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 Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 1:26 am
[03:29] Kisa: Ichi looked over at Lute and tried to think of something to make up for it. He pushed his own hair back and looked at the male he loved more then anything. Who ment more to him then anyone, even his mom didn't mean as much to him as Lute did. He sighed softly and scooted closer. "Lute...I am sorry about what i said. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings over it. It came out with out me thinking that it would hurt you." He said softly. "I don't think your a girl, or girly, honest." he said softly.
[03:33] Alexina:
Lute wouldn’t even put the book down, his eyes firmly on the page, at most he would subconsciously copy Ichi and push some of his own hair back as well. Of course Lute couldn’t just believe that Ichi didn’t think of him as girly, why else would he even ask Lute to wear a dress or bear the flowers . . . It was probably Elisa teasing him all those years growing up semi together that hit it hard when his love said it. So . . . she managed to get him into a few dresses . . . so what . . . he never though Ichi would.
[03:35] Kisa: Ichi frowned and looked at him. "Are you just going to stay mad? I...I don't like knowing i made you this mad...I...didn't think about it im sorry...I should have known better and im sorry." he said softly as he looked at Lute and sighed. "I don't know how i can tell you any other way...what do you want me to do to make up for this?" he asked as he tried to get Lute to look at him.
[03:39] Alexina:
Lute would merely flip a page, sighing some. What was there really to say? Of course Ichi would say anything now . . . but . . . that doesn’t change that the man thought he would wear a dress and such. Slowly he would bookmark and set down the book on his lap taken a deep breath as both hands rested on top of it. “What is there really to say?” He refused to look up, his eyes instead studying the ring he wore. “Is it my hair? Or something else? What . . . what makes me . . . like a female?”
[03:43] Kisa: Ichi frowned and sighed softly feeling so horrid for even haveing thought about it. "Its not your hair. My hair is almost as long as your." he said softly. "I...I would have to say that it was just cause in bed im the top...and my brain just compaired that to me being more like the man in the relationship and you simmilar to the girl...Its not something about you perosnally...Its just how my brain organized our relationship in my head and im sorry its upset you. I didn't mean it like that at all.
[03:43] Kisa: "
[03:45] Alexina:
Lute clenched the book slightly at that. Ichi probably wasn’t going to share a bed like that with him again for awhile. “So . . . men are always on top when it comes to that act then?” He wouldn’t know of course, Ichi was the only one . . . he had shared that experience with.
[03:48] Kisa: Ichi frowned and shook his head. "No i don't mean like in how we have sex. I mean that...i'm the one whos doing stuff to you, you don't do all the same things to me that i do to you." he said. Lute was slowly learnign things in bed but Ichi wasn't pushing him cause he knew that Ichi was his first. "I mean top as in you don't enter me." he ssaid even though he wouldn't tell Lute no if thats what he wanted.
[03:54] Alexina:
Lute of course just sat there silently for a bit as if taken it in. “Either way . . . in your mind, one of us has to be . . . more manly?” He took another deep breath. The poor guy . . . gaydom was new to him in general . . . and it seemed the whole . . . having one being a female defeated the point to him. If he wanted a female . . . he would have decided not to be with Ichi. If he wanted to be a female . . . he was sure there was other ways to go about it as well. “I don’t like it.” He said softly sighing trying to calm a bit. “I . . . I don’t think . . . I don’t think I could do that for you.” Why would Ichi want him to be a female anyways? Why not just date a female if that’s what he wanted?
[04:03] Kisa: Ichi frowned and shook his head. "Its not something i want. I want you. I don't mean any of this to be taken as me wanting a girl. I mean it just that how our relationship works is like that. If you wanted to top i'd let you. I wouldn't ever tell you no about something like that. If you want to then tell me. Im not saying you need to be a girl im really not." he said getting a little upset now him self. Lute was confused and Ichi didn't know how to tell him his view on things. He didn't want him to be a girl, and hadn't ment to call him one. He just had seen that some gay guys who were the bottom in the relationship sometimes did wear a dress and he hadn't been sure what Lute wanted to wear in the first place. "I didn't mean to make you think thats what i want. Its not." he said as he looked at his lap sadly. He felt he was pushing his Lute away and it scared him a little.
[04:09] Alexina:
Lute moved a hand to twist his ring around his finger some sighing. He didn’t care which way the man wanted to do sex . . . as long as it made Ichi happy. He just . . . hated the fact . . . female was mentioned. “Does that act . . . really matter at all when it comes to this?” he actually would look to Ichi pleading a bit. The poor guy was hurt . . . and now probably regretting some of the joys they had if it came down to all of this. “Let’s just drop it.” He sighed softly looking down a bit annoyed at his book. “Pretend it didn’t happen, and not let it happen again.” If he had too Lute would cut his hair and even grow facial hair if need be.
[04:20] Kisa: Ichi looked at him and frowned. "What act? How we have sex? No not really im sorry really i am i didn't mean for it to come off as any of that. You wear what you want and you don't need the flowers. Hold something else if you want to hold something when you walk down towards me. I just want you happy Lute and i don't want to lose you..." he said as he looked at the male and tried to smile a little. "I don't mean to upset you. I really don't. I just need you happy..." he said softly as he looked at Lute and frowned a little. "If you want to drop it then i guess we can."
[04:24] Alexina:
Lute’s eyes of course narrowed when Ichi once more put him in a female role, of walking down the isle. Where was all that coming from, of course Lute would merely stand set the book down gentle on the coffee table since it wasn’t helping at all and head to his room. Pausing at the door some only to mutter in anger, and frustration. “How about YOU wear the dress and carry the flowers and come down the aisle.” At that he would actually slam the door of his room after entering it.
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 3:54 am
[04:54] Kisa: Ichi watched his love leave and storm off. He frowned and sighed softly as he stood and walked to his lovers door. "Lute thats not what i ment...Please...You said you wanted me to do most of this for us and i didn't know you don't want to do it traditional. If you just want to go to the court house and have us dressed up nice and sign papers then we'll do that i wont make you walk down the asile or have flowers or anything...Just...please..." he said as he rested his head against the frame of the door. "I don't want to lose you...and im doing such a royal job of pushing you away..." he said. He had never made the male mad like this before and Ichi was worried.
[04:59] Alexina:
Lute of course was sitting down on the bed annoyed to his wits ends. Worse part was Ichi didn’t get it at all. It wasn’t the fact Lute even had the choice at this point, it was the fact Ichi naturally kept putting him in that role. He frowned moving to stand in front of his mirror looking himself over, wondering what he could do . . . to not look like a girl. He pulled back his hair wondering if cutting it was the way to do it . . . but . . . his mother always liked his hair. Ichi would probably hear a sudden crash, and Lute punched the mirror so hard it broke probably cutting Lute’s hand up pretty badly. “Why can’t you stop putting me in the female role!” He called out almost in desperation.
[05:05] Kisa: Ichi smelled the blood and tried the door. "Lute let me in so i can fix your hand please. And im not...i'm not trying to! I didn't know it was a problem and i didn't know you wanted it any differently. If you want to be the guy at the wedding then ok. I'll walk to you. Ifd you insist i wear the dress i'll wear it but i didn't...I was looking forward to watching you walk to me...cause i love you. And cause I...I don't know i thought you wanted to come to me like that. I didn't think of it as putting you in the girl role, just...just thought of it as you coming to me so we could spend the rest of our lives together." he said softly as he kept growing worried about Lutes hand.
[05:10] Alexina:
Another bang on what was left of the mirror, Lute was pissed, the pain didn’t matter, hell probably helped with his other hurt some. “What’s the difference? Really? To be manlier, am I to be more aggressive? More demanding? I don’t want that! I don’t want to be a damn thing like my father!” The poor guy . . . his father probably was his only male role model. He didn’t want to ruin Ichi’s plans, he . . . he just never thought they would be so degrading for him. Ichi . . . really wanted him in that role? He would slide to the grown not caring if he was sitting in broken glass and softly cry. He felt . . . so lost . . . so confused. He loved Ichi, deeply . . . but . . . it was like the man he thought got him . . . didn’t suddenly.
[05:23] Kisa: Ichi sighed and sat on the ground at the door as well. Damn it he wasn't helping any of this! He covered his face and sighed. "Lute Im sorry. Thats all i can say. And everything i say makes you feel worse. I...wont keep saying more if your just going to hate me...it would kill me to know i made you hate me." he said as he sighed and leaned his head against the wall. Lute wasn't going to let him in it seemed...and Ichi grew more an dmore worried that he had royally ******** this up. He closed his eyes and just sat, waiting to see if Lute would come out so he could try to say sorry again.
[05:30] Alexina:
Lute just sat their silent, the only thing that reminded him that it was all real and not a bad nightmare was the stinging in his hand. What did he have to do? Toss Ichi to the bed and . . . show him how much of a man he really was, that he could be, not caring what the other felt or wanted . . . what even made a man? . . . was . . . was Lute in the wrong? . . . was . . . was he really female like. “I could never hate you.” The words were soft, but he meant every one of them . . . he was just . . . hurting, confused, and hating the fact . . . that even his lover didn’t see him as a full man. “ . . . it’s . . . it’s unlocked if you want to come in. Although . . . I . . . I seem to have made quite a mess . . . I’ll . . . clean it later.” He didn’t want to move . . . he wanted to vanish into the stinging pain of his hand, to . . . just rid himself of his emotional pain.
[05:47] Kisa: Ichi stood and walked in and sat next to Lute afterpushing glass away and took his hand to look at it. "Lute will you listen to me. I'm not calling you a girl. I was trying to know what you wanted honestly. I wasn't trying to push you into being a girl or looking like one or hurt your feelings by thinking of you as one. I've never thought of you as one. Is it so wrong to have you walk to me when we get married? Or to have you holding flowers? I thought you liked them..." he knew he loved flowers and he wanted lots of flowers aroudn the wedding. Checking to make sure no glass was in the cut he carefully took his shirt off and wrapped it to stop the bleeding. "I'm never going to push you into anything you don't want. Be what you want i don't mind i'll always love you. but i just want you to understand i never thought of you as a girl. not ever."
[05:53] Alexina:
Lute actually would hold out his hand making sure Ichi didn’t get too close to the glass, he didn’t want him hurt after all. Winching as Ichi probably pulled out a few shards here and there. “No . . . you like flowers.” He said softly sighing to look at Ichi. “Or I thought you did, your face always lights up when I get you some. It’s why . . . I like getting them for you.” He sighed at the boy’s words, Ichi really didn’t get it. “It’s like you’re setting me up one way or another . . . all your suggestions. Do you really think I’m weaker? If not female . . . don’t you get it? I’m as able and strong as you if I put my mind to it.” Sure he was worth a lot less . . . maybe that was it . . . Lute’s ears lowered in that thought. If it was because of worth . . . then Ichi was right to suggest what he did.
[05:58] Kisa: Ichi frowned. "I think i just...love to spoil you and feel like im the stronger one. You...went through so much that i want to make you happy how ever i can and to spoil you in my own way i guess, and to protect you. And...I have to be the stronger one to protect you and keep you safe...i know you can do it just fine. i know if you were in a fight you would make it out ok. but i wouldn't want you to have to. i'd want to fight your fights for you and keep you safe. Thats what i want more then anything...you safe. not like a girl safe nothing like that. I want you there to...to always be there for me cause your the most important thing to me and i don't want to lose you." he said as he looked at Lute. "I protect you cause i don't know what would happen if i lost you." he said softly.
[06:05] Alexina:
Lute gave him such a cute look at that before given a deep sigh. “You act like I don’t feel exactly the same way about you? That because of these feelings we should . . . lock each other up or something. You’re the most amazing person I know, I wouldn’t be surprised if you woke one day . . . and realized you deserve much better than me, or that you wanted something else.” He would glance to his hand which was probably bleeding through his shirt some. That would explain why he was starting to feel nauseas and light headed.
[06:08] Kisa: Ichi laughed softly and pulled Lute up gently and hugged him. "I'll never love or want another but you. the only think i want more then you is children and we'll have those eventually. Come on i think we should go to the Doctors about this its beyond my skills." he said as he got a new towel for it and told Lute to keep it wrapped tight. Wrapping a coat around Lutes shoulders and pulling on his own coat he walked Lute out to the car and before helping him in gave him a deep kiss. "Can you ever forgive me?" he asked as his metal hand came up and pushed Lutes hair back gently.
[06:11] Alexina:
Lute was so easy to lead, course . . . it was Lute after all, then again the poor guy was wobbling due to the blood lost. Ichi’s question got that stern look from Lute again. “Only if you stop doing it . . . stop thinking that only you think that way that you’re stronger. I . . . I can’t live like that, I can’t live feeling like I’m weak or others think I am.” The poor guy . . . always had to be strong after all.
[06:12] Kisa: Ichi nodded. "I'll do my best. Just remember you mean everything to me and i'll always protect you even if you don't want me to. I love doing it really. I've never thought of you as weak." he said as he helped the male into the car and went around to hurry and leave to drive to the Emergency room.
[06:15] Alexina:
Lute of course didn’t care that he was bleeding, it was almost like he was used to things like this. “Once more, it’s like you don’t think I feel the same way about you? I would fight any battle for you. So . . . I guess we’re in a spot.” He said softly managing a weak smile. “We either will have to fight together, or fight each other to see who gets to fight the battle. Course the second one sounds less fun.”
[06:16] Kisa: Ichi laughed at him and smiled. "I think we can fight together. Though if your unable to fight your fight then im doing it. and if im unable to fight mine then im doing my fight." he said with a smile as he kept an eye on Lute to make sure he didnt pass out before they got to the drs.
[06:20] Alexina:
Lute raised an eyebrow not sure if he heard his love’s words correctly. He seemed unconcerned about his hand, as if, if he passed away there it wouldn’t matter. That was Lute though, he was tough, sides demons never got out of their torment so easy. He would glance up and out the window watching the street lights and stars pass by. Maybe he shouldn’t have done something stupid like that, it was like the gods to take you when you might reach happiness. “Or, I can just keep my battles a secret. Make sure, nothing ruins your days that way.”
[06:24] Kisa: Ichi's ears flattened as he drove faster seeing how light headed Lute seemed to be getting. "Don't hide them from me please. I want to know everything about them. If you have a fight with out me i want you to tell me everything so i can tell you what a good job you did and then love you to know that your safe and happy." He said looking at him. "I want to know cause i know you would want to know if i had a fight while i was at school." he said softly.
[06:28] Alexina:
Lute managed a small smile at Ichi’s words. “Already made my choice, sides . . . it’s a way to keep you safe.” He said softly taken Ichi’s hand with his left unhurt one to lightly squeeze. “I think I may have broke my hand.” He said, like it was off the top of his head, knowing Lute though, he probably was right about this stuff. “I’ll be fine though, I’ve had worse.”
[06:30] Kisa: Ichi frowned and looked at the bleeding hand. "I wish you would stop hurting your self. Its one thing to beat up someone and hurt your self, but when you do it to your self and i cant hurt someone for hurting you so badly its a little frusterating." he said softly as he lifted Lutes uninjured hand and kissed it as he pulled into the hospital.
[06:34] Alexina:
Lute seemed confused at Ichi’s words, as if not understanding then glanced to his hand. “I . . . I . . .” He sighed feeling defeated, he hurt Ichi this way . . . upset him. “I didn’t plan . . .” he couldn’t even figure how to voice it. Was it due to blood lost or . . . feeling so bad. He was just so hurt so upset so angry . . . he wasn’t about to hurt Ichi, and the mirror . . . it seemed like more of a safer outlet.
[06:40] Kisa: Ichi looked at him and nodded. "I know. I know it was an accident. But maybe a pillow next time that wont cut you open." he said kissing the others good hand again as he got out and helped him into the ER and started checking him in since Lute was holding pressure on his hand. They were taken to a room pretty quick since Lute looked close to passing out and needed to stop bleeding and have xrays.
[06:43] Alexina:
Lute of course let Ichi lead and do whatever he wanted with him. Glancing around curious when they got to the hospital, he rarely came to them. In fact . . . he was use to taken care of himself and the few times he did go to the hospital was after he probably passed out and awoke in one. “Pillow’s don’t work, they give too much.” He said softly looking away from Ichi ashamed. “Sides . . . the mirror wasn’t helping.”
[06:47] Kisa: Ichi looked at him as they sat in the room and waited for a Doctor to come look at it after a nurse had hooked Lute up to some blood and a bag of fluids to keep him awake and gave him something new to press to the cut. He knew what he ment and frowned. "I'll get a punching bag if you want. you can hit that as long as you don't break your hand again ok?" he said as he looked at lute at the Dr came in to check it and start stitching it up before they would go take xrays.
[06:49] Alexina:
Lute seemed not to flinch much despite the pain he was probably in. He would look a bit hurt and worried to Ichi though when he spoke of understanding. After all . . . those were horrible feelings to understand. “I . . . I try not to get angry . . . or . . . aggressive often.” He said softly, thinking the punching bag would probably go to waste. “I’m . . . I’m sorry for my lack of control earlier.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:17 am
[02:16] Alexina:
Now THIS was embarrassing, here he had did his best to get to work, and was stuck in one of the stalls on his knees losing whatever food he had in him. Which surprised him, since he ate light figuring he wouldn’t be able to lose much more at work. He was sick . . . he knew this . . . and he also knew he had to . . . show Ichi he was worthy of keeping around. Of course not wanting to make his love sick as well helped him get to work somehow.
Poor Lute, he had tried his best to serve drinks, he got a few out then the smell of some chick’s perfumes sent him here. His second try out there was even more short lived as the smell of the cherries seemed to set him off again. Worse part of it all was . . . he was here huddling over a toilet . . . and feeling hungry? What was wrong with him?
[02:20] Kisa: Denali had been called down from her office by John who had watched the long haired Bartender who was with Ichi ran off not once but twice not to throw up. He called Denali and told her to come check on him. Denali came down and moved to the mens room, not minding at all if there were others there peeing or anything. She walked to his stall and knocked. "Lute mon ami are you alright darling?" she asked as she peeked through the door to try and look at him. "Do ya want me ta call Ichijou and have him come get you hun? you dun look well at all cherie(sp)." she said as she frowned and wondered which of the possible things could be wrong with him was the matter.
[02:33] Alexina:
Lute wince when he heard Denali’s voice, how foolish he must appear. After all here was the most important woman in his love’s life checking up on him. He didn’t want to be a burden, especially to Ichi so taken a deep breath and cleaning his mouth with some toilet paper he would stand. Making sure he was okay before flushing and shyly opening the door. “I’m sorry . . .” He started those green eyes of his almost given a cute puppy dog look. “I . . . perhaps I should have just called in.” He didn’t answer when it came to Ichi . . . this was the boy’s alone time, time to get on with his school work.
[02:39] Kisa: Denali looked at him and smiled softly. "Oh mon ami you would have been fine if you had called out. I would not want my son in law to be here all sick. Is it the flu or is it something else?" she asked not wanting to come right out and ask ifhe was pregnant, she didn't want to get her hopes up at being a grandmother till she knew for sure that he was going to have her sons kids. It would be a wonderful day for Denali if he was though cause she would be spoiling the s**t out of some grandkids.
[02:45] Alexina:
Lute glanced to her confused when she asked what it was slowly shaken his head. “I don’t know, I don’t think the flu reacts like this though.” He said softly moving a hand to make sure his hair was still up and back nice and tight. Usually he kept it down off the job, but lately even at home he found it more useful being up. “Don’t concern yourself on my part.” He said softly feeling bad some wondering if he had the woman worrying. “Denali . . . he doesn’t know . . . he wouldn’t let me come if he knew I wasn’t well. I . . . I just don’t want to make him sick by being around him any more than I have too.”
[02:48] Kisa: Denali smiled at him. "Are you hungry even though your sick? And you don't know quite what you want? but your starving even though you were just throwing up?" she asked. If he didn't think it was the flu then she wondered if he might be pregnant. She didn't want to scare him if he wsn't expecting to be though so she was going to ask about things till she knew and then tell him. "have you been sick any other mornings and is it just in the mornings?"
[02:53] Alexina:
Lute glanced to her paling some at her words. Feeling foolish he would exit the stall glaning around at the few who might still be in the restroom. “Perhaps . . . this isn’t the best place to discuss.” He said, his eyes lowering to the floor in shame. But yes, although I do get . . . nausias off and on during the day as well. I . . . I’ve been doing what I can to hide it, I don’t want Ichi to worry.”
[02:57] Kisa: Denali smiled and took his hand. "Amour you come with mama Denali and we'll go talk in my office ok?" she said as she gently coaxed him along to her office. Once there she shut the door and sat him down as she sat on her desk, not at her desk literally on it infront of him. "Lute are you and Ichi trying to have babies? Cause it sounds ta me like you might be pregnant. Is that somethin' ya both wanted right now?" she asked softly trying to be gentle about this.
[03:02] Alexina:
Lute of course followed, keeping an eye on the trashcan just in case. But trying not to be noticed doing so. Course he would sit when she motioned him too only to stand at once when she spoke of him being pregnant. “I’m male!” An odd outburst, but it was all he could think of to use as a protest. Then again, Lute probably didn’t know much about the birds and the bees past the fact he knew he came from his mother. The poor guy seemed lost, scared, worried. Ichi spoke of children . . . and Lute didn’t protest the idea . . . he of course would be worried that they might have some of his . . . disliked features. Course all of the sudden thought and panic made his head spin and he would find himself dropping back to sit before falling. A man of little words for sure, but the poor guy had thoughts racing left and right. It couldn’t really be possible right?
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:57 am
[03:28] Kisa: Denali looked at him and smiled. "Men can have babies here love. Johns mate s a male andhe just had three of them about 4 months ago. Theres a gay scientist down the street whos boyfriend is having his babies. so your very well could be. Do you want me to call Ichi andhave him take you to the doctors?" she asked as she grabbed her phone and waited to hear what lute wnted her to do.
[03:30] Alexina:
It seemed that all colors had left his face at that. Lute had no clue, that he himself could bare the children. His eyes glanced slowly down at his stomach as a hand gently went to rub it. “No!” He glanced up at her when he spoke of calling his love. The poor guy was unsure how to take it all it seemed. “I . . . I’ll get a cab or something.” He said softly, of course that probably wasn’t the best state of mine for Lute to be in. “Or . . . is there a way we . . . could find out with me here? Why worry Ichi if we don’t have too?”
[03:35] Kisa: Denali smiled at him and laughed softly. "I don't think he will worry. I rather think he will be happy. You should talk to him but yes i think i have a test around here. BUT if its possitive you have to let me call him and ask him to come get you so you can tell him ok?" she said with a grin as she got off the desk and moved to her bathroom off her office. she kept some here all the time for her self and for her dancers that sometimes got....too carried away after hours. She walked out and handed it to him. "Just pee on the end here and it will tell you in about 3 minuets."
[03:39] Alexina:
Poor Lute’s face was starting to go red out of shame an embarrassment. Nodding at her words he would head to the restroom. “If . . . if it’s so . . . then you may have to tell him.” He spoke softly, he was strong sure, but he was silent enough for most not to be able to get to know him well. Once in the bathroom he would get himself a drink of water . . . to rinse his mouth at first. Feeling so foul due to his earlier activities, holding his stomach as he was feeling a new type of sick, one of nerves. In the privacy of the restroom he would do what he had to do . . . only to glance around confused not knowing what to do with it. After all he didn’t want to just hand his boss a stick with his pee on it.
[03:43] Kisa: (hes so cute)
[03:45] Kisa: Denali looked at him ashe moved to the bathroom. She allowed herself a moment to be very excited about this as she wiggled and sat back on her desk. She was possibly going tobe a grandma! She had wanted to be one for so long now! She was so thrilled as she wiggled her wings and waited for him to come out. "You can just grab some toiletpaper and put it out here on the desk so it doesn't get the desk dirty." she sid with a smile wanting to watch it change and hoping it would be positive.
[03:49] Alexina:
Lute of course found the idea gross beyond belief. He glanced down to the stick again then to the toiletpaper. He would balance it so that the tainted end touched nothing while folding some toilet paper into a boat like thing. A skill Katen of course had as well but much stronger. Setting the stick carefully in it making sure it wouldn’t make a mess he would wash his hands before shyly coming out to do what she said sitting down not able to make eye contact. “Isn’t this . . . a bit . . . barbaric?” He whispered having no clue how peeing on a stick would tell them anything.
[03:52] Kisa: Denali couldn't help laughing at him a little. "Well if you went to the doctors they would do this and draw your blood to test that. So either way this will be about the same. They might use an ultrasound on your belly too if you went into the Doctors." she said as she watched the stick. "This is very accurate though. I did one of these when i got pregnant with Ichi and his siblings. So i know it will be right."
[03:54] Alexina:
Lute glanced up slightly at the laugh listening to her words. “How . . . how did you feel when . . . when you were testing?” He asked softly. Wondering if she was as worried, or if it was more joy for her. Was she prepared? Knowing of what might happen? He certainly wasn’t . . . he didn’t want to be labeled as a female in anyway. “Could it possibly be anything else? There are lots of sicknesses out there after all.”
[03:58] Kisa: She smiled for a moment before she frowned. "I was...happy at first. I was very happy. I thought that Madness loved me so i was excited. Like nothing in this world mattered but thati was havin' my loves babies. So it was good for a while till...after the stuff that happened with Ichi losinghis arm and...madness having to go get him...he never was much ok with things after that and he left. But Ichi wont be like that. Hes much too in love with you and he loves kids." she said with a smile as she looked at the stick. "If you don't feel like its the flu then there isn't much more it could be. This is the most plosible thing." she said as she looked at the test. "Just abut longer i think..." she said excitedly.
[04:07] Alexina:
Lute’s ears lowered against his head at her words. He had a similar experience with his own mother and father after all. “But . . . how can you be so sure that it isn’t the act of having children that changes everything. Not the persons themselves.” One of his hands moved to rub the shoulder on the side of his missing wing. “It’s the ones who seem nice . . . that you have to look out for most.”
[04:12] Kisa: Denali looked at him and smiled. "Do you really feel like Ichi will leave you if this is positive? Do you really think he'll leave you ever?" she asked as she looked at the test. It said positive. she smiled and looked at him. "Cause its positive. and i think he'll only love you more for this. Do you think hes one of those ones that really needs to be looked out for?" she asked as she smiled. "Should i call him over here now?" she asked as she smiled.
[04:15] Alexina:
“I don’t know.” Lute said softly only for fear to fill him when she said it was positive. They . . .they were going to have children? What if they turned out hideous like Lute? Unholy like his father hated him for. He wasn’t sure what to do, or even think, so he would just nod at her question about calling Ichi. It was best to face facts and get stuff over with as soon as possible. “I don’t think most expect any of that . . . from the one they love . . . yet it has happened to many.”
[04:22] Kisa: Denali smiled and she watched him. He was cute all right and she wondered how he didn't see that Ichi would practically tell the whole world that he was going to be a father when she told him. She waved off his words. "Calm down and just watch what happens. If he leaves i'll beat him up my self." she said as she called him.
Ichi was working on a piece of music when his phone went off. answering it when it said his mother. "Yes mother?" he said as he listened to her talk. something was up with Lute? and he needed to come get him? And they had something to tell him....he said he would be there as fast as he could and he hurried to put shoes on and a coat before going to his car to hurry to his moms casino to see what was wrong with his love.
[04:25] Alexina:
Lute of course would stand and actually give Denali a strong cold look at her words. The boy did have a backbone after all. “You will not. You will never lay a finger on him in such a manner. Do I make myself clear?” Was it true? Lute would allow Ichi to rip his heart out if he wished, and still go unharm? It was then that Lute sunk back into his chair, realizing . . . that he had no fear being like his father . . . he was . . . weak more like his mother.
[04:33] Kisa: she smiled at him and grinned. "Ohh you do have a temper. Well i'm sure it wouldn' have to happen any ways. Ichi will be thrilled im sure." she said as she moved to her seat at her desk and smiled as she sat. "Lets seeeee here...Oh here I'll have someoone bring you a nice tea for your tummy ok?" she said as she called into the kitchens for small snacks and some tea to help Lutes tummy stop hurting or feeling sick.
Ichi hurried across town and parked and ran up to the casino doors almost hitting John as he ran up to Denali's office. he looked around and saw lute sitting ehre and went to him and hugged him. "Lute! Oh love are you ok? What happened?" he asked as he looked over him expecting soeone to have hurt his love not that he coud be sick or pregnant.
[04:37] Alexina:
Lute glanced up when she spoke of tea nodding; he always loved tea after all. Course he was wishing she offered him a meal of sorts; he was starving in his own way. He wasn’t going to be rude and ask for more though; he would take what he got and perhaps pick something up on the way home? Given Ichi a weak smile when the man runs in to hug him. Hugging him gentle back but not able to look him in the face let alone the eye. “I . . . I’m just a little sick.” He muttered under his breath not having the nerve to tell his love, to worry what may come of it. Instead he gave Den a look as if pleading that she pulled that trigger.
[04:41] Kisa: Denali looked at him and smiled. "I had them bring an assortment of snack up too Lute." she said as she looked at her son. "Ichi don't listen to him. Its not just that hes sick. Ichi hes pregnant" she said pointing to the test. "Your going to be fathers." She said not wanting to say that Lute would be a mother cause she knew he didn't like to be called a female in any way.
Ichi looked at him when he said he was sick and then at hismother and then at the test....Pregnant! Babies! He laughed and pulled Lute close and kissed his face. "Oh my love! My everything is having my babies! Oh this is wonderful!" he said as he hugged his Lute gently and kissed him all over. "Mother you finally get grand kids!" he said with a smile.
[04:45] Alexina:
Lute of course gave a small smile to Denali when she mentioned food, it made him feel sicker, but then again he craved it. What a horrible state to be in. It was Ichi’s reaction that surprised him most though, sitting pretty still as the man seem to lose it in his own way. There wasn’t anything he could say really, so he would just pull Ichi close to whisper softly to him. “What . . . what if they resemble demons like I do though?”
[04:48] Kisa: Ichi looked at him and shoook his head. "My love your far to sexy to be called a demon no matter your blood line. I'll love them even if heir born with two heads and horns. I'll love them cause their ours and we made them. I don't care what they are just tha they are ours and that they are healthy." he said as he kissed him full on the lips and smiled.
[04:51] Alexina:
Lute of course would turn bright red. He was affectionate sure but not so much when it came to being so in front of others. He would gently return the kiss never the less moving a hand to stroke Ichi’s cheek. “You say that now . . . but then again, you loved me despite it.” He said softly behaving himself by not grabbing some of the food while his love wished for his attention. “I don’t want them treated like my father treated me is all.”
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Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:25 am
[03:25] Kisa: Ichi looked at his lover and frowned a little. "Do you think i would, let alone could, treat you or the kids like he treated you. Never in this world would i do anything remotely like that to you or any kids we have." he said as he hugged lute. "mother thank you for calling and heping him tonght. but we should get going so i can get him some more tea to help him feel better and something soothing to eat. Do you want to stop someplace for food onthe way home?" he asked Lute as he brushed a hand over his face and smiled.
Denali nodded and smiled at them. It was very cute, and she loved that lute was tolerate of how Ichi loved him, she knew he could be difficult sometimes. Her eyes wandered over them both and nodded. "Please go its all fine. Just get better. I'll work you evening shifts so you don't have to worry about the morning sickness at work ok lute? Get better and be sure you bring me pictures of your ultrasounds when you go! I wanna know what my grandbabies are!" she said as she waved them off as ichi took Lutes hand and headed towards his car.
[03:29] Alexina:
Lute frowned at Ichi’s words. “I didn’t mean that you would . . . I meant anyone.” He said softly before nodding some when food was mentioned, it sounded nice after all. He would eat about anything at this point, although he couldn’t help feeling embarrassed about asking for so much. He blushed some at Danali’s words only to nod. “Babies?” He looked at Ichi worried, there could be more than one? He didn’t want to be a mother, father sure, but he couldn’t help feeling horrible about the situation.
[03:32] Kisa: Smiling at him as he walked through the casino to the car he nodded. "Yes you could have more then one. We'll need to go into the doctors soon to see how many so we can make sure their all ok too if theres more then one." h said with a smile as he kissed his face and walked across the parking lot to the car. "What would you like to eat while we head home?" he asked unlocking the car for them.
[03:39] Alexina:
Lute would of course allow Ichi to lead him. Once sitting he would twist the ring he got from his love around his finger some. “Pizza sounds nice, and some Chinese, a bit of Mexican . . .” Lute’s face grew red as he cut himself off. Most of the more fast food junk types wasn’t his style but he found himself about to even mention a burger joint. “We’re . . . we’re not even married yet.” He would whisper softly.
[03:42] Kisa: Ichi smiled as he drove and looked at his love. "Do you really want all that or is there one place you want for now and some place you want me to get later for dinner?" he asked as he smiled at him and took his hand. "We can get married sooner then planned now if you want to be married before the babies get here then. I don't mind we'll work it all out love. Though we'll have to do it before your belly comes in or we'll have to adjust your outfit for the wedding." he said as he smiled. The idea of seeing his love all round and beautiful with their children made him so very happy.
[03:45] Alexina:
Lute gave a cute pout annoyed look when Ichi spoke of a belly. “Maybe afterwards would be best after all.” He said glancing out his window some, he craved a bit of all small things here and there but the question and belly comment kinda was a slap. “You pick.” He said softly, one place will do, and it seems he might have to becareful not to eat too much now.
[03:52] Kisa: Ichi smiled at him and pet lutes hair softly and pushed a bit fro his face. "Do you want more then one place for lunch? i do't mind i just don't want you to eat too much and get sick again. You might need to drink alot of water when we get home so you don't get dehydrated too." he said as he drove. "How about Pizza for dinner, with something else i f you want, and then mexican for dinner?" he asked with a smile. "I'll even get some fried ice cream for desert.
[03:52] Kisa: "
[03:54] Alexina:
Lute glanced up at him smiling some. “Pizza and Chinese sounds nice.” Something about putting some of the Chinese sauces and meats on the pizza sounded really good to him for some reason. At the thought of fried ice cream he nodded slowly. Maybe with pickles or olives.
[04:00] Kisa: Smiling at him he nodded and headed to a pizza place. He looked at him and smiled. "wha do you want on your pizza? and slices or a whole one?" he asked as he drove. "This one im going to is near a chinese place so if you want to go get the chinese while im getting the pizza then you can get what ever you like over there i'll eat anything from the chinese place." he said with a smile as he kept his eyes on the rode but looked at Lute off and on. His beautful mate. His umm...well mother to his children even though he might not ever actually call Lute mother to his face.
[04:03] Alexina:
((Rofl like to see him try))
Lute glanced to him before feeling foolish but answering. “Whole, please. Olives, mushrooms, pickles, peanut butter . . .” He paused going bright red realizing how foolish he sounded. “Just surprise me.” He muttered softly looking down very embarrassed now. “I can tell already that . . . this is going to be quite troublesome.”
[04:07] Kisa: Smiling at him he nodded. "I'll see what i can do but im not even sure if they will have pickles or peanutbutter in the pizza shop." he said as he pulled intot he place and smiled. He offered money to Lute. "this is for the chinese food. Get what you want." he said with a smile as he leaned across the seat and kissed him. "Your ging to be beautiful. Even if its going to be troublesome. I'll get you anything you want ok love?" he said wih a smile.
[04:11] Alexina:
Lute of course quickly shook his head denying the money. “I get paid remember.” He would smile softly before gently kissing his love, glad that Ichi was so accepting of everything. “I . . . I didn’t even know it was possible.” He said softly getting out of the car with a shrug. “There really isn’t anything else I would want or need from you.” He gave his love a gentle smile at that before heading to the restaurant. Course the poor guy looked like he maybe bought the play out when he was leaving. Probably getting a little of everything if not a lot. Everything just sounded so good . . . well in the wrong combinations. His main idea for desert later was sushi ice cream.
[04:16] Kisa: Ichi walked in and got a pizza with everything on it, he was sure Lute would pick it off if he didn't want it. He asked about th pickles and peanut butter. and amazingly they hadsome pickles but no peanut butter. He thanked them and had them add that to the pizza and then left with a smile as he moved out to the car to see Lute with all the boxes of chinese food. "oh you were very hungry. I hope we have room in the fridge. Its going to be interesting to see what sorts of things you start to crave my love." he said as he climbed in and kissed him again. "Need anything else while were out or do you just want to go home and eat?"
[04:19] Alexina:
Lute’s face would be bright red at the teasing. “Hush.” He would mutter softly, of course he had already gotten into some of the noodles. Rare for Lute to do, but he really didn’t have much if anything for breakfast due to his sickness lately. Course he would start to put it up as soon as Ichi was coming, shaken his head. “I . . . I think this will do.” He smiled softly, corse some of it he figured would be nice to mix with other stuff later.
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Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 8:07 pm
[20:33] Kisa: Ichi had gotten a christmas tree for them. For his pregnant lover who was beautiful with his small belly. He was decorating the tree cause Christmas was in a few days. "Love do you want to help me decorate it or are you still looking over the wedding stuff?" He asked with a smile. They were going to be wed soon after new years if things went on right like they were planning.
[20:43] Alexina:
Lute was a wreak in his own ways. Normally he would care less about his weight by this . . . belly made him look more and more like a girl to the point some guys would flirt with him some. He had started to keep his hair back more often . . . just for the ease of when the nausea hit and perhaps hoping it pulled off his masculine side more.
Poor Ichi probably heard quite a few times from him the angry mutter of “Never again”. When it was harder potions of the sickness or flirtings. It got to the point Lute actually stopped going to work even to save himself from punching people out for kind words. He was analyzing it all in his head trying to figure how to make the best out of the situation. The tux . . . how would that even look, and he was NOT wearing a dress. Then Ichi’s words snapped him back into reality and he would glance up towards the tree with a confuse questioning look. “I . . . honestly wouldn’t know how. I . . . never really celebrated this holiday before . . . in fact . . . many holidays.” He would glance back to his one remaining black wing. “Demon child and all that.” Course that was just what his father called him.
[20:53] Kisa: Ichi frowned at his words. "Really? Never?" He frowned and moved over to him and knelt infront of him with a smile. "Never a demon child to me my love." he said kissing him. "Please don't call your self that. As for decorating we jsut take the things in this box and put them around the tree how you want. Theres really no way to do it wrong i promise. Do you want to with me or do you want to work on the wedding stuff more?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around Lutes middle and kissed his belly and then kissed his lips again softly. "You will never be anything but the love of my life so don't think so badly of your self."
[20:57] Alexina:
Lute would glance to the tree taken in Ichi’s words and trying to figure it all out. “I can help if you like, there isn’t much more I can do about the wedding after all.” He would glance to the orbs and things in the box before back to the tree. “I just have one question . . . Why?” He smiled cutely to Ichi, surely the tree was beautiful with the lights and such, but it seemed to have no reason. “It’s a unique fashion choice people do but once a year . . . a bit flashy. I just don’t see why? Everything gets more crowded, people get more on edge. Usually I would be hiding out in a cave away from the whole mess of the city.”
[20:58] Alexina: ((lol now tell poor lute about gift given and crap and it being only a few days off *evil grin*))
[21:00] Kisa: Ichi smiled at him and laughed a little. "Im not 100% sure why we do it. But it was always a bonding thing i did with my mom. Theres gifts too if you want to do them. I did get some things but not alot. You can go shopping for me too if you would like. Mom got...lots of stuff for both of us." he said with a smile. "Its just something fun to do to show the people you love that you love them." he said with a smile.
[21:06] Alexina:
“Gifts?” Lute would glance to the window and think about the last time he went out in a crowd like that. Course he was younger but they were ruthless. “What sort of gifts?” He would stand feeling slightly nervous and he moved around the tree planting shiny orbs in well thought out spots. “When are these gifts needed by?” He was hoping it wasn’t tonight obviously. Course he gave Ichi a soft smile after he slowly got the hang of . . . hanging stuff on the tree. “You know . . . I . . . I wouldn’t mind doing more bonding things with you . . . I mean . . . if you don’t . . . mind that is.”
[21:10] Kisa: Ichi smiled and walked to follow him with different colored balls to hang. "You don't have to go out to do the shopping if you want. You can order them online to come to the house. Christmas is on the 25th, so in about a week, but if you get them online then it wont matter if they come in late." He wrapped his arms around lute and smiled. "I'd love to do some bonding things with you. I'll look into more of it ok? What if i teach you some songs on the piano so that we can play together?"
[21:15] Alexina:
Lute of course gave a weak smile when Ichi spoke of online. The kid survived on his own after his father killed his mother. Social skills and things city base weren’t always his strong suits. He knew manners and such because his father was a royal and he did spend some time with his mother after all. But that was all, he was better at catching fish and trapping game. Maybe a bit of pick pocketing, but he always felt guilty when he did that. Course he had to keep money on him someway when he was younger, always needed to make sure you had a little bit of funds at least.
“I don’t really know how to sing.” He muttered perhaps not about to go down that path, his mother probably sung to him off and on . . . but in his eyes he was already too feminine lately as is. “I could teach you how to fish, maybe trap.” He paused wondering if he sounded as barbaric to Ichi as he did to himself. “Or you could teach me about online stuff?”
[21:23] Kisa: Ichi smiled at him and nodded. "You don't need to sing. I'll get some two player piano books and we'll pla songs on the piano together ok? And we'll go teach you the computer so you can order things for me and mom ok? After were done with the tree." he said with a smile as he helped him finish with the decorating.
[21:26] Alexina:
Lute wasn’t so sure about the piano thing, but if that’s what Ichi wanted he wouldn’t protest. Course he did seem to have a slight gleam in his eye as he worked on the tree. Probably just enjoying the beauty of it all. It was rare that he . . . had the chance to make beautiful things. Sure he picked up cheap tricks here and there . . . but there was something magical about this. “So . . . people go wild setting up trees like this, buying gifts, and making their houses flash with lights once a year . . . just to do so?”
[21:30] Kisa: "just to show their love for everyone and everything. I buy you presents cause i love you. But Christmas gies me a very good excuse to make sure i buy lots of them if i want to." he said with a smile as he helped decorate. He couldn't help noticing the happy look he had. He paused and just watched him and loved how beautiful and perfect he looked in his clothes with the belly just starting to show and his beautiful hair and the happy look he had. It was just....jsut beautiful. "Though i wouldn't ever ask for an present but to have you here with me for always." he said as he hugged him happily.
[21:36] Alexina:
Lute couldn’t help break out in laughter as Ichi explained it. “I guess it’s so people like my father behave once a year.” He would smirk leaning against Ichi when his love hugged him. “You see . . . mother used to get all sorts of gifts. And I asked her once why she didn’t give any back.” He glanced to Ichi with a slight teasing smirk. “She told me; only those who need to make up for wrongs, or feel like they aren’t able to hold on need to give.” He would shrug some, he knew his mother loved his father . . . but at heart she was always that type of woman. “That anyone could be made to feel this way, only if they were guilty, and that she does her best not to be.” He glanced back to the tree some shaken his head. “I don’t need anything, if anything; I should probably be the one trying to keep you with such items.” That was Lute’s insecurities talking of course but he just let it be. After all he wasn’t used to sharing with others, and Ichi was one of the few he actually talked to at times.
[21:39] Kisa: Ichi smield as he nuzzled him. "Not how i think about it. I buy gifts cause i love you. If i felt guilty about something i'd do something different depending what i had to feel guilty about. Or i'd talk to you and say sorry and ask you what you wanted me to do. But gifts from me are all about love for you." he said as he nuzzled him. "Do you want to put the angel on top of the tree?"
[21:43] Alexina:
Lute just raised an eyebrow, as if tempting to debate with Ichi, after all it was something his mother had told him. Too Lute she was flawless in her own ways . . . but he decided to just let it drop for now. “So . . . if I love you . . . I need to get you stuff. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that before . . . I’ll try to make up for it.” He had a sly look on his face at that, after all it was a well place trap in his eyes. Course when Ichi mentioned an angel Lute paled a bit and pulled away. Only to realized he meant a doll like replica of one. “No.” He said softly moving a hand to fiddle with the necklace he wore. “You can do it.”
[21:48] Kisa: Ichi laughed softly. "Its just how i look at it. You don't have to get me one present if you don't want to, i'll know you love me any ways. Besides your carrying our babies, thats a better present than i could ever get from anyone. So i know you love me. But i don't need a gift to know that. I just love nothing more then to express my love for you by getting you things." he said with a smile. He took the little toy angel and reached up and put it on top of the tree. It was a custom made one that looked kind of like a female version of Ichi but with angel wings and a robe on. He smiled at it and laughed a little. "That is Angel. She was my twin sister who...didn't make it." he said as he smiled.
[21:51] Alexina:
Lute of course refused to take a good look at it until Ichi spoke of it calling it his sister. Then Lute’s eyes would shoot to it at once a bit confused, studying it carefully. “She . . . she had angel wings as well? . . . like my mom?” He asked softly paling more . . . maybe what his father said was true, his mother was an angel and he was just proof of his sin. “I . . . I didn’t know you had celestial blood.” He said softly seeming slightly worried.
[21:57] Kisa: Ichi smiled and shook his head. "No she didn't. I just had Angel wings put on that for the tree cause of her name. She...died when she came out and mom named her angel cause she was with the angels now. She had wings just like mine. She'll always be my little angel though. Mom was in a hard place for a real long time but she got better. Shes got a tattoo of her on her shoulder." he said as he looked at his love and smiled.
[22:00] Alexina:
Lute glanced to the angel again then slightly back to his own remaining wing. “My father used to call my mother his angel. She said he wanted her all to himself.” He would smile softly and shrug some. Course he had no clue having a child would make the man share her. “If I had two white wings like that . . . I bet it all would be different. Maybe a real halo.” He frowned up at his. “Course mother didn’t even have a halo.”
[22:06] Kisa: Ichi smiled at him and nodded. "I see. Well i like having you all to my self in that no one else can slee with you but if you want friends and people to hang out with then i'm ok with that. And i wont mind sharing you with the kids. You'll always be my lover." he said with a smile.
[22:08] Alexina:
Lute gave Ichi a weak smile before moving to sit down some. “Do you think she was a real angel?” He asked softly glancing down to the ring on his finger. “Or that . . . at least she’s with them now?” Fragments of her, he clung on to all he could of the good moments in his past, course all of that had her in them for the most part. She was what kept him strong, she died so he could live, or he probably wouldn’t have.
[22:11] Kisa: Ichi sat next to him and kissed his face. "I think she was. And that means your part angel too. You'll never be a demon. I'll always love you no matter what." he said as he wrapped his arms around him and smiled. "And i would think shes with them. How she died to keep you alive is more then enough to earn her a spot with the angels."
[22:14] Alexina:
Lute leaned against him obvious in a deep depression thought, shaken his head. “How else do you think demons are made Ichi?” he said softly given his love a gentle look. “By making an angel fall.” He stayed close perhaps for warmth maybe out of support. “I was proof of it, of him ruining something so beautiful.” He said softly as if slightly realizing this for the first time. “Sides, angels don’t have a black wing.”
[22:23] Kisa: Ichi pet his face and smiled. "I'll love you no matter what. And you are perfect to me. Even if you might be part demon or what have you i'll never think of you as anything but my lover and my best friend." he said as he kissed him. "And no matter what your father did to your mother she'll always be an angel to you right?"
[22:27] Alexina:
Lute glanced to Ichi with a weak smile. “Just don’t let me make you fall.” He said with a weak joking voice. Only to listen to his words, moving a hand to run through his hair only to pause remembering it was up. “I don’t think she could ever not be. Her wings were always white . . . even to the very end.” He said softly winching as fake pain from his missing wing was felt only to laugh weakly. “Maybe I’m half angel half demon.” A sick joke for sure. “After all my other wing was white.” That was probably something no one else alive knew besides Lute.
[22:32] Kisa: Ichi smiled at him and kissed him. "Your an angel to me no matter what. And i've done plenty that would make me fall way before i met you. And i'd never call my self an angel of anything." he said with a laugh. "Oh it was was it? Well that might be why your dad took it. reminded him too much of your mom?"
[22:37] Alexina:
Lute reached around to rub his shoulder some as the talked about his missing wing. Glancing to Ichi confused when he gave a random reason on why it was removed. “I . . . I reminded him . . . of her?” There was a bit of hurt in those words, probably because of how much he did look up to her still. He always did wonder why it was ripped from him, and he never was able to ask his mother losing her on the same day. He would give a weak smile shrugging some. “Maybe one of ours will have two white wings.” He said softly actually rubbing his belly some, his smile fading some. “ . . . or two black ones.”
[22:56] Kisa: Ichi smiled and moved a bit to kiss over the mark and scar that he knew was on his loves back and smiled as he nuzzled his neck. "Its a possibility. Is it not? I don't see any other reason. If he had really wanted you dead he would have just ripped you head off right? So i think that one just made him think of your mother." he placed his hands over Lutes on his belly and smiled. "Black or white wings i'll still love them. I'll always love them. I wont care if their feathered wings or natural ones like mine. They will be made of the love we have for each other and that will mean i'll do anything to keep them safe and loved."
[23:01] Alexina:
“He was going to . . .” Lute said softly glancing to Ichi. “Well . . . no, maybe but my head . . . but he was going to kill me.” He would shake his head not wanting to talk about it anymore. The memories alone flickering of his mother’s lovely wings flickered with her own crimson blood . . . or was it his? He gave a weak smile to Ichi before shrugging. “I guess . . . it could be a chance to prove me wrong if they are black. I mean . . . “ He would just go quiet not even sure where he was trying to head.
[23:03] Kisa: Ichi turned the male in his lap gently and kissed him deeply. "No more sad thoughts. Your my love and you have my babies here growin inside you." he said pulling him close and kissing his belly. "I'll love them and you even if they come out with two heads each ok?" he said as he kissed Lute deeply and smiled. "Want to learn the computer now?"
[23:05] Alexina:
Lute would merely give a silent nod, he had a dark past, and it would be hard to get away from it. That was if Lute ever even learned to let go.
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Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 3:29 pm
[18:28] Alexina: Poor Lute couldn’t work due to how sick he got off and on from the smoke and/or perfumes from the bar area. Instead he was semi shut in the apartment. This could have been before he was afraid what others may think seeing him pregnant, or perhaps his way to keep the children inside him safe. Either way it was driving him batty. He seemed to slowly be going more and more silent than what Ichi was used too. Not quite moping persay, but his new favorite spot seemed to be by a window closes to the living area. He would do his best to stay out of Ichi’s way as well knowing the man had his own work or school to do. [18:39] Kisa: Ichi spent alot of time writing or playing the piano. He worked on his home work for his classes too but he grew worried about Lute and what was wrong with him. He played a song for him slowly as he looked over at him in the spot by the window. "Love whats the matter? Come sit with me at the piano and i'll make you feel better love." he said wanting to hold him or just enjoy him while they were at the piano. " [18:39] Kisa: You look beautiful today by the way." [18:49] Alexina: The sky, it was so blue out at times. Over the course of being inside it was one thing that Lute really picked up on, how blue the sky was. Most his life he thought it was gray, or dull, probably projecting more of the feelings in his heart up on then before. Now that he didn’t have much more to do, he realized he was wrong. Sure it shifted to grey, but that blue it came back often. It only made him wish what it was like to be in it, away from the dark shadows of the Earth, and secretly wish his children could all fly happily. It was Ichi’s voice that had pulled him out of his thoughts. Lute would look back at his love with those glowing green eyes as if slightly confused. Taken in the words slowly, as if he might have missed them at first, he hesitated to stand and walk over. Just in case he had heard Ichi wrong, slowly moving to place a hand gently on his lover’s shoulder. He didn’t want to interrupt if Ichi was busy, didn’t want to be in the way, but he was almost sure he was asked to come over. “Do you need something?” It was something Lute had taken too, doing his best to look after Ichi’s need. Which was ironic in ways seeing as Lute was the one pregnant. [18:57] Kisa: Ichi wrapped his arms around hte male and kissed his belly and smiled. "I need you. Now sit with me and let me play this new song i wrote you." he said with a smile as he kissed his face and started playing for him. "Try not to worry about me too much. Im not going to get upset or anything." [18:57] Kisa: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV9xRygsK98 the song [19:06] Alexina: Lute looked a bit confused before managing a slight smile and sitting next to him. Resting his head slightly on Ichi’s shoulder if he knew the male could play like that. He stayed silent as Ichi played, the male always being so creative, so special in his own way. “It’s the least I can do.” Lute said softly afterwards, as if replying to his last comment. Before at least in Lute’s eyes he was helping to pay rent. Now all he could really do was sitting around. The most depressing part was he couldn’t even drink hot tea as much as he liked due to the random attacks of sickness. He felt bad, because that meant he really couldn’t cook much, although at times he did continue to study cooking methods, since Ichi seemed to like when he cooked. Even cleaning supplies messed with him at times, so at most he could just keep the place straightened up. There was a pause as Lute’s gears in his mind turned once more. “What will . . . we do . . . once the children get here?” He had his job of course, and he knew how it would be hard on Ichi if they were left with him. That man had his own work and job to do. In truth Lute didn’t really want to leave them with any strangers out of fear of how they might be treated. Even Ichi’s mom, who was kind . . . well, perhaps Lute was a bit clingy to the children already in ways. [19:26] Kisa: Ichi smiled as he played softly, ranom songs. "Mmm well i think you should just try to be happy. You can go for walks around the block if you want. I'll go with you if you want to. Theres nothing to worry about here. Im not going to get upset about anything you do." he said with a smile. "As fr the kids i can take care of them. When they sleep i'll work on my music and stories and do my home work. I'll take less classes, it wont be a problem. Mom will come help sometimes and my sister can come by sometimes to to help. But mostly me." [19:29] Alexina: Lute merely shook his head when Ichi spoke of the outside world. He wanted to go out, just not like this. What little smile he may have had faded when Ichi spoke of the kids and less classes. Sitting up straight Lute gently moved both hands to gentle grab Ichi’s closes arm before shaken his head. “I won’t allow it.” Stern yet soft words. “I won’t let you change the joys in your life because of me.” [19:35] Kisa: Lutes word were adorable and he smiled as he kissed him. "You are my joy in the world. And the kids will be too. I will not let school get in the way of being with my children. I wont be upset about it at all. I'll love it more then anything really. Spending time with them. I'll teach them till they go to school. It will be wonderful and i'll be so happy. I wont be upset about it at all." he said kissing him and holding him close. [19:40] Alexina: Lute gave a cute surprised look at that, followed by that shy look he got at times. He allowed Ichi to hold and kiss him, and in truth he was probably not expecting someone to feel like that about any child of his. Haunting past, maybe Elisa was right, he should go see someone to try to fix his thoughts at times. The thoughts of teaching their children would bring an actually bright and cute smile to his face. Smiling was always rare for him, it was probably what made him that much more cute when he did so. “I wonder what I can teach them.” There was a pause and he would place a hand to his stomach. “Promise me . . . that you will teach them to fly?” That seemed important to Lute for some reason, almost as if it was the most important thing they could learn. [19:47] Kisa: Ichi smiled at him and laughed as he pulled Lute into his lap and rubbed his belly. "You can teach them anything you want. You can use any books i have to help you. If theres something you wanna teach more then id be happy to let you do it." he said with a smile [19:47] Kisa: . [19:52] Alexina: Lute gave a cute yelp when Ichi suddenly pulled the boy into his lap. Sure Ichi did this a lot but it was always something Lute was embarrassed of, probably never could get used to. He still allowed his lover to do so since it seem to make him happy. Lute’s eyes when to the books shelf as if considering, he could teach them to fight easily. But that wasn’t something he wanted his children to HAVE to know. Lute was a genius in ways he could probably learn anything he put his mind too, but that didn’t mean he knew lots of things. He paused feeling foolish for asking but truly wondering himself. “What is it, that children need to learn?” [20:39] Kisa: sorry got distracted lol [20:39] Alexina: razz [20:42] Kisa: Lute was too cute for words. nuzzling him he smiled happily and kissed his face. "Your adorable. And Kids at first need to learn how to talk and walk and comunicate. How to drink for them selves and how to eat. Its not too hard when you learn from them what they want and how they comunicte till they can talk." [20:46] Alexina: Lute gave a confused look at that, it made sense and he sorta knew that much. He was an outsider, anti-social usually though so he was never around many children before. He would be there when he could, doing whatever he needed when they time came. Poor guy probably wasn’t even planning any time to recover. He wondered if he could have his children enjoy the world unlike him. That he could get the world to be at least kind to them. His eyes went to the door, he would have to get out there more if that was the case. Now all that was left was a safe way for him to so, slowly he would flex his only wing. “I may need to change some of my outfits some.”
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