Candy Dandy
What is your favorite thing for dessert?
Suggestively-shaped rainbow lollipops!
What's your favorite way to spend free time?
Knitting exciting lingerie!
Do you ever want to have foals?
I can’t have foals! I do have a passel of kids, though.
Honeysuckle
What is your favorite flower?
Are cucumbers flowers?
How would you make love grow?
Massage it gently and use encouraging words.
What is your dream romantic evening??
I can’t describe it in public, but it ends with a $300 tip.
Poet Lariat
If you were in a play, what character would you be cast as?
The chaste nun. I’m a good actress.
Do you enjoy dark places where words of wisdom, passion, and soul are spoken?
Oh honey, those are the ONLY places for Wilma.
Where would you have an after party to celebrate a great performance?
A hotel room at a place that actually has a star rating.
Macarena
Do you have the moves to shake my maraca?
I dunno. Last time I used a maraca, three dudes ended up in the hospital.
What kind of musica makes you shake your Bon Bon?
Huh. I know who that is. I didn’t know she was into being shook.
Since size don't matter, after all it's the motion of the ocean, how could I make it a big night for you?
Aww honey, I’m sure whatever you did would be fine.
Warp Nine
What's your favorite constellation and why?
Virgo. It makes me feel nostalgic for this toga party I went to once.
What do you see when you stare into the night sky?
I… don’t see anything.
Who's your favorite Starfleet captain?
Kirk. He looks like he could show a girl a good time!
Bohemian Raspberry
What's your favorite song and what color do you see when you hear it?
The House of the Rising Sun… and I see burnt orange.
If you got a tattoo, what would it be?
Shoot, sug, ol’ Wilma’s got like ten of those!
What makes you feel like your heart's got wings?
Chablis and testosterone.
Bumble Thunder
What's your favorite school of martial arts?
WOAH GIRL, I don’t go in for that marital stuff!
How do you unwind after an eventful day?
Sleep and Tiger Balm gingerly applied to sensitive areas.
What's your favorite kind of smoothie?
…smoothie? Honey, are you asking me where to go get a Brazilian? Lemme fish around in my bra here… ok yeah, here’s the card. Ask for Blind Willie (not Deaf Willie, Deaf Willie’s actually blind) and tell them Wilma sent you.
Cherpumple
Cake or pie?
Cherry pie!
If you were a candle, what would your scent be?
Proooobably Sex on the Beach.
Do you prefer jam or preserves?
Want me to show you where I can jam some preserves?
Roc N Rolls
What's your MOST favorite music genre?
Crustcore.
If you could hear only one song for the rest of your life over and over, what song would it be?
Gunther’s Tra La La song.
Do you dig dudes with long hair?
Dudes, chicks, non-binary folks, anybody!
Flits N Giggles
Do you prefer seed birds or birds of prey?
I like flamingos the best! So… neither? I mean, don’t they eat like seamonkeys?
Do you prefer bright feathers or shiny baubles when making a dance floor intended for attracting a mate?
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, sug.
If you were an egg layer, what would your eggshells look like?
Fruit Punch
What's your ideal way to spend a night out on the town?
Not getting arrested
What's the name of your favorite drink? (Alcoholic or non)
Vodka surprise! (The surprise is Robitussin.)
What's your opinion of dating somebody with baggage from a previous relationship? (Turn off or Turn on?)
Well, speaking AS the baggage in like five different relationships, I can safely say I have no problem with it whatsoever.
Jolly Roger
How do you feel about pirates?
Kid, you’re looking at the inspiration for figureheads from Tortuga to Bali.
Do you like the ocean?
Aye, the call of the sea lures all men; she’s a siren I can only aspire to mimic.
Aye?
Aye, laddie. Aye.
Nocturne
How do you feel about dance?
I’ll try anything once.
What makes you feel centered?
Fortified wine.
Are you a fleeting or forever kinda phony?
NOTHING lasts forever. Except herpes.
TART
What is your favorite thing about TART?
Oh sweetheart, everything about you is wonderful.
What kind of gifts would you bring to woo me on our first date?
Something to make you laugh with the simple joy of youth.
Tell me I’m pretty.
You’re a beautiful little girl. Stay that way. Little. Innocent. You’re far too young… too young, child.
Marvel
If you could have one super power, what would it be and why?
The ability to reverse time.
DC or Marvel?
Both at once!
Whose your favorite superhero (or villain)?
Silk Spectre I.
Extra Extra
What's your favorite section of the news paper?
The personal ads!
Printed news or digitally released news?
Print news, especially now that Craigslist has shut down its Adult Services section.
What is your idea of fun?
[Wilma tries to speak, but as Phonyland is a family-friendly place, she is silenced.]
Sweet Bread
If I could make you the perfect sandwich bread what would you put in it?
Big, fat, juicy, dripping sausages. And some cheese.
What is your ideal date night?
It ends in a nice big paycheck, that’s fo’sho.
What do you look for in a significant other?
Big, fat, juicy wallets. And booties. You gotta have the booty.
Spica
What is the meaning of family to you?
...People you protect. If you can.
What's your favorite romantic story?
Pretty Woman… [Was that… sadness in her voice?]
What's your favorite quiet activity?
I don’t really believe in doing quiet activities.
Frag Doll
Do you like video games?
I love “video games!”
What is the Konami Code?
Isn’t that the maneuver where you grab the joystick and do this with it? [Wilma does a complicated hand gesture that looks like up up down down left right left right slap slap slap slap.]
What sort of life do you think we could have together?
Oh honey, you don’t want Wilma to be a permanent fixture in your life. Wilma's a rolling stone who rocks alone.
Morning Glory
How do you feel about foals?
I don’t do age play.
Which do you think is better; shoring up your weaknesses or playing to your strengths?
Playing to your strengths. We’ve all been dealt a hand; we gotta make the best of it.
Can you make mix a screwdriver?
Sure can!
Silk Kimono
What do you think makes a happy family?
Oh baby. Ain’t no such thing. I thought there was once, but… there ain’t no such thing.
Do you have any favorite TV Shows?
Say Yes To The Dress, but only when I’m awful liquored up and in a cryin’ mood.
Do you think that doing things yourself is best?
I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.
Valkyrie
Why are there so few services for newly arrived babben phony in your city?
I dunno, darlin’- I ain’t from around here. But there’s nothin’ where I come from- maybe it’s so we don’t get used to having things done for us? We gotta make our own way in this world, y’know.
What is the best pizza place around?
I like the dumpster behind what used to be Denny’s!
Are we going to educate young phony and humans to what other animals say?
I hope not. For their own sakes.
Reaper
What tactics would you use to win a hoof fight?
Tactical kisses. Want me to show you, big boy?
Do you collect anything?
Twinkie wrappers and pickle jars. Want me to show you, big boy?
How do you define loyalty?
A ten percent discount. Want me to show you, big boy?
Rosewrite
What is your most treasured possession? Why?
[Wilma says nothing at first, but reaches into her purse and gently touches a faded picture of three young creatures like herself, all with dark fur and long manes. The middle one is smiling widely and waving at the camera, while the other two are laughing, their heads thrown back and their teeth showing in unbridled amusement. The picture is creased and one corner is ripped off. The middle creature looks extremely familiar.] That’s a hard question. I’d say my favorite lipstick!
What was the last book you read?
”Fifty Shades of Gray.” I THOUGHT it would be pretty good, but it was just fifty different desaturated squares.
If there was one fact about you that I should write down in my book, what would it be?
I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue! And my toes.
Rose Knight
What do you fight for and why?
Prime real estate! It’s all about where you are.
What is your favorite place in Phony Land?
The alley behind the medical clinic!
Wanna tussle?
Now you’re speaking my language!
What is your favorite thing for dessert?
Suggestively-shaped rainbow lollipops!
What's your favorite way to spend free time?
Knitting exciting lingerie!
Do you ever want to have foals?
I can’t have foals! I do have a passel of kids, though.
Honeysuckle
What is your favorite flower?
Are cucumbers flowers?
How would you make love grow?
Massage it gently and use encouraging words.
What is your dream romantic evening??
I can’t describe it in public, but it ends with a $300 tip.
Poet Lariat
If you were in a play, what character would you be cast as?
The chaste nun. I’m a good actress.
Do you enjoy dark places where words of wisdom, passion, and soul are spoken?
Oh honey, those are the ONLY places for Wilma.
Where would you have an after party to celebrate a great performance?
A hotel room at a place that actually has a star rating.
Macarena
Do you have the moves to shake my maraca?
I dunno. Last time I used a maraca, three dudes ended up in the hospital.
What kind of musica makes you shake your Bon Bon?
Huh. I know who that is. I didn’t know she was into being shook.
Since size don't matter, after all it's the motion of the ocean, how could I make it a big night for you?
Aww honey, I’m sure whatever you did would be fine.
Warp Nine
What's your favorite constellation and why?
Virgo. It makes me feel nostalgic for this toga party I went to once.
What do you see when you stare into the night sky?
I… don’t see anything.
Who's your favorite Starfleet captain?
Kirk. He looks like he could show a girl a good time!
Bohemian Raspberry
What's your favorite song and what color do you see when you hear it?
The House of the Rising Sun… and I see burnt orange.
If you got a tattoo, what would it be?
Shoot, sug, ol’ Wilma’s got like ten of those!
What makes you feel like your heart's got wings?
Chablis and testosterone.
Bumble Thunder
What's your favorite school of martial arts?
WOAH GIRL, I don’t go in for that marital stuff!
How do you unwind after an eventful day?
Sleep and Tiger Balm gingerly applied to sensitive areas.
What's your favorite kind of smoothie?
…smoothie? Honey, are you asking me where to go get a Brazilian? Lemme fish around in my bra here… ok yeah, here’s the card. Ask for Blind Willie (not Deaf Willie, Deaf Willie’s actually blind) and tell them Wilma sent you.
Cherpumple
Cake or pie?
Cherry pie!
If you were a candle, what would your scent be?
Proooobably Sex on the Beach.
Do you prefer jam or preserves?
Want me to show you where I can jam some preserves?
Roc N Rolls
What's your MOST favorite music genre?
Crustcore.
If you could hear only one song for the rest of your life over and over, what song would it be?
Gunther’s Tra La La song.
Do you dig dudes with long hair?
Dudes, chicks, non-binary folks, anybody!
Flits N Giggles
Do you prefer seed birds or birds of prey?
I like flamingos the best! So… neither? I mean, don’t they eat like seamonkeys?
Do you prefer bright feathers or shiny baubles when making a dance floor intended for attracting a mate?
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, sug.
If you were an egg layer, what would your eggshells look like?
Fruit Punch
What's your ideal way to spend a night out on the town?
Not getting arrested
What's the name of your favorite drink? (Alcoholic or non)
Vodka surprise! (The surprise is Robitussin.)
What's your opinion of dating somebody with baggage from a previous relationship? (Turn off or Turn on?)
Well, speaking AS the baggage in like five different relationships, I can safely say I have no problem with it whatsoever.
Jolly Roger
How do you feel about pirates?
Kid, you’re looking at the inspiration for figureheads from Tortuga to Bali.
Do you like the ocean?
Aye, the call of the sea lures all men; she’s a siren I can only aspire to mimic.
Aye?
Aye, laddie. Aye.
Nocturne
How do you feel about dance?
I’ll try anything once.
What makes you feel centered?
Fortified wine.
Are you a fleeting or forever kinda phony?
NOTHING lasts forever. Except herpes.
TART
What is your favorite thing about TART?
Oh sweetheart, everything about you is wonderful.
What kind of gifts would you bring to woo me on our first date?
Something to make you laugh with the simple joy of youth.
Tell me I’m pretty.
You’re a beautiful little girl. Stay that way. Little. Innocent. You’re far too young… too young, child.
Marvel
If you could have one super power, what would it be and why?
The ability to reverse time.
DC or Marvel?
Both at once!
Whose your favorite superhero (or villain)?
Silk Spectre I.
Extra Extra
What's your favorite section of the news paper?
The personal ads!
Printed news or digitally released news?
Print news, especially now that Craigslist has shut down its Adult Services section.
What is your idea of fun?
[Wilma tries to speak, but as Phonyland is a family-friendly place, she is silenced.]
Sweet Bread
If I could make you the perfect sandwich bread what would you put in it?
Big, fat, juicy, dripping sausages. And some cheese.
What is your ideal date night?
It ends in a nice big paycheck, that’s fo’sho.
What do you look for in a significant other?
Big, fat, juicy wallets. And booties. You gotta have the booty.
Spica
What is the meaning of family to you?
...People you protect. If you can.
What's your favorite romantic story?
Pretty Woman… [Was that… sadness in her voice?]
What's your favorite quiet activity?
I don’t really believe in doing quiet activities.
Frag Doll
Do you like video games?
I love “video games!”
What is the Konami Code?
Isn’t that the maneuver where you grab the joystick and do this with it? [Wilma does a complicated hand gesture that looks like up up down down left right left right slap slap slap slap.]
What sort of life do you think we could have together?
Oh honey, you don’t want Wilma to be a permanent fixture in your life. Wilma's a rolling stone who rocks alone.
Morning Glory
How do you feel about foals?
I don’t do age play.
Which do you think is better; shoring up your weaknesses or playing to your strengths?
Playing to your strengths. We’ve all been dealt a hand; we gotta make the best of it.
Can you make mix a screwdriver?
Sure can!
Silk Kimono
What do you think makes a happy family?
Oh baby. Ain’t no such thing. I thought there was once, but… there ain’t no such thing.
Do you have any favorite TV Shows?
Say Yes To The Dress, but only when I’m awful liquored up and in a cryin’ mood.
Do you think that doing things yourself is best?
I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.
Valkyrie
Why are there so few services for newly arrived babben phony in your city?
I dunno, darlin’- I ain’t from around here. But there’s nothin’ where I come from- maybe it’s so we don’t get used to having things done for us? We gotta make our own way in this world, y’know.
What is the best pizza place around?
I like the dumpster behind what used to be Denny’s!
Are we going to educate young phony and humans to what other animals say?
I hope not. For their own sakes.
Reaper
What tactics would you use to win a hoof fight?
Tactical kisses. Want me to show you, big boy?
Do you collect anything?
Twinkie wrappers and pickle jars. Want me to show you, big boy?
How do you define loyalty?
A ten percent discount. Want me to show you, big boy?
Rosewrite
What is your most treasured possession? Why?
[Wilma says nothing at first, but reaches into her purse and gently touches a faded picture of three young creatures like herself, all with dark fur and long manes. The middle one is smiling widely and waving at the camera, while the other two are laughing, their heads thrown back and their teeth showing in unbridled amusement. The picture is creased and one corner is ripped off. The middle creature looks extremely familiar.] That’s a hard question. I’d say my favorite lipstick!
What was the last book you read?
”Fifty Shades of Gray.” I THOUGHT it would be pretty good, but it was just fifty different desaturated squares.
If there was one fact about you that I should write down in my book, what would it be?
I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue! And my toes.
Rose Knight
What do you fight for and why?
Prime real estate! It’s all about where you are.
What is your favorite place in Phony Land?
The alley behind the medical clinic!
Wanna tussle?
Now you’re speaking my language!
