So I noticed something with my Step-dad recently.

[Esiris]

Fuuta De La Stella

1st I'd like to ask how I am being disrespectful to straight people? I am just saying that you said you know people who are 100% straight then said it was rare, so that'd be either really lucky or your lying,

Lucky- really. 1 Roommate I know is 100% straight and a psych course I took did a practical on arousal compared to the Kinsey scale using volunteer students age 18-50, 124 AMAB and 187 AFAB, then asked what gender and orientation they identified as and what they rated themselves on the Kinsey Scale. Yeah- they're rare, but knowing some of them when you know thousands of people isn't impossible. rolleyes

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and actually I can say that I find no arousal what so ever in girls. I may be young, but it doesn't mean I haven't tried to do stuff with girls and guys.

Trying stuff and not getting anywhere isn't the same as clinical tests for arsoual. rolleyes

And how you're disrespecting them is by denying their existence- just like some straights deny homosexuality by saying "Oh- sure, if you find the right woman you'd be straight for her" is disrespectful to you- saying there's no such thing as a 100% straight man is disrespectful to them. Erasers and marginalization isn't ok- no matter who the target is.  

[noigel]

You should talk to your mother about this.. This has to stop. :T I know if I had a step-dad who did that kind of stuff to me, my mom would drop him like a hotrock.  

[SadaKiyo]

noigel

You should talk to your mother about this.. This has to stop. :T I know if I had a step-dad who did that kind of stuff to me, my mom would drop him like a hotrock.

Oh my mother knows and she won't leave him because she is afraid she won't keep my little sister because of my step-dad's family...Not to mention they'd have to file for divorce :/  

[noigel]

Fuuta De La Stella

noigel

You should talk to your mother about this.. This has to stop. :T I know if I had a step-dad who did that kind of stuff to me, my mom would drop him like a hotrock.

Oh my mother knows and she won't leave him because she is afraid she won't keep my little sister because of my step-dad's family...Not to mention they'd have to file for divorce :/

Well she needs to talk to HIM then. > o>  

[SadaKiyo]

noigel

Fuuta De La Stella

noigel

You should talk to your mother about this.. This has to stop. :T I know if I had a step-dad who did that kind of stuff to me, my mom would drop him like a hotrock.

Oh my mother knows and she won't leave him because she is afraid she won't keep my little sister because of my step-dad's family...Not to mention they'd have to file for divorce :/

Well she needs to talk to HIM then. > o>

Yea, but he doesn't listen to people :/  

[Taeryyn]

Yes, the OP is being so disrespectful. rolleyes Right.

Regardless of whether I agree with him or not, I find the implication and prolonged argument that his stepfather is somehow aroused by his sexuality (and is therefore acting out in homophobic anger) to be in extremely poor taste.

But hey, that's just my opinion. Don't let empathy or tact get in the way of your statistics and studies. razz

OP: In light of the situation, as horrible as it sounds, I would suggest trying your best to stay out of his way. His behaviour is not acceptable, and if you could get your mother to intervene, that would be wonderful. I sincerely hope she, or another family member, is able to help you out. If not (speaking from my own experience), start getting ready to be out of there as soon as you can. sad Sometimes there isn't anything you can do but hang in there.  

[BSPBleach]

Fuuta De La Stella

BSPBleach

its a law here too that it has to leave a mark to be abuse. mums always careful not to. anyways.....ive heard of something like child services here that'll like make a court case or something if a parent is terrorizing you. dunno if those work.......but maybe its worth a shot?

Ah same here...actually I had a friend tell me of a way to his a child with a hammer without them being physically damaged...so there is always away around it and child services only does it if its traumatizing to me. Which it isn't, its just a huge a** annoyance.

well yeah child services is useless.  

[BleedingInkXIII]

Fuuta De La Stella

Yea it does really suck...my mother doesn't even believe I'm gay either.

Yea, I know but the councilor I have isn't someone I trust in the slightest.

Yea, I guess that could be it, and yea. He is like the stereotypical red neck/white trash. Plus he just gets meaner and meaner to you if he doesn't succeed because he has no patience and if you argue with him he won't listen to you...

Oh I know right? I couldn't take half the classes I wanted to in middle school because of my step-dad asking if I was gay or not...I wanted to take up knitting and cooking, but I couldn't because "only girls cook and knit" which is bs to me.

Yea, true.

Perhaps you want to seek a psychologist's help for your dad's behavior?

It really just amazes, hot low some people can be. B/ Maybe Karma will catch up to him one day, and he'll regret everything mean he's done to you.

I dont take those classes myself, but I guess they'd be very useful in life. Better than physics, at least. XD I can understand people thinking knitting is a girl thing, but cooking? Lots of chefs are male. Your dad should go check the kitchens of his favorite restuarant and see how many cooks are dudes. Nothing wrong with making food. =__=

And remember that saying you hear pretty much anywhere: It gets better. It's said a lot because it's true (for the most part).  

[SadaKiyo]

DeathStarXII

Fuuta De La Stella

Yea it does really suck...my mother doesn't even believe I'm gay either.

Yea, I know but the councilor I have isn't someone I trust in the slightest.

Yea, I guess that could be it, and yea. He is like the stereotypical red neck/white trash. Plus he just gets meaner and meaner to you if he doesn't succeed because he has no patience and if you argue with him he won't listen to you...

Oh I know right? I couldn't take half the classes I wanted to in middle school because of my step-dad asking if I was gay or not...I wanted to take up knitting and cooking, but I couldn't because "only girls cook and knit" which is bs to me.

Yea, true.

Perhaps you want to seek a psychologist's help for your dad's behavior?

It really just amazes, hot low some people can be. B/ Maybe Karma will catch up to him one day, and he'll regret everything mean he's done to you.

I dont take those classes myself, but I guess they'd be very useful in life. Better than physics, at least. XD I can understand people thinking knitting is a girl thing, but cooking? Lots of chefs are male. Your dad should go check the kitchens of his favorite restuarant and see how many cooks are dudes. Nothing wrong with making food. =__=

Yea, like he'd go to a psychologist. That man only thinks insane people go (it doesn't help I go to therapy)

Yea, I know and yea I guess karma would do that. But then again, my father wouldn't still be alive if that was true...


Well see I have always wanted to knit and be able to make clothing and stuff like that. It is nice to me. Though yea, I think cooking and knitting would be more useful then physics, UNLESS you happen to have a job that needs that. I don't understand how either could be counted as girl things...my best friend is like the best knitter ever and he's a straight male, and yea, like I said before stereotypical white trash/red neck. He is the type of people who believe its women's jobs to be in the kitchen :/  

[BleedingInkXIII]

Fuuta De La Stella

Yea, like he'd go to a psychologist. That man only thinks insane people go (it doesn't help I go to therapy)

Yea, I know and yea I guess karma would do that. But then again, my father wouldn't still be alive if that was true...


Well see I have always wanted to knit and be able to make clothing and stuff like that. It is nice to me. Though yea, I think cooking and knitting would be more useful then physics, UNLESS you happen to have a job that needs that. I don't understand how either could be counted as girl things...my best friend is like the best knitter ever and he's a straight male, and yea, like I said before stereotypical white trash/red neck. He is the type of people who believe its women's jobs to be in the kitchen :/

Perhaps knocking him out would help? twisted

Well. One less waste of space in the world is how I see it. :]

I have a whole group pf freinds that knit and crochet, but they do happen to be girls. They're not that girly, though...And it is pretty handy. They knit me a scarf once. :3

Wow, I seem to want your step father to get hit by a bus more and more...(Hey Karma, if I pay you five bucks, will you make it happen?)  

[Esiris]

Taeryyn

Yes, the OP is being so disrespectful. rolleyes Right.

This comes across as basically saying that Allies don't deserve the same respect and protection from the LGBT community that the LGBT community asks of straights- that's why it's disrespectful.

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Regardless of whether I agree with him or not, I find the implication and prolonged argument that his stepfather is somehow aroused by his sexuality (and is therefore acting out in homophobic anger) to be in extremely poor taste.

But hey, that's just my opinion. Don't let empathy or tact get in the way of your statistics and studies. razz

I'm a big fan of facts- and it's not "his son's" sexuality that's the issue, it's the father's. But hey- I think if people looked at facts- like homophobes are aroused by homosexual erotica and that homosexuality, bisexuality etc are all perfectly natural and have positive benefits for society- there'd be a lot less hate and a lot more objectivity.

I also don't think Truth is ever in poor taste- but hey, don't let objective evidence get in the way of backhanded insults and sarcasm.  

[Taeryyn]

Esiris

Taeryyn

Yes, the OP is being so disrespectful. rolleyes Right.

This comes across as basically saying that Allies don't deserve the same respect and protection from the LGBT community that the LGBT community asks of straights- that's why it's disrespectful.

Then we interpret it differently. I don't believe he is being out of line.

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I'm a big fan of facts- and it's not "his son's" sexuality that's the issue, it's the father's. But hey- I think if people looked at facts- like homophobes are aroused by homosexual erotica and that homosexuality, bisexuality etc are all perfectly natural and have positive benefits for society- there'd be a lot less hate and a lot more objectivity.

I also don't think Truth is ever in poor taste- but hey, don't let objective evidence get in the way of backhanded insults and sarcasm.

There is a time and place for arguing about studies. Regardless of the truth of what you're saying, I find your post considerably more disrespectful than anything he's said. Just a matter of opinion.

An advice thread where the OP is talking about an abusive home situation? Probably not the best place to lecture about the roots of homophobia.  

[Esiris]

Taeryyn

Then we interpret it differently. I don't believe he is being out of line.

So saying Straight Allies aren't actually Straight is acceptable?

Quote:

There is a time and place for arguing about studies. Regardless of the truth of what you're saying, I find your post considerably more disrespectful than anything he's said. Just a matter of opinion.

I think denying the sexual identity of someone is pretty out of line myself- no matter who the target is.

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An advice thread where the OP is talking about an abusive home situation? Probably not the best place to lecture about the roots of homophobia.

Understanding homophobia and where it comes from is a good tool in learning how to deal with it in others.  

[Taeryyn]

Esiris

So saying Straight Allies aren't actually Straight is acceptable?

It would seem that's how you're apparently taking the whole thing, but no, that's not what I said or what I think.

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Understanding homophobia and where it comes from is a good tool in learning how to deal with it in others.

We agree in principal then, if not on the method of delivery.  

[Esiris]

Taeryyn

It would seem that's how you're apparently taking the whole thing, but no, that's not what I said or what I think.

If it seems like I put words in your mouth- I apologize. I didn't think you thought that- but he said "There isn't a way for someone to be 100% straight" and that's why I think he is being disrespectful. I'm sitting in my living room with my good friend and he's basically saying that the guy not 3 feet away from me is either deluded, a liar or doesn't exist because in his mind "There isn't a way for someone to be 100% straight."

To me- that's really disrespectful.

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We agree in principal then, if not on the method of delivery.

I really only have 1 method since it's an online forum. All I can do is educate- part of that is providing information and part of that is explaining why some objections to that information doesn't make logical sense.