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 Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 10:57 pm
"Just leave everything to me," Izaya told Aila in a quieter, calmer tone, as if guessing at her thoughts by reading her subtle changes in expression. "You really should learn to rely on others more, Aila-chan. Remember how I helped you in the old days? You should know you can come to me for assistance."
Trainee Nakura giggled lightly at Luciole's defiance of her trainer. "That's a troublesome little tyke you've got there. I'd have thought you'd have her disciplined enough to stop acting like a toddler and defying orders, but I guess with you working yourself to death, that isn't really an option."
Impressed by Aila's resourcefulness in getting her pokemon to obey her command, laughing as the Jirachi disappeared. "Poor thing. It seemed so eager, too. Clever, though; very clever. I guess that's why you're its guardian. Even if you don't really have the time or patience to go around playing 'mommy'." He pushed a button for the infirmary level.
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 9:38 am
"I asked for your help because I didn't have the resources to do it on my own," she replied, her own voice similarly hushed, steeped in fatigue. Though she detested the thought of being hefted about like a child, she had spent the majority of the day either on her feet or otherwise upright, and she found her present circumstances surprisingly warm and comfortable. Though mere moments prior the thought was the furthest from her mind, all she wanted now was to sleep. "Besides," she continued, refusing to accept or admit to that drowsiness, "last I heard, I was supervising you. I'd prefer not to rely on the individual who's meant to be relying on me." She would prefer not to rely on anyone ever. Trusting was one thing, but relying was another matter entirely. Reliance entailed entrusting one's very well-being to another, and the only she gave that responsibility were her pokemon. Humans had too many ulterior motives to invest that level of confidence.
"I'm working on it," she said in a tone that recognized she still had a ways to go with the Jirachi. "She's not usually so disobedient. I think she took a liking to you." More than simply wanting to come along, Luciole had seemed most eager to follow Izaya.
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 10:47 pm
The older man giggled girlishly at his guardian agent's reply. "You can still supervise me while I'm taking care of you. From what I understand, you spent most of your relationship with your mother playing reverse roles," he added slyly in low tones. "It's about time you let someone else be the parent."
With a hearty sigh, Nakura shook his head as the elevator doors opened and he stepped out into the hallway. "You silly little girl. Without having spent a proper childhood, how can you claim to have grown up?" Rather than continuing down the hall, however, he paused to meet Aila's gaze and smiled wearily. "Think of it this way. You're supervising me, yes, but it's because of my actions which I and only I was in control of. If I choose to step out of line again, sure, I'll pay the price, but so will you. And, judging by our standing in rank, you're likely to have more to lose, regardless of the scary impressions they give me of my consequences."
He hoisted Aila a bit higher, not used to using his muscles for such strenuous activities, but determined not to let her fall. "Thus," he continued, "like it or not, you're the one who's already relying on me - in that one aspect of behaving myself if nothing else." Leaning down closer until they were touching foreheads, he whispered in a coy manner, "So why don't you shift a bit more of the weight off your shoulders and just let me help you some more?"
At the mention of Luciole taking a liking to him, Izaya blinked, not having anticipated such behavior. He'd expected the creature to have acted like that against any and all other humans it came across. Was it because he'd complimented it? Surely it couldn't have been anything more complex than that. After all, they'd just met. "Maybe it's just worried for your well-being," he replied with a smirk.
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:24 am
"My mother was the exception, not the rule," Aila said, mildly annoyed with as much as the thought of the woman. "Besides, she fulfilled at least some expectations. I learned to speak and walk under her care. I learned dance, song, and art, and I learned to carry myself as a noble should." She'd also learned vengeance, hatred, and, recently, the pain of being deceived and manipulated toward an end that benefited no one. "At any rate, my mother has little to do with this." And, frankly, discussing it any further would only serve to anger her.
The interjection naming her a 'silly little girl' earned a glare that was surprisingly sharp, given the general dullness of her overall well-being at the moment. "I should hope you wouldn't throw your life away just to strike a blow against me. Those 'scary impressions' aren't just threats, you know. They're guarantees." And if he really did deign to go that far, she wouldn't have any complaints against being the last person to be responsible for him.
She closed her eyes - if only because it was dizzying to try and focus on an object so near to her face - and breathed a quiet sigh, "I'll think about it, if it'll make you happy." She promised neither to think about it for very long nor to come to an agreeable conclusion, but she didn't have the energy to argue the matter any further.
"She doesn't really know enough about normality to be worried over anything," Aila countered, thoughts wandering back to the Jirachi and hoping it had settled quietly into its nap. "She followed you, didn't she? She doesn't follow people she doesn't like."
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 4:23 pm
"Those things she taught you - besides the default speaking and walking - are pretty much useless to you now. You know that as well as I do," he said. "And fine. If she was the exception, then name at least two other parental figures you've relied on. As parents."
Chuckling at the vicious glare he had earned in return for the nickname, Nakura gave her a crafty look. "Come now; I'm not so spiteful as to value getting at someone above my own life. I'm just saying that you're already relying on me at least as much as I'm relying on you, if not more. Besides," he added as an afterthought, "I've talked and slipped my way out of some pretty sticky situations before. When it comes to life and death, I'm not above doing whatever it takes to survive."
Smiling triumphantly as Aila closed her eyes and seemed to relax at least a little, he continued toward the infirmary beds where he could set her down and she would be watched until she had obtained a sufficiently healthy amount of rest. The mention of Luciole had gotten him thinking again and he murmured, mostly to himself, "I probably should have just ignored her while I still had the chance..." He frowned. "It - or she seemed like she would have followed anyone as long as they didn't give her a reason to dislike them. And it seems to me like it'd have to be something pretty drastic, considering her mentality."
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 5:53 pm
A moment of quiet thought, and then a reply, "Marcus, Elliot, Isaac, and Alice." If nostalgia could be named, it would take one of those. It had been ages since Aila had even thought about the group, let alone spoken of them. They were memories that served only to reinforce what she now knew as truth. "They were only slightly older than myself, but they were certainly more parents than my mother ever was, Marcus especially. They taught me to speak English, helped me to learn about Camphoreon and Kodo, looked after my treatment if I was injured, saw to it that I would have a meal even if my mother provided none..." Though the words she spoke seemed fond and nostalgic in nature, her voice lacked a matching intonation. Things between herself and the group had obviously ended poorly, and it was easily inferred that said poor ending was what had spurred her into self-reliance in the first place. "I believe they would fit the general description of a parental figure." Or at least as close to one as she could imagine.
A dismissive huff, "I should hope not." She could understand going to great lengths to make a point, but expending one's life in the process just seemed unnecessary. "I would say I'm more relying on myself to keep your assignments at a level of frequency and intensity that you have neither the time nor the willpower to expend the effort necessary to do something stupid enough to merit reprimand a second time, but I imagine you would argue against that as well."
Even without opening her eyes, the scent and temperature of the infirmary were painfully familiar - almost literally - after spending the better part of two months in the quiet rooms. She really didn't want to be there again, wasting time again, but even she could tell she wasn't in a fit state to fight back. "She's actually rather shy, I've found. She's very particular about who she approaches and follows. I would imagine your standard sunny disposition appealed to her." The Jirachi didn't seem to have any concept of who was or wasn't trustworthy beyond who smiled more.
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 6:56 pm
At first he thought the named ones may have been pokemon, but as Aila went on about how they taught her to speak English and such, he thought it safe to assume that was not the case. It interested him to hear of her speak in such tender and fond tones. Clearly these were people who meant much to her. He wondered why he had not heard of her mention them before. From the sound of it, he doubted they were of Team Rocket. "Fair enough," he replied. "But where are they now?"
A sigh. "Aila-chan, for the hundredth time, I wasn't trying to 'merit reprimand'. At least not at first. He started it," the trainee claimed. "But as you obviously still believe him over me, I guess my argument is in vain."
"...Shy? Are you sure we're talking about the same pokemon?" Nakura questioned. He seated himself beside Aila's bed to wait until a medic came around that he could explain her stubborn condition to. "She came up to me without a sound while I was reading. I almost hit her impulsively in self-defense." The brunette scratched his head curiously. "What sort of people does she approach? Just whoever seems cheerful?" If that was the case, it was cute - in a naive, ignorant sort of way.
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:01 pm
"Who knows?" she answered irritably. "They could be dead for all I know." She turned her head slightly, perhaps in an effort to situate herself more comfortably, or perhaps out of a want to keep her bitter, almost disgusted expression from view. She didn't have a single desire in her heart to see those people again in all her life.
"I believe my own judgment, between what I know of Seth's character, what I know of your character, and what I heard from eye witnesses in the tech department," she corrected, "but this doesn't mean your argument is any less in vain." She'd already quite made up her mind on the matter.
An amused sound responded his to skepticism as she drew an arm up across her eyes in an instinctive defense against a renewed headache. "She's curious and eager to learn, but yes, shy. She was probably quiet because she was worried about what kind of person you would be, probably came up to you because she thought you looked interested in whatever you were reading. And if you spoke nicely to her after, of course she would warm up quickly. She's like a child." The Jirachi practically was a child, really, given the approximate length of her existence. It was off-putting at times. "I try not to let her go off on her own, so I'm not really sure if she has a preference or a standard for who she does or doesn't approach, though..."
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:58 pm
"Ohhh, bitter topic," Izaya sneered. "Pardon me for asking." Well, that explained why she no longer liked to rely on people. She'd already tried it and evidently it hadn't ended well. How she had learned to work as a team within the Rocket organization, then, though, was a mystery to him. Perhaps she had learned to rely on other people the bare minimum in strictly cooperative situations without any emotional attachment.
Snickering, he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, observing her with amusement. "It's amazing how frustratingly stubborn you can be on certain topics. I enjoy it. Such a vicious, dark sense of humor. It must pertain to your passive-aggressiveness. That's something you need to work on."
"Which reminds me," he added as Luciole was brought up, "How did she manage to escape you in the first place? Don't you keep her in her ball?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:28 pm
A quiet hum was her only acknowledgment of the concession. It wasn't that it was a bitter topic, per se... Well, yes, it was. But it was an old scar - figuratively and literally - and wasting thoughts on the matter would do her absolutely no benefit.
She moved her arm just enough to regard the trainee with a dubious glance. "And who on earth are you talking about, passive-aggressive? I'm sure I've made it very clear when I'm not happy with you. I'll give you stubborn - granted, I think it's an important quality to have and goes better by the name 'determination' - but passive-aggressive?" She wasn't really sure what to think of that. It wasn't a claim that had ever been made against her before, and it was a surprise to hear.
The question of Luciole's pokeball was a much more expected response and was fittingly much easier to respond to, "Mm, well, you saw how quiet she is. She doesn't like her pokeball, so I leave her out. From what I've observed, she's afraid of the dark. If you put her in a dark place, she'll actually start glowing, but since she can't illuminate her pokeball that way it scares her." And the last thing she needed was for a legendary pokemon to be anxious, fearful, and distrusting of her.
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 4:54 pm
The trainee leaned forward in his seat, leaning his elbows on his knees as he draped his arms across his thighs. "Oh, anger's not the quality I'm talking about," he snickered. "It's the fear of dependency, as well as the fear of intimacy. Passive-aggressive people are not known for their ability to trust others, so they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to people. Any psychology book could tell you that - including the manual you had me read."
Again, Nakura seemed dubious. "Quiet? Around you maybe. She was humming some French song all the way to your dorm using telepathy and making it impossible for me to shut her out. I couldn't hear myself think." Afraid of the dark, hmm? That would be something to keep in mind. "It must be a heck of a problem to sleep without lights on and a glowing pokemon in the room," he murmured. "Is that your excuse for keeping up? Ah?"
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 5:21 pm
A laughing breath. "You think I'm afraid of reliance? I suppose that would explain your allegations." A long, quiet sigh signified a wordless thoughtfulness before her reply. "'If you want a job done right, you do it yourself.' You're familiar with this saying, yes? I'm not afraid of depending on someone; I just better know my own motives, intentions, and abilities than I do anyone else's. As for this supposed fear of intimacy," a meaningful pause and a sidelong glance, "I believe you said yourself that no one extends a helping hand to another without an ulterior motive. Rather than cowardice, I'd call it intelligence."
Ah, so the Jirachi was internalizing the music she heard as vocabulary... That had the potential to prove troublesome if it distracted her from picking up on actual vocabulary, and Aila made a mental note to keep the legendary from frequent access to music. "She moves quietly, though, when she wants to. You said she sneaked up on you?" It was an amusing thought, and she wished in part that she had had the opportunity to watch. "As for the glowing, it doesn't really bother me, actually. I'm used to sleeping in more uncomfortable situations than with a dim light in the background. Honestly, what's keeping me up..." A pause, a sigh. "Well, it doesn't really matter one way or another." It didn't matter, and it was unnecessary to say.
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 5:38 pm
"Ah, ah, ah!" he said, wagging a finger at her. "I said dependence. That's difference from reliance. At least reliance is only every once in a while. Dependence is more like having a shoulder to lean on whenever you need one. A constant shoulder." He leaned back and spread his arms out, sighing. "As far as that saying goes, I guess I can't argue with you there."
He cast her a snarky grin. "Using my words against me? Heh, that may be true enough, but you speak of it as if I were pointing out a flaw. No matter what you call it - cowardice, intelligence, fear of intimacy - it doesn't change the fact that it's who you are. I respect it myself; really, I do. I think it's foolish to become intimate with anyone, and cowardice has always served me well in matters of survival." He paused, as if contemplating something.
"But you know, this sounds an awful lot like you're going to end up just like me. I like being excluded and alone - it gives me a chance to observe people and see the bigger picture rather than involving myself with them and getting caught up in a one-sided little world." His crimson irises flickered to her face in bed. "The question is, does a pretty young lady like you - raised as nobility at that - plan to spend the rest of your life alone as well?"
"'When she wants to'. That's like saying a baby can be quiet - 'when it wants to'. It's usually so busy trying to draw attention to itself and get what it wants, though, that that's rarely ever put into effect." Okay, true, so she sneaked up on him. That had been mildly disconcerting, but he made a mental note not to let it happen again. Once the Jirachi had opened her mouth, though - metaphorically speaking, of course - she hadn't seemed to be able to shut up. Then again, if he were a pokemon with no method of communication other than telepathy, he probably would have been yakking his telepathic mouth off himself.
"Eh? Oi, no keeping secrets. You've already started. What is it?" he asked, suddenly realizing Aila was bringing up an important topic. What could possibly have been unsettling enough to keep the workaholic agent from sleep? It was likely something work-related, as usual, but still, was it something in particular?
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 6:23 pm
"Do I strike you as such a fragile person that I would need such constant availability of this figurative shoulder?" The very idea was mildly offending. "I'm content to be independent because I have no need to be dependent. Dependency is unnecessary. I don't eat when I'm not hungry. I don't depend on others when there's no call for it. If you don't think it's a flaw for me to live in such a manner, then I don't understand why you're so adamant about convincing me to change my ways."
She considered his words as he said them, though something about his closing question gave rise to a subtle irritation. "I assume you're seeing me as a 17-year-old girl," she concluded, "someone who's supposed to be watching movies with a group of friends or fawning over some boyfriend or fantasizing over Arceus-knows-what I think my future should be. I'm not a 17-year-old girl, Izaya. I'm a thief, a murderer, and a respected officer in a criminal organization. I've been planning to live the rest of my life alone for years, and I'll be nothing but perfectly surprised if this plan doesn't proceed as I expect it." It was a depressing thought at times, but she didn't imagine one had much of a life expectancy in Team Rocket anyway.
"Mm, fair enough." It was true that once the Jirachi started, it was difficult to make her stop, especially when she was in a good mood and around perceived good company - reinforcing Aila's suspicions that the legendary had taken a liking to the trainee. She didn't know which of the two to pity more.
It doesn't matter. But then, she had a sinking feeling that her company had much more capacity to be painfully stubborn at the moment. Nonetheless, the length of silence preceding her reply might have lead the listener to believe she planned to simply ignore the question. At length, she responded, "I don't want you to be killed because they think you're insubordinate and useless. I know it's not the most likely possibility at the moment, but the fact that it's a possibility at all--" --kept her up at night.
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:23 pm
"You're being defensive again," Izaya pointed out. "I never said you needed it. I said you have a fear of needing it. Do you deny it? Though I think the fact that you just assumed I said you needed it verifies that fact in itself." Laughing aloud, he rocked back in his chair slightly. "You're preaching to the choir, Aila-chan. However, I think you're so obsessed in convincing yourself that you don't need dependency that you fail to realize the contradiction you've gotten yourself into."
He rested his chin on his palm. "Why are you part of Team Rocket if you're so insistent on working independently?" Looking down at his nails, he inspected them as if bored. "Just because you don't think you're hungry doesn't mean your body isn't. The same goes for needing human contact. And sleep. Just because you can go without it doesn't mean you should. But nevermind that~ I'm not here to lecture."
"Hmm? Well, yeah, that's what any normal girl your age would be doing," he agreed. "You may be a thief, a murderer, a respected officer, and all those other things, Aila-chan. But that doesn't change the fact that you're still a 17-year-old girl. Are you happy with these plans of yours?" he asked, getting up. "They don't sound like anything anyone would choose for themselves. Even a Rocket Agent like you has a wider variety of options in life than living alone forever. Besides," he snickered, "life has a way of screwing up plans."
Walking around her bed out of restlessness, Nakura leaned against the foot of it to listen more attentively. He waited with the patience of someone who absoultely would not take no for an answer. However, upon hearing said answer, he nearly slipped and fell off the foot of the bed. "Ehhhh?!" Getting up, he blinked at her in astonishment. "Is that all? Aila-chan - " he began, chuckling a little to try to hide his surprise, "since when did you become so sensitive to the possibility of another's death?"
He suspected it might have had to do with the little girl she'd murdered, but that had been different. That little girl had been directly related to her. What connection did she have to him other than being his recruiter and previous client? Perhaps the fact that she had murdered her niece had simply made her that much more valuing of human life. He couldn't imagine it had anything to do with him specifically. After all, he was Izaya Orihara. He had no friends. His own sisters would have happily pushed him into the street to die if it meant they got to see their favorite idol.
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