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 Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 4:59 pm
Jerry winced, "How come you're making this such a big deal? Singing in public I mean. It pains me, Robert. It brings out physical pain in me. And... I don't just mean because of the sparring. Or the fact Reine nearly killed me trying to help me kick your butt."
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:04 pm
Robert shook his hands wildly. "No, no, no. ******** this, Jerry. If you want me to be honest about why I can't sing or dance anymore, you better ********' fess up about what just happened here. 'Cause I'm calling you out on this, bro. This AIN'T ABOUT THE CHOIR."
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:09 pm
"No. It's not, entirely." He kept his eyes stared ahead.
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:10 pm
"Then, tit for tat, ********." Robert nudged him with his shoulder. "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours."
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:17 pm
He shifted, debating his options. How did he even begin to explain?
The beginning, he supposed.
"You... know why I wanted to become a teacher?" He hesitated, clarifying, "Before here, I mean. I wanted to be a teacher. I liked kids. Working with them, etcetera... but. I mean. I didn't necessarily WANT to but- I mean..." He winced again, rubbing his torn stitches under his sweater, "There's that saying, 'those who can't, teach.' So I taught. Or tried to. But I'm such... a together guy, I managed to get fired after a month. Recruitment was a great thing, really... I was... not in a good place. It was a good option. And really... I mean, it confirmed I wasn't crazy. Even the KIDS had thought I was crazy. Girls never really... wanted to talk to me more'n a handful of times. I got too nervous and too... I mean. The things I thought I saw... Well, I guess we all saw 'em. But... I mean. We went through that trial and it was all a clean slate, y'know? We were new people. We weren't who we were before, but we were, you know? And... and I met my fellow Zetas and they all thought I was a doufus too, except... except her. I mean, she never said much, but I could tell. I could tell she worried.
"And still worries. And... I don't know. I am an idiot. Thinking I ever had a chance."
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:55 pm
Robert was a very dull minded man. He had trouble following Jerry's train of thought, as it wandered from his job, to his differences, and then to the island. He thought hard about the Zetas, and Jerry's experience on the island. It was hard, but not impossible, even for a man like Robert to put two and two together. 'Her' was Petra, and Jerry was talking about Petra.
And Jerry was talking about having a chance with Petra.
When the connections finally presented themselves in Robert's slow mind, his entire body went rigid, straightening his back out of pure instinct. His fists curled up, and his whole body screamed with the desire to turn Jerry into liquid.
But he held on. Just barely. Because, for the first time ever, Robert knew violence wouldn't solve anything.
"I used to be a professional thespian." Robert's clenched teeth gave away the anger that boiled inside of him, despite his change of topic. "But only local theaters. I had a scholarship. Full. To Julliard." His entire body suddenly relaxed and sagged in sadness. "And I threw it all away. For her."
Robert sighed sharply, rolling his eyes. "That part of my life is in the past, and it's supposed to stay in the past. Deus is my only future, now. Not the stage."
But, as good as he was being, he couldn't help but manage one single glare. "And for the record, you did not ever have a chance. Not because of who you are, but because I love her more than anyone ever could."
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:21 pm
Jerry listened quietly, although his expression didn't change, "Why couldn't you have had both?"
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:25 pm
"She had a dream, too. And her dream was across the country from mine." His lips turned up in a half of a smirk. "So I made the choice. She was my new dream, and I, uh.."
The smirk faded away. "I won't look back on the past, Jerry. This place is my future. She's my future. That's it now. No more limelight for this a*****e."
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:26 pm
"Why not?" Jerry rubbed the blood from his lip, glancing up at Robert again with the same pained expression, "It's not Broadway. It's just for moral." And maybe his own sanity. "Heck, I never even got to do much professional performing. I couldn't..." He hesitated, "I couldn't handle the dark theater."
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:34 pm
"It's psychomological or something." He blurted out, waving his hand around his head. "Okay? I'm just.. not ready to feel that way again." He stood up, and brushed himself off. "And since you didn't beat it into me this time, I'm gonna head out. Do you need any help getting inside, or are you gonna be all right?"
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:54 pm
"I'll be fine," Jerry said softly, although he didn't look at him. "I'll still give you the money, of course. She deserves something real nice." He smiled softly, "Merry Christmas, Robert."
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:13 pm
Robert felt like his relationship with Jerry was broken. He looked down at the man, his brow furrowed, his expression troubled. "Yeah.. all right then."
He started to walk away, and stopped, turning his head over his shoulder just slightly.
"Thanks."
He turned back, and walked away.
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