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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:09 pm
Ian was just as curious as Shiloh was, but he kept his eyes and his hands to himself, considering the alternative would wind up with a bad ending. So he waited patiently until he heard the affirmative, and then he turned back around, reaching for the rest of his belongings.
He gave Shiloh a pointed look that said he clearly knew exactly what he was doing. Ian held out the bag.
"Come on, dump 'em in," he said, with a teasing roll of his eyes. "I'll just drop everything off in my room, and then just throw them in the laundry with the next load."
Ian nudged Shiloh's shoulder with his own, nodding his head towards the door.
"After you, duck."
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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:41 pm
Shiloh grinned in response. "Thanks, you're a lifesaver," he said as he dropped his clothes into the opened bag. "Let me know when you do laundry next, I'll come help." Then, after making sure he had everything, he headed towards the door at Ian's encouragement, holding it open for Ian to make his way through. "No, no, after you, Chicken." kurotomato aaaaand next rp topic got hahahaha
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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:48 pm
He smirked a little. "I can't promise it'll be anytime soon. I'm not exactly a big go-getter when it comes to actually doing anything productive, especially if it involves...less than pleasant things."
Wrinkling his nose a little, Ian slid out of the doorway and into the hallway again, waiting for Shiloh to catch up to him before he began walking. He lapsed into a slightly uncomfortable silence, his mind going about a thousand places, none of which he understood, and it wasn't until they had reached the door to his room that Ian spoke again.
"Hey, um..."
There was a pause. Ian fiddled with the knob and pushed it open, hesitating before he went in.
"Can we, um...talk..? For a sec..?" he asked finally, feeling somewhat stupid for even asking.
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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:08 pm
Shiloh shook his head, somehow not surprised. "It'll be soon, otherwise all of our clothes are going to be brown forever," Shiloh laughed, falling in stride with Ian. "But fine, I'll come get you." The silence that followed was unexpected, and Shiloh wasn't sure how to break it. Every time he snuck a glance at Ian, the man seemed to be deep in thought, and Shiloh wondered if he had said something wrong. He didn't really understand, but he supposed Ian would say something when he was ready. He didn't have to wait long, as Ian spoke up when they finally reached his room. Shiloh looked up at the sound of his voice, and nodded as he followed Ian into the room. "Sure, what's up?"
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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:15 pm
Ian dropped the bag of dirty laundry unceremoniously into a corner, pushing it away with his foot as he closed the door behind Shiloh, fingers lingering on the doorknob. He hadn't meant to actually say anything at all, but really nothing good would come of procrastinating it - and besides, clearing things up would most likely make everything that much better.
Or worse. Ian was, to say the least, unintentionally bad at conversing.
He stood in front of Shiloh and fiddled with the bracelet around his wrist for a few seconds before actually saying anything.
"I want...well, I want a lot of things, but..." Ian took a deep breath and lifted his gaze, meeting Shiloh's carefully. "I need to know what you want out of...this." He waved a hand between the two of them. "To make matters completely unfair, I have no idea what I want, which I know is pretty dumb, but..."
His expression softened a little. "I know that I like being with you," Ian said, a little quieter. "And I know that I wouldn't mind spending some extra time with you. Or kissing you, for that matter, because kissing you is pretty damn nice, or holding you, or just being close with you. And I know I told you I'm not a good person, but..."
Ian closed his eyes briefly. "I just want to know...what you want."
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 9:37 am
Shiloh watched Ian, and listened. What did he want? He wasn't entirely sure in what way Ian had meant the question, whether he wanted to know what Shiloh wanted physically or altogether. Tilting his head at him a little, he tried to figure it out. Shiloh hadn't expected this sort of conversation, at least not so suddenly and without warning. "I, uh, what, do you mean like dating? I don't understand what you..." The words fell flat on his ears, and he was mad at himself, but it was hard to know what he wanted, when he had little experience in his life to frame it by. His feelings were much the same as Ian's, only stunted by his lack of ability to imagine much more. He liked Ian, definitely as a friend, which came easy, and by the way his heart sped up as Ian detailed all the things he wanted, his 'like' wasn't limited to friendship. He wanted to try all of those things, and to try them with Ian but he didn't know how to admit it. "I like being with you too," he said finally, after a long pause and a lot of mental sorting out. "You're fun to be around and you make me laugh, and no matter how much you deny it, you are pretty good at being a friend... I don't know what I want, Ian." He glanced at him, his expression lost, like he wasn't sure what emotion to feel. "I like you, and I like... doing those things with you. I like kissing you. I find you very attractive. But I've never done this before... Not with a man, not with a woman, not ever. So if you want to do this... I don't know how to do this. You're going to have to lead me through it."
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 9:49 am
He let out a little of his breath, his eyes watching Shiloh carefully, wondering whether or not the answer would be one that he hoped it would be, one that was a step in the right direction.
Whatever that "direction" even was. He shifted his feet, still fiddling with the bracelet around his wrist, though it was mostly an attempt at keeping his hands occupied. Inside of his head, Naomi was entirely silent, which he greatly appreciated; he wasn't sure he could handle her radiating disapproval at him during this particular conversation.
As Shiloh spoke, he exhaled a long sigh, some of the tension easing from his shoulders. Somehow, hearing that Shiloh was feeling much of the same way made him relieved, even if their circumstances were different. Ian was used to being with people, Shiloh was not. But Ian was used to being with a certain kind of people, people that were like himself, and Shiloh, with his gentle innocence and his bright cheerfulness, was entirely new to Ian.
"Neither do I, really," Ian admitted, a little ruefully. He took a step towards Shiloh. "I'm not exactly...the best example of anything, really."
Another step. "But I'm okay with leading you through the basics, and maybe, with the two of us, we can figure this out."
He was right in front of Shiloh now, and Ian lifted one hand, his fingers pinching the front of Shiloh's shirt, near the hem, and he pulled him a little closer without touching him more, his eyes searching Shiloh's; a childish gesture, almost one that craved reassurance and nearness. He wasn't sure what would work and what wouldn't, but trying never hurt either.
"A trial run, then," he said quietly. "How's that? We'll...have a trial run. Just you and me."
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:28 am
“A trial run,” Shiloh repeated, testing the word out. Ian had inched towards him. Closer and closer until he was close enough to tug Shiloh closer by the bottom of his shirt, and Shiloh let him, watching him with searching brown eyes. “A trial run.” It sounded fair enough, considering their combined inability to come up with concrete answers. Shiloh moved his arms from his sides, placing his hands gently over Ian’s and looking up at him. He untangled Ian’s fingers from the hemline of his shirt, moving them to his hips so Shiloh could move nearer, closing the gap between them. He was nervous, but they were in this together, and Ian couldn’t be the only one braving his demons. “Sounds like a good start,” he breathed softly, and his expression warmed as he smiled up at him.
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:56 am
At first, Ian had worried that Shiloh drawing his hands away meant that he didn't want to, that he disliked the nearness, and for a second a sense of dread and frustration flashed through him.
But then he realized it was just relocating them, and Ian's fingers pressed into Shiloh's hips in slight surprise. Automatically, his hands slipped further, around him, drawing him nearer, until Ian's arms were wrapped entirely around Shiloh's waist, one hand pressing against the small of his back.
"Yes," said Ian, and he was looking down at Shiloh, feeling unnaturally nervous. "A good start," he mumbled, and maybe this was a bad idea, maybe it was a good idea, he wasn't entirely certain, except that Shiloh was smiling at him, and his face was close - and then he was kissing him again, exhaling against Shiloh's lips.
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 2:58 pm
He liked the nearness, he liked it a lot. It was comforting, and he leaned against Ian, wrapped up in the warmth of his arms. He liked the feeling of Ian's lips against his even better, and for the first time, determined to prove that he wanted this too, that he wanted to try, he kissed him back, draping his arms over Ian's shoulder and tugging him closer. He was proud of himself, even though his heart was racing and he was sure his face was beat red. Pulling back, he breathed out slowly, savoring the moment, his warm brown eyes shyly meeting Ian's. Then his stomach rumbled, and Shiloh stepped back with a laugh, embarrassed. "I guess you'd better feed me, before we start anything else."
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 3:18 pm
He'd expected the same endearing shyness, the same bashful sort of curiosity that he'd already come to know and accept. Ian was used to taking the lead, and he didn't mind that Shiloh was still getting used to this, still new to the whole thing.
So what he wasn't expecting was for Shiloh's arms to wrap around his neck and pull him closer, for him to return the kiss. Ian's stomach gave a little flip, and he tightened his grasp on him, sliding one hand up his back to hold him steady, the other firm around his waist.
When he pulled away, he was slightly breathless, blinking to try and reorient himself back into the moment. Ian leaned his forehead against Shiloh's and smiled.
"Well, that was nice," he said, and then laughter erupted from his lips, Ian hardly able to ignore the rumbling of Shiloh's stomach. He leaned back and grinned.
"I thought I was feeding you," he said innocently, and kissed him again, this one quick and amused, laughter on his lips. Ian stepped a little away, lowering his arms from Shiloh's waist, but one hand slid down the inside of his arm until it reached his hand, Ian interlacing their fingers together.
"Lunch, then," he said, tugging him towards the door -
- but then he paused, turning around to look back.
"Do you, ah..." Ian trailed off, trying to figure out what he was saying. "I know you said you're not used to this - to being with another man, I mean. Do you want to...keep it between us, then? I wouldn't mind if you wanted to keep it just to ourselves, if that makes you more comfortable."
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:56 pm
The shyness was still there, waiting for the most imperfect moment to swoop back in and set everything back to its rightful pace. But for that brief moment, Shiloh kissed Ian, and it wasn't clear to him anymore whether he was doing it to convince Ian, or to convince himself. Either or, Ian didn't seem to mind, his hand fixed against Shiloh's backside, his arm wound around his waist and his lips pressed firmly back against Shiloh’s. Shiloh had never felt more wanted. He smiled back at Ian, an expression that was swept up in another kiss, light and teasing and Shiloh laughed too, as Ian leaned away. “Nice try,” he said, “But there’s no fooling my stomach.” Ian’s hand had found his again, before Shiloh had even realized it was happening, the warmth of Ian’s skin against his becoming more and more familiar. He linked his fingers with Ian’s, and then Ian was headed towards the door, pulling him in tow. “Mmm, delicious MREs, here we come,” Shiloh chuckled, but the cheery face that accompanied the soft sound faded a little at Ian’s question. They stood at the door, and it seemed to be a crossroads, one where Shiloh didn’t know which direction to take. They were giving this an honest shot, but he could he do that without… Admitting it? When it was just the two of them, that was one thing, but to publicly broadcast it, Shiloh wasn’t sure he was ready. Guiltily, he slipped his hand from the fingers twined around it, and nodded his head. He wasn’t ashamed of Ian, not in the slightest. He was ashamed of himself. He stepped next to Ian, and leaned his head against his shoulder, just until they moved again. “I’m sorry… Is that okay?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 7:39 pm
Somehow he'd known the answer before he had even asked the question. For Ian, who had always known what he wanted, had always understood the preferences he liked, it was easy to simply hold hands with whoever he wanted, hug and kiss and cuddle in public when he wanted to. He had never "come out," as the phrase went; he had never needed to. But this was different; this was not the same.
He felt Shiloh's fingers slip from his and Ian gave him a wry smile. Ian's hand reached out, his fingers touching beneath Shiloh's chin, and he tilted his head up so that he could see his face.
"It's okay," he said, and brushed his lips over Shiloh's forehead. "I understand completely."
The gentle smile turned into a full-fledged, teasing grin.
"Just as long as you still let me kiss you in private," Ian said, waggling his eyebrows with amusement. "I think I like that part a lot."
He ruffled Shiloh's hair affectionately.
"Now. Lunch. MREs wait for no man, after all. Or stomach," he added, with a pointed look at Shiloh's.
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 9:12 pm
Shiloh's face was red, for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which was the affectionate kiss Ian had doted on his forehead. He had been honest with Ian, instead of tucking away behind a joke or a smile, and Ian hadn't turned him away, hadn't rebuked him. He'd done just the opposite. Shiloh was so used to trying to mold himself to fit what everyone wanted him or needed him to be, that being knowingly selfish about his own feelings was about as foreign as kissing had been to him before meeting Ian. There were some things he had never stood for, like being treated unfairly, but when it came down to it, even in chastising he'd always been trying to help the other person out, to make them realize what they were doing wrong and to help them feel better. He rarely turned that sort of criticizing gaze on himself, afraid he wouldn't measure up. But to Ian, at least for now, he did, and it meant the world to him. He returned Ian's grin, scrunching up his nose a little as the Mist hunter ruffled his hair. "Yeah, yeah, I guess I can let you do that, since I guess I kind of like it too and all," he said, and nodded at Ian's mention of lunch. He stepped outside the door and into the hallway, waiting for Ian to join him. "Thank-you," he said quietly, once they were both outside.
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 9:40 pm
Ian lifted a hand, pressing a single finger to Shiloh's heated cheek. "You know," he said conversationally. "If you keep blushing like that, you're gonna give everything away."
But he was smiling, and his tone was teasing. He didn't mind keeping this a secret, because was that really what it was? A secret? It wasn't, not really, not if he thought about it. It was more like being cautious, or holding something to themselves that did not belong to anyone else.
Besides, Ian thought, as he stepped out into the hallway, sliding his hands into the pockets of his tan trousers. It wasn't anyone else's business but their own. What they decided to do was of no consequence to anyone else. And there was a part of him, a stupid, selfish part of him, that actually sort of liked keeping Shiloh to himself, rather than share that part with the rest of the world.
He turned his head to the side, his expression gentle.
"You're welcome," he said, and smiled.
After a pause, he said, "You now owe me cookies."
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