Wilderness awaits Deep water makes colors burn I must soon follow
Swimming little friends Where are we going today? Don’t stray from the reef
Can shrimp be happy Living in Venus’ basket? 8 syllables? Venus' is 3 syllables imo haha They aren’t flowers... 4? aren't? or are-n't
We all blow bubbles! So much like your fireworks 6? is it fire-works? or fi-re-works? Ocean parties ROCK
You can keep heaven Deep and dark is where it’s at Rock on in the deep!
Little unsure on the syllables for these lines. But we could be pronouncing things differently? Just checking in
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 5:01 pm
Valkymie
AislingJuno
AilsingJuno:1,3,4,2
Prompt: #1, #2, #3,
Prompt 1
The seagull crying The taste of salt on my lips Sea foam on the beach
The waves crash loudly The wind whips across the sea Home is this wild place.
Prompt 2
A sharp shriek a scream Blood in once tranquil water My face turns away
Memory tortures I long for his silent voice Silence he is dead.
Prompt 3
I'm Lost and alone The siren song lures me To deep inky depths.
Mysterious cave Villagers don't speak your name A Shroud of secrets
Weary I enter The Behemoth devours all I am no longer.
You also have one line that's a syllable short :>
I put them in a Haiku Syllable Counter multiple times when I was writing them but different programs might read the words differently, If you tell me what program your using I'll use that one to fix the line.
edit: Is it the The siren song lures me? I just put the poem in 5 different Haiku checkers Four of them count it as 7 syllables and one counts it as 6 .
If that was the line that was short
I could re-post my entry and change the line to The strong siren song lures me
AislingJuno
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Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 5:11 pm
Valkymie
One line in your haiku is a syllable short! :>
That's weird... My syllable counter says the stanza is at 17 syllables. O-o And when I add a word to increase the syllable count it goes up to 18.
Edit: I'm using this counter: www.syllablecount.com
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 5:25 pm
AislingJuno
Wasteland Wyvern
Haha I just read them and use my hands to count syllables xDDD
Using a program would be easier/faster but also I think -because- it is a program it could be inaccurate in counting syllables (i cant say i know what parameters the program/coding uses in order to count syllables?)
(also counting for differences in pronunciation though?)
but anyways if your counters are saying it's correct, it's probably fine. You guys can change them if you want, or not haha. I mostly just quote people in case they forgot to add a word or miscounted on accident! :>
elufae Crew
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Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 5:33 pm
Valkymie
Okay! I reworked the line so it definitely has seven syllables now. <3 Thanks for the heads up Valkymie!
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 5:35 pm
AilsingJuno:1,3,4,2
Prompt: #1, #2, #3,
Prompt 1
The seagull crying The taste of salt on my lips Sea foam on the beach
The waves crash loudly The wind whips across the sea Home is this wild place.
Prompt 2
A sharp shriek a scream Blood in once tranquil water My face turns away
Memory tortures I long for his silent voice Silence he is dead.
Prompt 3
I'm Lost and alone The strong siren song lures me To deep inky depths.
Mysterious cave Villagers don't speak your name A Shroud of secrets
Weary I enter The Behemoth devours all I am no longer.
-I voided my other entry. Hopefully it's fine now. -
AislingJuno
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elufae Crew
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Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 5:38 pm
AislingJuno
Wasteland Wyvern
Both are perfect now! Thank you both so much!! Also I just noticed I didn't tell you which line was in question, Aisling, but you found it anyways! I'm so sorry about the inconvenience /sweat
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 7:04 pm
Nyx Queen of Darkness: 1 3 4 2
Prompt: 2
I call it, Desperation.
Hungry, it awakes. Bone and marrow. Life and Blood Any price. Make it sleep.
