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 Posted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 10:00 pm
Reminder((After Repetition))
You know I can't. I'm-
...
I KNOW, I know... just...
... Yes.
<... I don't understand you. Just know this. You owe her the truth sooner or later, and I hope whatever her response is, you can accept it.>
Wait!
---------------------
He sat up abruptly, sweat dripping down his face. The room was heavily saturated with the smell of cinnamon and cloves, as well as a faint smoky smell. It seemed he had fallen asleep not long after he had lit the candle, and had been asleep for quite some time, as it was merely a puddle of wax now, the tip still smoldering slightly.
With a groan, he ran his fingers through his hair, head aching slightly. Why did he even burn that stupid candle in the first place? His other hand rubbed against something smooth, and he looked down to see it placed on a page. Had he fallen asleep reading? Why was he reading this garbage anyways?
A particular passage caught his eye, and he moved his hand, scanning over it, and groaned.
"For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth."
"The truth shall set you free", huh...
He lowered his head, necklace making a "tink" sound as it hit the table, and he closed his eyes, resting his chin on the table top.
Catherine. Chester. Are you telling me I should re-think this?
There was a sigh, but it was only his own. Other than the sound of his own breathing, the room was silent and dark, and he wished it hadn't been a dream. Why were they encouraging him? Wasn't one death enough? He knew in a sense, it wasn't fair to Sherry, but... would he really be able to make her happy? Was she truly happy when she was with him? Or was it because HE was selfish, not wanting to lose something or someone close to him because he lacked the strength to protect it? Was it because he didn't want to get hurt again, and because of that, he decided to hurt her instead?
I'm a self-centered coward, aren't I?
He shifted, pushing away from the table to stretch out his aching back, and looked around. After that nap, he couldn't go back to sleep, and his dreams would probably only consist of Chester scolding him. Perhaps he should try piecing together more of his past. It wasn't something he thoroughly enjoyed, but maybe it could help him find some answers. Except...
Reaching for the bible, he picked it up, thumbing through the pages again. The only thing left of his past was this book and his necklace. There wasn't anything he could ask, and aside from the message and photo in the front, there weren't any other meaningful inscriptions in it, other than the crude comments he had written on some of the pages, perhaps during the times Catherine had forced him to read some of them and take notes. Even the pages themselves were-
One of the edges of the pages bit into his finger, and he winced as blood began to well up from the cut.
Scoffing, he began to brush his thumb over the cut to get rid of the blood, but all it did was smear it on his other finger, and he paused, staring. He took his other hand, and squeezed the cut, pushing out more blood from the wound until it trickled down his finger, a drop falling onto the table surface. His eyes widened as a memory surfaced, and not only were his hands covered in blood, but his clothes, his face. The weapon in his hand dripped of the crimson liquid, and the ground and wall around him was splattered with it.
He was panting heavily, blade dripping of the liquid surrounding him.
They deserved what they had coming to them.
He was panting heavily, blade dripping of the liquid surrounding him.
The memory made him reel, and his hand shot out, trying to steady himself. One hand grabbed the table edge, and his other swept across the table top, knocking stuff over as he managed to use the weight of his arm to prevent himself from falling over. Panting, he pushed himself up, and sighed. Just how messed up was his past?
With another sigh, he shook his head, and moved off the chair, kneeling down to pick up the stuff he had knocked over, which consisted of the book, several blank mission reports, and...
Puzzled, he picked up the letter, noticing that the handwriting wasn't his own
This was...
"You really don't get it. Think about it. After everything. Everything, and I'm still standing here telling you that I like you."
Staring at it a moment longer, he grit his teeth, crumpled it up, and threw it against the wall.
Why... why did she have to tell him that? Why did she have to be so kind? Why did Chester have to tell her? Why... why...
He made a fist, and pounded the ground. Once. Twice.
Even when his hand hurt, even when it was to the point he could no longer feel the pain, he continued, fighting back the tears beginning to form.
WHY?!
Why... did you have to fall in love with someone like me?
Find happiness before it's too late? Hadn't he been doing that before? And what had it led to? Why did SHE have to be the one to make him happy?
Pushing himself against the bed, he drew his knees up to his chest, burying his head in them as his hands clutched his head and he began to shudder. It was already too late. Too late for to go back, too late for redemption, and yet...
He slowly tensed, arms wrapping around his knees, and stayed in that position for several minutes before he finally relaxed, arms dropping to his side as he stared at the ground, tired and exhausted.
... I promise. If I make it through this alive and get you back, I'll tell her everything.
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:45 pm
Recollection((Takes place after promo and before Sensitivity training))Part of him wondered if he should have reported in to Caelius, but with everything, he only assumed the death lead would know he hadn't screwed up... again. Regardless, he'd probably have to fill out a mission report later anyways.
With a sigh, he opened the door to his room, closed it, and slumped against the door.
"How did you..."
Jake let out a soft chuckle, and shook his head.
After all the time he had spent without a voice in his head, he couldn't believe how much he had missed it. And no matter what, it seemed Chester always knew exactly what was going on.
... that's right. Weapons shared senses with the hunter, but Chester had been asleep all that time. There were bound to be some gaps in his memory.
"What do you remember?"
Jake thought back to the time the whole island had suffered memory loss, and could have sworn that at the very end, he had heard Chester's voice. And then there was also that time...
"Why couldn't I hear you?"
"I..."
Jake slid down to the ground, suddenly feeling exhausted and weary.
"I guess... part of me doubted. I was afraid that everything I was doing wouldn't lead to anything. Mark told me that I had to keep training, had to keep myself exposed to fear and such, so I tried. I went on some HH patrols, did some spars, and titan hunts and, just... I was never sure if it was enough. And I... I tried calling to you, but you never responded, and I just-"
Chester sighed, murmuring softly, which kind of felt like the equivalent of a mental head pat.
No... it's my fault. I'm sorry.
<...>
There was silence for a few moments.
<...I'll admit it was your fault for getting reckless, but that's now in the past, and you know I've never blamed you for that
"I know..."
"..."
"Do you... not remember her?"
Jake paused, wondering if perhaps Chester shared the same memories as him. Considering he had ended up forgetting about Sherry, maybe it had affected Chester's memories also.
"Is there anything else you can't remember?"
"... that's my fault."
"I... I chose to forget her"
It seemed Chester had a lot of questions, and, well, he couldn't blame him. The nergal could sense that Sherry had played a big part in helping him out, and yet...
"..."
<... again.>
"... I know, I'm an idiot."
Though it wasn't voiced, Jake could hear the silent "why". Why did he keep hurting someone who had went out of her way to help him over and over again, and even after he had hurt her, made it clear he was just "using" her, she still...
"I wish she didn't."
"I KNOW. I'm self-centered, selfish, inconsiderate-"
"..."
<...But you can't keep doing this. You can't keep running away from her. You have to let her know.>
"You... remember?"
"Do you remember... her?"
Slowly pushing himself up, he made his way to the table and flipped open a book, showing a familiar photograph.
<...Is she the reason why you can't return Sherry's feelings?>
"I... guess. In some sense."
<... Jake.>
Jake sensed disapproval in Chester's voice, and he sighed, knowing he owed the nergal a full and complete explanation.
"I know. I promise to tell you AND Sherry everything. I won't keep it a secret anymore."
There was another moment of silence, as if Chester was considering the offer.
<... Alright.>
Another pause.
<... you know you've been talking out loud this whole time, right?>
I know.
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Posted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:05 pm
Promise((Takes place after Apologies))Jake returned to his room, and closed the door with a sigh. Though things didn't turn out as bad as he thought it had, it still wasn't as well as he hoped for. Still, it was his fault. He should have been thankful she was willing to give him a chance.
A rustling sound made him turn his head, and he frowned.
"Chester."
The nergal blinked, having been staring at the hunter since he came in, and placed the papers he had been straightening back on the table.
"So? How'd it go?"
"Fine, no thanks to you."
He continued glaring at his weapon, folding his arms.
"What the hell did you say to her?"
Unphased, Chester only tilted his head, a puzzled expression on his face.
"Whatever do you mean?"
"Don't ******** with me, she was pretty upset when I saw her."
"Was that not your own doing?"
"You made it WORSE."
"Did I?"
It infuriated him to see that Chester was not even the least bothered at all about what had happened. Surely he said something that made her upset, and he wanted to know what.
"What I said," the nergal started, seeming to read his mind, "was that perhaps the things you've said weren't entirely true. She seemed rather set on the fact that you only keep her around because it's convenient, and that you've never returned her feelings."
"I..."
Had she been upset because Chester was trying to tell her he wanted to be sincere, despite his actions pretty much saying the opposite? He imagined the nergal trying to convince her, and only having it upset her even more.
"... sorry."
They remained quiet for several minutes, Jake shifting uncomfortably as he tried to think of a way to change the subject.
"Um, so, did you pack everything?"
"Yes, no thanks to you."
One look around would show that there were several boxes (or, well, more like two), each with a label on what it contained. The bed was tidied, as well as everything on the desk. He had a sneaking suspicion Chester had been going through his mission reports just a moment ago.
"Where'd you get the boxes?"
"I asked around. Look."
The weapon walked towards one of the boxes, opening it to pull out a familiar striped sweater.
"I found the tail, and sewed it back on."
Jake stared at it with dismay. Even the mask was back on.
"WHY."
And then he caught the look in Chester's eye.
"I'M NOT MAKING ANY MORE BETS WITH YOU DAMMIT."
"I bet you're going to end up making her cry again."
Jake frowned.
"I won't."
"What makes you say that?"
"I've changed."
"How?"
He opened his mouth to object, but then closed it. How DID he change? What changed? He thought back to his conversation with Sherry, how she had doubted him when he told her this. He had pushed her away because he was scared, because he didn't want to get hurt himself. Because he didn't want her getting hurt because of him. And yet, he still ended up hurting her. Breaking her. He told her he wanted to try again, wanted to try loving, and though she was broken inside, she still tried. The pieces were slowly healing, and she started to trust and then he...
What changed?
Was it because she almost died? Because she had almost died BECAUSE of him? Maybe if he didn't ask her to come along, she wouldn't have had to suffer, wouldn't have had to end up in the infirmary. As if that wasn't enough, he had the gall to ask her to come to a SENSITIVITY meeting, which he suspected was because of his behaviour towards her. And even there, she got hurt AGAIN. He was selfish enough to push her away, yet not selfless enough to keep away. Push and pull. Had it been him, surely he would have been fed up by now, and yet, whenever he needed her, she never said no, even after she knew what a horrible person he was.
Slumping down on the floor, he groaned, burying his face in his hands.
"I know, I'm an idiot. A self-centered jerk. A fool. All I've done is hurt her, and use her, and yet, she still likes me. I don't know if it's persistence or just plain stupidity, but... I'm glad she didn't leave. I... even now, I don't know what I want. I'm still scared that she'll get hurt because of me, but I don't want to push her away anymore. I can't. I want to protect her, keep her safe. I want to be there for her when she needs me, but... I know I'm not reliable. I've done so many stupid things in the past, got so many hurt because of me. I'm reckless, rash, arrogant, stubborn, and at times I wonder how or why anyone still puts up with me. Part of me wonders how I haven't already died after all the things I've gotten myself into. But all I know is... I want to make things change. I want to make her happy again. She's done so much for me, and I... I just want to make things right again."
"And you will."
Jake felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Chester kneeling down, smiling at him.
"I PROMISE you I won't make her cry again."
"And if you do?"
"I won't."
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:57 pm
LostDo you believe in second chances?
I don't.
Do you believe in the afterlife?
I don't.
What do you believe then?
I don't.
-----------------
<...Jake??>
"..."
The teal-haired hunter jerked his head up.
What is it?
Huh? Oh...
He looked down at the open journal in front of him.
Had it really been an hour?
His hand felt cramped and he dropped the pen he was holding to flex it. What time was it...
No, it's fine, I'm just...
He closed his eyes and sighed.
A journal, huh...
In the past he would have rejected such a useless notion. Mission reports were useless. Documenting thoughts? They were HUNTERS for crying out loud. They put their lives on the line day in and day out. Who would find time to take up such a menial task...
Sherry would keep one. That was what Chester had told him, and honestly...
Well... to be honest, he had to admit he had changed a lot over the years. He couldn't even remember when he last saw her.
Things had gotten hectic, and then he got assigned a mission off-post.
It had probably taken a good year or two, and he had just gotten back tonight. She probably didn't even know he was back yet, and after the one-year silence... maybe... she had forgotten. Moved on? He wouldn't blame her.
After all, he hadn't contacted her all this time. He knew he should have, but a hunter's life....
It was a blessing to see the next day, and with his track record....
A soft chuckle escaped his lips.
I'm fine. Just a little tired.
If it hadn't been for Chester, he probably would have given up long ago.
Despite how he treated the nergal, his partner never gave up.
Even when he could no longer see the good in himself, Chester somehow managed to see it.
Even after the time his recklessness had almost cost Chester his life, and he supposed his own life by extension, he was never hated.
It almost seemed like he didn't even remember.
I just don't understand how you can be so forgiving. If I had been more rational, if I had just...
Jake placed his hands over his eyes, letting out another tired laugh.
You're amazing, you know.
<... you must be really tired if you're praising me.>
No. I mean it. Everyone hated me. To be honest I should have died a long time ago. And yet... you never gave up. You saw what little good there was in me, and kept pursuing it. No matter how much I hurt you, you never... held it against me. I just can't find it in myself to do that.
Jake frowned.
Forgive... wouldn't really be the right word here. To be honest after all the s**t I've been through, something from my childhood is honestly the least of my worries.
What?
Chester remained silent, and Jake sighed.
This... this was a gift. It was...
Even now, he could still remember her face.
She told him to forgive. And he supposed now... he finally did.
Of course. She... she shouldn't have died. Not for my sake.
If only I was stronger, I could have-
Chester's stern tone startled him.
How can she? She's DEAD.
I...
He didn't need to remember.
He didn't WANT to remember.
She died... with a smile on her face.
She had forgiven the people who had cost her her life in a heartbeat, when he himself had struggled with it for years.
I don't deserve her.
I still don't know what she saw in me. I don't know why she persisted. I just...
... no. If she somehow still wishes to be with me, so be it. But I will not stop her if she wishes to move on. And to be honest? I wish she would. There are tons of people better than me. Why would she settle for someone like me?
But why? I... I don't even love myself.
He closed his eyes again.
This is... all too much.
He let out a tired sigh and tilted his head back, covering his face with his hands.
... fine.
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 11:30 pm
FaithAs he had thought, it was... going to take a while to get used to being back on base.
He had spent the last night tossing and turning, and despite being exhausted as ********, he hadn't been able to sleep at all.
If he didn't fix this, he'd be absolutely useless when missions were a thing again.
Or well, mandatory missions. Considering how out of the loop he was, perhaps he should get back into the training courses again...
God I'm so tired...
Chester had stayed uncharacteristically quiet most of the day, which was... well, he supposed that would be considered normal, considering the nergal didn't really talk much anyways, but with how chatty he was last night, it was a little odd.
As if in response, Jake felt something that would probably be the equivalent of Chester shifting in his mind.
Something on your mind?
<...>
It was... odd.
The moment the two bonded, it seemed like Chester was able to read his every thought.
Of course it didn't help that... he was thinking out loud most of the time, and if his thoughts had a voice, they'd be pretty damn loud.
But Chester on the other hand... it was near impossible to figure out what was on his mind.
In the past it irked Jake to no end, but now... he couldn't help but be curious.
...Chester?
<...>
Jake sighed.
Well, if you don't want to talk, that's fine. I'm just... a little worried. Is everything... alright?
<...huh? Oh, nono, everything's fine. I'm just...>
Jake tensed, and as he thought, Chester sensed it.
Oh?
Despite not being able to see him, Jake could almost picture Chester squirming uncomfortably. Through the years the nergal had been polite about not prying into Jake's private life should the hunter not wish to share, but that didn't mean he wasn't curious. Without even speaking Jake already had a hunch what Chester wanted to know, and couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"Oh my god after all these years and you're still this formal,"
Chester's reaction only made Jake laugh even harder.
EVEN NOW he could already imagine the nergal's face beet red from embarrassment, which was... kinda impossible because... well, he wasn't even sure what shade his face would turn.
From what he remembered of Chester's golem, they were literally... empty shells. Husks of what the student had been. Considering there was no blood running through it (kinda horrific to think if there was...), if Chester "blushed" his face wouldn't have changed colour anyways. But he DID remember that his eyes and teeth had glowed a bright green, as well as his tail and... markings?? It had been a while, and after the uh... "accident", he was sure Chester underwent some changes too, but considering the nergal hadn't been in a golem since (or had he??), he wouldn't know.
His blood was probably green too, so if he blushed, his face would turn green. Which was... hilarious.
Jake almost fell of his chair howling with laughter.
Oh god it hurt to laugh but also felt... so good. When was the last time he laughed this hard?
Chester. It's fine. Just ask.
No.
Jake sighed.
Like I said, this was... a gift.
Also a gift.
Jake sensed Chester's unease.
I'm sure you know by now but, she... well... she was a good person. I never really believed in God and what not, but she... I guess she made it look... good? Whatever that meant...
He could sense Chester nodding.
If you really must know... she was Catholic. She truly deeply believed in the good of this world. Even when I couldn't see it, she could somehow miraculously see all the good in, well, everything. It was a miracle we even met. A street urchin like me and a good wholesome woman like her... we live in two completely different worlds.
Hmm?
Ah.
Jake closed his eyes, as if reminiscing about something.
blue dendrobium orchids
They were her favourite flowers.
<... that's why you dyed your hair blue??>
I guess.
You already know the reason to that.
His eyes shifted to a pair of contacts on the table, the red a glaring contrast to everything around him.
Because... it's a reminder of that deadbeat father of mine who left me for dead. And also...
His hand gingerly touched his left eye. He didn't even need to look in a mirror to know that the brilliant blue of it was turning muddy. He was slowly losing his vision. Not even Sherry knew, which was why...
Honestly, it was a miracle he had not outright lost his eye that day, but, well... nothing was perfect. Any day now he would completely lose sight in that eye, and a one-eyed hunter was pretty useless.
He was self-destructive enough as is, and if Caelius knew he could no longer see with his left eye...
Ha, thanks, but I don't feel like giving a reason for people to pick on me. Nor do I want pity. If I'm treated as an outcast because of my strange personal choices, so be it.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 8:43 am
HopeDo you have any dreams for the future?
No.
Really? You haven't ever thought about what you wanted to do when you grow up?
You assume I'll actually live to see my 20th birthday.
Of course! Jake! Just because you had a bad childhood doesn't mean you can't look towards a brighter future~
If this was my "childhood" I wish I died when I was born.
Jake!!
I'm...
Jake placed a hand over his forehead.
This dream again...
He honestly didn't understand why that woman kept probing him. He had no desire to do anything, and considering how shitty his life had been, even HOPING was too much of a luxury for him. He was always destined to fight, and even now...
He sighed.
He was... 22 this year. So he supposed he did live to see his 20th birthday.
But birthdays... meant nothing. If anything, it was just a painful reminder of being one year closer to dying. Especially so with this kind of life. There was a reason you didn't see old men and women running around with weapons. They'd literally be walking targets for the s**t they dealt with.
Granted, he admitted he was... pretty young compared to some of the other hunters when he joined, but weren't some even younger? Like Gale...
He had no idea how old that guy was, but... well, maybe they were... actually close to the same age? Which was... weird considering how much of a kid the hunter seemed like, but even now, Gale was a mentor in his eyes, and... he supposed he too was a mentor to some of the newer/younger hunters which kind of scared him because he was in no shape or form ready to bear the responsibility of a leader.
I don't believe in false hope. You've seen the life I've lived until now. I do not wish to be responsible for another life other than my own, because let's be honest. I can't even get my OWN s**t together.
...
Well, he supposed he wasn't as suicidal as he was before, nor as... angry? To be honest, most of the time he was just tired now. Tired of expectations. Tired of failing. Tired of... life.
But that didn't mean he would give up. A lot of times he truly did wish to, but... he couldn't. Not when doing so would cost another life, and Chester deserved better. Even now he didn't think he deserved someone like him. Someone so patient, so understanding, so...
...
The nergal didn't need to say anything more. Jake already knew.
The fact that he WILLINGLY gave up his life to become a weapon already spoke volumes.
Yes, Chester desired power, but not just any sort of power. He sought the power to protect.
Halloween students couldn't die after all. A life that most if not all humans could merely dream of.
Honestly, he didn't know why. Being immortal was absolute s**t. Well, he supposed eternal youth and immortality usually went hand-in-hand, but... that was not a life he wanted. Rather than a dream, it sounded more like an endless nightmare.
But is this any better? You're treated as a tool. A mere killing weapon. Depending on who you bonded with, your life could have been even worse.
Well... it wasn't like either of them really had a say. Weapon bonding was beyond him. But... he was grateful to have met Chester too.
If he had been bonded to someone with a similar mindset to him...
I... suppose.
He placed his head down on his desk.
The journal from two nights ago was still open and blank. Just like his life.
No. I swear to god I'll get at least ONE entry in if it's the last thing I do.
Why was it so goddamn hard to write a few words?
If he could do mission reports, he could handle writing a journal, goddamit!!
...
Even now, he didn't dare mention those two words, let alone think it.
The last thing he needed/wanted was Solia busting down his door and giving him s**t about mission reports
Just the mere thought sent shivers down his spine.
As if to confirm his suspicions wouldn't come true, he took a quick glance at the door, making sure he locked it.
She didn't... have a key to his room, did she? Hopefully not, but considering this was Death division he wouldn't put it beyond her to have stolen his key and made a copy of it when he wasn't looking.
Which was why the first thing he did when he came back was change his lock.
Even now... not even Sherry could get in, as the only key that worked was Chester's totem form.
That was... that was necessary ok? I'm not gonna use you to get into other people's rooms. I'm not that kind of person.
<... ok, I'll trust you.>
It was an off-handed comment, but somehow he felt extremely grateful for those 3 words.
"I trust you".
Trust was not something that came easily, and considering he had been betrayed over and over again by the very people he "trusted", he did not use those words lightly, but...
Even after all the s**t I've put you through?
Immense guilt washed over him, and he placed his hands over his eyes. Even if he wanted to hide it, he could not. Chester knew. He always knew.
His shoulders heaved, body shaking with silent sobs.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, so so sorry...
<...>
Thank you... so much for trusting me. For not... giving up on me. Thank you...
Thank you...
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:50 pm
Love (part 1) tw: TRIGGERS EVERYWHERE IDEK PREPARE URSELF
I really love you, you know.
Stop that.
No, I mean it! Why can't you accept my love?
Because it's gross and that's *****. I thought you should understand this, considering you're all holy and all.
I'm only human, Jake. And it's NOT gross. Since you know what form of love I'm talking about.
That's still gross. Aren't you, like, a s**t ton older than me, woman?
Only a few years. Stop calling me woman!! Or I'll call you kid!
...
Ugh, Jake! Well, I'll use this to teach you the different forms of love. And no groaning!
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Goodness, Jake, you make it sound like torture. Anyways, this will be a good lesson!! I'm sure you're already familiar with the erotic form of love, also known as Eros. Named after well, the god of love. Which is NOT the kind of love I was talking about, sheesh!
Then there's filial, or philial. Philia? Anyways! This is also another form of love! Not as... intense as eros, but more of... a friendly love? Deep friendship. THIS was the kind I was talking about, Jake! Family love! Because you are like a dear little brother to me.
That is so ******** gross stop. I'M NOT A KID!
Well then, stop acting like one!
ANYWAYS, to continue, there's agape love. The most absolute, ultimate, perfect form of love. God's love for us is unconditional, unlimited, everlasting...
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son..."
That's so ******** messed up though. Sacrificing your own kid? What a shitty father.
You're missing the point, Jake. Don't you know the holy trinity?
Nope. Don't know, don't care.
Well, they're all one and the same. The father, son and holy spirit. So by sending his son, I guess it's like sending a version of himself.
I still say he's a shitty father.
... well, unconditional love. It's a form of love that you don't expect anything in return. You love and love, because you want to, and I guess.. in a way, I love you not only as a brother, but... should it come to it, I will always love you. If I could give up my life to save you from all the despair you've lived until now, I would gladly give it up in a heartbeat.
I wish to save you, Jake.
I love you.
------------
Ngh...
It was quite evident the lack of sleep was getting to Jake, but after 3 nights in a row with little to no sleep and being plagued by nightmares, it was... very evident it was taking its toll on the young hunter.
...
She... she...
She said she loved him. She said she'd always be there for him. She would protect him. So why would she die? Did she not love him anymore? Why would she leave him alone? Didn't she know she meant the world to him? When she died it had plunged him into a world of darkness. He had lost the reason to live. SHE was his reason to live. So why... why?? WHY WAS HE STILL HERE. WHY WAS HE STILL ALIVE
No.
<...no?>
No.
N͈͂O̜̘͎ͧ͊͡
N̥͎̮̟̘̺̥̯̞̲̱̤̦̓͌̊̄̎̊ͨ͑ͤ̔ͥ͊̅ͥ̆̂ͮ͗̂̀̀͘͝͠O̡͆̊̃̃ͦ́̌ͮ̑́͏̦̹͖̬̤͕̭͠
Hands clutching his head, his breathing was ragged.
No, it wasn't the same. Sherry. Catherine. The two were vastly different. And yet, why, why....
Why was it that the one he ended up forgetting was Sherry, when it was supposed to be Catherine?
It was because Sherry wasn't good enough.
The one he needed was Catherine. The one he truly needed was Catherine.
S̓ͩ̀ͤ̓̚h̥͈̺ͭ̏̓ͧe̲r̖̝̺̙̦͙̐̿͒̐ͅr̦̺͎͇̲̼̈͌ͥͪͤy̘͇̦̙͑͐̾̄͂ͤ̏ ̨̭̺̤͙̲͔̽w͖̒͒o͎̼̻̤̰̝̬͝u͔̗̺͇̞͕ͩͩ̄ͥͯ̾l͋ͩͬ̂̓̇̄͏̻d͖̳̭͎̘̫ͤͨ̃̔͗̃ ̩̬͖͚̯̙͊̈́͊̚n͔̜̑ͮͪ̊ͤe̩̣̦̝̠̣̞̓̃͋̽ͮ̾ve̼̦̟͎͕͇ͯ̎͠r̻̓̿͊͐͛ͥ̊ ͉ͮ̀͑̊ͬ͠ͅb̷̜̺͓̫͖͈́̒̈͋ę̣͎͍̫͍̄̂͋̏ ̲̥ͥ̍̍̿ͣ͜à̜̗̫̤͇̤͙ͩͤb̛͚͙͎̠͔l̰͚e̸͍͔̎̋ ̸̮͖̗̭̥͒ͭ͑͒̍t͔̲ͬ͗͒͑̍o̬̜̮ͮͭͭͮ͊ ̼̣͉ͯ̓̑̿ṟͯ͊͌ͬ̌e͒̿̈́̑̉̇͏͉̠͇̘̼̗p̗̘̜̳ͥ͆̐͞l̞͉͂ả̡͖̘̮͙̄ͩ̅͌̊ͅc̫̟̻͈̙ͮ͜e̹̣ͨ͌̒̽ͭ̓́ͅ ͯͪ̊̐̈́h̛̗͙̘̲̳̰͂ͨ͗̈́̽̍ͫe̟͉̯ŗ̹̬̗͇̬̄ͥ.̓̀̅̆ͧ̊҉̟͍͙
Of course. It finally made sense. Sherry pitied him just like Catherine did. He was defenseless. Helpless. Useless.
Catherine threw away her life because he wasn't strong enough to protect her. If he didn't change, the same would happen to Sherry too.
No. He would protect her. He would make sure she never threw away her life to protect him.
No.
H̘͕̰͊ͬͯe ͆ͣͥ̓ͫŵ̖̖̺̰̘̈́̂oͤ͒͑ͧu̜͎̱̱̯̅ͤ̄̋ͣl͉̜͍̻̰̎ͦ͋͊͂̎̓d͛̊̒ ̼̘̜̭͌d͇̮̈ͬͧ̓ͦ͊e͇̫̟̩͌͑̄͛͋s̰̩̞͇̦͙̎̑t̲̘͕̯͙͎r̭͍͈̠̽̊̄̐ö͍̦̹͌y̹̳̰͉̫ͅ ̯ͯ͆̌̾h͔̬̤̅ͬ͒ͩ͂̑i̼̤̭͍̰̿̈͊̊ͥͅm̮̗̰̣̳ͬs̳̣̓̇̊ͩẽ̥̯̱̍ͦ̍̎̔͋l̑͋̇ͪf̋ͦͧ ͇͖͒̌͛̇̀̂̄f͐i̳̹̯͉ͪ̾͋̌͐͗͗r͙̺̮͔ͬͨ̆̾͒s͉͈̼̋t̜͎͓͛͑̓.̥̂
Chester didn't like where Jake's thoughts were heading. Nor did he appreciate that glazed, dead look in the hunter's eyes.
If the nergal still drew blood through his veins, it would have went cold the moment he saw Jake pull out his artifact.
Close your eyes.
Everything went dark.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 11:14 pm
Love (part 2) tw: TRIGGERS EVERYWHERE IDEK PREPARE URSELF
Choose.
W-what?
C̪̍͐ͫͫ́͝ͅḨ̛̗͔̎ͬ͛́̕O̡̳̮̥͙̠̯͂̓̆̇ͪ̍͗ͣ̍O̶̻͕̙̳̠̬̐͌̌ͬṠ̢͙̱͉̺̥̱̕ͅẼ̢̧͙͙̠̮̺͔͕̎́͞.̷̺̩̥̮͇̤̯̄̍̃ͬ̌̀
W-wait, can't you-
C̸͉̪̺̙̥͇̼͉̲͈͙̼͕͙̝͉̪̝̈́́̇ͨ̎̅̒͑͂͌̾́̀͜ͅH̵̷͓̖̖͈ͣ͊̇͞O̴̸̤̭̬̠̳̲͓͚͈̮̺̅̔̄̈́ͩ̓ͮ͗͗ͯƠ̵̭͔̗͕͔̰̼̦ͭ̇ͪ̇ͧ̀̾̋ͨ͋͊ͪ̽͢S̳̬͇͎̝͍̤͙̻̺̝̺̲͖̭͎͍̑͒̿͆ͮ̓̒̌̂͋̓͑ͩ͊͢͠E͖̰̜͈͇̺̗ͥ͋ͦ͒ͪ̕͜͞.̵̣̠͇̓̋ͫͫͨ̂̓ͦ͗̓͢͢ ̶̫͈̱̟͕͖̺̭̝͋̾̐̑̄̒͂͊͡Ņ̸̷̯̟̬̻̙͕̩̙͎̰̖̘̩ͭͤͥ̾̒͆̈́̎̌̇̌̄̈ͤ̅͋ͪ͊̀́ͅǑͦ̽̄ͩ̎̈́̃̓͗ͤͭ̀̀҉̝͎̱̥̯̗̭̪̻̀Ẁ̷̙̼̲̭̰̲̞̭͈͗̿̑̏ͣͫ̚͜.͌ͯ͌̂ͤ́͒̇ͭ͏̢̠̗͓̗͇͔̘͙̲͚̱̮̭̬͘͢͠
Jake flinched. T-that voice...
C-Chester??!
The voice remained silent, but somehow he could tell it was still there.
What... what the hell was...
Jake closed his eyes, racking his brain.
What the ******** happened before he-
....
..
s**t, no, he was...
he wasn't....
but then...
The last thing he remembered was a pounding headache, and feeling weak, useless, trash.
He HATED the feeling. He didn't want to feel that way, and so he-
Heart skipping a beat, he lifted up his hands.
There were... no marks on his wrist.
He then looked down at his chest.
No blood. Nothing. Stomach? Nothing.
Nothing... happened??
He touched his face gingerly, and then brushed his fingers against his neck.
No scars. No blood.
He did not... harm himself.
So what had.
A high-pitched screeching sound echoed through his mind, making Jake shudder and clamp his hands over his ears.
Oh god, this ear-splitting sound. He, he...
He had heard it before.
But w-whe
A memory flashed through his mind. A memory far in the past.
A young boy no older than eight was on the ground, panting.
Blood spilled from his left eye and arms, a terrified expression on the child's face.
Before him was... was...
No... no, it couldn't be, NO!
Chester, please, tell me it ain't so!!
<...>
No, it wasn't, it couldn't... I hadn't met you then. It couldn't have been you. PLEASE. TELL ME. SAY SOMETHING. ANYTHING!!!
...
Jake's chest heaved, and if he literally had nothing to eat the past few days, he probably would have thrown up whatever it was in his stomach.
s**t, s**t, this isn't real. It's just a nightmare, yah, it's not, it's...
He clamped a hand over his mouth as his body tried to dry heave to cope with the stress, the reaction sending his entire frame into spasms.
No no no no no please tell me this ain't true. No. NO!
I͈̳͚̦̎f̪͇̾ͤ̒̀͋̈́ ̮̣͈̦̥̮̣ͧ̎̓͑̚i̴t̼̻ͩ̑ ̵̹̘͚̐w̸̬̥͙̦̫̬̑eͤr̲͎̱͕̖̣é͈̤̠ͨ͢nͨ͐ͦ͊'͙͍̩͚͕͕ͮ͋́̀ͅt̛̙̘͓̥͔̻͔ͨ̄ͩ̉͐̅̚ ̶̺͉͍͐̆ͦ̃f̰̙̳ͦͣ̽̎̀̑ǒ̝̳͔̝͈͎ͭ̿̄͟r̾́ ̼̂th̖͌̓́̂̂a̟̯̋ͅt̗͞ ̬̺̜͇ͤ̉ͭ͑̂̆"͇̹̙͎̭̣ͨ͑ḭ͍̙̅͆̄͆ͦ̿n̶̗̦̫͈̆͂c̰̖ͪ͂͘i̠͉̘̯͓̞͈̋̈́̎͆ͯ̅d̟̔ͤ̀̋ͭͣ̚e̴͕̬̥n̜͉͟tͯ͌ͯ̿ͨ̀"̨̻ͪ̿ͣͤ,͍͕͚̪͚̘ͧ̃́͑ ̘̺̠̥̏́ͧ̂yͫͦ̓́ͨ͏͚̘̼͈ȯ̪̺̳̠͆̂̓̎ͤ͜ȕ͓͔͔̦̮̮̅̌̇̃̎̓́ ̬͈͚͗̊͂̉̕w̄ͪo̙̼̜̳u̪͙͖̠̣̠̽́̍͊ͭ͊l͔̺̟̹̰̟̘̿ͩͧ̌̋ͯ̃͝d̰̙̹̂ͬ͡ ͭ͑̏ṋͬ̆̌̏o͙͓͈͈̣̙̪̾ͧ̆̀t̖̥̩͉̩̞̓̏ͭͨ̉ͯͥ ͙̜̥̺̩̈̑̈́͑ͫ͊̓h̫̮͚̫̙ͫ͛̈́͛ͯaͪͣ̆̃̓͆͏̹̪v̓́ͯ͂̒͗e̢̙̖̺ ̷̳͙͈̿ͩ͊ͩ̅m̬̏ĕ̝̼̒ͫtͫ̾̄ͭ̎͟ ̟ẖ̣̻̅ͮ͑̍̓ͦ͢e̜̜̠̱̗̯̺͒̏̄r̳͚͖̞̓ͧ̒͆.̃ͦ͏̟͉
C-Catherine?
Y̝̼͔̤͔͓͍͛̍̈ͧ̏o҉̘̪̳̘ͅuͯ̀ͩ̐ͪ̾̄͏̣͙̜̘̻͎͚ ̶͇̼̹ͧ̐̀̈ͯo̬̟̔w͍̥̜̘̩̃ͥ͒ͦ̕ė̞̤́̒ ̸h̺ͩͭ͑͗ͧ̒͢e̓ͬ̋̓͐̐́̚r̖̘̄̋̇͂̀̈͂ ̴̺̥̺̻͋y̦̜̩o̙͕̮̳̣̭̹ǔ͚̼͎̼̐̊ͬ́r̴̬̺̼̭̞̣ͣ͂ͫ͆͛ͣ ͎̻̩̮͈͓ͬ̔̕l̷̼̱͌͊̍̿i̧͎̿f̧̙̏̈ͩ̎͊e͇̠̲͗͠,̪͍̳̻͍͂̾ͤ ̷ͥ̓ͪd͒́̅̃̓͊ͨö̡̖̤̻̮̺ͪ͛͛̂ ̈̐̈ͥ̾̽̿yͬͮ̆͞o̒ͥͯ̔ͥ̎̕u͙̱͙̭̰̞̭ͫͪͭ̆̽͐ ̖͓ͨ̒̿ͥͤ̀n҉̪͇̫̜͍̘o̘̹͕̭̼ͧ͌̉̊̽͡t͓̼̼ͧ?̷͚͎ ͖̺͎̺̝ͨ̈̿Ḓ̜̳̳͎͉͇o̧̳̞̱̾̈̾ͅe̤ͮͥ̚s̟̥͕̭̟̠̳ͮ̒̉̽̉ ͓̼̹͑ͨͪͯ̓̓t̷ĥͨ̌ͯͮ̓a͇ͦ͐̒ͥ̅ͣͩť͍̀̎ͧ ̰̿̌͑̅ͧͮ̄́s̵̤͓͖͕̟͕̥ͤͮ̓̐ͬͭtͣ͆ͧ͆̈ͯĩ̘̲̻̟̩̤̦̈́͌ͮ̋l͈̦̟̃ͯ̉ͤ̃ͧ͆l̼̫̺͉̼̜̦ ̱ͤͧͅh̷̼̙͖̩̪ͦͭ͊̓ơ̰͎̅̓̍l̟̰͚̻̈̌͠d̰̝̳͈̬̖̗ͤ̑̏ͩ͌̈ ̨̯̠̺̩̳͔ͧt̷̻̩̦͆ͯ͆ͤ̏ͩ͐r͉̬̭̥͙̣̗̉ͭ̊̇̒͌u̬̱͖̰ẹ̪͉̾ͤ̾ͧ?̯͙͓͖̙̭͓̐̀
O-of course. If it weren't for her I... I wouldn't even be here right now.
W̼̥͚͙̓͐̇o̴̩̝̠̩̗͆̑ͤ̽̇ͪu͈͎͍̝͔̎͒́̇ͭͧͣl͕̯̞̣̠̄̋̽ͭd̴̈͛ ̺̩̱͉̣̱͎ͯ̆͗̀́y͉̟͙̬̹̰̣͡o̟͔͙̬̮̥̽u̪̺̜̐̆̈́͂͛͒ͭ͡ ̌ͮͦ͑̐̈́s͙̪͙ͧͩͦ̾̐̑́a̵̞̓ͧ́͋y̝̤̙͈͙̺ ͯ̇̊̾ͣ̾͡y̵̠̣̖̜͊ơu͛̐ͦͥ̒͆ͪ ̜͕̞̓̓ͩͦl̙̭͇̜̞ŏ̥͎̠̪͖̬ͤ̾̀ͦͩ̉͜v͗͝e̗̬̭͑̾ͪ̍̾ͦͥd̯̳̜̻̲̰̃ͩͩ̂̐̍͟ ̣͍̳ḧ̸͍̳̻̟̹̻ͮͭͅë̗̻͚͚͔̲̔ͪ̅ͣ͒̀̚r̠͙̰͍̥ͫͧ̅?̰̘͙̭̽́̌
H-huh? What are you-
Ą̟̪̰͙̳̳̉N͔̮͖͈ͩ̊̓̾͒̚̕S̡̙̜̺̻̑́͗ͩͯ̔̇Ẅ̯̂͑̓ͭ̔̾Ę̙̗͍͖̂ͥ̀̏ͨR͔̮.̯͈̣͓͔̰̟̌ͨ̕ ̜̥̩̌̍ͦͩͤ̕T̫̱̭͖͕̫̽ͤͤ͟ͅH̥̭̝͂͒̔ͬ̿̕E͎̺̤̰͓̟̳.̣̽̅ ͔̥̜͉̰̟̭ͩͣ͌̈́̉̚Qͣ̐҉͈̜U̜̘̜ͩͮ͌E͉̹̤͐͗ͤ̈ͣ͛S̘̱̟͕̽ͧ̑̒ͮ͜T̲͍̞̥̥̄̓̄̇͂ͩ͞Ỉ̹̗̗ͫ̆ͭ̅́̋Ọͧ̇̈́̆͋͐N͙̰͚ͯ.̧ͮ
Jake flinched.
I...
He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. What DID Catherine mean to him?
I.... do. Not... not in the romantic sense, but I guess... I admired her. I aspired to be like her. Had I lived a different life, perhaps... perhaps we could have...
Ả͉̥̮ͮ͋͂ͤn̬͒̌̋̏̓d̡̼͍̤ ̡̻̦̓̽w̹̭͚̭̠͗͐̓h̺̲̺͓ͦͧͨͬ͛͐ā̬̳͓̮͓͝t̤̘̣̣̏͂́ͣ̃̃̋͡ ̴͚̜͓͖͈ͯ̈́ͯ̾̀ͥa̜̞̯̠̬͡b̘̱̤ͤ͐̇̂̏̑̑o͚̦̦ͬͦ͘ű̘̝͔̖͚ͣ̏t̫̼̭̰̙̰̱ͥ̑̋̅̆̾̃ ͤ̒ͥ͐҉̹̳̻ͅS̡̬̝̩͔̟̤ͨ̎͋h͔͓͕̳́ẽ̳̠ͪ̔́̽͠r͎̙̙͉̎͛r̴̗̪̱͎͚̿̀͐ͩͪͤ͆y̲͎̖͜?̎͌͒ͯ̈҉
W-what?
Dͬͥ͑ͧͩ͐͏̭̘̜̗͕o̭͖͎̽̌̓̆̚͠ ̷͕̎̿̊ͩ̈͊̍ỳ̮̣̮̙̄̆ͩ͝oͧ̉̒͂ͬͮͥuͧ̕ ̼͕̳̬̟͚̉̐͐ͯ̅̒͜l̤̩͖͖̫̖͔͋̎ͦơ̖̠̂̃v̨̰̳̳͌̑̃ͧe͓̼̮̒̋̏͋ ͖͇̈ͫ̋ͩ͆̾̏̕h̟͋͠e͚̝̪r̭̘̜̩̻͛ͫ̏̐̂̓̚ ͭͭͮ͋ͤͥȃ̅̏̔́s̖͖͓͍͙̣ͭͧ͆͒͐ͥ̎ ̸̪̥w̷͎͙̮͚̳ͩ̿ͤͦe̴̬l̷̹̹̘̣̻̜͎ͮͥ̄̑ͧ̓̈́l̰͍̙̘̺̙ͧ̌?̬̬̱̀͛̎̊
I...
He looked away.
... did he?
Even now, his memories of her were jumbled. There were holes in his memory. Holes about SHERRY.
But... why? If he did love her, why would he... forget things...
Jake closed his eyes and placed a hand over his heart.
Catherine. Sherry.
The two seemed similar, and yet were vastly different. Both were stubborn. Even when he pushed them away, they did not relent. They continued to persist, continued to pester him, and honestly, it drove him insane that there were such nosy women in his life.
Nevada... Ofelia... Solia... Eva...
Even now, he was sure there were more but he couldn't remember. Didn't WANT to remember.
It... hurt. He was too tired. He just wanted to let go and rest. So desperately.
But... he had promised. If... if he did anything to himself, Catherine would be so disappointed in him. Sherry would...
...
wait...
He opened his eyes.
Why DID Sherry like him? What did she see in him that he could not?
Was she the same as Catherine?
He... admitted he had liked Catherine as more than a friend, but... even he knew it was never meant to be.
She NEVER saw him like that. And so, was... was Sherry a replacement?
It was VERY evident she was interested in him romantically, which even now he honestly didn't understand why.
Why... why did she persist? Was it... because...
... ah. He knew now.
She just wanted someone to be able to manipulate.
Perhaps she had been keeping her eye on him ever since he had "awoken", and despite him CONSTANTLY telling her the island was filled with men who were a s**t ton more qualified than him and could probably satisfy all her sexual fantasies a s**t ton better than him, she still picked him.
A broken kid from a broken life who had a soft spot for kind, wholesome women.
Honestly if he were a normal human male he probably would have been all over her. Some pretty face throwing herself at him? ******** yes.
ANY GUY would have JUMPED at the chance to bed her. Anyone but him.
Honestly even now, the thought the he and her had.... had...
s**t.
He wanted to forget. The mere thought that she touched him made him want to throw up.
He hated this feeling.
He HATED being manipulated.
He hated Sherry.
...Ȃ͙̜̬̇͐̏ͮͯn̪̩͖͍̳d̸̜͇̘̟̙ͤͮ́ͯ͐̅ͅ ̴̞̙̯͍̞͉̆t̮̦͂ͧ̾̂̂̚ͅh͓̔ͨ͐̐̄͜i̱̭̝ͣ̀̄͋̐̈́s̥̻̯̮ͅ ͨͧ͜ị͇͕͆̿s̵̖̮͉ͥ͒̑́ͨ ̅ͨ̃̊ͤ͗҉̣͚͔͉̹͚͙ẅ͇̲́̓͗ͫͭ͜h̘͎͎̬̼̗͔̀̈́̿e̙͔͢r̦͎̀̆̊͗͂͟e̹͇̺̓̅ͥ̓͗̔́ ̷͉̜̀͋ͤọ̻͍̯̞̰̠ͪ͂ͣ̋̎͒̚͜u̪r͔̠̗̤͎̥̒̊̀͐̃ͧ̈́ ̡̰ͨͪ͂ͤcͪͯ̔̃́͂ͫo̤̬ͭ̆͌̅̚͜n̛̖̪̬̩̍v̥̤̫̮͚̈́̿̏́ͅe̯͙̱͓̿ͪ̾͢r̸̙̺ͬs̯͔͉̈̽͡ā̹̚t̪̲̬͊͌i̪̔ͧo̤͇̠̖ͬ̄̃̚͝ͅn̬̘̓ ̜̦̤̓̀͒ͣ̃e̢̫̞̪̘̤̮̘ͦ͆͂ͩͣ̈́ņ̅̍̂̔̈̚d̐̏̈̓͛̏͏͓͙̝ś̪̋.̩͓̻̿ͅ
----------------------
Ngh.....
Jake woke up with a pounding headache.
Was that... was that a dream?
The voice made him flinched.
C-Chester?
Wait... why did he sound so...
There was a soft sigh, and he could tell Chester was exhausted.
Oh s**t, were his nightmares affecting him too?
Y-yah, of course, anything you want.
How often was it that Chester asked for a favour??
But... he owed the nergal his life. Even if he wanted him to run around in the sweater Eva gave him singing Christmas songs at the top of his lungs, he... might even...
H-huh?
<...Please. There's something... I need to do.>
Despite him trying his best to hide it, Jake could tell something was up.
Chester never sounded THIS worn out. Was he... was he sick?
Was that even possible??
Was that... was that supposed to be a joke?
Still?
W-what is it?
H-huh?
... ok.
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 11:30 pm
Moving On((After Goodbye.))He had waited. And waited. And waited.
Even when his time in the golem was almost up, he continued to wait.
He had let Jake sleep, had went to her room. Had knocked. Several times.
Nothing. No reply. No answer. Absolutely... nothing.
Had she... already moved on? Was she... avoiding him?
... was she mad at him?
Perhaps it was because he had never reached out to her during that one-year period? But... surely she wasn't that petty. If anything, they were... still friends... right??
It wasn't until Jake came running, out of breath, yelling at Chester that his time was almost up that he realized. Jake... actually remembered?
They had exchanged few words when they got him de-activated, and even when they returned to their room, the silence hung like a heavy drape above the two.
<...>
...
<...>
... so... you wanna tell me what you were doing in front of Sherry's room?
<...>
I'm... not gonna get mad. I just wanna know the truth. Please.
Chester sighed.
He had no intention on lying to Jake. He would have to tell him eventually anyways. Perhaps it would be best if he knew sooner than later.
Pardon?
...
Jake stayed silent for a long time, and Chester was worried.
Did... did he still have feelings for Sherry? Was he out of line for thinking this was the best for the two of them? He had... never actually gotten a hold of Sherry so he didn't know, but Jake... even now he wasn't sure where the young hunter stood. If he DID have feelings for her, then he-
... you're right.
Now it was Chester's turn to be baffled.
I... it's dragged on long enough. I know you've been thinking for some time, and... honestly, ever since we've bonded, you've had nothing but my best interest in mind. Something I'm eternally grateful for. And so, if you think this isn't gonna work out, you're probably right.
Jake let out a small laugh.
No, I... well... to be honest, I did question if this was the right choice. It was... tough at times, but I really did like her. I really did think this was going to work out. Now... I'm honestly not sure. I mean... I can barely take care of myself. There's no way I can take care of her too. And like you'e said. She doesn't NEED taking care of. If anything, she can kick my a** any time. She's strong. She'll get over it. She doesn't need someone like me. She did quite well before I even awoke, and she'll do just fine even if we're apart. If anything... I think she'll be safer. I can't help but think... I've caused her nothing but trouble.
Jake laughed.
I know, right? It's normally "me! me! me!" To be honest I've never really cared about anyone else, but I guess you, Sherry... a bunch of other people made me realize my world isn't that small. That it ISN'T just always about me. And... I'm thankful for that. You've expanded my horizons. Made me realize that... there's more to this world. More to this life.
Chester nodded.
It's... really refreshing, to be honest. Letting go. I'm not saying we can't still be friends, but I don't think I'm really boyfriend material. I never was. And... it's also a load off, aha. No worrying about gifts, dates, what to say/what not to say... I can be free. I can be myself.
Chester nodded again.
Jake yawned, and stretched.
Yah, can't remember the last time I slept that well. Feels amazing.
?
Jake frowned, and crossed his arms, closing his eyes to concentrate.
I...
To be honest, it was all kind of hazy at this point. Also probably didn't help that he had no motivation to remember. It was mostly bad dreams, anyways.
Though, he was a little surprised to hear Chester breathe a sigh of relief.
Something wrong?
Jake sense him squirming again, and frowned.
No. If anything, I should be the one who's sorry. I didn't mean to overreact. Even if it had caught me off guard, I... I should have known you underwent some changes. It... it wasn't fair of me to do that to you. You're... you're not scary. I've seen a LOT scarier, and-
Chester gave a tired laugh.
He sighed.
I would have never met you.
<...>
I'm tired of blaming stuff beyond our control. I'm tired of blaming others for my problems. There's a LOT of things both of us regret, but... that's in the past. What's important is the present. That's why... it's a gift??
Chester laughed, and Jake flustered.
I-I know, that was cheesy ok, I...
Yah...
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