Nikolita
Ok so some of the more major issues...
Birth Control
Use proper birth control, ie something besides just a condom. If you can't afford proper birth control or don't have access to it, you might want to rethink having sex. The Pill works well, or there's the patch, etc. As long as you're having sex you run the risk of becoming pregnant, but doubling up on your birth control will help reduce that chance. It's possible to become pregnant while being on the Pill and still using a condom, but doubling or tripling up your birth control will help ease that risk.
If you're insistent on having sex, then definitely use a condom, because it's better than unprotected sex. Condoms can and will break, but again, it's better than nothing at all.
Sex Information
Who: See a school nurse or a counsellor. For those in college/post secondary education, check with a campus nurse or a health office, etc. Ask an adult, a teacher, a parent, someone who would know. Doctors are a good source of information too.
Where: Health office, school counsellors, books, the internet, parents/trusted adults. Doctor's office too of course.
Pain and Bleeding
Many people talk about experiencing a lot of pain, and sometimes some bleeding the first time they have sex.
Pain: The more nervous and anxious you are, the more your body (v****a) will tense up, and the harder it will be for him to penetrate you, even with his fingers. So you can try foreplay and oral sex beforehand if you want, to get you aroused and lubricated. Lubrication would work if you're a bit tight, so you can use saliva, your body's own natural lubrication, or stuff bought from the store. KY Liquid and Astroglide apparently work well.
Note: If you use a store-bought lubrication, make sure it's water-based. Oil-based lubricants will break down the chemical structure of a condom, causing it to break and tear, which will render it useless against STD's and preventing pregnancy.
Bleeding: You might bleed during your first time, depending on whether or not your hymen has already been broken. Apparently you can break it from things like horseback riding and gymnastics, and of course from using tampons, so if you've already torn it, then you might bleed less, or not at all.
STD Testing
If you're with someone who's had a sexual partner before, or even a boyfriend or girlfriend, you might want to consider asking them to get tested for STD's. Sometimes they might have an STD without knowing it, or some type of bacteria, and you don't want to pick it up from someone else. Or if a mother has an STD, like chlymadia for instance, they can pass it on to their babies at birth. So sometimes it's just a good idea to bite the bullet and go get tested.
Have "The Talk" With Your Partner Before Having Sex
Many people don't do this, because they think that talking about this subject is "too intimate". Yet when you come to think about it, sex is one of the most intimate acts you could do with a partner, so why skip over it because you're embarrassed? If you're too embarrassed to talk to your partner about it, then you're not ready for sex.
Anyways, my point here is if you're going to have sex, you need to talk to your partner beforehand about what you two will do if you end up pregnant. Discuss abortion, adoption, keeping the child in such a situation, and why you are for your choice. Discuss the pros and cons of each option, and make sure you are open to each other. It hopefully won't happen to those who aren't ready for a pregnancy, but it's always good to be prepared just in case it does happen.
Communication Between Partners
This is a must. Keep an open mind and talk to each other. If you want to try something, bring it up with the other person. Have a favourite position? Suggest it to your partner. If something hurts or if you're not getting pleasure from something, tell your partner so you don't give them the wrong impression. Discuss things that bother you, or that you really enjoy. Give compliments to your partner, especially when they do something you like, so they can do it again to you in the future. Just basically talk to each other, and don't hide things.
Make It Special
For many people losing their virginity is a special thing. So why not make the occasion special? Be as romantic or as sentimental as you want. Pick a place where you'll be as undisturbed as possible. Have any supplies you might need with you. Use candles, dim the lights, play music, etc. Wear lingerie or special clothing. The list goes on, just make sure you enjoy it as much as you can! blaugh
Also note: Because it's your first time, even if you do your best to make it romantic and special, chances are you won't come, or it might be too painful, or a little uncomfortable, etc.
Nopenname had this to say about first time sex:
"I'd also like to say don't be surprised if it is short, uncomfortable, unpleasant and sorta anticlimactic (no pun intended). EVEN if you try to make it romantic and talk and hold eachother etc. It can still just be a fizzle the first time. Especially if it is the first time for both of you."
Birth Control
Use proper birth control, ie something besides just a condom. If you can't afford proper birth control or don't have access to it, you might want to rethink having sex. The Pill works well, or there's the patch, etc. As long as you're having sex you run the risk of becoming pregnant, but doubling up on your birth control will help reduce that chance. It's possible to become pregnant while being on the Pill and still using a condom, but doubling or tripling up your birth control will help ease that risk.
If you're insistent on having sex, then definitely use a condom, because it's better than unprotected sex. Condoms can and will break, but again, it's better than nothing at all.
Sex Information
Who: See a school nurse or a counsellor. For those in college/post secondary education, check with a campus nurse or a health office, etc. Ask an adult, a teacher, a parent, someone who would know. Doctors are a good source of information too.
Where: Health office, school counsellors, books, the internet, parents/trusted adults. Doctor's office too of course.
Pain and Bleeding
Many people talk about experiencing a lot of pain, and sometimes some bleeding the first time they have sex.
Pain: The more nervous and anxious you are, the more your body (v****a) will tense up, and the harder it will be for him to penetrate you, even with his fingers. So you can try foreplay and oral sex beforehand if you want, to get you aroused and lubricated. Lubrication would work if you're a bit tight, so you can use saliva, your body's own natural lubrication, or stuff bought from the store. KY Liquid and Astroglide apparently work well.
Note: If you use a store-bought lubrication, make sure it's water-based. Oil-based lubricants will break down the chemical structure of a condom, causing it to break and tear, which will render it useless against STD's and preventing pregnancy.
Bleeding: You might bleed during your first time, depending on whether or not your hymen has already been broken. Apparently you can break it from things like horseback riding and gymnastics, and of course from using tampons, so if you've already torn it, then you might bleed less, or not at all.
STD Testing
If you're with someone who's had a sexual partner before, or even a boyfriend or girlfriend, you might want to consider asking them to get tested for STD's. Sometimes they might have an STD without knowing it, or some type of bacteria, and you don't want to pick it up from someone else. Or if a mother has an STD, like chlymadia for instance, they can pass it on to their babies at birth. So sometimes it's just a good idea to bite the bullet and go get tested.
Have "The Talk" With Your Partner Before Having Sex
Many people don't do this, because they think that talking about this subject is "too intimate". Yet when you come to think about it, sex is one of the most intimate acts you could do with a partner, so why skip over it because you're embarrassed? If you're too embarrassed to talk to your partner about it, then you're not ready for sex.
Anyways, my point here is if you're going to have sex, you need to talk to your partner beforehand about what you two will do if you end up pregnant. Discuss abortion, adoption, keeping the child in such a situation, and why you are for your choice. Discuss the pros and cons of each option, and make sure you are open to each other. It hopefully won't happen to those who aren't ready for a pregnancy, but it's always good to be prepared just in case it does happen.
Communication Between Partners
This is a must. Keep an open mind and talk to each other. If you want to try something, bring it up with the other person. Have a favourite position? Suggest it to your partner. If something hurts or if you're not getting pleasure from something, tell your partner so you don't give them the wrong impression. Discuss things that bother you, or that you really enjoy. Give compliments to your partner, especially when they do something you like, so they can do it again to you in the future. Just basically talk to each other, and don't hide things.
Make It Special
For many people losing their virginity is a special thing. So why not make the occasion special? Be as romantic or as sentimental as you want. Pick a place where you'll be as undisturbed as possible. Have any supplies you might need with you. Use candles, dim the lights, play music, etc. Wear lingerie or special clothing. The list goes on, just make sure you enjoy it as much as you can! blaugh
Also note: Because it's your first time, even if you do your best to make it romantic and special, chances are you won't come, or it might be too painful, or a little uncomfortable, etc.
Nopenname had this to say about first time sex:
"I'd also like to say don't be surprised if it is short, uncomfortable, unpleasant and sorta anticlimactic (no pun intended). EVEN if you try to make it romantic and talk and hold eachother etc. It can still just be a fizzle the first time. Especially if it is the first time for both of you."
thanks, this is pretty much the best information i needed to know
