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 Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2016 7:25 pm
Michael could tell that the touch to his waist was hesitant, but he lifted his free hand to place over top of Caspian’s, holding it there, at least for a little while, and if only to try and let him know that it was okay. He leaned down for Caspian to nuzzle his face against his neck, but shifted slightly in surprise at the small gasp.
He pulled back as Caspian did, and opened his mouth to ask if Caspian was okay, but was met with a gaze so full of emotion that he was left momentarily speechless. He could see everything wound up together, both negative and positive, everything Caspian felt rolled into one.
When the question finally came out and Michael was asked if he cared about the age difference, he didn’t laugh, nor did he frown. He had no immediate reaction aside for maybe his eyes softening a little as he looked fondly upon Caspian’s face. The somewhat bitter laugh, though… Caspian could have done without.
Michael leaned down to kiss him before saying anything, first. But when he pulled back, he was smiling softly. He should have known this was part of Caspian’s self consciousness. It was pretty obvious now that he said it all out loud.
“I don’t care, Cas,” he said. “Age doesn’t really matter to me.” He paused, his expression twisting into a small grimace. “I mean, if you were seventeen, it might have been a little more difficult, but that’s for other reasons, and if you were I would be okay with waiting,” he shrugged, hoping that didn’t sound too creepy of him, but it wasn’t as though their ages were that far apart.
“I’m fifteen years older than Peter,” he pointed out, and then paused again with another pained look. “Well, I guess that’s different than… us… but, still.”
He purposefully avoided making any mention of how his brother’s mother-in-law was ten years older than him, but he didn’t really want to have that conversation. She was probably not going to be too happy about this turn of events…
He coughed softly, to clear his throat and thoughts, and shook his head again. “I hope this doesn’t offend you, but I think you’re beautiful…” Ah, that sounded weird.
“Like… handsome-beautiful. Uh… s**t. You look good,” Michael stumbled through, not exactly used to dishing out honest compliments. Sure, he could say someone stunning or lovely and not mean it, but it was different with Caspian.
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2016 7:36 pm
The kiss was unexpected and reassuring, Caspian’s wide eyes falling shut as he let himself sink into it, a soft sigh of pleasure escaping against Michael’s lips. He wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to that, or to the affection that lay behind it, his heart in his throat as they parted, his eyes searching Michael’s.
He did not want their ages to be a factor, and he did not want that to be a reason why they couldn’t be together, in whatever capacity. Michael’s firm reassurance and the following, slightly flustered words made Caspian’s chest tighten, a burst of soft amusement in his gaze that mingled with the undeniable care.
The compliments, however stumbling they were, made his stomach flutter. Caspian bit down on his lower lip, looking at Michael with an expression of absurd fondness.
“I like you,” he said, the words blurted out abruptly, but he didn’t try to take them back, Caspian’s eyes meeting Michael’s. He’d said it before, a few times, but it seemed so important, somehow, to say it again, now, when they were fumbling their way through this new, fragile thing of theirs. He swallowed hard and shifted closer, Caspian pulling his hands free so that he could place them on either side of Michael’s face, thumbs smoothing over his cheeks, feeling the roughness of his stubble against his palms.
“I like you, Michael,” he said again, Caspian’s voice quiet. “I’ve never...really been with anyone that I liked as much as you. You make me feel...so good, even though I need you to say things ten times and I look the way I do, and act the way I do. You let me be myself and you seem to be...okay with that.”
He had never cared before, not as much as he cared now, in a way that scared him. Caspian gently ran his fingers along Michael’s jaw.
“Thank you,” he whispered, and smiled a little, even if it was small. “And for the record...I think you’re unbelievably handsome and sometimes it kinda...takes my breath away,” he added, feeling silly for saying it aloud, his cheeks reddening.
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2016 7:49 pm
Michael’s eyes widened for only a moment, before settling back into the affectionate gaze that was becoming more commonplace when looking at Caspian. While he definitely recalled Caspian saying that he liked him a few times before, it always seemed a little surprising. Maybe because he kept thinking that Caspian would change his mind. Probably just like how Caspian thought about him not being okay with his age or how he looked or anything like that.
He held still when the hands went to his face, although the smile widened just slightly, his hands reaching up to settle on Caspian’s waist, gently running them up and down his sides. The more he was around Caspian, the more lucky he realized he was.
“Haven’t I told you before that I want you to stay exactly as you are? I want you to keep being you. That’s what I like about you,” he said, his voice just as soft as Caspian’s.
The compliments had him laughing softly, although the affection in his eyes didn’t diminish. He was told he was handsome and nice to look at, but hearing it from Caspian seemed different. He liked the way his cheeks flushed in color.
“You’ll have to remind me to never stop working out. What if I let myself go? Gain a lot of weight?” he half joked, if only because it was completely possible. He didn’t think Caspian was shallow enough for his attraction to him to be solely based on physical. That didn’t mean he couldn’t be a bit self conscious about it.
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 9:47 am
He was vaguely aware that Peter was, in fact, home and somewhere in the house. And although neither Caspian, nor Michael, was wearing a shirt, they weren’t as...preoccupied...as before, when he had found them. Which reminded Caspian that he was going to punch Peter the next time he saw him, but right now there were more pressing matters.
Like the soft, pleasant sound of Michael’s voice in his ears, or the hands that reached out to hold onto him, firm and gentle simultaneously.
Caspian bit his lip again, though this time it was to fight a smile. He eased himself closer, his arms twining around Michael’s neck. “Fine,” he murmured. “I will stay me, and you’ll stay you, ‘cause I want you to stay the way you are, too.”
He gave a soft laugh, Caspian leaning forward to give Michael a gentle kiss on the lips, because really, he couldn’t quite help himself. He drew back and rested his forehead against Michael’s, giving his head a little shake.
“I’d like you even if you were a hundred pounds heavier with a lumberjack beard,” he said.
A pause, and then he added, “Maybe not that much of a beard. Gotta draw the line somewhere”
But he was smiling softly, his tone gently teasing. Caspian’s fingers gently smoothed along the nape of Michael’s neck. They would have to go out sooner or later, before Peter came barging in again, but first...
“And…” Caspian said quietly, “You like me, right…?”
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 12:07 pm
He liked Caspians laughter. He’d already decided that, but every time he laughed, Michael was reminded again and again. His hands remained on Caspian’s bare skin as he leaned in to kiss him again, Caspian’s arms going around his neck.
He liked being close. He liked feeling wanted and liked.
But there was still that self consciousness Caspian had. That they both had. That they were both working on trying to overcome, although he was sure it would take longer than just a couple days or weeks or months. It might take them the rest of their lives, but as long as they had each other’s support…
A strange realization dawned on Michael as his thoughts shifted. Did he really hope Caspian would be with him the rest of their lives? It was certainly a nice thought. A very nice thought. Was he possible? He wasn’t sure, but at least for now he couldn’t imagine wanting to be without him.
And, Michael also realized, although he tried not to let it trouble him too much… there was a very real chance that one of them might die much sooner than the other.
Michael’s thoughts were drawn back when Caspian fingers brushed along his neck, and softly asked if Michael liked him. A small smile grew a bit wider, and Michael leaned in to press a kiss to Caspian’s cheek.
“I like you,” he said softly, and then kissed his jaw, “I like you, I like you, I like you, I like you,” he continued, each time kissing another spot on Caspian’s face. “How many was that? Five? I like you, I like you, I like you, I like you, I like you,” he finished with a lingering kiss on Caspian’s lips, his eyes shining brighter than they had in a long time. “There, are you convinced now? And fine. No lumberjack beard.”
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 3:37 pm
He could not allow himself to think too far ahead into the future, because Caspian’s insecurities made it difficult to see past the present without getting anxious. But he knew, at the very least, that he did not want to lose Michael, now, or...possibly ever. Holding onto him for as long as he could - being with him as long as he could - was now an essential part of Caspian’s life, a very large part that seemed to take up room inside of his heart and stay there.
The little kiss to his cheek made him smile, but it was the gentle, unbearably sweet, unbelievably adoring kisses to his face and his jaw made Caspian blush furiously, letting out soft sounds at each one, his heart hammering in his chest. The words reverberated in Caspian’s mind, over and over, until his head was spinning with them, until Michael had leaned in and kissed him, his eyes bright, Caspian feeling the curve of a smile against his lips as he leaned into it, holding onto Michael with his arms still looped around his neck.
“Okay,” he said, his voice a little more uneven than it should have been, but Caspian was laughing softly, his chest tight, his eyes, stupidly, stinging slightly at the corners. ”Okay, I believe you, I believe you.”
Caspian felt so happy it was making him lightheaded, almost dazed. He tilted back to look at Michael, his expression soft and overwhelmingly affectionate as he lifted a hand, tenderly smoothing back a stray lock of hair.
“Keep this scruff, though,” said Caspian, and placed a brief kiss to Michael’s rough jaw before he leaned back a little more to look up into his face. “I’m okay with this.”
“...we should go out there,” he said, somewhat reluctantly. “Before Peter thinks anything stupid.”
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 4:58 pm
Michael laughed lightly as Caspian kissed his jaw, looking back into his eyes as he pulled away. He liked what he saw on Caspian’s face. He liked the soft little gasping noises he made when he was kissed. He liked the flush to his cheeks and the shine in his eyes.
“Good, you better believe me,” he said, pleased, and smoothing his hands up and down Caspian’s bare back, before finally drawing in a breath and letting it out slowly. He reached across the bed, taking two tries before he was able to grab onto the shirt he’d pulled off Caspian, holding it up to offer to him.
“Peter exaggerates. He probably doesn’t care as much as he lets on,” he said with a shrug, at least hoping that was true. Whether Peter cared or not, he didn’t know. Something told him that he didn’t. Not really. It could have been a lot worse.
Carefully, so as not to pull Caspian off the bed with him, Michael rose to his feet. He paused for another moment to lean back down for another quick kiss.
It was going to take a lot for both of them to get used to the fact that they both liked each other and wanted to be with each other in every way possible, but one step at a time was all they really needed.
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