves the life force!!! Maybe I've finally lost it, it surely wouldn't surprise me in anyway. I feel so lonely maybe my body is craving that life force that is always there when you are pregnant. I don't want to be alone anymore. But I have totally lost my trust in men (and women too)...

Anyway I am too mentally and physically drained to continue so I will wonder off to bed
good night and good bye
Brittany

Dear GGG Journal,
I feel a little better now. But not by much. I hate men the more I see them the more I hate 'em...

I haven't been posting much in my journal...I don't want Flipsyperson to be upset but I did it because of how depressed I have been, I keep a paper journal that has most of my entries from the days I don't post on the Gaia journal! I guess that Flipsy has been worried about me. Sorry Filpsy... I still love you, I just have been in no mood for gaia. I am trying to get out of this miserable depression but nothing seems to work!

Brittany

GGG,

i finally got my avvie in order! i love her now, the hair was a task, and i think i need to replace the veil, but i can't yet because gaia is being stupid. too many changes all at once, i think. the legs are too bare, but i can't think what i need to fix it!

my dad and brothers left for camping yesterday after the launch. it's so nice and quiet, but i know it's gonna start sucking in about a week.

maybe not, though. i can finally get my license this week, and my sister or her husband is going to bring my car and take me to get the test. then i'll be driving her/him home, and i'm thinking of staying with my son's dad a few days. we haven't seen him in over a month, and they're really missing each other, not to mention my son totally adores dad's brother in law and his son. there's also his grandparents there (dad lives with his parents). it'll be nice, and will give us a break from the monotony, just in time for papi to get back.

yay for things going well!

GGG,

tomorrow my sister is coming to pick me up. i am going to get my car (!) fixed in the city and then get my license (hopefully). has anyone in the states gotten her license recently? i don't know if i need my permit or not. does anyone know what they will ask for?

i also offered to let chuy's dad come pick him up for a while when i am there, but it doesn't seem like he wants to. my mom was saying that i don't even trust him to be alone with chuy, because inever have. it's not that i don't trust r., just that chuy is so upset sometimes and he didn't really know them all that well, after all, he hadn't seen them since he was five months old until this summer. that is a long time for a baby. he knows them well enough now, though, and i think he would be all right with that part of his family.

really exciting news: my ex has offered to buy a ticket home for my birthday! my sister says if he will pay for me, she will pay for chuy and i will gt to spend my 21st bday at home (CA) with all my friends! i am super excited about that. i hate oklahoma, and miss everyone back home so effing much! i was totally bummed when i realized i had moved back here just in time to spend my 21st bday with like the 3 friends i made in high school, who are all homebodies and would probably not do anything but go to the same bar they always go to (where i will not be carded as long as i am with spud) and shoot pool. not how i want to spend it. i want to have my first legal sip of alcohol surrounded by cheering people, maybe a lot of them who i don't know, and run around and have fun nd not be able to hear myself think. i want to go bar hopping and be asked for i.d. 15 times in one night.

i'm babbling. the best thing about it is i will be able to see my high school sweetheart. he totally blew me away today, he sent me a jack johnson song called Do You Remember that he said reminded him of me. he can be so sweet sometimes, it always makes me miss him so much! plus he sent me the pictures form halloween my sophomore year when he dressed as a (quite unfashionable) woman. he had this huge fluffy, blond wig, and he couldn't fit into the heels so he wore slip on sandals with the ultra light pantyhose he borrowed from his mom (that i had to put on him so he wouldn't ruin them) and then i did his makeup. it was so gross, one could see all his leg hair through the hose it was mashed under, and he borrowed my bra, stuffed it with socks, and put his mom's old purse over his shoulder. his neighbors were whistling at him as we went out to trick or treat.

man, i miss that guy! we're totally in love. i hope we get married.

Dear GGG journal

I dont get nearly enough time to myslf. and bless my husband he does try , but his attempts generlly just cause me more stress. I am not cut out to run a househould and cook and clean and care for sean. It's driving me nuts. although i finally have a routine down. which makes me more depressed, where did all the flavour in life go. The best bits of teh day is seeing all the new things my little boy is learning. and yet i wish he'd stopbecause at 8 months he is just about to beginwalking. im sure of it he is shwoing the signs and then i think i will never do anything. And of course ill have to stop now because he is fussing smile