Welcome to Gaia! ::

Thats interesting.. I am actually having problems with my identity for a few reasons.. I'm bi, and I know religion teaches its wrong to like men, but for some reason, I just do. I cant explain it, I dont feel it was a choice. In my experience being bi and being jewish, and being republican, is an oddity soo I'm not too open about it in person. I'm always being told that homosexuality is wrong.. Mind you I go to an orthodox synagogue.. And, its like.. I've never been religious enough for the people in my community. I've always felt shunned, or treated as the red headed step child of the community which is sad because I go to the same synagogue as them, used to go to the same schools, same camps, yet when my family invites them over for some coffee and cake, they say they cant because we're not religious enough.. When we uphold the same kosher laws as they do. To me... it feels like snobbery.. and it hurts me..

But this is deffinantly an eye opener for me.. given my orientation and all.. It doesnt really help my identity crisis much..

I mean no disrespect, but I just dont think they have room to fling their snobbery around when they only pretend to keep the shabbat. I was just a bit that they would rather watch star trek on shabbat instead of coming over to have some coffee and cake... :/

I follow the same rules and values they follow, as I am apart of the community.

They don't know my sexual preferences.. Bringing my sexuality into this isn't necessary. I know what the chumash teaches as far as that goes, and I know I'm not following it. Sorry, I've tried to change myself to adapt to it. However, for reasons beyond my knowledge, I can't. If it makes you feel any better I haven't been in bed with anyone other than myself. Otherwise, aside from you pointing out I'm wrong as so many in the past have done. It's completely irrelevant as maybe I should have clarified, I follow all the same kosher laws.

But the bottom line is. My kitchen, my food, my house, my succot all follow the same kosher laws they follow. I wasn't asking them to come over for sex (that would be really quite gross actually.), I was asking them to come over for some cake and coffee, as I had gone over there for cake and coffee many times before. At first the accepted. Then they called again to say they cant because the grandmother could've do the walk. Then they called a third time to say they lied and they just think that our house wouldn't be kosher enough because it doesn't look as nice as theirs does. They were judging how religious I am, based on how my house compared to other houses.

Although, offended. I just said thats fine and accepted the rejection.

I don't justify what they do for my actions. What I do is on my shoulders, my burden to bear.

Their problem is that they were making assumptions on how strongly I believe in the faith based on the house I lived in. Then they thought they shouldn't come because they didn't think I was religious enough to care about the kosher laws..

In my opinion, I loved my house. It had nice hard wood floors, it was very charming. I moved out of that house like a year ago. I liked my old house better than their house. Thats just me though.

People in person don't know my orientation, because I can't come out yet. But when it become a topic of the conversation its said that its wrong all the time. Plus I've read it online and even you just told me. ^_^_^

Usually since I dont go to a yisheva anymore, if I have questions and wanna learn something, I pay a visit to Aish.com. Very good website. ^_^_^

still... hold... same... kosher laws!