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The darkness was so heavy here. It weakened her eyes and her body. It was difficult to move. It didn't matter though, she knew everyone made mistakes and she didn't blame anyone. Everyone had fought hard. She had fought hard....

She remembered sobbing, so much sobbing. Her friend could barely speak her face was so overcome with tears, they ate at her.

"I knew it all along, but I didn't want to. I'm...I'm fine. I'm sorry I can't be happy for you right now...but I'm not mad, it isn't your fault...I knew..."

Eternity, it took forever for her to get the words to come out, but it was worth it. The heaviness gone. She hugged her friend....

[Damage = 0]
*Borg enters!*

He knew this.

That the Red Queen wasn't one behind all this. Nor White Queen, not Alice-AI.

He raised his weapon against the Distortion---

but something stopped him.

His memory are being undone. Extracted. Unrolled like old movie tape-




Shaken by the surge, Borg stepped back-

He couldn't cope. He hadn't been able to cope. The loss and solitude had been so immense that he had wanted to disappear. No one would miss him, Nuru came around less and less and then not at all. And it was trying to fix him that he went away for ever.

He remembered how it felt to lose himself.

Home it promised. Home. Just go home. Be part of a we, surrender your individuality, we can be together, we can be together for ever.

And he'd wanted it, he'd longed for it, to be a part of something, to be welcome and included instead of always the lonely outsider. He wanted it deeply, to immerse himself in others, to take them into him and to take him into them and perhaps it was his nature that controlled it, perhaps it was the sexuality innate in him that made him long for closeness. But perhaps it was that part of him he felt was too human too broken.

Home had wanted him and he'd had nothing else to fear. He didn't need to worry about not eating, about where Nuru was or about his parents. He didn't need to worry.

The grey had seeped into him and he hadn't even noticed. He'd never had colour, not really, always void of even that. The mist was him and he was it. It was like dying but painless, he didn't have to worry about messing it up, no more worrying.

Home was freedom from pain.

Home was freedom.

Home was free.

Home was.

Home.

And he was losing himself again, he couldn't. He couldn't give in. Not again. It wasn't death, it wasn't freedom, he had things to live for. Not big, no. Not big. But worth living for.

He had to keep it together.



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My character's username: Defile
My character's level: 26
Character's HP: 30
Small IC description of character: Demonic, with enormous wings, grey skin and large black swooping horns. A set of hooves and a timid and apologetic demeanour.
Character journal: [x]

The White Queen was still alive.

More than that, she realized. The White Queen was changing, evolving into something different, and all she could do was watch in trepidation and horror as the room fell to darkness. No. No no no no no.

But when she lifted the lotus staff and attempted to attack, she found that her movements had slowed. It was as though ice was taking over her joints, and as she struggled to land a hit, there was a blast of white and--

She was ready to dash forward, eyes blazing, when a hand grasped her arm, tugging her backwards.

"No." Her eldest sister said quietly into her ear. "Let me handle this."

Marzena was about to protest; how could Mira be so calm when the bullies were holding Zofia up by the scruff of her neck? All she wanted to do was to introduce them to her fists, but all it took one stern look from her sister. Fine. They would try it her way.

Mira merely stared at the boils, who seemed to wither underneath her stare for a moment. Marzena expected her sister to say something, anything, but all she did was to walk up to the boils---

And she walked straight past them.

They looked as confused as she was, but soon straightened up and laughed. "Too scared to face us, huh?"

Marzena was ready to wipe the smug looks off their faces and had taken a step forward. But it was then when her sister turned and raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to your parents' house." She said softly. "I wonder how interested they will be to come out and see the evidence of their children's disobedience."

Their expressions quickly turned to one of pure terror, and they dropped the tiny seal; Marzena launched herself forward and caught Zofia safely in her arms, and ran.

Inside it was boiling over as she stood in the presence of the others, underneath whatever the hell it was. Under her she felt that her legs were harder to move and she tried her best to get away from it as the thoughts began to circle in her head all over again. It was that thought. That deep and dark pain, sharp inside of her chest, aching to get back out. She'd been holding it for so long.

It couldn't be held in anymore.

Desperately she scanned the area and looked for Yves. He was the only one that she'd willingly given her name to. In the crowd she noticed him and moved her heavy body over to him. Granted she was certain he didn't notice her she was desperate. If it was going to come out, it was going to come out to someone who at least knew who she was.

"Yves..." She said through gritted teeth. "I'm compelled to say... a strange thing so..." Internally her body was on fire and she growled, looking down at the ground.

"The reason no one sees me anymore, the reason I've been hiding... It's because of my brother." She started, glaring down at the ground as some ease came to her mind as she continued to talk. "We all lost so much before, but losing him... I never got to tell him anything about how I felt." She gripped onto his shoulder for some support, the burden of her secret slowly easing as she spoke. "Not being able to tell him any of that weighs heavily on my mind everyday. When I practice, I see him. When I sleep, I hear him. I used to be a warrior with strength and ferocity but this is a weakness I can't control..." She paused for a moment to pull away, staring back to the other horseman.

Oddly enough small tears had formed in the corners of her eyes despite the angry look on her face.

"I wasn't strong enough to save him, I wasn't even strong enough to tell him that I... loved him as my brother and was proud of him. I've never been anything then, if I couldn't do that..."

Another pause.

"I'm weak."

His mind was spinning with so many things, and in the mixture were spinning questions, thousands of questions, all bubbling up to the surface uncontrollably. The curiosity was insatiable, suddenly. All he could think about was fulfilling what his mind had to know, right that moment, even if there were greater problems like why was he freezing up? and why would this queen just not die?

The questions just started bubbling up, and he couldn't make them stop no matter how much he wished he could.

"Why are we here?"

"What's going on?"

"Who are you?"

"Why do I feel like I'm turning into stone?"

"Can we win this?"

"Who is she?"

"Why is the White Queen doing this, can't she just go away or something?"

"What shade of blue is that?"

"What color are your eyes, I can't see them?"

When Q walked up, he asked a few more questions.

"When did you get here? Are you okay? Where's Biggie? Why is the White Queen doing this? It's hard for me to move, can you move alright?"

The questions just wouldn't stop--he didn't seem like he was controlling them.

N-no... he couldn't... let his past regrets consume him. He knew he couldn't change what he had done, or take back what had happened, but now... now... it was different. He wasn't going to wallow in regret. He wasn't going to repeat the same mistake. This time... he'd learn to move forward. Press on. He would never forget, but he wouldn't let it hold him back anymore.

And so, gritting his teeth, he took his katars and swung at the queen.