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 Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 9:09 pm
It was a nice dream. Even if Percy was the only one to see him like this, it was enough. For now.
Of course he hoped that his people would look to him and see someone who wanted to help, not the monster of all their stories. He had an impossible legacy to overcome, and the more energy he poured into it, the more things went wrong.
But, he couldn’t stop. A few steps backwards were inevitable, and maybe this was just bad luck, but he hoped he’d overcome it eventually. He had the support of good people, important people. It was easy to feel like he was alone in this just because so much fell on his shoulders, but he knew he had them to support him. And Percy, most of all.
“You inspire me too, Perce. All the time, when I’m between a rock and a hard place, I ask myself, ‘What would Percy do?’ and it helps me figure out what I should do. If it’s not something you wouldn’t be proud of, I don’t want to do it.”
He’d had to do his fair share of unsavory things, but it wasn’t out of desire or enjoyment. It was hard. All of this was hard. And it didn’t feel like any of it got easier.
Except when he was with Percy.
“You chase away my bad dreams too, you know. I never sleep well without you. But I never want to go to sleep when I’m with you. You’re a better dream than anything my mind could make up. But I guess we should try to sleep soon. I’m surprised Dr. Eld isn’t already trying to sneak in to make sure we’re taking it easy.”
But maybe he was too busy being taken care of. Marius was probably fussing over him. Although, Virgil had seemed particularly invested in his wellbeing, too. And Atrius was down to make sure things were okay.
He was either busy with them or maybe trying to rest himself.
Either way, Devyn was glad to have some peace and quiet with Percy.
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 9:09 pm
Percy practically whined when he was told they should probably be trying to sleep.
“But I’m not tired,” he complained, yawning through his words. Okay, maybe he was a little tired. Exhausted. Could probably sleep for a whole day. But he didn’t want to go to sleep when he was with Devyn, either.
They barely had any time together as it was. They both needed to heal, they both had things to figure out -- him with Sessrumnir and Devyn with Alastor. They could only do so much on their own, but maybe with some extra help, they could slowly start making things better.
He had to believe that, even if it seemed impossible.
“I hope you’re not too hard on yourself about what I would do,” he whispered so he wasn’t making it uncomfortable for Devyn while their faces were so close together. “If I had your strength-- if I had Princess-- …. It wouldn’t be you or Serge who needed to be cleaned up after.”
Did he want to kill anyone? No. Did he know that sometimes in order to protect others, it was the only way? Yes. He did it before and would do it again if he had to.
No one told him that Devyn killed anyone in order to get to him, but Percy knew. He was grateful.
“You make me feel safe, Devyn. Thank you.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 9:10 pm
Devyn could have lied. He could have woven some completely fabricated story about how everything had gone perfectly and no one had gotten hurt and everything worked out in an alternate, totally justifiable and fair way.
He wasn’t going to insult his intelligence.
Percy was usually so forgiving, so willing to give someone another chance. For him to suggest…
Devyn kissed him once more.
“I’m glad it was Serge and I, so you didn’t have to. I was thinking I might feel bad for how things happened but I was going to wait until later to think about it. I was worried about you, Perce. I wasn’t going to let anyone stand between you and me. I’m still trying to figure out if I just did what I had to do or if I did too much.”
If he closed his eyes he could replay it all in his head but he didn’t want to see it. But all the same, he didn’t want to be someone who could kill and feel nothing.
The necklace was less confident, and there was something almost stormy about it. It wasn’t dim and it wasn’t weak, it was just off. He could only see a bit of it but he hoped it wasn’t enough for Percy to worry. Devyn didn’t often see the necklace when he wasn’t in good spirits, or otherwise trying to hide as much.
“I’m glad I’ve got strength enough to make you feel safe. Do you want me to read to you until you fall asleep? Since you’re not tired yet. I can wind up the music box so it plays for a while if that would help, too. I want you to rest up and have good dreams. I’ll be here when you wake up. We can make up for lost time then, too.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 9:11 pm
“They were going to take Marius and Celyn,” he said, his voice soft but there was anger that stirred below the surface. “They called them precious valuables. They wanted to recuperate some of the costs that they’d spent getting that far.”
Percy did try to see the good in people, in potential outcomes that resulted in life and growth and second chances.
But those people…? There was no excuse. If they were just looking for treasures locked away in a vault, sure, that was fine. They could have probably been negotiated with. But knowing that they thought of children as valuable? Not only that, but they were okay with using children as bargaining chips. They were okay with murdering them. How many others would they have killed if Devyn and Serge hadn’t gotten there when they did?
Percy tipped his head back a little, wanting to be able to see Devyn’s eyes. He could feel the necklace, and he knew that this was something Devyn likely didn’t want to think about. He knew Devyn was trying to distract him from it, to give him something else to think about too. Listening to the music box, promising to make up for their lost time.
He shifted a little, once more pushing himself up enough so he could look down at Devyn’s face and into his eyes.
“Don’t feel bad. Not for these people. If there were any monsters at Sessrumnir today, it was them. And you helped get rid of them.” He knew Devyn was worried about becoming a monster, but Devyn had never thought about children as precious valuables. Just the thought made Percy’s stomach turn.
He was upset that he hadn’t been stronger, that the attack happened in the first place, upset that this meant Devyn had to work harder to make up for everything he missed out on. But Percy was confident in not wanting these people to be given a second chance, only for them to cause more harm to others because of his naivety.
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 9:12 pm
Silence followed for a few seconds. Devyn was usually a quick thinker and able to summon a response in no time, but this was a little different. He was mad, first. That hate swirled in the back of his mind, feeling so self-satisfied, like it had proved its right to exist.
That alone made it difficult to be at peace, but he couldn’t argue that their deaths seemed more justified. There was no calm in the necklace, but Devyn finally nodded.
Percy’s anger was his anger. If Percy thought it was the best option, so did Devyn.
“Then, I am glad I found them. And I am glad I didn’t waste time on mercy. I will save if for others more deserving. If you say it’s all right, I believe you. Marius and Celyn are both in good hands with Lukas. I think Marius will keep Celyn company, if Dr. Eld lets him. We’ll make sure Celyn is all right before escorting him back to Sessrumnir. There’s plenty on Alastor to keep him busy until we’re done with our nap. I hope,” Devyn paused to yawn, “that he takes time to admire your artwork in the lobby. But Lukas will make sure he has everything he needs. And Marius will make sure to ask for it for him.”
Celyn seemed a mousy type, but maybe he was just in shock or dealing with what had happened. He hadn’t gotten to know him, but Marius was good at taking care of other people. So if Celyn felt at odds or out of place, he at least trusted that between Marius and Lukas he would be well-taken care of.
“I need to make sure Lukas gets another raise,” he said absentmindedly, because as the fatigue rolled in his thoughts became less put together. “And I should do something for Dr. Eld, too. Ah, all of them. I’ll figure it out later. Thank you, Percy. My heart feels a little better now. I won’t think too much about those men. They’re gone now and they won’t hurt anyone else. And you’re safe. So I’m satisfied. Everything else will work out.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 9:13 pm
Percy didn’t want Devyn to be angry or make him think that having to kill people was always the right thing to do. Percy didn’t believe that. He wanted people to live--
But these people had already made up their minds about what their values, or lack thereof, were. If they were so ready to take Marius and Celyn and try to kill that other boy, how many others had they hurt? How many did Devyn save by putting a definitive stop to whatever they had planned?
As Percy looked down at him, his own expression eased a bit, and he pressed a long kiss to Devyn’s lips. It was apologetic and mournful, because he knew that wasn’t the person Devyn wanted to be, but he also didn’t want Devyn to feel guilt for what he did. Not this time, especially.
And, with his chest throbbing painfully, Percy finally allowed himself to settle next to Devyn once more.
“We’ll figure things out,” he agreed, but this time there was a little more hope in his voice than before. Instead of everything swirling in darkness and confusion, Devyn’s words and openness had soothed Percy enough to really believe him.
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