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Cobra_X
Captain

Aged Gaian

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:13 pm


I'm resubmitting this since the other copy is so far back... Could I please get at least the current summons looked at, knowing that the A-ranked summons have not yet been developed?

I know it's a lot, but it's been left unresolved for so long and it's an integral part of one of my character's abilities.

It would be much appreciated... thanks!

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{This is a continuing work in progress}


Dragon Contract
Mythical, Versatile, Synchronized

User Image


Description: The Dragon Summoning Contract is not for the feint of heart to acquire or go head to head with. Each summon is a mythical creature which not only has it's own unique abilities, but also has a synchronization effect with it's summoner, boosting the summoner's abilities as long as the summon remains active. This helps the summoner to remain versatile amidst a constantly changing battlefield, but summoning such creatures requires a substantial pool of chakra which can be quite taxing, even to those with high chakra values.

Rules:
- Dragon Summons can only be attained for the user's current rank, so if the user is a Genin, they can only access Genin-rank summons.
- All Dragon summons must be learned from the Dragon Sage NPC, or from a summoner of at least Jounin rank.
- All Dragon summons last for only 3 posts, after which the summon poofs away and all synchronized effects dissipate.
- Only one Dragon can be active on the field at a time and the summoner must wait 2 posts in between un-summoning a current summon and summoning a new summon.

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Related Jutsus:

Techniques available to all (choose one: summons and their summoners/summoners/summons)


Name: Kuchiyose no jutsu
Rank: D - S
[Training Rank: B]
Range: Close
Description: This technique is what calls forth each summon from the Land of Dragons into the summoner's command. The cost of the technique depends on the summon called. Summoning requires a blood sacrifice of significant flow, at least a full slice across the palm of the hand. This sacrifice of blood costs 5 stamina on top of the chakra cost attached to each dragon.

Name: Reverse Kuchiyose no jutsu
Rank: B
[Training Rank: N/A]
Range: Close
Description: This is a technique that the summons themselves know rather then the summoner. Any Dragon summon capable of using hand seals can Reverse Summon the summoner from their current location to wherever the summon happens to be. this effect is instantaneous, but the summoner has a 10 second warning that this will occur before being transported.



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Summonings:


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Name: Pet Dragon
Rank: D
[Training rank: Genin]
Description: The smallest of all all the dragon summons, these little guys are often seen as a pet to most summoners. As such, every Dragon Contract owner summons their own, and once they do, it is bound to them forever, sharing their master's own primary chakra element and chakra color. This makes them a rather personal summon, though every pet dragon has it's own personality traits. This can often lead to interesting interactions between summoner and summon as they are not always immediately agreeable.

No larger then the average adult's hand, the maximum wingspan of these mini dragons is about 10 inches to a foot, and the average total length is around 15 inches (tip of the nose, to tip of the tail). Color also varies greatly amongst the dragon pets, often matching that of the user's own chakra color, but not always. It weighs little more then 3 pounds at the heaviest. It's claws and teeth are sharp, but can cause little more then scratches or small puncture wounds on the skin.

Height - 6 - 8 in.
Length - 15 in.
Wing Span - 10 - 12 in.
Weight - 3 lbs.


Special Abilities:

Flight - (Passive, Summon) - The Pet Dragon can fly at the same passive speed it's master can run.

Synchronize - (Passive, Summoner) - The Pet Dragon and it's master share a permanent psychic link which allows them to communicate perfectly without the need for any words.


Related Jutsus

Name: Miniature Henge
Rank: D
Range: Personal
Description: This functions just as the regular Henge works, but on a smaller scale. This allows the pet dragon to change it's relative size to access small areas that his master never could, or that his normal proportions would not allow (The smallest it can make itself is 1/2 of it's normal size)

Name: Jutsu Synchronize
Rank: D
Range: Varies
Description: Using this technique, the Pet Dragon can reproduce any E-rank ninjutsu it's summoner knows.


Summon's Total Chakra: 15 chakra points

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Name: Palax
Rank: D
[Training rank: Genin]
Description: Palax is known as the Guardian, the Protector, the Shield... and all for good reason. A somewhat unique dragon, Palax feels an intense connection with her summoners and is dedicated to their well being, always watchful, never straying far from their side. She is friendly and always playful, but fiercely protective of those that call on her aid, quickly turning angry with anyone who would harm her master, either physically, or emotionally. She will move to defend at a moment's notice, not often waiting for the sanction of her master before acting against any perceived threat.

Somewhat large as compared to the other lower dragon summons, Palax is about 4 feet in length (from tip of her horns to the tip of her tail) and weighs about 20 pounds. Her wingspan however is massive, spanning about 10 feet wide from tip to tip and 6 feet tall, making her capable of wrapping her wings completely around herself and an average sized human, covering them both from all sides. Her claws, horns, and teeth are all surprisingly dull for a dragon, making them completely non-combat effective, but this makes sense as sharp claws would be more likely to harm her summoner as she never leaves their side, and constantly latches onto them.

Height - 5 - 6 ft. (wing size height)
Length - 4 ft.
Wing Span - 10 ft
Weight - 20 lbs.


Special Abilities:

Flight - (Passive, Summon) - Palax can fly quite well, but it never flies further then 5 feet from the summoner. Normally, she either hovers nearby, gently flapping her wings to stay afloat, or latches onto an arm or on the shoulder of her master.

Synchronize - (Active, Summoner) - When making contact with Palax, the summoner is capable of siphoning some of Palax's chakra to replenish their own chakra. This can only be done at the rate of 2 chakra points per post, up to a maximum of 10 chakra points.


Related Jutsus

Name: Dragon Guard
Rank: C
Range: Personal + Summoner
Description: Palax is capable of spreading her wings and using them as a shield against incoming attacks. When an attack approaches, she moves her wings into position, then a brief shimmer of chakra flows through them as they instantly become as hard as steel, deflecting any C-rank or below Taijutsu or Kenjutsu technique used against the summoner (Costs 5 chakra). It can also protect the user from a C-rank ninjutsu, but this requires additional chakra (Costs 7 chakra). Once used, it requires a 1 post cooldown before it can be used again.

Name: Glitterdust
Rank: D
Range: Close (~15 ft)
Description: When utilized, Palax releases a sparkling pink mist which quickly bellows into a large smoke shield in front of her and her summoner. This works much like the effect of a smoke bomb, but the mist also stings any enemy which comes in contact with it, causing extreme irritation, especially if breathed in. (Palax and the Summoner are unaffected by the mist's effects.)


Summon's Total Chakra: 20 chakra points

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Name: Ryx
Rank: C
[Training rank: Chuunin]
Description: His name literally meaning both Fast and Lithe as well as Rain and Water, Ryx is a unique summon with a hyper personality and a playful nature who grows stronger as his summoner increases in ability. Always hyperactive and ready to play, Ryx almost never stops moving either on land or in the water and has an extreme propensity for running all around a summoner, using chakra to stay constantly attached. Most summoners say that they only way to keep him still is to firmly hold him around the midsection, but even then, his tail constantly moves, whipping about and wrapping around one's arm. Playful to the end, even in the midst of combat, Ryx will nudge and act hyper while attached to his master until he is told to attack, which he does with an excited leap into battle, enjoying the freedom to move and go crazy. Surprising him has a nasty habit of having him dig his claws into whatever he is currently attached to, even if it is his summoner.

Considering he is a water dragon, Ryx performs surprisingly well on land however, moving rather quickly across the ground, scurrying like a lizard. This speed can easily keep up with most Chuunin and he is rather agile as well, capable of darting in and out of combat and dodging incoming attacks easily. Relatively small for a dragon, Ryx's body is about 1 foot in length, but his tail more then doubles his length, being about a foot and half long itself. He has two fin-like projections off the back of his head and two larger fin-like projections coming off his back, extending down to the start of his tail. These are in essence his wings, but they do not allow him to fly, excepting when he is in water where they allow him to swim at incredible speeds and make quick and agile turns and maneuvers beneath the surface. Overall, he weighs about 25 lbs.

Height - 1 ft. (If he stood upright, but normally, he moves on all fours, making him shorter normally)
Length - 2 ft. (nose to tail)
Weight - 25 lbs.


Special Abilities:

Swim - (Passive, Summon) - Though Ryx cannot fly, he can 'fly' through water at incredible speeds, rivaling those of even a Jounin with even faster and more agile turns and maneuvers under water. He can even leap in and out of the water with incredible speed as well, which, when he spreads his fin-like projections, can allow him to glide above the surface of the water for a second or two, leaping about 25 feet easily.

Synchronize - (Passive, Summoner) - While Ryx is active, a thin aura of chakra surrounds the summoner. This makes it so the summoner cannot get wet, and is instantly dried off when created. It also enables the user to breathe underwater and allows them to swim much more quickly then normal, with greater control and agility. While the veil is active, Suiton ninjutsu suffer a -1 rank reduction against the summoner.


Related Jutsus

Name: Water Missile
Rank: B
Range: Short - Mid (~50 ft)
Description: While in a large body of water, after swimming around to gain enough speed, Ryx can surround himself in a swirling layer of water and launch himself at an enemy like a missile. This attack can occur under the surface of the water, or he can launch himself out of the water, traveling up to 50 feet through the air to strike an enemy. Striking an opponent delivers immense blunt force damage to the effected area and will heavily bruise the area struck, possibly even causing internal injury. Deflecting this attack is very difficult considering the swirling nature of the water, and it also protects Ryx from counter attacks and makes it so that the attack itself does not harm the dragon in any way. This technique has the speed, power, and cost of a B-rank technique

Name: Whirlpool
Rank: C
Range: Short - Mid
Description: While in a large body of water, Ryx can utilize his great swimming speed to very quickly swim in a tight circle about a 10 foot radius around an opponent. Fusing his chakra with this speed and pushing it into the water, this enables Ryx to to create a violent whirlpool around the enclosed foe which will suck him under the water and make it very difficult for them to escape from the forces spinning at such high velocity. This requires a C-rank of chakra.

Name: Jutsu Synchronize
Rank: E-C
Range: Varies
Description: Using this technique, Ryx can reproduce any C-rank or lower Suiton ninjutsu it's summoner knows.


Summon's Total Chakra: 30 chakra points

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Name: Treoris
Rank: C
[Training rank: Chuunin]
Description: Known as the Great Sleeping Giant, Treoris' name actually means Dream, Illusion, or Sleep which are more descriptive of his powers, but either name works equally well. A mellow and laid back beast, When Treoris is summoned, he comes out of the ground slowly with a low bellowed groan, as if he had been disturbed from a deep sleep. Often times when commands are issued, it will take a few seconds for the great moss dragon to react, making him appear to be slow-witted, or even lazy, but he is far from either of those descriptions. His breaths are deep and load, his exhales seeming like moans as the earth seems to move with him as his chest expands.

Whenever Treoris appears, he is always covered with moss and long grass on all sides, making him look as if he had been sleeping below the earth for centuries, allowing the grasses to grow over him. The moss and grass even covers his wings, only his eyes remaining uncovered by the mass. A large portion of his body always remains underground, only the top sections of his wings, his upper chest, and his neck and head rise up from the surface. Even still, just those sections span about 25 feet long and his head rises to be about 15 feet high. His head alone is massive and it appears as if he would be capable of swallowing several people whole if opening up to it's widest.

Height - 15 ft.
Length - 25 ft
Weight - Massive (unknown)


Special Abilities:

Earth Stride - (Passive, Summon) - Treoris moves by an interesting mechanism most would describe as akin to 'swimming' through the earth. Given his massive size, this only happens at the pace of a slow jog, but given his size and the fact that he swims through the earth like it were water makes the feat impressive. Remarkably, the earth shows no sign of disturbance either, and Treoris leaves no trace of his presence behind.

Mind Haze - (Passive, Summon) - When Treoris is active, he constantly emits a low growling roar which reverberates strangely in the air and clouds the minds of those around him (Within 150 feet), often causing them to forget things they previously knew. Anytime someone attempts to use a Ninjutsu or Genjutsu, they must roll a 4-sided die. If the result is a 1, they forget the handseals for the technique they were going to use, and the technique fails (No chakra is lost when a technique fails due to the Mind Haze). The Mind Haze counts as a B-rank Genjutsu and is constantly active and drains 3 chakra from Treoris per post. [This affects the summoner as well]

Synchronize - (Passive, Summon/Summoner) - Treoris' sheer size makes him a massive tank for absorbing incoming attacks and damage that might endanger the summoner. Once Treoris is summoned, the summoner is surrounding by a thin, dull brown aura which enables him merge inside Treoris and escape a dangerous situation. While inside, the summoner is protected from all outside attacks, but only so far as Treoris' Stamina will absorb them. Treoris has an effective Stamina of 15. Every jutsu used against him depletes his Stamina according to the power of the attack (the chakra/stamina cost... whichever is higher). When his Stamina hits zero, he is unsummoned.


Related Jutsus

Name: Swallow
Rank: C
Range: Short
Description: When the situation calls, Treoris is capable of opening his massive maw and descend on the summoner and up to four of the summoner's allies around him. The entire group is swallowed whole as Treoris' massive frame slams into the ground with a loud crash before sinking slowly beneath the surface again, leaving no trace of his presence. He can then re-emerge from the ground anywhere within five miles, his body rising up first, followed by his neck and head, his mouth opened wide as the passengers are released in the new area, completely unharmed. All that the passengers experience is a brief period of darkness and the feeling that they are standing in a warm and humid environment. (This requires 10 chakra points)


Summon's Total Chakra: 25 chakra points, Stamina = 30

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Name: Gos
Rank: B
[Training rank: Special Jounin]
Description: Many Dragon summoners will admit that Gos is one of the more intriguing summons as unlike many others, he does not seem to have a true form. His name literally meaning 'Air' or 'Wind', it can be difficult to tell where the air ends and the dragon begins as his form is not truly corporeal. Most summoners would describe his presence as a force, claiming that they can feel the edges of what would be his body, but note also that, like the air, those edges are constantly changing and moving. Regardless however, though his form is difficult to understand, his presence is undeniable. On the field of combat, no dragon's roar is as shrill or carries as far as Gos' and those who have faced his Fuuton techniques have no doubt that he is a real and present threat.

Although his exact size is hard to gauge, Gos is estimated to be about 50 feet tall, has a wingspan of about 75 feet wide, and is essentially weightless. As described by some summoners, he can be "felt" but he can not be truly 'touched' as his form is ever shifting at the edges. One would feel that they grasps nothing but a wisp of cloud if they tried. Gos' nature is generally calm, but foreboding due to his size. He is quiet and still, brooding over the field until instructed to attack at which point he suddenly shrieks and attacks ferociously almost out of nowhere. In all ways, he mimics the very personality of the wind.

Height - 50 ft.
Wingspan - 75 ft
Weight - Weightless


Special Abilities:

Flight - (Passive, Summon) - Gos is one with the air, mainly hovering just slightly behind and above the summoner. He has perfect control of his position in the sky and can move through it with ease, not even needing to flap his massive shifting wings to achieve this movement. Being one with the air, his speed is that of a typical Jounin, and when he moves, his form seems to dissipate into wisps of cloud only to reform seconds later when he had reached his destination. The majority of the time however, his massive form simply hovers in place behind the user. When the user moves, Gos follows, slowly at first, but then suddenly, his entire form shifts and he re-materializes near the user once more.

Formless - (Passive, Summon) - Due to his unique body type, Gos is completely immune to all Taijutsu, Kenjutsu, and Doton/Suiton/Raiton/Fuuton Ninjutsu. The only form of jutsu which can harm him are Katon Jutsu of A-rank or higher, which ignite his form and makes him un-summon himself.

Synchronize - (Passive, Summoner) - When Gos is on the field, an aura of swirling wind surrounds the summoner granting them increased speed (+1 rank [Passive]) and renders them immune to Gos' Gale Force Wind Technique and any other force that strong winds would have on them. Taijutsu strikes also have their range slightly increased since a 'miss' will still allow the wind aura to strike the opponent, knocking them back and delivering small cuts and slices to the area struck.


Related Jutsus

Name: Gale Force Wind
Rank: B
Range: Long (~500 ft)
Description: Gos is capable of producing Gale Force winds which shoot forward in an area directly in front of him continuously for 3 posts. These winds span an area up to 200 ft wide and 500 feet long and produce winds of up to 50 mph (Most ninja could withstand this force, but it would be an incredibly strong wind and would severely hamper their movements and abilities). These winds can only be created to travel in one direction however, and that direction must be directly in front of Gos. (This requires 20 chakra points)

Name: Wind Shield
Rank: B
Range: Short
Description: Once per summon, Gos can cover an ally, or group of allies forming a massive transparent shield in front of them which can protect them from any A-rank Fuuton technique or below.

Name: Jutsu Synchronize
Rank: E-B
Range: Varies
Description: Using this technique, Gos can reproduce any B-rank or lower Fuuton ninjutsu it's summoner knows.


Summon's Total Chakra: 40 chakra points

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Name: Alaerth
Rank: B
[Training rank: Special Jounin]
Description: One of a rare and unique Dragon species, Alaerth is known as the Master of the Skies. His name literally meaning Agile, Quick, or Lightning, Alaerth is unmatched in the air, even by those which would seemingly be much larger then him. Alaerth was built for flying, with sleek, black leathery skin and an aerodynamic design. He has three sets of wings, the larger main pair which spread wide for maximum speed, a second pair of wings protruding off of his tail, and a final third set a the very tip of his tail. The two additional wing pairs are what provide the ability to initiate hairpin turns and incredible acrobatic stunts with ease.

Alaerth's size is perfect for faster then lightning speeds through the air, even with a passenger. This is what makes him particularly dangerous to fight against. Considering his speed is unbeatable in the air, Alaerth often attacks via fly-by maneuvers and when coupled with a summoner riding the dragon, this can lead to quick and deadly combination between them. Alerth is also mentioned by many to be the most intelligent of the Dragon summons, at least in it's cunning and quick thinking in combat. Catching this dragon off guard is rather rare and his speed and agility make him rather difficult to hit.

Height - 5 ft.
Length - 12 ft.
Wingspan - 15 ft
Weight - 300 lbs


Special Abilities:

Flight - (Passive, Summon) - Alaerth can fly at speed which would make even most Jounin cringe and can maneuver and turn in the air on a dime. This makes him nearly un-hittable in the air, but it also makes him fragile. any hit to any of Alaerth's wings will clip him completely and he will be unable to fly anymore.

Synchronize - (Passive, Summoner) - When Alaerth is active, a green aura encompasses the summoner and allows them to attach to ride Alaerth without any fear of falling or losing their footing. This aura acts much the same as the Wall or Water-walking skill, except that it keeps the summoner attached to the Dragon effortlessly. When initiating this ability and riding atop Alaerth, the user gains +1 to their Evasion as it is rather difficult to hit a summoner on top of such an aerial ace.


Related Jutsus

Name: Razor Wing Maneuver
Rank: B
Range: Short
Description: For a B-rank of chakra, Alaerth triggers a chakra reaction through his body which allows him to travel at supersonic speeds for a brief period. During this movement, Alaerth spreads his main pair of wings and pushes chakra through them, making them razor sharp and as durable as steel. Combining these two effects, Alaerth can perform an incredibly swift fly-by attack which can cut through trees and rock with ease. The attack however must be made in a straight line, and even then, it is rather hard to control, making it hard to be specifically deadly with. The best one could hope for with this attack is a deep laceration across the skin, or perhaps a severed limb. This effect of increased speed and durability lasts only for the post it is used within.

Name: Blue Lightning Blast
Rank: A
Range: Long (~150 feet)
Description: After initiating the Razor Wing effect, when traveling at such high speeds, Alaerth is able to take advantage of the unique chakra composition within him and create a devastating attack. When traveling at the supersonic speeds created in the burst provided by the Razor Wind ability, Alaerth can spend an additional A-rank of chakra to send out a ball of blue lightning out of it's mouth. With the speed of the attack and the chakra behind it, the lightning tears through the air, igniting the area around it before it crashes into it's target, the ground, or any hard surface at which point the entire mass explodes in a ball of blue flame lightning.

The blast radius of the attack is about a 10 ft radius and the intensity of the blast is about the same as three explosion tags. This gives it enough force to easily destroy smaller structures and can cause major damage to anyone caught in the blast radius. After the attack, blue flames linger in the area and will ignite any material around it, causing blue flame fires to spread quickly until put out. Use of this attack halt's Alaerth's movement and end's it's Razor Wing Maneuver (since the chakra used to form it was channeled into the lightning blast).


Summon's Total Chakra: 35 chakra points

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Sage Mode:


Description:

Abilities/Bonuses:
-
-
-

How to achieve:


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Current Sage:

Summoners:
-
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:38 pm


Cobra_X

Reverse Kuchiyose no Jutsu: My only issue with this technique is that it can be used for the summoner to escape the effects of a particularly devestating jutsu for no cost whatsoever (although im sure you would not abuse it that way). Maybe it should only be used for plot-related reasons rather than combat use?

Palax:
Synchronize Ability: I'm hesitant to approve an ability that grants up to 6 chakra points to the summoner, for no personal cost. I know it's not much of a bonus. Maybe it counts as a full post action?

Treoris
Syncrhonize Ability: What if the attack in question, though not strong enough to reduce Treoris's stamina to 0, would otherwise be able to penetrate a powerful barrier. For example Chidori, Rasengan, ect.

Gos
Flight-I know it is logical for a creature composed of air to possess the ability to reform at will, I think there should be some sort of delay to balance out that effect. Maybe it takes one full post for Gos to 'materialize' near the summoner?

Formless: Again, this ability makes sense but seems unbalanced to me. Would it be fair to suggest B-rank Katon jutsu are able to at least damage Gos; thee of them able to even dispell him?

Syncrhonize: Wouldn't a boost to speed from Gos be more of an Active Bonus as it only takes effect while he is summoned and is not related to any personal attribute the summoner has?

Wind Shield: What is the duration and exact size of this technique?

Alaerth A.K.A My favorite
Flight: Just to be sure, does Alaerth fly at S-rank speeds?

Razor Wing: Supersonic speeds? Yikes! He should suffer a penalty to Evasion/Perception while using this technique, even though he is already limited to linear movements while using it. That aside, awseome technique!

Martin Spiralwave
Crew


Cobra_X
Captain

Aged Gaian

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 8:30 am


Martin Spiralwave

Reverse Kuchiyose no Jutsu: My only issue with this technique is that it can be used for the summoner to escape the effects of a particularly devestating jutsu for no cost whatsoever (although im sure you would not abuse it that way). Maybe it should only be used for plot-related reasons rather than combat use?

Yeah, we can say that... that it can't occur once combat has started.

Martin Spiralwave
Palax:
Synchronize Ability: I'm hesitant to approve an ability that grants up to 6 chakra points to the summoner, for no personal cost. I know it's not much of a bonus. Maybe it counts as a full post action?

To even summon Palax, it costs 3 chakra and 5 stamina. I don't think that restoring 6 chakra to the user is that imbalanced. You still have to pay the Stamina cost and if you choose to use the battery ability, it drains away from Palax' own effectiveness in using her defensive techniques to assist you.


Martin Spiralwave
Treoris
Syncrhonize Ability: What if the attack in question, though not strong enough to reduce Treoris's stamina to 0, would otherwise be able to penetrate a powerful barrier. For example Chidori, Rasengan, ect.

In such cases, we can say that those particular techniques cause double damage maybe?

Martin Spiralwave
Gos
Flight-I know it is logical for a creature composed of air to possess the ability to reform at will, I think there should be some sort of delay to balance out that effect. Maybe it takes one full post for Gos to 'materialize' near the summoner?

Why is that broken? All it does is assure that the summon is in the position you want it to be in... It was really just intended as fluff for the summon so that it can appear behind the summoner when needed rather then moving freely to keep up with the summoner as all other summons would.

Martin Spiralwave
Formless: Again, this ability makes sense but seems unbalanced to me. Would it be fair to suggest B-rank Katon jutsu are able to at least damage Gos; thee of them able to even dispell him?

I guess we can say that... but what would be the point? The summon (all of them) only last for 3 posts.

Martin Spiralwave
Syncrhonize: Wouldn't a boost to speed from Gos be more of an Active Bonus as it only takes effect while he is summoned and is not related to any personal attribute the summoner has?

No, it's Passive for balancing reasons. Making it an ACTIVE bonus makes it too strong since it has a higher chance of boosting the person's speed. Also, I consider it passive because all synchronizes are passive abilities which the user does not have to spend anything (beyond summoning the dragon) to deal with.

Martin Spiralwave
Wind Shield: What is the duration and exact size of this technique?

It's duration is 1 post maximum (actually just the effects of one ninjutsu)... and the size of the technique, since it's capable of protecting many, would be about a 30 foot radius around the summoner

Martin Spiralwave
Alaerth A.K.A My favorite
Flight: Just to be sure, does Alaerth fly at S-rank speeds?

Yeah, essentially.

Martin Spiralwave
Razor Wing: Supersonic speeds? Yikes! He should suffer a penalty to Evasion/Perception while using this technique, even though he is already limited to linear movements while using it. That aside, awseome technique!

I suppose you can say that, but how are you going to even attempt to hit something moving that fast with any kind of accuracy? Speed is as much of a factor of evasion as anything else. The required Linear movement dictates that once the attack is initiated, it can't be cancelled midway or anything like that.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 8:39 am


Cobra_X


Sorry it took me so long to reply to you Cobra, I've been a little busy with school.

I've reconsidered everything and I have decided to allow Palax to restore chakra. Additionally, all of your suggestions and clarifications are fine with me (although Gos's ability to teleport will be carefully watched ninja )

Otherwise, you have my stamp of approval.

Martin Spiralwave
Crew


HeadlessKoko
Vice Captain

Invisible Regular

12,125 Points
  • Invisibility 100
  • Inquisitor 200
  • Alchemy Level 2 100
PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:14 pm


I... suppose everything is good with me as well? The dragons seem a bit too strong, but they have fairly heavy restrictions so I can understand why.... Besides, if Martin doesn't have any problems with it, I don't see why I should.

Just want to clarify something. The ability for dragons to use their summoner's jutsus, that'll only ever be for dragon summons or a contract with restrictions similar to the dragon contract, right? Or would any contract be allowed to have that jutsu synchronization?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:04 pm


BlackFruity

TrafalgarHyozo

Cobra_X

Illusion158


Just wanted to apologize for the wait and to let you all know that I plan to properly sit down and go through them by the end of this week. Sorry and thanks again for your contributions and patience.

White Water Lilly
Vice Captain


HeadlessKoko
Vice Captain

Invisible Regular

12,125 Points
  • Invisibility 100
  • Inquisitor 200
  • Alchemy Level 2 100
PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:23 pm


Illusion158


Alright, Lilly messaged me, and these were her thoughts on your phoenix bloodline (edited slightly to make it flow smoother).

White Water Lilly
Phoenix Flame Wave might need to be uped to S rank.
As for Greater Phoenix Flame, to burn everything to ash.... That's a bit extreme... One would die if hit by that move.
True Phoenix Fire.... The trade off is fairish but the effects are a bit disastrous... Have you asked about Martin's opinion on it? He seems to do a pretty good job with summons
Harashi's phoenix flame seems alright. Description should be more clear, though, like mentioning the effects of being struck by such an attack. For example, "will receieve second degree burns," or something of that sort.
Steele's kunai attack should be a B rank with such ranges.
in my opinion.

On the last comment, I added on that making Steele's basic kunai attack B-rank would mean that the exploding version would need to be A-rank. Lilly didn't seem to have any problems on that.

Finally, as Lilly suggested....
Martin Spiralwave

Martin, could you look over the phoenix boss's True Phoenix Fire skill and tell us your thoughts on it?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 9:05 pm


True Phoenix Fire:

I think it's far too vague and immensely unbalanced. First of all, it's unblockable and virtually impossible to dodge without Minato Namikaze level reflexes, the Sharingan, and the Flying Thunder God technique. The portion about killing a tailed beast, the nukes of the shinobi world, makes this even worse.

I'd suggest giving an actual range in meters and also reducing it to something. Also, exactly how fast does this sphere of fire expand? Is it an actual explosion or just a large ball of fire expanding from the summon?

As for the weakness; The boss summon should automatically dissappear and upon his next summoning he will only have half of his available chakra. It can't kill an actual Bijuu. An equal ranked defensive technique could defend the user against the full force of this technique while an A ranked Water defense would also be suitable.

Martin Spiralwave
Crew


Illusion158

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 8:57 am


Alright, I'll get to the easier edits when I get a chance, the ones that require more detail will obviously take a little longer. One note on greater pheonix fire though........its a giant blast of fire sent by a summon lol I'm not saying I won't downgrade it, it's your guild after all, I just wanted to say that some of the attacks from the show, kind of did that very thing.

As for True pheonix fire, I meant it to be him vanishing after it's use. Kind of like when a phoenix burst into flames and is reborn later, only he'd be reborn back at the summoning lands. As for the weakness, instead of or added to the cooldown for summoning him/using the technique again?

As for the tailed beast killing, I specifically said it was rumored to but never used to do it so that, if that wasn't okayed, it still had the rumor so the technique sounded impressive. I figured an S rank summon technique would have some sort of mysticism/myths surrounding it.

The defenses I'm actually ok with, though I think they should cover the user completely. If its an expanding sphere of fire, which is what I envisioned, than just making a wall wouldn't really save you.

As for the ranges and speed, I will try to think about those when I get a chance. I've been busy lately with work and helping 2 friends set up some guilds.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 7:44 pm


just kind of curious, are any of these public...because last i checked (though admittedly it was like 2 weeks ago) the only summoning on the summoning page was for slugs.

Karnitis


White Water Lilly
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 8:01 pm


Karnitis
just kind of curious, are any of these public...because last i checked (though admittedly it was like 2 weeks ago) the only summoning on the summoning page was for slugs.

Yeah, all of these will be made public. the only reason the slugs are the only ones on display so far is because they are the only ones completely revemped. The rest are still being worked on by the crew. We're sorry for the delay but rl has been keeping most of us busy. They should all be finialized before the end of the chuunin exams hopefully.
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