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 Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:16 am
"You do try very hard," Jordan said. He wrapped his hands around his coffee cup, sorting through what Jerry had said and not said. "When did she change? Do you know what might have triggered it?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:19 am
He sniffed, "I have n-no idea. She... she was... was all clammed up even... even before she was captured. W-whatever they did to her just... just compounded it. W-why can't I just... I mean... there's plenty on the island who... who find someone to rely on, you know? Lots of p-people have... have p-perfectly functional relationships. Even as Hunters." His eyes were tear streaked as he glanced up again. "Why not me? W-what did... what did I ever do?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:23 am
Captured. In the Horsemen's lair. Jordan's hands clamped tightly around his mug, and he suppressed a shudder. "If it was anything like what was done to me," he said, keeping his voice under iron control, "they showed her her worst nightmares, over and over. I'm not surprised she withdrew, if that's the case."
He met Jerry's eyes. "Are you worried about her and what she feels? Or are you looking only at how she's not in a relationship with you any more?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:25 am
"She was... was all withdrawn even BEFORE the capture," He insisted, although hearing Jordan's confirmation didn't help matters. "I TRIED to be there for her! I tried to be open, supportive- But she wouldn't talk to me! About it! About what happened! About anything!"
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:27 am
"You tried to be open and supportive, but she didn't want to talk?" Jordan asked. "Did you leave her alone once you knew she didn't want to talk?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:29 am
"I tried that! I... Jordan it's complicated okay?" He was shutting down again, his hands trembling in his lap under the table. "I m-miss her."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:31 am
"What do you mean by I tried that?" Jordan asked. His expression gentled a little as Jerry drew back and tensed. "I know it's complicated," he said quietly. "I'm trying to find a point to start uncomplicating it."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:38 am
"We had a f-fight... some time b-before the last Mission..." He sniffed, turning the flask over in his hands under the table. "She... she told me how... how she thought I was stupid. All my... my musical coping mechanisms were stupid and... and how worthless I was, basically." He reached up to wipe an eye under his glasses, "Then... then when we got back- she hadn't even gone. My...my shoulder was all torn up and... and Roar was gone and I j-just... just wanted to lay quietly and.. and she b-basically jumped in my p-pants! W-what does she WANT from me?? I t-told her no! I said a... a lot of things, I wasn't in a good place and after that... it was just... like I didn't exist any more. I had one more chance and I blew it. I blew it and she's gone forever. And now she's hurt and... and I visited her in the infirmary and... and Wash t-told me to get away, to leave her alone. I j-just wanted to bring her flowers... I just wanted to make sure she was alright, that was all... she... she was my best friend! I thought she was... you know... my soul mate." He deflated at that.
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:46 am
Jordan listened patiently, a small frown furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to interpret the disjointed narrative. "It sounds like she was trying to push you away," he said. "That hurts. You didn't react well, I know. Do you think you might have said anything that could hurt her or scare her after that?" He'd heard about the incident in the labs. It worried him.
He hesitated, then asked, "Were you looking at your soul mate? Or were you looking at a person?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:49 am
He sniffed, brows furrowed as he glanced up, "W-what do you mean? Of c-course I saw her as a person!"
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:53 am
"A person who might change as things happened, or maybe find different goals?" Jordan leaned on the table, watching Jerry. "Soulmate is a pretty scary concept, if you think about it. To say that someone's your soulmate implies you think they're absolutely perfect, and what's more, that they're perfect for you, and that in some way you're destined to be together. That puts a lot of pressure on someone, takes away their control over themself."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:01 pm
"People change," He grunted, eyes distant as he shook his head, "But... but when someone you love is going down a dangerous path, you want to help them don't you?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:02 pm
"Always," Jordan said quietly. "But you can't force them to take that help, and pushing it on them too forcefully can make things worse than not trying at all."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:03 pm
A tight noise escaped Jerry's throat as he huddled over his barely eaten dinner, a look of physical pain on his face.
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:06 pm
"I'm sorry," Jordan said, a look of answering pain crossing his face. "But dude, you have to let go. It's eating you up and twisting you inside out and making you into someone else. You can't make her take you back. Even if you could, would you want to?"
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