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Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 7:52 pm
Beth tried to keep up with her friend's motormouth. There was wisdom in her words, somewhere. "Yes, I suppose that's true. When Circe turned some of us during that last fight against her, I became an alpaca. I wonder if there's a, uh, um, a correlation?" She hoped she used the word correctly. "I thought I would be more attached to my human form, but I wouldn't say I was overly traumatized by my brief transformation into a dormouse." She mused over this, staring at her reflection--what she could see of it--in the dark liquid of her drink. With as much emphasis as she put on her physical appearance, she felt she ought to be more distressed by her memories as a mouse. To a certain extent, she was, but it really felt surprisingly like more of the same.
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:41 pm
"Eh, it's possible there is, but it would be hard to tell with the haphazard way that we were turned. I would need enough of the spell to try it over and over again, logging the results to get anything conclusive." Briiva looked off seriously, as if debating whether or not to pursue it, but was quickly brought back into the conversation. "Physical appearance is honestly only a small part of who you are, despite the heavy emphasis that it's placed on. If you really think about it, you're not even paying attention to it most of the time, well, unless you're that vain I guess." She chuckled before continuing on "It could always be that the things you associate with how you look is more about who you are, or that you were just a more simplistic creature when you took the form of a mouse. Like, you weren't concerned about being a mouse because in that moment of time, you mind simply adapted to your body. Maybe "you" as an entity is more mental and emotional that physical."
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 6:58 pm
Beth's face remained a mask as Briiva continued her philosophizing. When it was clear there was no stopping her, Beth's gaze dropped to the cup in her hand and she realized that being inebriated was probably her best course of action. She downed the drink to the last drop and gave Briiva a long, long look. Bleakly, she said, "Well, I guess I'm vain, then. I don't know. Maybe it's everything you say, but." She trailed off, shrugging. "But what I do know is that I am way too tired and way too sober to question existence and reality as it relates as a function of our perception and consciousness." She held out her glass, wondering if Briiva would be courteous enough to refill it. Or if the girl would even notice at all.
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Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:17 pm
Briiva laughed, but scooped up Beth's glass, wasting no time in topping her drink back up and handing it off. "Don't pay me any mind. I just really enjoy debating things that are hard to really prove one way or another. I think, at the end of the day, the most important take away is just if you're happy with who you. It's important to not get so caught up in everyone else that you don't leave any time for yourself.
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 8:46 am
Beth's lips quirked up in a smile that was meant to be a polite acknowledgement of Briiva's words. Before she could stop herself, she mused, "It's a nice sentiment, but doesn't really work in practice." She briefly wondered at the person she could have been if her docile and eager-to-please qualities hadn't been cultivated at the cost of literally everything else...but she saw the darkness waiting in that abyss and quickly scuttled back from the edge of that pit. No need to follow such trains of thought. "Well, I mean. I honestly can't imagine you being any other way besides yourself."
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 6:16 pm
Briiva gave Beth a cockeyed grin. "That's a very subjective approach. You can be anything you want if you work for it, and really dedicate yourself to the goal." She scooted over closer to Beth, wrapping her arms around her friend in a warm, if a little stifling, embrace. "Everybody is ******** up, one way or another. Doesn't matter that your damaged, what matters is how you decide to let the experience motivate you. Simply saying that you are who you are because of circumstances feels comforting because it allows you to maintain the status quo, not to strive to be who you really want to be. Lookit me, for example. Raised and sent to the best schools my parents could afford, and here I am at a magical school for gifted and broken people with patron in the Greek Pantheon, on the off chance I can rise above my own insecurities and issues and do something with the potential to chance humanity for the better."
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Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:01 pm
If Beth noticed that any of the words were intended for someone other than herself, it was soon overcome by the twisting of her stomach. She pulled away from Briiva's arms, saying sharply, "It's not that easy for some of us." It was difficult to think that all that stood between her and whoever she wanted to be was her own mind. "You can't just choose how to feel. Choose how to behave, maybe, but in the end it comes down to what you feel and the damage that's been done to you." She hadn't meant her voice to sound so harsh, but there was something in the perceived dismissal of Briiva's words that irked her. "And I...it's just...how could...who are you to judge someone for being comfortable? There are people who poke and prod at you just to see you disturbed and afraid! Why shouldn't comfort be important?"
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 5:58 pm
A look of shock crossed Briiva's face, not having expected to be reproached for her words; certainly not with such voracity. She tried to interject and for once and found that she simply couldn't get a word in edgewise. The shock turned into something -else- as Briiva listened to Beth shout. She could see the distress she had caused, but once the shouting turned it's focus to her, it managed to dredge up everything that Briiva drove herself to forget. She could feel her entire body trembling.
"You think this is easy for me? That I'm judging you? What the ******** do you know about me? That my dad died and my own mother won't so much as look at me anymore? Or maybe that I choose to act happy and excitable every goddam day I wake up because maybe, just maybe I'll start believing it myself? Or maybe that I was talking about myself to show you that you weren't alone and you could open up to me!?"
She was still shaking, tears streaming down her face. Not that she noticed, though her face was much more drained than when she had began shouting back. Briiva slumped back and chewed her lip as she tried to calm herself, all but spent in the emotions department. With a sniffle, she wiped at her eyes. "I'm- Sorry."
Briiva hugged her knees, looking away, her expression suddenly distant.
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:34 pm
It was like a switch hand been flipped and sucked all of the air right out of Beth, the balloon. First Brian, now Briiva. Was she ever going to get it right? Beth brought both of her hands in front of her and patted the air placatingly before reaching a hand to Briiva's in an attempt to be sympathetic. But it seemed that Briiva was winding herself up. Beth recognized all the signs, but couldn't help the annoyance that stabbed at her. Beth, who of all people should have known how easy it was to slip into self-deprecation, found only frustration in the face of all of Briiva's messy emotions. And then came the tears and the shouting. Now, Beth was alarmed. And guilt started eating at her stomach that she had been so narrow-minded and self-centered. "Briiva...I didn't know. I'm the one who's sorry." She cast around, trying to figure out how best to calm her down. She settled on refilling her glass and offering it to her. "I know what it's like to have distant parents. Or parents who don't see who you are and rather some collection of labels and identifiers. None of which they like." It took some effort but she managed to stop herself from going further. This was supposed to be about Briiva, after all. "Not that I know what it's like to have a dead parent or anything but...." She paused, then said, "Would you like to talk about it?"
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Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 2:01 pm
Briiva leaned onto the wall, shoulders heaving as she looked away. She could hear Beth talking, and some part of her registered that her friend was trying to reach out, but she couldn't help but feel like she was a million miles away. Her outburst had brought so many ugly and painful memories to the surface, and Briiva couldn't help but be overwhelmed with how insignificant everything was compared to the hole that her father passing had left. Her perfect, annoyingly smug, impossible to measure up to father. Briiva was aware enough to take the glass offered her, and managed to take a deep breath and still the shaking emanating from every fiber of her being, but simply stared down, past the drink. Numbness slowly spread over her, replacing the crippling sense of being so alone. She brought the glass to her lips, taking a long drink as that familiar warmth of booze ran through her. She took a second drink, finishing the glass and handing it back before clutching her legs all the tighter, rocking gently back and forth.
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Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 9:04 pm
Beth took the glass back wordlessly. Well, then. Part of her wondered if she should enable what she recognized as a self-destructive coping mechanism. But another part realized just how ill-equipped she was to actually try comforting her friend. She poured another glass and handed it back off, this time clambering up beside Brriva and gently stroking down the girl's spine. She knew that sometimes it was best to just let the tears happen. They were in Briiva's bedroom, for all intents and purposes an inner sanctum and the safest place she'd ever be. She moved her hand up into Briiva's hair. Whether greasy or recently washed, Beth tried not to think about the effect the move did to her nails and soft hands. Pats on the back and hair strokes always calmed her down; maybe it would help Briiva as well. After a bit of rocking and crying and perhaps even a bit of drinking, Beth tested the waters again. "You're right, Briiva. I don't know your personal life. We haven't talked about it. You're welcome to. You know. If you want."
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 6:30 pm
Briiva downed the glass almost as soon as it was handed to her, her heaving chest slowly returning to something approaching a normal breathing pattern. Briiva could feel her mind cloud over, allowing her mind to fall into a calmer dissociation of thought. She mumbled a non-reply to Beth and set the glass aside, unfolding herself to twist around and grip Beth tightly as she more or less collapsed on her. She had been mindful enough at least to stay out of the way of Beth's glass. Feeling of her friends warmth calmed Briiva down slightly, hearing her heartbeat more so. With a deep breath, Briiva gently nestled her ear against Beth's chest, content to listen to her friend doing little more than existing. And for now, that was enough.
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:31 pm
It was difficult to make sure neither of them had a mishap with glass or spilled wine, but Beth managed to set her drink with Briiva's before her friend latched onto her. Beth tried to rearrange herself under Briiva's slight frame before deciding that sitting up was no longer possible and let herself lay back on the bed. She hoped she wouldn't mess up the peacock fascinator Misha had gotten her. Beth let out a sigh. Her big fat mouth had gotten her into this mess, she might as well try to talk her way out. "It's okay, Briiva. You're okay. You're here with me." She soothingly rubbed her back, petting her head with the other hand. She realized that Briiva had chosen to rest on her not insignificant bosom, but felt it was hardly fair to move her away.
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 4:24 pm
Briiva could faintly hear Beths words, barely heard over the vortex of the whirlwind of thoughts that were only down settling back into place. As her mind began to settle, so did her breathing and her grip on Beths torso. Finally, with a long drawn out inhale, Briiva let her arms fall and shifted her weight off her friend and back onto her sheets and pillows. As she let out an equally long exhale, Briiva mentally ran down various fuel-to oxygen ratios of different rocket designs, until this most recent outburst was buried, deep into the interlocking and constantly rearranging defensive walls of arithmetic, obsession, and her unfaltering facade of ego. Eyes still red from crying just moments ago, Briiva dried her face with her own sheets, flashing Beth one of her usual cocky grins. "Yeah... Yeah, I guess I am okay, now that you're here." With a wink, Briiva had bolted to a sitting position, and planted a kiss firmly on her friends cheek. "So.. thanks."
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 6:33 pm
What was going on? First Brian, and now Briiva. Was Beth going to alienate all of her friends today? She took the opportunity to sit up; no need to risk getting trapped under Briiva's weight again. She looked down at the Hephaestus Chosen a bit worriedly as she collected herself, but said nothing. Beth sincerely doubted that it was her presence or words that brought Briiva back to the land of the living. But she accepted the thanks with a tense smile of her own. They were twin insincereties, passing between them. Beth blushed a bit a the kiss, though, and briefly wondered if she should return the gesture out of politeness. But her better judgment stopped her and she realized how silly of an idea it was. Leading her on was not something either of them needed. "You're one of the first friends I made at the Prytaneum. Of course I'm here for you." She gently laid her temple against the side of Briiva's head. "I'm sorry for getting so defensive. You never mentioned your parents before. I half imagined you sprang, fully formed, from a bottle of vodka and a sheet of steel." She wasn't sure if the attempt at humor would be welcome, but she sensed that maybe the topic wasn't done yet. The last thing she wanted was to send Briiva spiraling again.
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