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 Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 1:51 pm
The ride was slow, and the warm heat about him made him feel content and sleepy as he slowly stoked Zar's hair before he rested it against his back. Sleep was impossible. He would find himself drifting and wake after feeling a sense of panic or irrational anger only to wake and notice it wasn't him at all. It had what little snippets of dreams come out odd and strange as his brain tried to rationalize and react to the feelings that weren't his. He also had a few times where he winced when Zar's movements crushed vital and sensitive parts of him.
Instead of sleeping, he watched the estate move away from them and and carriage move through the grounds, the sky a lovely gray and making him pine for a nice drizzle. The rainy season was already here and the traditional festival, a type of kelpie birthday for everyone, done and past. There had been no reason for him to celebrate it, yet he feel a sense of nostalgia and surrealism that it was that time that he started to want to leave the clan.
He reached out to stroke Barth's knee, noticing the new wet marks each time Zar moved and drooled elsewhere.
He smelled the hay before they even reached the gates and it really started to hit him how real this all was. Smiling, he nuzzled against the demon, whispering to him. "Heyyyyy Zar. Sleepy-head. We're here."
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 3:50 pm
Barth found himself more than a little nervous the closer and closer they got. He had wanted it, of course- he badly wanted it, but he was normally...a lot shyer of commitment. And they hadn't really prepared at all-
And there'd been...well, nothing like a ceremony between them, except for...
"We'll have a few days to get ready," Barth said, looking out into the dirt field as Grimhold pulled the carriage to a gradual halt. "After we..."
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 3:54 pm
Zar stirred partially at Calders words and partially at the nuzzle filling his senses with kelpie scent.
But other than this and opening his eyes, he did not move, simply groaned as he caught up with what was being said. "After we bring chaos we don't need into our lives."
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 5:55 pm
"It's a manageable chaos." Calder said, brushing some hair out of Zar's face.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 4:15 am
Barth pulled away from whatever responsibility gun he was staring down, and smiled wryly at Zar/ It was the first time he'd acknowledged it was happening.
"Well," Barth said softly, "if you're ready."
The carriage could not take them into the patch. Grimhold helped Barth down into the mud, and anyone else that needed portaging. Barth bent carefully to inspect the potential vessels for rotting. Many of the pumpkins were fresh, whole, and engorged, stained with dirt and ripe with magical energy already. The pumpkin sun seemed extra bright, although the air was chilly.
Barth found, at last, an almost perfectly round and large pumpkin nestled in pumpkin vines. Bright yellow flowers bloomed nearby.
"How about this one?" He asked.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 5:00 am
Zar wasn't ready, he had never been ready to deal with a responsibility as monumentous as being a parent and the thought of it filled him with dread, however it found itself in sharp contrast and contest with other instincts which ran far older and deeper, bound up with the very nature of who he was, sexuality after all was not without an essential function at the end of the day.
He still wasn't much for walking, even after his rest, though he did manage to lift his head to inspect the pumpkins with the same scrutiny Barth had displayed. He wasn't sure what to look for, but had the same essentially good feeling about the pumpkin that was pointed out.
He nodded and the action made him rest his chin back on the ground in exhaustion. "Looks good to me." he said, finding himself almost eager to divest himself of the plentiful fear that thrummed in his veins.
He tried not to think too much about what he was about to do, held in place only by the heavy fear in his body and the mark on his chest, flighty and afraid in the face of change, inadequacy and trusting so much of himself to two individuals who he trusted yet could not fully trust because of his own nature.
"Lets get it over with." he said. "Before I get ill."
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:52 am
Calder helped where he could, picking up Zar's tail like the trail of a bride's gown before they moved to the pumpkin patch. It was actually rather large but then again so was the estate. Many pumpkins of different shapes and sizes and colors with fresh blossoms seemed to glow in the bright radiance if the sun.
Barth's choice was round, large and seemed...
"It's perfect." His voice hushed as he placed his fingertips to his lips.
Kneeling down, he looked at it and felt his heart racing at the very idea of where he was and who he was with right now.
"So....guess we just....start?"
He looked over at Zar and Barth.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 10:46 am
Barth cleared his throat.
"We infused some of our fear into minipet treats to facilitate bonding. I'm sure it's not all that different from that."
Barth placed his hand on the pumpkin, careful of the long claws and not to dent or scar the tough outer husk.
"I think the main thing is keeping it...even. Sort of like, err."
Grimhold was hanging awkwardly about, and stealing occasional nervous, shielded glances at the sun.
"Grimhold," Barth said suddenly, "if you'd like to find some shade, or wait in the carriage, you can. We won't be long. We'll call if we need you"
Grimhold nodded, and disappeared with eerie swiftness and silence.
"I've...also heard that each person should make a wish."
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:02 am
Zar sighed, his reluctance and fear felt across the mark by Barth as everything in him panicked at the very idea of it all. But he was held in place by the promise and the decision that his calmer and less anxious mind had made. He wanted it, but at the same time he didn't and that conflict was always an integral part of who he was. He had no option but to set his fear aside and so he did.
He arched his back, despite this taking a great deal of effort and dragged himself to coil serpentine around the pumpkin, his claw resting on it also, it was possibly the first voluntary action he'd performed the whole trip.
"Wishes are pointless." Zar said in an irritable drawl, and even while he said it he was without realising it making a wish of sorts.
I hope whoever they are, they are better than me.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:08 pm
"That was.... a while ago." Calder said with a nervous smile. So long in fact that it was when his hair was still white.
Kneeling down, he watched as Barth and Zar both set their claws on the thick skin of the pumpkin. Slowly, he set his hand upon it, and smiled down at seeing all their hands together on such a precious thing.
"Making a wish can't hurt." And he had so many wishes for their scarlings. To be happy, healthy, to know they would be loved for whatever they were, did, or desired. He wanted them to know they would have a family there for them whenever they fell or needed them to catch them. He wanted them to have a life different from the fears he had growing up and to start off with what took him years to find out on his own.
I wish they have the freedom to go after whatever they love.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:35 pm
I need some help with the business, Barth thought, pushing a flow of venous fear while he did.
It was not a warm wish, and he did not know what would come of it, if anything. He could have wished for their luck, or happiness, or success.
Instead, he wished for his own success.
He supposed, if he was going to be investing this much power in something, he might as well get something out of it. He wasn't sure if the process itself was closer to infusing the candies, or sex. He could feel the thrumming fear from the other two, swirling like whirlpool of not-quite-blood and not-quite-spirit, and tried to send pulsations of fear in steady, even throbs. They didn't want the pumpkin to explode, but they didn't want it too low on power either, and Barth was quickly becoming aware why this was a dangerous and often-failed venture, even with adults.
The pumpkin, however, was able to handle...much more fear than he felt possible. It was like leaking fear into a very thirsty sponge, and although he had been laden with power these past few days, he felt himself gradually weaken, as if it was drawing from his throat, his heart- his mouth grew dry, and sweat rolled down the back of his neck.
He watched Zar and Calder, however, and never faltered in pace...he knew that splitting the cost between the three of them, it was much less than it otherwise might have been.
Eventually, the pumpkin seemed fuller, somehow, and less receptive to the Fear they were pouring into it, and the ebb of fear eased to a a trickle, until at last they'd evenly put in the last few drops.
Barth sat back, dizzy and spent and pale, and while the pumpkin looked large and almost glowing.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 3:12 pm
Zar resented letting go of power, he resented vulnerability in a way that was difficult to put into words, he was a creature of hunger and want, a lean hungry starving thing that was never really satisfied, all want and need and jealousy. Giving up anything, no matter how small felt as urgent and immediate as death to him, and that was why handing over his fear to the pumpkin was harder than he could even begin to explain to anyone. It was like pulling chunks of his own flesh out from his body and handing them to a stranger. It was what he wanted but also in his innermost self he resented it. It was something that he did in the hope that it would give him a more immovable place in the lives of those who mattered to him and that there would be a stranger in the world who might not hate him (though given his family history this seemed a slim chance), it was an act of desperation and instinct. It was a petty and vicious thing, his way of tainting Calder and Barth's dream of having scarelings with himself because he would never have been able to bear not to be involved, to have to watch as everything went to plan and he found himself immovably surpassed in the estimation of his companions.
Zar didn't really want scarelings, but he would deal with them, he would cope with them because it was just another thing to be overcome and if it demanded a pound of flesh to him, he would give it. Anything was worth it to feel a part of something successful and serious. It didn't stop him being afraid though, it didn't stop the pull of the thing twisting his stomach and making all his instincts scream to flee. It felt like being devoured and he found every inch of its demand a new and special hell. He gave it up because he had promised to give it, and it felt with every heartbeat more of him left, more and more of the covetously hoarded power he had been amassing in recent weeks and months.
For a moment he found himself terrified that he would find himself the person he had been a few years ago once again, that this had all been some long ploy to fatten him up like a cow for slaughter and use him for what had been the intention all along. It was paranoid and crazy but it didn't stop him thinking it and - in the terror and fear of the moment - believing it.
He didn't think it would stop, that it would just drain him until there was nothing left but his black core and then even that would fade and as his fear waned he closed his eyes and his breathing picked up but his claw stayed put as if it was bound to the pumpkin itself, the mark like a hand on his chest keeping him put and holding him still.
It stopped and his hand finally fell free, slumping to the dirt where he left it, shifted from contented and buzzing exhaustion to the genuinely drained weariness of long exertion, his breathing shallow and rapid.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 3:50 pm
It was hard to control his fear. His very nature was the release of fear whenever you wanted, whenever it came, to exert yourself in quick, fast bursts, not to ween it out slowly over a stretch of time. It was diving, running, pushing, physical in all forms, and just sitting here with a hand on a delicate pumpkin and trying to gauge how much and how little to put in had him shaking.
His mind went to Mrs. Cricket's classroom where he stood right up front, eager for scarling lessons, only to have a pumpkin explore all over him. It was the thought of his parents going through the same ordeal, of pumpkins cracking in their hands and crumbling, showing them how they had failed. Growing up to see his parents leave and then come back, a little more drained than just giving Fear that day. There had been a silence in their mourning, and when he was too young to know, he still knew they had lost something, a little bit more of their hopes, only to spend another season, several sometimes, before they gathered their pride and courage to try again. It wasn't until he was older that he asked, and he felt his throat press tight and his bones feel settled in the history of their failures. Their one success, a strike in the dark, that actually managed to survive.
If this wasn't going to work, he'd be the one to break them. Scarlings only took two, and he wondered why Barth wanted them all three together? He had wondered if it ever came, if it would be split in separate visits, and it had only been recently they even could be in the same room when – well, that one time with their own fears.
It had been miraculous they had all come together but he wondered if they were volatile this way and that the pumpkin would know. That the unknown powers of the world would deem their mixtures unable to support life and that an element had to be removed, and he feared he would be that very element. Demons and demons made sense, didn't they?
But the setting felt right, and yet all of him felt maybe he was all wrong. The Fear in him swirled, a crashing whirlwind rushing about, but instead of just expending it out physically, he looked at the pumpkin, this shell that needing pouring into. He tried to think of water, and gritted his teeth as he hoped beyond measure this all worked, and despite this being all of them, he so wished for what he wanted for so long to work.
Please, please be good. It will be ok, pumpkin. It will be ok. Just….work for us. Pleeaasseee.
He poured in more and more, tensing when he felt himself surge up, and felt himself breathing hard at the delicate nature of holding it all in such perfect balance when all he wanted to do was pour himself entirely like a broken damn.
But soon the thing filled, a well holding their dreams, glowing brightly in the sun. Falling back, he sat there, breathing in slowly as he looked at the plump pumpkin. That was it. That was all that could be done. Would their mixture hold? He could only hope.
"Is that…….it?" He breathed out, looking to them both.
"Well, it didn't explode." He said with a weak chuckle that made him want to throw up.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 4:00 pm
"That's all I've got," Barth said, joining Zar to lie in the dirt.
"It takes a few days. From what I understand. We'll...check on it. Someone will check on it. Oh, I had no idea it would be like this. I feel like someone's sssssucked my insides out with a straw."
Barth was flashing in and out of consciousness. He moaned, "I could sleep for a month," with absolute seriousness.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 4:07 pm
Zar felt awful, his energy ebbed back in in feeble dribs and drabs and it was his energy, anything residual he'd had from Barth was gone and what was left was a sorry state. Slowly he picked himself up, one step at a time, propping himself up on his claw, bringing his knee forward, moving his tail and rising to stand unsteadily.
"You should call Grimhold." he said, and it was mostly because he knew he couldn't have carried Barth like this if he'd wanted. It was beside the point that he didn't want to touch anyone right now or want anyone elses fear near him. His instincts were telling him it was time to find a quiet place to curl up and die and though he knew that was not what was going to happen to him, he still did not actually want to be around anyone.
Barth got a look. "Am I free to leave?" he asked. "I think I will walk back."
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