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 Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:17 pm
The cave was right there in front of them, looming like a blight on a map. Chance's eyes swept over it all, taking in the crevices of the rocks, the dark shadow that spread at the mouth of it, and he could almost understand why Otto was as afraid as he was to go in.
He took a few steps back, sliding around so that he was behind Otto instead of next to him, and lifted his hands, placing them gently on either side of his arms; a supporting gesture, rather than a restrictive one or a pitying one.
"I'll go with you," said Chance quietly. "I'm not gonna tell you some s**t like you shouldn't be afraid of it, but you've got some ridiculous amounts of guts to you, and you're ******** smart and you know what you're doing. You survived that nest."
He gave Otto's arms a squeeze and then let go, moving beside him again.
"If you decide against it, it's not running away, Otto; but either way, there's no wrong choice here."
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:30 pm
Don't hyperventilate. Don't shiver. Don't feel. Don't be afraid.Otto swallowed hard. Even with the comfort of Chance being supportive, the blond felt sweat already forming despite the cool ocean breeze. He felt dizzy and ill, as if facing this fear was literally destructive to his body. Why was he pretending to be a new person? A man who could face fears with bravery and courage? A man who didn't run away. But if he ran from this too, he'd become depressed and ashamed. "Big cake." Otto said suddenly. "Chocolate. With strawberries. Chocolate covered strawberries. A bowl of Skittles. Chocolate milkshakes. Root Beer floats.." He began naming off things that made him happy, slowly urging his stiff knees to bend. Hesitantly, he began walking into the cave.
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:34 pm
He waited for Otto to go first before he followed; and there was a gentle, encouraging smile on Chance's face as he took the steps forward, shifting slightly closer so that he could hear him better.
A light laugh escaped him.
"Cheesecake," said Chance decisively, his voice echoing a little in the cave's entrance. He almost reached out a hand to steady the very hesitant Otto, but decided against it. This was his fight, after all; he didn't want to seem condescending or pitying.
"Those Oreos with the colorful filling. Chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches. M&Ms, the crunchy kind, 'cause those are the best kind."
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:40 pm
He walked deeper, and deeper. Light waned, and Otto tried not to put on the sunglasses. He held them tight in his hand; on hand in case he lost heart. He didn't expect this to cure him; just that he could prove to himself that he didn't always run away. "Cherry pie with real whipped cream. Chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven; hot and gooey. That's the only time I'll drink milk is when I got hot and gooey cookies to go with it." He kept his mouth running, his mind distracted from the fear of what lurked in the darkness. His steps were slow and careful, ever fearful he'd fall or someone might grab him.
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:16 pm
It was growing dimmer inside the cave; Chance could just make out Otto's silhouette beside him, tense and uncertain, but still moving.
"I like apple pie myself," Chance said casually, stepping over an outcropping of rock, their footsteps echoing in the darkness. "What, don't like milk? Cookies and milk are like a staple! Also I like those sour patch candies that you were talking about before, and cherry vanilla soda."
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:21 pm
"Milk is nasty." Otto's voice took on a shakier sound, as if something were vibrating. Trembling. "It tastes like it's goin' bad. It's just.... no good. Always hated it." He stopped, as things got too dark. His body freezing in place. He'd traversed dark caves before, but they were in life or death situations during a mission. This was by choice. He had a choice. He groaned, a noise that sounded much more pathetic than he meant to. "I need to make this fun." His breathing became shallow, as if he were on the verge of panicking. "I can't move."
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:35 pm
Chance felt, rather than saw, Otto slow and freeze in place, and his own steps faltered as he waited in the dark. The darkness was around them both, swallowing them, and while he did not feel the same sort of petrifying fear that Otto did, it was somewhat unsettling.
"Okay," said Chance, his mind working fast to come up with something. "Here, wait - "
He reached out, grappling in the dark, and managed to find Otto's arm. Carefully, Chance maneuvered himself in front, and slid his hands up to rest on the other's shoulders, holding steady, but not restricting.
"We're not here," said Chance lightly, keeping his voice deliberately mild. His own heartbeat felt strangely skittish. "We're totally just back in my room - or yours. We've had a drink, we're watching one of your favorite movies - one of those weather ones. You've closed your eyes because we're just gonna lay back and look at the stars, because let's face it, stars are ******** awesome."
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:55 pm
He heard Chance move around him, his eyes staring ahead. He flinched only slightly at the feel of his hands on his shoulders. He tried to keep his focus on the man's voice, and not on the suffocating darkness around him. He wasn't sure that the suggestions helped. His room was bright. Chance's was bright. Stars were bright. This place was dark. Cold, and dark. This wasn't working. He didn't feel braver, or manlier for facing a fear. He felt small, and scared. He did, however, close his eyes. That's why it was dark, he decided. His eyes were closed. If he opened them, he'd see it all just fine. . . . Nope. Not working. "This was a bad idea." He groaned. "Think this place really does have an exit? Or should we just go back?" They'd barely gotten very far, yet it felt like he'd been there forever. He shook his head. He didn't want to go back and have let Chance see him like this for nothing. He wanted it to be worth ******** it." He found his courage, and firmly moved Chance from his personal space. He'd do this, if only so he didn't look like any more of a pansy. A nancy boy, like Rep had said. He stepped forward, a little more purpose in his step. His hands were on the walls, navigating the cold, damp caverns. He'd beat this damned cave. "No point in making a not fun cave fun, anyway."
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:59 pm
He waited a beat to see what the outcome was; whether or not Otto would continue forward, or if he would want to go back.
Chance exhaled a breath. "I think it probably does have an exit," he said lightly, but obediently stepped to the side, out of the way, and let his hands fall away from the other's shoulders so that he could continue on. A part of him wanted to ask if he really did want to keep it onward for real, but Otto had already started moving, and Chance climbed after him, stretching his arms out to find the walls of the cave.
"You do have a point, at least in some respects," he conceded. "But you're doing this for yourself, remember. You're proving something to yourself, not me or anyone, or anything. It's up to you how you want to see it."
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 6:03 pm
"I wanna see it as.. me bein' able to do something that scares me, even if I don't wanna do it." He sniffed, the dampness making his nose run. "That..even if my life ain't on the line, I can still do it. So I don't p***y out every time just cause I'm afraid." He hated being afraid. Weak. He almost slipped on a stone, clutching the side of the cave with a sharp breath. His heart beat was accelerating, and he just wanted to stop and never move again. He kept moving.
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 6:05 pm
"There's nothing wrong with being afraid," Chance said softly. "You're afraid right now, but you're still doing it."
But he wasn't sure if he was hindering or helping, and he felt like a hypocrite for saying it in the first place, because Chance himself refused to admit when he was afraid and did the exact same thing - ran away. He heard the sounds of rocks being displaced, and then Otto drag a breath in, and Chance shuffled forward in the darkness, the palm of his hand scraping against the side of the cavern. It stung, but he didn't stop, continuing on behind Otto.
"You know, you're pretty ******** inspiring."
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Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 1:34 pm
"Seriously?" He asked, not quite believing the other man. He couldn't see how a twenty year old guy cowering in a cave was any sort of inspiring. He felt the first touch of a breeze coming from his right, and he began to follow that light, subtle breeze. There may just be an exit after all. "Can't say I see what yer seein'."
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Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 1:38 pm
He smiled in the darkness.
"Yes, seriously," said Chance, attempting to mimic the incredulity that Otto had used. "I mean...you were terrified to come in here, and you still did. You're still going, even if you paused."
He lapsed into silence for a moment, his thoughts shifting, and a gentle breeze skimmed over his face; strangely reassuring.
"What you said before, about...me being afraid," said Chance. "About people. I haven't got a clue how to act around people most of the time, and I'm still mostly unwilling to take that step forward. Yet here you are, going on in spite of the fear. It's...inspiring."
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Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 1:46 pm
Otto let those words fall into silence, while he considered them seriously a moment. The tunnels elevation began to increase, making it so Otto needed to climb at an angle; sometimes using his hands to continue. Light began to fill the cave. Small, inklings of light. "I'm never sure how to act with people either.." He admitted, "M'thinkin' I was born without much charisma." He shrugged, finding himself feeling less edgy now that he could see his own hands again. The tunnel started to level out again, and an opening was about twenty feet away. "You gunna try and conquer a fear too? Cause I'll just throw this out there right now. I'm still afraid of the dark and I ain't ever comin' back to this cave again." "I mean... go for it, but I dunno if my method is any kind of effective. I think I just wanted to prove to myself that I don't always run away."
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Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 1:52 pm
Chance reached up, his fingers scrabbling for a proper hold so that he could haul himself up after Otto. There was just enough light starting to filter into the cave that he could see what was in front of him, and he breathed out a sigh of relief.
"I was born without a lot of things, I think," said Chance, with a little laugh as he brushed rock dust from his hands. "A general lack of being able to understand people in terms of emotions and just...being friends, which, as I've learned lately, can be frustrating."
And a little disappointing. Claude had had a point when she had told him that he was focusing so hard on one thing to avoid being disappointed by another. Chance exhaled a sigh.
"Don't worry," he said, "I wouldn't make you come back here, that would be just plain mean. But you still managed to do it anyway, so..."
He felt saying I'm proud of you would sound soppy and silly, and it wasn't about him anyway, but Otto, so Chance merely let his sentence trickle off as the entrance came into view.
"There it is, right ahead."
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