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"Ignore what I just said, I said too much" she said as she finished with what she was doing and looked over the large bunch of wild flowers in her arms and looked at the green ones, wondering if she should bother with one last color or not "and you say that now but I don't know you from any other Faun around here" she said as she looked at him "or any other Pae in general for that matter" she said as she walked over to the green and decided to take a few, just encase she needed them to finish the display she was wishing to make in her room "and thank you" she said as silent tears fell from her eyes, thankfully she had her back to him so he couldn't see. "I just feel like it would be the best thing for me" she said, trying to keep as calm as she could and she hated being this way towards him as she did feel like she could trust him but too many bad memories were still surfacing around the front of her mind that she just couldn't shake, she hated to hurt him but the memories still were a little too fresh for her to just forget about them, they were slowly fading a bit but not enough for her to accept that he would be trustworthy toward her let alone accept his friendship.

((Well thats good, at least he does because right now, I even feel like slapping her and telling her to get over it and I am the one who made her this way. XD;;

Yeeeah, I just should of thought this through a bit more. ^^; ))

Lira nodded, having really forgotten about the muffins and now, really just wanted to go home and so she wiped away the tears and got up and nodded "please, that would be good" she said softly as she walked towards him "and thank you" she said as she lent up and kissed his cheek "for today and for being so understanding" she said but looked away a little "but no, it is fine, stranger or not, there is one thing that I am grateful for and that is your company today, you didn't press I just...I just felt..." she couldn't finish the sentence, she wanted to say she felt she could trust him but yet she couldn't either, saying it, even if it was partially true, would be like she was giving in to being vulnerable and she didn't want that.

With all the blushing going on she had turned away as soon as she had done it and started walking back up the path so she had missed it "I...I wish I could truly say the same for me" she said, she was pleased to have met him but still, once again, she couldn't drop her guard and still she felt horrible about it "I do apologize though I can't offer you anything more, I do wish I could but it just wouldn't be good for me, I'm terribly sorry" she said, hoping he wouldn't end up hating her, it was one thing to remain strangers but it was another thing altogether if he ended up resenting her as well, she truly didn't like to upset other Pae even ones she just met a short while ago, hostility between them would be horrible for them both in the long run.

((It is, I will agree, though I am pleased she is like this, it is fun to rp her when she is like this.))

((Yes, yes I do, rather sad when you think abut it, whatever did these adorable Pae ever do to us? They want love, attention, the fine comforts of home (or whatever the island can offer) not have the human that owns them take pleasure in their pain. XD ))

"The thing is, this isn't me..." she said as she bit her bottom lip in thought, wondering if she should continue but decided that, even if it is just the basics, she should at least give him something as to why she is like this "the real me or at least the me that I used to be is not like this, I am out going, fun, love living life, I am a people person, I love others company, I adore spontaneity, animals are my best friends, I care about others" she said in a half happy tone of voice before going back to her using the soft, low monotone-ish voice she had for a while now "but now, I am just a shell of a Faun, those days are gone" she said with a sad sigh. "So no, this isn't me, this isn't the true me, so yes, I do have to apologize, it isn't fair on having you think that this is my real self" she said, deciding that that was enough, whether he believed her or not was up to him but the days when she was that Pae are well and truly gone, there really wasn't a reason to go back there, the last time she was was when she had her family but now...not there just wasn't any reason to be happy again, not truly.

((LOL no, no it isn't, drama always makes for far better rp, oh well, if they ever find this out we just have to be prepared to fight off the angry hordes of Pae. XD

And Lira just shows us how much being charming can do for a guy. XD ))

Lira blushed a little but took a deep breath "kind of you to say but she is no more, as I said, being vulnerable isn't an option, I am sorry" she knew this wasn't exactly what he was looking for but as far as she was concerned that part of her had died, it died a long time ago "maybe, one day, it will live again but I wouldn't place any money on it" she said as she sighed, a part of her couldn't even remember when she was her old self last, she had a vague idea but really, it had been so long that it was now just a blur to her.

((There is a small part of me where I am all "just do the whole Megera (sorta) thing! Just let Lira throw herself at him and go 'take me I'm yours!' But yeeeah, randomness and out of character of wanting to be accepted won't work in this case. XD))

"I am used to it by now, it has been so many seasons that I have sort of lost track of when I was last myself so I don't really need to bother about my old self anymore, it is long gone, in a small way I hope so also but as I said, it has been too long to care about it anymore but thank you all the same" she said as she stopped talking, looking down at the ground as she walked, the thoughts of what happened filling her mind again, the day her best friend died and the other soon after which wasn't good, she didn't want to think about these things and yet there was really no point not thinking about them, to her, if she forgot to think about them, regardless whether they were happy or sad memories, she just felt she would forget them and she couldn't do that to their memory. To forget about them would be unfair and to put that on top of being hurt like she had by that other Pae...she would probably never be her old self again, so as the tears started to silently fall from her eyes once more she just carried on walking, not even caring to try and stop herself, the sooner she got home the better, it was just a bad time to come out, it was true that she had to leave her room sooner or later, she needed the fresh air, but the way she was, it just wasn't good to have decided to come out, she should of left it for a while longer.

((Yeeeah, she is REALLY needing to get over this. XD))

((lol that is true, and interesting Pae are good Pae, though shaking them...I wonder if thats a good stress relief. XD))

Lira looked up and was about to eply to him when she aw him bang into a tree, reaching out and placing a hand upon his shoulder she looked at him to see if he was injury free "are you alright?" She asked, concerned for the poor male, hoping nothing was seriously wrong with him, it is true that he did just hit a tree but she didn't know him, for all she knew he could be like one of those Pae that with even the slightest of bumps something could end up terribly wrong, she knew they were not a common thing but still, he was still a stranger to her technically, she wasn't sure what his health conditions were like.

((Ooo! Yes! And we can go into business! Have it as an item for our Pae! A mini Pae version of the Pae they want to strangle and class it as 'Stress Relief Pae!' It is a tad morbid but meh, many Pae would LOVE them! When they get stressed or pissed off or whatever they can just grab it and squeeze it! They can take it out on a Pae they don't like but not actually hurt the Pae thats been pocket-sized!

May not help in the long run but for short term, it could be perfect! XD

LOL in her normal ways she is the same, she could have a broken leg, fractured pelvis, a broken jaw, her eye bleeding like hell and several broken ribs and can hardly move even a finger but she will find SOME WAY to get up and try and walk it off as if it is no big thing just so the one whos worried sick about her/if she will live to see another day will actually not have to worry about her. I guess, on the plus side, at least shes a fighter...? ^^; ))

Lira turned away and walked on "I don't make promises I can not keep" she said as she looked back at him and smiled softly at him "but I am pleased you are alright" she said as sincerely as her mood could make it which probably wouldn't of sounded as sincere as she would have liked" she said as she dried her eyes and carried on, wondering though if maybe she should just tell him what happened to make her this way, it was true she didn't usually dish out her most personal feelings, thoughts and memories to others but he was being so kind and gracious in all of this, maybe it was the least he deserved since he is putting up with her mood swings so much.