“We both need time to seperate ourselves from the memory. Sleep will help.” He said to the room. He knew the memory wouldn’t just magically grow less oppressive, at least for him. Not with the memory bringing up phantom pains and near crippling fears. But perhaps for Waru, it would create some kind of distance. Make it easier to talk about. Aelius was under no impression that they were finished talking about it. Especially since this was exactly what he had been asking Faustite to do. As painful and shaming as it was there was a hope that maybe, just maybe, airing his dirty laundry will help.
With all of the stated bravado, Aelius had to disagree about Waru’s statement of being easily distracted. “Who are you kidding. You can be pretty insistent on things when you want to be.” Aelius was a perfect example of that. No matter how he tried, he’ yet to dissuade the man from just leaving him alone to mope and be a petulant child all on his own.
He rolled to face Waru as he felt the man getting himself comfortable in bed. He let the comment about caring hang for a bit. Arms reached up to hug his pillow closer to him, careful not to disrupt poor Beans who now had another bedmate to contend with tonight. “I know.” A concession half spoken into the volume of the pillow, eyes looking at the sheets.
“I…” He stopped himself. With a heavy sigh he practically threw himself back over onto his other side again. He was both comfortable and uncomfortable with the situation. The situation being the bed sharing…the vulnerability that had and still was occuring.
“Thanks.” He said softly into the dark room. The other’s warmth was like a beacon that Aelius wanted to shove himself against. To let himself be wrapped up in those warm arms and just exist in a pretend bubble of contentment. But he wouldn’t allow himself that. Waru certain as ******** didn’t deserve Aelius’s hot and cold temperment nor to be given any idea that perhaps there may be more. He wasn’t sure, despite all of Waru’s words, what the man would truthfully think if Aelius sought out his comfort now that the initial shock of it all was over. So, he practically teetered on the edge of the bed. Bent legs just brushing along the precipice of the mattress, spine curved as he curled in on himself, pulling his pillow with him as he buried his face in it. The comforter he tucked up under his chin as he attempted to beckon the sleep he so needed.
And prayed the nightmares would stay away.
shiningamisgirl
