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 Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 10:03 pm
Sweet Music Wa-Win My angle on the whole teenage dating thing is that when you are young and in high school, it is hard not to fight the temtation of having a boyfriend. That is not the bad temtation though, if you ask me. The BAD temtation would be to have pre-marital Sex. That is a huge pressure when you are a teenager. I am all against pre-marital sex. But dating is a part of the high school experience. If you dont date in high school, whats saying that when you date after high school that you wont get taken advantage of cause you dont know what guys you are looking for? It is good to go into the dating field because you need to know what kind of guy/gal you want to spend your life with. Many people find their soul mates in high school. Some in college, and some after college, but the high school dating experience is just a warm up for what is to come in the real dating world. God doesnt want us to have sex before marriage. Dating is not sex. There is nothing wrong with it in my opinion. I agree. I'm fine with it until the point where Sex comes into play. Ya I don't want to get into that eek I'm scared of that.
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Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 9:59 am
well i now am in my last year in j.high.
and i have a boyfriend.
and right now we have been "going out" for 6 months today.
now i have had a boyfriend for like......2 1/2 years but that one started in 3rd grade and the person had an anger management problem.
BUT the one i have now is really nice and he cares for me SOOOOO much.
and he worries about me at times too, but he says he loves me and that is all that really matters. i mean, yes it might be lust and it might not be but now at the moment we are not sure and now it could end tomorrow for good. and yes we would both be hurt very hard...-ly and then we would know that it wasn't ment to be. but----anyway, in my opinion it is ok to have a bf/gf just as long as you know that it probably wont last your whole life, and you know that you don't want to keep a scar of something (like sex) from a relationship that won't last. so i say no to sex! and yes to dating!(with knowledge)><
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Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 4:19 pm
I don't object to dating in highschool as long as you know the person your dating knows where you stand with jesus and doesn't have a problem with that, cuz I had a friend who dated an athiest and it didn't end up well for her
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Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2004 7:15 am
Mako18 Well, the way I see it, unless you're looking for your soulmate (the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with) I say no dating yet. Because there is no purpose behind it. If you aren't ready for marriage, you aren't ready for dating yet.
Still no one has answer one of my question. How did Solomon keep all seven hundred wives happy? Also how did he deal with all those mother-in-laws?
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Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2004 10:48 am
Well... I am not sure, but I do know that Solomon was king... and people from other lands probably came offering their daughters to him as repayment for his help... it is said that the fame of his rule went out through out all the world.
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Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2004 10:53 am
Graceangel Well... I am not sure, but I do know that Solomon was king... and people from other lands probably came offering their daughters to him as repayment for his help... it is said that the fame of his rule went out through out all the world. An Interesting for Solomon... not much to say other than interesting... neutral
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Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2004 4:19 am
roninfan well i now am in my last year in j.high. and i have a boyfriend. and right now we have been "going out" for 6 months today. now i have had a boyfriend for like......2 1/2 years but that one started in 3rd grade and the person had an anger management problem. BUT the one i have now is really nice and he cares for me SOOOOO much. and he worries about me at times too, but he says he loves me and that is all that really matters. i mean, yes it might be lust and it might not be but now at the moment we are not sure and now it could end tomorrow for good. and yes we would both be hurt very hard...-ly and then we would know that it wasn't ment to be. but----anyway, in my opinion it is ok to have a bf/gf just as long as you know that it probably wont last your whole life, and you know that you don't want to keep a scar of something (like sex) from a relationship that won't last. so i say no to sex! and yes to dating!(with knowledge)>< I believe you are doing well, just keep in mind temptation will soon rear its ugly head, if it hasn't already. Just be prepared to rely on God for strength and you should be ok.
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Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2004 9:10 am
As for dating in general, I myself dated from seventh grade all the way up to my present..lol. well, even tho he's still only my bf and not technically my husband yet. still, i'd hardly say we're dating.. as it's close to five years of us being together...
but, i have to say my first boyfriend wasn't anythign serious.. and later, it turned out he didn't like me at all.. but just felt sorry for me that noone liked me at the time. sad gonk I hated that guy ever after for that... and before he dated me, he had a crush on my older cousin.. crying could you possibly insult a 12 year old girl anymore? really... stare well, that launched harrassment from him and his buddy for remaining of the school year. Once they jumped me on my way home... and did a lot of other stuff to me at church.. i hated him so much for it. crying then, in 8th grade, i did date this one guy who i'll remember all my life.. I didn't "love" him.. but i did like and care about him a lot. He was tons of fun to be with. But.. a few years later, he got lukemia.. and i had been out of touch with him for a while... and, i didn't find out about his dying till a few days after the funeral.. and i was soooo sad. but.. i have always had a memory of him in my heart... and that has ever been my lesson in life to remember and love those around you who you appreciate.. because everyone isn't granted to live until their old age. sad
yars.. then into high school.. and man let me tell you.. i loved boys... even now.. i love men xp yeah. i dated like crazy... had a few longer relationships that actually lasted more than six months... but few of them did .... still, one guy i dated had a truck and took me to the movies a lot. that was fun. then, from the new years of my junior year in high school thru the end, i decided to go till the end of the year without a bf as my NY resolution... i thought it'd be good for me cuz that year i was changing boys like girls change their perfume. and i did it... and ended up not having a technical bf for several years... even tho i did have a lot of really close personal friends. wink
Ok.. and I'm going to be willing to suffer public humliation and judgement from whoever decides to give it here.... but, I also did lose my virginity at 18... and dated a lot of people.. and i know this might not matter... but to those of you who feel tempted.. i want to share somethings to secure your mind to stick with abstenince.. I can't go back and undo my past.. but i can help you guys protect your futures. redface Ok.....
Here's the summary of what needs to be said by me:
Dating is great. it's wonderful and fun.. dating does not mean you owe anyone sex or promiscuous attention. Let me tell you... even tho promiscuous activities aren't technically having sex... it pushes you really close to the line, and that's a very slippery slope. A boy doesn't have to be all the way inside you to get you pregnant or give you a disease. Those are facts you need to know.
Next, reason number 1 to wait to have sex:
the after urges that you suffer the rest of your life gonk
I am not sure if it's this way for everyone.. but a lot of people i know who did things young all say they have: when you are young and have lots of hormones.. you feel lustful all the time. Ok. Well, some think if they just do it.. that feeling will go away and they'll feel satisfied. WRONG! You don't.. in fact, it's like crack addictions.. you get these urges where you feel like you just gotta have it..and chosing not to and go with out it can turn you into one cranky piece of crap person... who walks around acting like they have sticks up their butt and stuff for no reason at all.. makes you very snippy.. you yell at people all the time for hte least little things... it can be very hard to deal with and overcome.. something you just gotta let the Lord help you with day by day.
Reason number 2:
Children.... that's right... this is especially applicable to those of you still in high school. You may wonder, what does dating have to do with having a baby? well... it doesn't have to have anything to do with it.. but most of the teen pregnancies are from young couples doing it. [i apologize if i sound crass.. just trying to give them the honest truth] Any time you do it; you are at risk to get pregnant. No birth control methods are 100%. I have met a lot of young ladies on gaia who got pregnant and are always so afraid to tell their parents cuz they are nice christian people.. and they are ashamed of what their parents will think of them... well, ya gotta think of that before you do the dirty deeds.. cuz once you go there and done that and got pregnant, only three options: keep it, abort it, or put up for adoption. and the first might bring you a lot of problems at home and in social circles, the second is just wrong... we won't even talk about that, and the third is very hard but often teh best thing to do.. but let's face it.. once you carried the baby that long.. you are going to want to keep it.....and, babies are a huge responsibility.
Reason number 3:
No matter what a boy will say... if he wants it really really bad when you're out on a date, you never know how many girls he's really been with.. unless you two are the only two people each other has ever dated.... and it only takes him having been with just one wrong girl only once to give him a disease. ninja
Reason number 4:
Getting married to your soul mate. Ok.. after dating and years of meeting people, you will eventually want to settle down with that one special someone. If you have been with other people, it WILL take away from the special intimacy you share with that person. Seriously.. it does in a lot of ways. If you would like more specific than that, ask me in a pm as i am not publishing that part of my personal life here. sweatdrop redface just trust me on that... it will matter immensely to you one day. 3nodding
Now.... if you want to date and are wise enough to make sure you don't get on a slippery slope to any of the above: dating can be great and a nice way to find the person you're looking to spend your life with. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2004 11:48 am
WOW eek That was very good. I agree with all the wisdom you shared with us. Thank you for taking the time to share that with us. I have been with my gf for 4 1/2 years now, am happy to say I have been fortunate to find my "soulmate" early on. But through those years I experienced some things and have seen some things happen to others that lead me to know that what you say is true. Another thing to add is to make sure that once you find the one you think you will marry, you need to make sure that God is the third rope in the knot you tie later. In other words, in your relationship, married or not now that I think about it, you should make God and active part of that relationship, by praying together, worshiping together, etc. Doing this will make your relationship prosper, believe me I know from experince, me and my gf might not be together otherwise.
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Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2004 12:01 pm
Graceangel Well... I am not sure, but I do know that Solomon was king... and people from other lands probably came offering their daughters to him as repayment for his help... it is said that the fame of his rule went out through out all the world.
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Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2004 12:24 pm
That is sooo true Lithanus. Let me tell you.. when me and josh first got together.. he believes in Christ.. he believes in Christ being everything he should be.. but he has always despised going to church and generally doesn't like to associate with other christians and had a lot of doubts about the bible.. but through my life as a living example.. his faith has like... grown so much.. and whenever stuff is going on at his work, he'll come to me and say, baby, can you pray for this and this? or this person had this happen, can you keep them in prayer? and.. this came about because he sees it.. he sees Jesus doing things on my behalf and answering prayers... and lately, i've seen the enemy making a lot of spiritual attacks on me and was recently trying to cause discord between us... so.. I know that Jesus has been something our relationship couldn't be without.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 7:28 am
well... I'm still looking for my soulmate.... haven't had a serious relationship so far.... I do have alot of boys that are close friends of mine... whee the only thing I ask of a future boyfriend is that he's a christian... or at least respects me for being one smile
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 1:45 pm
Like what a few have said before, dating can be either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how strong you are in your faith. It is good in the fact that it provides experience as to how to treat people of the opposite sex, but then again, if lust takes control, then it could just go into one big downward spiral.
I would say that dating someone who is a Christian is a very important thing. Not just a "Christian" but someone who really has a deep relationship with Christ.
Also with what you said, Lith, worshipping and praying together really does make a difference I would assume. (I personally don't really have any experience with dating so I'm not really speaking from personal experience, I'm speaking from a mind in contemplation).
Yes, dating is pretty much the one way to find the one that God has planned for you, but if temptation and lust get the best of the relationship, then it could turn into something sinful and not the way God wants it to be at all.
Interestingly enough, I've found that most relationships that have been lustful (ie have participated in sex) usually end rather quickly and have crushing results for those that have been in the relationship.
Yes STD's and everything else are big factors as well.
-Anti
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 6:23 pm
I have sworn off guys until the Lord thinks i'm ready, an even then i wanna know the person really well before taking that step. just my 2 cents though 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2004 11:19 am
Well.. here's the thing... if you find someone who is a Christian and has a similar doctrinal belief as you.... some say it doesn't matter... but doctrine can become quite an issue between people. it probably won't really show up while you're dating too much.. but say if you're relationship did go to the point of getting married... and all of a sudden, you are living with this person... and let me tell you all.. there is a entire world of differnece between just dating someone and living with them. i mean.. besides the sexual implications into a relationship.. it's true a lot of new married couples go through all kinds of a time trying to mesh their lives. up till then, they've been used to living their life how they wanted. When you are living together with someone else, you have to blend them. For some people, it's not so easy. Example, some people turn their alarm off right away.. whereas someone else might not like it turned off at all as that's the only way they can wake up. Some people go to sleep with music or tv, some need total darkness and quiet. Some people are ultra neat in their living space; some are total slobs... and the process of going through the merging of this can really take it's toll...
and i know that people think.. well, i'm just dating htem. it's not like i'm gonna marry them.. well, you never know.. because when you're not looking for it is usually when you fall in love... and then head down the road of together foreverness.... that's probably why there are so many divorces. it's not that they don't love each other or have a good enough intimacy... but, they aren't able to find ways of mixing their every day habits and lives... and grow to despise each other's ways.
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