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 Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:32 pm
"Oh uh. Then happy to be of some help.. yes."
It wasn't too often Deryk felt useful as of late. He kept botching up this or that, after all. He let out a sigh inwardly at the thought of a few of those things.
"What you've been doing anyway? Since... the whole.. technically dead thing.. and all.. Can't access too much, right? er.. Don't need to answer if don't want to."
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:37 pm
"Oh that, yeah." He scratched his cheek and shrugged. "After sneaking out of the hospital, I've been staying with Wilson. We dropped by my dorm first, but its locked. I imagine its been packed up as well. After that I've mostly just been staying in doors and napping." Funny how tired he felt after all that. "Though lately I've been getting out a little more, which is why I'm here now."
He could only stay cooped up for so long.
"I don't think there's really anything I can access right now. Cafeteria included. Though I'm sure you got that much figured out, thanks to Kat." He grinned again.
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:40 pm
Deryk frowned at that. They hadn't wasted much time in trying to clean things up had they? It was... a little discerning.
"Hope they didn't throw out all your stuff already..." he said quietly. Then again... with the way they were sent off, it was a huge miracle that they really weren't dead right now.
"Aha.. yeah. Guess Wilson been helping keep you fed then?"
Unless he hadn't eaten since he returned. That... that would really suck. Should he be making a food run right now?
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:45 pm
"I hope not, but then again, it wouldn't be a huge loss even if they did. Its not like I had many personal belongings to begin." A few good books maybe and his clothes, but that was about it.
"Yeah, Wilson's been really helpful. Though I'm just glad that he's alive to be honest. After being cast out, I was worried that Caelius would have had them all executed regardless of the 'second chance.'" It would be just like him too. Give them a little bit of hope and then take it all away again.
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:50 pm
That was right. Wilson was like him. One of the original guys on death row during that whole spiel.
"He's a pretty good guy. Though.. not sure if he told you but.. we aren't entirely off the hook yet. People who vouched for us got a wrist band. If they mess.. injected with some deadly poison... Kinda really messed up.." he murmured, shifting his weight uncomfortably.
"Then again.. lots of things are around here..."
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:05 pm
Ryan could only stare in horror at what he was telling him. "Are you serious?" Wilson hadn't said a thing to him about it, so he thought that they were forgiven and-- "Caelius that b*****d..!" It was one thing to kill someone, but every method he chose was unbelievably cruel.
But of course. What better way to get them to obey?
"I've noticed that." He said bitterly. "Sometimes I wonder which are worse. Them or the 'enemy.'" Maybe Medea was right and Deus wasn't as good as they made themselves out to be. Given all that had happened, he had no reason the believe in them, that was for certain.
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:11 pm
It seemed that Wilson hadn't mentioned it after all, given that reaction Ryan just gave.
"Y-yeah. They still got their weapons and stuff... but super probation. J-just hope they can get that wristband off. Having one of those.. h-has to be nerve wracking.."
As much as he hated it, the idea scared him to death. He wasn't too likely to be disobeying orders again. He would hate himself for some orders, but.. at least he'd be alive... he guessed. As for the comment regarding who was worse, he nodded slowly in agreement.
"I know what you mean.. Always have wondered that myself.. yes. Scared of some of our own more than any of them.."
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:22 pm
"Even if its probation, there are other ways to deliver a message." Apparently Caelius just preferred ones that involved fear and cruelty. Though what else should they expect from a tyrant? Ryan just hoped that nothing would happen and that the bracelets would come off in due time.
"I'm not surprised. Its one thing to respect the higher ups, but..." He dug his heel into the ground. "I don't respect them. I have no reason to respect them. Not when they're acting more barbaric and inhuman than the monsters we're supposed to be fighting."
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:28 pm
To all of that, Deryk just nodded slowly and quietly. He was afraid to really say it outloud himself, but Ryan had points there. Respect... did he respect Caelius? The intermediate wasn't really sure. He just knew that he as scared as all hell of the guy. He supposed it didn't matter if there was that.
"We're stuck listening to them.. chances are that they'll outlive us too.."
He would be surprised if he somehow managed to last longer than Caelius. He wasn't even a fraction as strong as the lead. Or competent for that matter.
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:38 pm
"No doubt." It wouldn't surprise him at all actually if someone like Caelius lived to be eighty or older. "Stuck listening to them though..." He made a sound that was a mixture of annoyance and bitter amusement. "I guess so, since they strike down anyone who disagrees with them." He should know. "We're disposable after all. Easily replaced."
Made him wonder why they didn't invest in something like cyborgs or some other creation that would blindly follow orders. Probably easier to train to.
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:42 pm
There was a bit of silence there. Heaving a sigh, Deryk looked towards Ryan sadly, thinking a bit before speaking up again.
"Do... you ever regret it? Joining this place I mean?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:50 pm
"Sometimes. Recently, a lot." There were a lot of things he had hoped he could change by signing his life over to Deus, but he had yet to do so. "I don't regret my reasons for choosing to join, but I don't know... What they're telling us to do, its not what I signed up for. I didn't sign up to kill. I signed up to protect."
He may have been naive to think he could protect everything, but it was what he fought for and it was the only reason he was here in the first place. He couldn't believe that killing was the only way one could protect.
"What about you? Still think its worth it all?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:56 pm
So Ryan felt similar to the way he did. He too did not sign up to do killings or torture or anything like that. Perhaps he was a little naive to think it would be that simple.
"I don't know anymore... really don't know.." Deryk said quietly, "This wasn't what I signed up for either, no. Wanted to kinda make difference. Help people.. this..."
He shook his head.
"I know I'd be happier if I hadn't.."
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:09 am
"I think we all would have been." He shrugged. "Though happiness wasn't one of my priorities when I signed on for the job." He had actually given up on that notion the day he agreed to join and yet, he didn't expect it to be this miserable either.
"Not quite how they made it out to be, huh?" They certainly left out a great deal of details and it wasn't like there was hunter hand guide to warn them about this stuff either.
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:12 am
"Same.. but.. I didn't think I'd end up being miserable.."
Deryk also didn't think that he'd be pretty useless to the organization either for that matter. Scratching his head, he shook his head to Ryan.
"No. Not quite. But.. we're stuck here. Till we die pretty much."
Sure. He could try fleeing. But then he may end up like Mike. A deranged man... he didn't want to end up like that either.
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