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 Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:18 pm
Natalia reached up and put a hand on the pendant with one hand then laid her other on one of Asch's. "I'm sorry." She remembered him telling her a friend had died a while ago and was surprised by the gift. "I'll take good care of it." She promised with a small smile.
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:24 pm
Focusing on Natalia, Asch allowed himself to forget the events that just transpired. In fact, he tried to forget everything outside of this room. One day.. just one damn day. Didn't he deserve to have at least one shred of contentment for once? Couldn't he afford to be at least a little bit selfish on a day like this?
As Natalia's hand touched his own, he said nothing, but let his actions speak for him. He turned his hand up and let his fingers intertwine with hers. He hadn't held her hand like this... in years.
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 7:49 pm
Natalia lightly squeezed Asch's hand and just enjoyed being with him without some one ruining it, whether it was themselves or someone else. Even when a waiter came in to refill the water for the tea and take Luke's cup away she didn't look away from Asch. Though of course she did say thank you distractingly. She couldn't honestly think of a single topic to start at the moment, though she supposed she should at least try before the comfortable silence between them turned awkward.
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 7:56 pm
The warmth of Natalia's hand sparked something inside him that he'd thought long since died. And Asch caught himself staring back into her eyes, also hardly noticing the presence of the waiter as he came and went. It was then that he realized that he was being incredibly unfair to her. Even if Natalia knew who he was now, even if she accepted him... he couldn't be there for her like either of them wanted him to be. He shouldn't lead her on like this, to make her think that there was a chance. She deserved better... better than him.
"Natalia..." he said quietly, as if starting to say something... but no further words came. What should he say... what could he say?
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:36 pm
While Asch was having his inner battle, Natalia had no such thing. "Yes Asch?" She asked with a happy smile. It had come to mind before that Asch would be away a lot, would have a lot of secrets, and apparently be forced into an unsavory job. But it never even crossed her mind that maybe they shouldn't attempt something.
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:41 pm
Her innocent and happy smile threatened to break his heart. She had no idea what he was involved with, and he intended to keep it that way for as long as he could. Despite his inner turmoil, he kept a passive face. He wanted nothing more than to hold her hand and to catch up on the years lost between them, but instead he pulled his hand out from under hers.
"I can't do this."
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:48 pm
......What? Natalia's smile instantly went flat when Asch pulled away and said that. Was she going to be pushed away again? Just like that? She sat straight in her chair with her hands folded back on her lap now that Asch and her weren't holding hands. "Why?" She asked with mixed feelings. She didn't even bother pretending to not know what he meant.
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:55 pm
Of course she had to ask why, and she deserved an answer. It was all within reason, but Asch fell short on how exactly to answer her. His mouth turned down in a frown, while his eyes sought out something other than the disappointed look on her face.
"I can't be what you want me to be," he said at last after a few moments of silence. He was certain that she knew he had stolen a Pokemon dear to someone. A Pokemon that his twin was adamant in getting back, yet too scared to try and fight him again.
"I'm not who I was."
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:08 pm
"Everyone changes. Everyone continues to change. No one can be expected to stay the same forever." Natalia said and shook her head slightly. She admitted to herself that she probably did expect Asch to be like how she remembered and that did make her feel guilty but just because of change doesn't mean she wanted to let him go again. She closed her eyes for a heart beat then looked back at him with a searching look. "But do you really want to just admit defeat without even trying?"
'Please don't do this Asch.' Was what she thought. 'Not today of all days.'
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:18 pm
Why was this so difficult. Everything that he wanted was sitting there, literally, right in front of him. Yet he held himself back, because it was the right thing to do. It was terrible timing, but Asch didn't want to hurt Natalia by getting her hopes up. No, he couldn't allow himself to be selfish after all. This was for her. If he allowed this, not only would he be putting himself in danger.. but possibly allow her to be alienated from her friends.
He lifted his eyes, seemingly resolved... until he met hers and felt that resolve shatter.
Can't you see? I'm doing this for you. Because I...
His jaw muscles tensed slightly. The weight of the situation falling on him like a ton of bricks. Either way, he would hurt her, was there no avoiding it? Again he felt trapped.
"It's not so simple."
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:26 pm
She would not, could not, WILL not cry, Natalia told herself just to make sure her eyes didn't water like they were threatening to. "Then explain it to me why you feel the need to do this. I get that you are in a difficult situation right now but that's not good enough." If he wanted space then it would hurt but she could give it to him but only if it meant he would come back, not if he planned on letting go completely. Unless of course he truly didn't feel that way about her...
"Explain. Please."
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:33 pm
She was trying not to cry, Asch could tell with that brave yet vulnerable look. And now he was starting to feel angry. Angry that he had been forced into this situation, angry at himself for going along with it. Angry that the world was so cruel. If only he could change it, like in that promise he had made to Natalia. But he couldn't. He couldn't do a damn thing!
Asch closed his eyes, trying to calm himself and to come up with a response to Natalia's plea.
"It's more than just a job," he said firmly. "You know that I have stolen a Pokemon. I will keep doing so, and worse. This is my life now. It is better if you stay away from me."
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:43 pm
Just as he could read her, she could read him. Natalia had to wonder what he had to get angry about when he was the one running away. But then maybe that meant he didn't what to do that any more then she did. "Why? Just because you see no escape right now that doesn't mean something can't change in the future." She protested and blinked her eyes to force back the oncoming wetness.
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:51 pm
"You don't understand!" he said forcefully, sounding a bit harsher than he had intended. But his feelings were starting to come to a head, and all of his frustration was manifesting itself.
"There -is- no escape! Not now, or ever!" The only way would be if Team Rocket disbanded or something again, and Asch couldn't possibly see that happening any time in the near future, if ever. Other than that, it was death. ... What was he thinking anyway? Team Rocket was his family now. They had accepted him where his real family and friends and accepted a replacement. Had forgotten about him.
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:03 pm
Natalia was taken aback at his verbal attack, it causing her forming tears to dry up from the surprise. She bowed her head and sat there for a moment before raising out of her chair. She stepped around the bag on the floor and up to where Asch was sitting before looking at him again, eyes shining with determination. "So you believe now. But things and situations change just like people do. If you want nothing to do with me from the bottom of you're heart," She poked him on the chest over his heart, "then I will except you're ending of this and go on pretending to love Luke like a future bride should and do my duty as you apparently have decided to do." To the wrong people no less.
"But if you feel anything, even a little, then you know where to find me I'm sure." She said then with a defiant glare leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. The contact didn't last long and she stepped back, not looking at him with a blush on her face as she grabbed her bag. "Happy valentines." She said then turned to leave.
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