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 Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 6:21 pm
 ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ▂▂ ▂ ▂▂ ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Шнψ wont you ☎ me? ╚═══»╠╣ell is waiting around for you to notice me.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ➷xŠΰяε you spent a ☂ night with me«═══╝xxxxxxxxxxxx ßµŦ Maybe thats all it took for me to realize your ☣ for me.
۞ Bella✽Reue✽Legosi ۞
████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██ █ ██ █████████████
 “ You look”…” Beautiful.”
Barely believing that she had even heard those words escape jack’s mouth; Bella’s face flushed for a moment and she gently set her right hand over her chest to feel the rapid fluttering of her heartbeat. In euphoria at the pleasant surprise of hearing him say those words. However, perhaps in an effort to subconsciously protect herself from further harm, her body chipped in this little thought: ‘ He‘s just being nice. Jack is a nice guy.’ Unable to keep her face from saddening for a moment in contemplation, Bella bit her lip at the time, and shook the compliment out of her head.
In the midst of what could be the dictionary definition of an: awkward moment, Bella noticed Jack’s hand disappearing into his pocket and fumbling about for his phone. Simply watching out of curiosity and not allowing herself to debate why he was looking into his phone, since she already knew the reason. When Bella saw the cold, heartless, text message gazing back at her, Bella felt waterless tears well up from her heart to her eyes as a feeling border-lining pain and ecstasy squeezed her heart. ‘ He…saved it…I thought he would have deleted it…’ Resisting the urge to cover her mouth with her hands by clasping her hands in front of her lap.
"But I just...I don't know what to say. I just want to let you know I am willing to talk, and I want to talk…" He backed up, and Bella resisted the urge to cross her arms.
"I've just been thinking over and over and over...and over... about what I want to say, how I want to say it and when…" He was rambling, starting to sweat; his fingers were shaking within his pockets and Bella’s face blossomed in curiosity because she noticed his unease.
"I'd do anything... anything at all…" Jack said before Bella saw his hands moving towards her wrist. Having her wrist clasped gently before he muttered the finality of his statement with a tenderness to his voice.
Bella felt her heart sink as her worst fears were realized. To be truthful, Bella has only expected an apology or an apology with a: ‘Don’t talk about this with Skylar’ attached to it. At hearing those dreaded words, Bella gasped her breath as the water which had been threatening to fall spilled down her cheek. ‘ He‘s just too nice for his own good…’ Being reminded of why she loved him was too painful to keep from restraining tears. Knowing the mistake crying had been the last time they were alone; Bella raised her hands in front of her defensively as a shielf. But at having her wrist grabbed so tenderly, a shivering breath exhaled out of her lungs very similar to the way she had breathed -that night- signifying how weak and fragile her body had become. Using the wall as a crutch, bella laid her free hand back against it as her weakening knees began to waver. Hardly showing the enormity of what she felt, bella shook her head in disbelief as the final words spilled out of Jack’s mouth:
“ For you.”
‘ No! Don‘t you dare mean that! Oh God! Take that back! Take that back right now!’ Covering her watery face after tearing her wrist out of jack’s hand, Bella sobbed against her fingers while continuing to shake her head in disbelief. Not that she didn’t believe Jack when she said those words; she did, she just didn’t believe he would actually say them. ‘ I can‘t believe he says this now!’ Letting her hair cascade as a veil over her face, Bella wiped her own tears off of her cheeks before Jack could even have the opportunity to do so. Hearing those wonderful words was just too much. ‘ Please tell me he meant the baby…’ Shaking her head, knowing she couldn’t force herself into denail, Bella bit down roughly on her lip and let out another shaky breath. Slamming her eyes shut to try and stop the gentle stream of waterworks down her face, only one thought pressed into her brain before she made her reply: ‘ He knows I don‘t cry.’
“ Please…” Bella hesitated at the weariness of her own voice, mortified that Jack had to witness and hear her emotional display.
“ Please…don‘t…say that…to…me” Bella shook her head before sharply opening her now red tinted eyes. Her voice was thick with pain, and she could not avoid the vulnerable consistency from being evident in her tones.
“ Dont Just don‘t. I cant…hear that. Its too late for me to hear that.” The idea that he might leave Skylar for her is she asked him would ruin just about everything in her life. Their group of friends was, sadly, the only comfort she could depend on. If they found out, that not only was Jack leaving Skylar for her, but that she was pregnant from before they broke up, they would never look at her the same way again. Whether secretly or publicly; Bella knew she would be dispised. At the very least, Bella would forever blame herself and their relationship would be doomed from the get-go. Being with Jack because he wanted to be with her would be perfect bliss; but, the cost of that happiness was too much for Bella to give. Which was why she was mentally pleading that he was only being nice, and begging him to not mean those words.
“ Listen, I don‘t know what to do. I don‘t know if I‘m going to adopt him or her to a nice couple or go to an abortion clinic, but I‘ve been in this alone…and I don‘t think I can change that. Before I even knew I was pregnant I heard nothing from you for weeks. I mean, I know you didn‘t just leave before I woke up, but you sat there guilt ridden on my couch like a zombie: staring at the wall until the guy came to have your car towed.”, Bella only paused long enough to shake her head and wipe away another tear from her cheek.
“ You think that didn‘t effect me? You think never being called or texted after I slept with my best friend didn‘t hurt me? God! Do you think I‘m stupid enough not to understand that if I wasn‘t pregnant right now we wouldn‘t even be here talking about that night?” Bella looked away with an angered, painful, gasp and stomped her foot on the ground for actually saying so much of what had been on her heart for the last two and a half months. As the muscles on her chin convulsed from crying a miniature stream, Bella had to gasp again for air before continuing where she left off.
“ So, don’t say that to me. Not now…because I can‘t accept it. I understand; okay? I…” Her voice gagged on fluid so she had to swallow before opening her mouth to speak once more.
“ I know you care about Skylar. She‘s more important, and your silence couldn‘t be clearer about that. You’re my friend, and I already know that you wouldn‘t hurt me on purpose…But just don’t. Stop trying to make this right; because its as ‘right‘ as its ever going to be. If I keep the baby, you‘ll be the Godfather, and I can come up with an explaination that doesn‘t incriminate you. Just…” Her red, puffy, eyes narrowed and she gasped a few shaky breathes to brace herself for her tinal words, her hand balling into a fist only to use as a crutch to brace herself up upon the door of a changing stall nearby.
“ If you were to try and leave Skylar to help raise the baby with me, I just couldn‘t handle it…Because if I have to see that guilt-ridden, zombie face every day for the rest of my life I‘ll kill myself!” bella sniffed, hastily wiped her tears with her shaking fingers and looked down towards the floor. By now her voice was so tempered by fluids seeping out of her throat, that if she had any more fluid in her mouth, a bubble would have formed when she opened her mouth again. Nap, it almost did. Her vocal texture laden with it, Bella clamped down on her lip bitter and softly stamped her foot on the carpet once more to vent her frustration.
“ Jack, just go. Please. Leave me alone…I need to change.” Finally reduced to begging in her desperation, Bella covered her face with her hands and dipped her head so that her hair became a curtain once more. Though it was flimsy in obstructing Jack from seeing the pain so strongly chiselled into her features. Realizing that standing here was embarrassing and futile, Bella started walking towards the nearby Changing stall where she had left the bear: ‘ I think I‘ll call him Toby.’; and her clothes. Slamming the door in the hopes deterring even the air from joining her in the room, Bella assumed the strong force of the push was enough to make the door close completely on her. It wasn’t, and as Bella started to pull the dress off of her, it absentmindedly started to sneak back open. Its hinge rotating on a weakening joint like a broken shopping cart that always wanted to tilt in one direction.
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ⋚Unfortunately, I can't forget what you mean to me.⋛
✿But when I'm gone...will you✉to me?✿ ↙xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Posted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:28 pm
 Cailen$Legosi Cailen could sense the excitement in Alice as they made their way over to Build-A-Bear. He smiled to himself as he watched her skip off into the store. He remembered coming here as a kid and making a puppy dog. He watched as Alice ran off to make her Alicebear, picking out similar outfit and everything. She seemed so happy and content making her bear it amazed Cailen. Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that makes people the most happy. So why did he have to make things complicated? He knew she never had the kind of childhood he got to have, and felt for her. It was nice that she was able to relive some of her childhood now. Cailen wished he could go back to when he was a little kid again. Back when things were so simple and question of life were easily answered. Life was so simple back then, back when his father was alive and he didn’t have to worry about money problems. Sure he got himself into trouble when he was a kid, always making bets with other kids. His gambling obsession probably started back then. He loved a fast way to win something.
He wanted to blame his dad for him getting himself into so much trouble. His dad was the father figure in his life and without him, he didn’t have that to keep him on track. Cailen knew he couldn’t blame his dad for something like that. It’s not like he wanted to leave him. Why did he have to be such a disgrace to his family? He has gotten himself into some big trouble now. Why couldn’t he be like Bella? Sure she wasn’t perfect, but at least she stayed out of trouble. Now Cailen was faced with this though predicament. He had to come up with that money, and fast. He was going to have to do some things he doesn’t want to, but if that is what it is going to take, then so be it.
As Alice was over at the register, Cailen saw her answer her phone. He gave her a questioning look, wondering who would be calling her, but she stepped away and continued her conversation. He shrugged looking over to Skylar to see what she was doing. It wasn’t long before Alice came back explaining that she had to schedule a doctor’s appointment. It seemed like a reasonable answer, but he was worried. Was there something wrong with her? “Everything ok?” he asked quietly as he went over closer to her.
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 6:01 pm
 x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ♥ x ♥ x ♥ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀still here staggering on through the impossible
we remain, I can breathe one more day
still here still f i g h t i n g on
all we have is today find my way to the beauty
of one more day,▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ♥ x ♥ x ♥ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
"Everything ok?"
Alice was a bit taken back by Cailen's question. Her mind began to race wondering if perhaps there had been too much of a hint of worry in her tone while she had been on the phone. She tried to tell herself that there was no possible way that Cailen could know what the phone conversation had been about. Clearly, he must have been concerned that she was making a doctor's appointment. Perhaps that had not been the best excuse idea that she had come up with - but it was all that she could think of at the time. Of course he would wonder if something was up. Given her medical history, anyone who knew her might get concerned at the mention of a doctor's appointment. "Of course, everything's fine," she answered his question with a smile, "it's just a routine check up so they can tell me that I'm still healthy."Alice elected not to go into it any further. She was a terrible liar sometimes and she feared that if she said anything else that she would either get herself caught or cause unnecessary concern from her friends that something was wrong with her again. "We should try to find the others," Alice suggested. Without giving it much more thought, or waiting for the input of either Skylar or Cailen, Alice began to walk in the direction of Macy's. The Build-a-Bear store was not very far from Macy's anyway, and she figured that Bella and Adam could not have gone very far. Perhaps they would even manage to track down Jack as well. Alice was unsure why she was feeling so uneasy. Perhaps it was because she did not have any faith in her ability to lie. She did not want to be lying to Cailen, but it seemed like that was all she was doing to him lately. She felt absolutely horrible - but she knew she had to prioritize. First, she would help him with the money and then she would figure out how to tell him about... what happened with Adam. She cringed at the thought of having to come clean about what had happened and without even realizing it her pace quickened. Now, she was definitely starting to act suspicious. Eventually Cailen was going to call her out on something being wrong. He wasn't stupid. When Alice realized that she was walking too quickly, she had already reached the entrance to the Macy's store. Instead of slowing down she stopped completely in her tracks and ran her left hand through her hair before belatedly turning around to see if her friends had even followed her. 
outofcharacter: ugh. failpost. should not write while tired. >.<
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 1:07 pm
 ❝Obsession Compulsion Disorder❞
【But I can control it】
I think.
Jack let out a gasp as he watched his friend break down. The way she spoke, he knew she was upset and confused. He couldn't let her be so distraught like that, he wanted to hold her. He wanted to hold her for as long as it took to make her feel better. Regardless of what she was saying, he wasn't going to leave, even if he wanted to shove his tail between his legs and flee because he felt as if someone had stabbed him in the heart. Every word she spoke, was another dagger, his voice was caught and he felt like crying. He could feel the sting and the lump in his throat grow more. He watched her slam herself into the dressing room. She scolded him, pushed him aside. She may have said she wanted to be alone, but her eyes screamed differently.
He swallowed and ran forward, "No," He stood right outside the door, noticing that the door had bounced and was opened slightly. "I'm not leaving you, Bella, you know I can't do that." He realized he worded it wrong and he scolded himself. The sting came back to his eyes. "You know me, I spend most of the time in my head, thinking... obsessing over my thoughts over and over again... sometimes I forget there is a world outside of my own head." He sighed and pushed the door open and stepped inside. If she slapped him, he'd accept it and just let her do what she wanted to him. But no matter what, he wasn't going to leave.
"You can't push me away, Bella, because that night wasn't just any other night. We both know it meant something." He grabbed her waist and wrapped his arms around her to shove his face into her shoulder. He felt a sob escape his breath as he took in her scent. It reminded him of that moment in time when they were so close together, sharing a moment of passion. He remembered how beautiful she was then, and it made him realize how beautiful she'd always been.
He expected her to push him off and slap him, shove him away and never even talk to him again. But he continued to hug her, "I'm not leaving you, Bella, I... I love you." It was the first time he had said it to someone, he hadn't even said it to Skylar. He cared about her, yes, but she wasn't his true love. He knew that, but he never wanted to tell her that. He never felt the same gut wrenching feeling he felt when he was with Bella. He sighed and tried to muffle another sob. "Please, don't push me away... I won't be able to bear it."
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Vanilla Nerd Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:22 pm
▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ▂▂ ▂ ▂▂ ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Шнψ wont you ☎ me? ╚═══»╠╣ell is waiting around for you to notice me.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ➷xŠΰяε you spent a ☂ night with me«═══╝xxxxxxxxxxxx ßµŦ Maybe thats all it took for me to realize your ☣ for me.
۞ Bella✽Reue✽Legosi ۞
████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██ █ ██ █████████████
Bella had thrown the red crinkled dress on the floor by the time she heard Jack say: ‘No’ in the hallway. Under the assumption that the door was closed, she gathered the white undershirt beside her foot and hurriedly shoved it on before yanking her flannel over-shirt and folding her arms through it like a jacket.
“ I‘m not leaving you, Bella, you know I can‘t do that.” With tears still stinging down her cheeks Bella could only nod to herself as she pulled her jeans up and fastened the button. Unintentionally taking out all her frustration against her clothes. Of course Bella knew that Jack wouldn‘t leave after she said all those things; but she still hoped he would. ‘ Please don‘t come in here.’ Thought she in desperation; not knowing what she would do if he braved the elements and stormed in here. Remembering their night again unavoidably, like torture, Bella softly banged her hand against the wall as her body tried to continue weeping; but, the lack of water prevented her from releasing anything but two more gentle tears. ‘ I couldn‘t even stop myself that night; how the heck am I going to stop myself if he comes in here all ‘white knight‘ and heroic?’ Her thoughts jumbled in her brain, Bella rambled a few more similar thoughts together to thread together a cohesive blanket that could comfort her. Bella could only verify one thought in the end, and in pondering it over and over like a mantra Bella cradled her arms around her chest and stood with her back facing the door. Perhaps subconsciously, she knew the door was open; because she imagined that his voice would be muffled as it was a moment ago if the door was still closed. If not for paying too much attention to his voice, she would have mentally kicked the stall for destroying whatever hope of privacy she could scavenge.
“ You know me, I spend most of the time in my head, thinking…obsessing over my thoughts over and over again…sometimes I forget there is a world outside of my own head.”
Alas, she knew Jack to well to find a fault in his excuse. The statement was true no matter how vengeful her mind was at the particular moment. Bella’s mind was relentless in that regard, as if finding more reasonable excuses to despise the man could stop the feelings boiling inside her chest. None of it worked, and if anything; the walls she put up to guard her heart only increased her pain because of being punctured by every word Jack said. Hearing these things felt so incredibly wonderful; which only hurt so much more because Bella knew she could not allow herself to give in to them. She believed them; and for the moment that gave her a kind of happiness Bella had never dreamt to hope for…but the image of what her life would look like if they started seeing was like looking down at the aftermath of September eleventh. It was an unfixable rubble regardless; but, if she had to crumble it was going to be because the aftermat with fewer casualties.
A determined squeak from the out-of-joint door snapped Bella’s attention from a blank spot on the wall and she immediately turned around with an unquenchable desire to see Jack rebelliously throbbing in her chest. Sure enough, the man was there and a dread started to squeeze her insides at the idea of hearing any more exquisite death sentences coming out of his mouth. ‘ God! Why can‘t I stay MAD at YOU?’ Looking at him with pleading eyes, Bella simply focused on Jack’s face as he spoke, her heart beating in a perpetual state of bittersweet expectation.
“You cant push me away,” Bella’s face appeared pained at having her own realization thrown back at into her face. Shaking her head ever so slightly, ashamed at herself. ‘ No...I can‘t.’ “Bella because that night wasn’t just any other night. We both know it meant something.”
"I'm not leaving you, Bella, I...I love you."
Bella’s chest heaved at hearing those words and her heart fluttered like a cheerful butterfly. The pain in knowing that butterfly was going to be squashed tearing through her as the image of their night together once more forced its way into her brain. Stabbing her in a pain she could no longer endure and Bella began to gasp profusely. One shaky breath being all it took to release the tears she had held captive as her hope tore itself out of it’s cage and absorbed all the strength from her body. Knowing Jack was going to try and hold her before he did so was what had fired the death arrow; and before his hands even found her waist Bella had already surrendered. Folding her arms so tightly around Jack in order to keep herself from falling, Bella unconsciously pressed her mouth to his neck and softly kissed. The sensation of his stubble against her neck to delicious to ignore. Warmed inside and out from the embrace, Bella closed her eyes nuzzled her face against his shoulder. The man smelled even more wonderful than she remembered; simply because a fresh take of his scent could not compare with any regenerated memory her mind could recreate.
Her heart a vulnerable plum; soft, tender, and laying bare in the palm of Jack’s hand, Bella knew how easy it would be…how one rough squeeze was all it would take to crush her heart like a ripened grape in the winepress. Knowing only by a sixth sense alone what she was about to hear; her heart could not be restrained in it’s joyous beating, and she knew she would be unable to keep her heart from being crushed when she heard those words. Begging, pleading, Bella whispered into his ear so quietly that it was only a shaky petition under her breath: “ Please…don‘t.”
Unable to stifle a sob, Bella had only managed a quick swallow before his words pierced the atmosphere and a fresh wave of tears dabbled down her cheeks onto Jack’s shoulder. Laying her head down on his shoulder like a pillow to hide the fact that she was using his shirt to wipe her tears. Hearing those words felt so wonderful, so exquisite that she could not withold a gasp-like cry of pain from quietly gurgling out of her throat. So moan-like in its consistency, Bella was glad her face wasn’t looking at Jacks, so that the redness in her cheeks could remain a secret a little longer. Unconsciously gripping her arms around Jack tighter, Bella knew exactly what would happen if she did not intervene at this exact moment. If she did not stop this now and ask him to leave; however, knowing he was not going to leave and that she had no desire to end this blissful moment tempered her willpower, and Bella found herself unable to speak.
“ Please, don‘t push me away…I won‘t be able to bear it.” Bella clamped her eyelids shut in agony, the pain weeping originally installed now ten times worse. Bella had not cried this much in years, and her body was using that pain to remind her of that. ‘ Oh God, help me…because I can‘t do this. I can‘t hurt him.’ Wailing as women often did while crying, even if it was to a lesser degree, Bella turned her head and kissed Jack’s neck, or jaw line given how she felt the scuffle against her tender lips, until she found his mouth. Lifting her hands to lose her fingers in-between the locks of his hair; Bella’s arms were still underneath his own; cradling his body against her own in a stronger embrace. Kissing Jack passionately as if she had been starving for his mouth ever since that night, Bella felt the voice in her head flash the image of Skylar in her mind and the reminder of what she would cause if she kept going stopped her and Bella parted the kiss reluctantly. A bitter taste in her mouth tempering the kiss in the knowledge that what he had to do could not be stopped. She was butter in Jack’s hands, and though she could not stop herself from melting around him; she could not bear the burden of knowing how much grief she would cause the one person Bella had never taken the time to befriend.
“ J…Jack, I can‘t do this; I can‘t be with you. I love you so much Jack; But, I‘m leaving Chesterton…and I can‘t take you with me. ” As if that was not enough to deter Jack from listening or allowing this travesty to happen unchallenged, Bella squeezed her arms around his back and looked at his chest instead of witholding eye-contact in order to summon the willpower to say what needed to be said.
“ Skylar needs you…” Bella said it almost like a whisper, as the words burned her tongue to say them just as much as her ears screamed in hearing them. A stab shooting through her chest in the disappointed truth the words contained. Her heart was shot down, denied of its desire, and Bella's miserable face expressed that. Sniffing and wiping her eyes, Bella tried to end the embrace, and her arms slowly loosened from around him.
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ⋚Unfortunately, I can't forget what you mean to me.⋛
✿But when I'm gone...will you✉to me?✿ ↙xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:56 pm
❝Obsession Compulsion Disorder❞
【But I can control it】
I think.
With Bella sobbing, Jack couldn't help but allow a tear to trickle down his cheek. He stifled a sobbing sigh. Suddenly her lips found his. The kiss took Jack by surprise, but he kissed back just as passionately. It felt like the kiss lasted for a century. To Jack, the kiss felt right, like their lips were two puzzle pieces that knew how to go together. Her breath was warm and comforting. When she pulled away, he felt the cold air against his lips. He didn't want it to end. He tried to look into her eyes, but she kept averting her gaze. He could see the pain in her expression from the glimpses he got. His eyes stung and the lump in his throat threatened to choke him.
"J...Jack, I can't do this; I can't be with you." The words felt as if someone ripped his heart out. "I love you so much Jack; But, I'm leaving Chesterton... and I can't take you with me." Suddenly, Bella had personally dropped his heart on the floor. He couldn't stop the tears from falling. His vision was blurred so much that he could barely make out the girl in front of him. He had been friends with her so long, they had been in each other's lives for as far back as he could remember. The idea of her leaving was heart crushing. But what she said next was the cherry on top of the "perfect" sundae.
"Skylar needs you." She stomped down on his heart that time. He let out a gasping sob, his lips quivered and he shook his head harshly as she pulled away slowly. He suddenly grabbed her and held her as tight as he could. His sobs didn't allow him to speak, his voice was caught in between sobbing and sighing. The idea of Bella leaving hurt him more than anything. He tried to imagine life without Bella; Nothing came to mind. His face buried into her shoulder (they were the same height, so it was rather easy for him to do so). "Sk-skyl-lar? I don't..."
He couldn't hold back any longer. There was a pain that he couldn't push away. The fact that she brought up Skylar just confused him. In what way did Skylar need him? She got her use out of him, she made new friends. She became acquainted with the town. If anything, Jack's job was done. It wasn't that that was all he planned, he just didn't imagine spending the rest of his life with her. He had been contemplating when the best time to end their relationship was, but he never got to, for fear of hurting her. "N-No... P-please, no..." He tried to breathe, but it was staggered. His grip on her grew tighter, as if she was going to fly away at any moment. He wasn't going to let her go, not without him -- not without a fight. "P-please,..B-Bella...I..I can't let you... I'm going with you, I don't care what you say."
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Vanilla Nerd Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:12 pm
[FYI - I edited my last post to add some more to it,
because it was driving me crazy. XD]
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:32 pm
▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ▂▂ ▂ ▂▂ ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Шнψ wont you ☎ me? ╚═══»╠╣ell is waiting around for you to notice me.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ➷xŠΰяε you spent a ☂ night with me«═══╝xxxxxxxxxxxx ßµŦ Maybe thats all it took for me to realize your ☣ for me.
۞ Bella✽Reue✽Legosi ۞
████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██ █ ██ █████████████
Bella gasped loudly when Jack cradled her in his arms. Seeing Jack crying was already too much for Bella to witness without feeling guilty, and the fact that she loved being in his arms began to co-linger with her guilt. Making her feel unworthy. The same sense of remorse from their stolen night resurfaced for the hundredth time and Bella could not escape it. Seeing Jack spweing fluids and emotions shattered her resolve almost as much as her heart. ' Why can't I let him in? We were closer than siblings, I told him everything since we played naked in the kiddie pool...then we sleep together and I'm actually trying to make him go.'', Knowing that, though she did feel guilty about that too, hurting Skylar was not the reason why, Bella paused to contemplate the reason. Unsure of it herself. It wasn't that she feared being hurt, it was too late for that. It wasn't losing her friends' respect, because if she wanted something bad enough nothing would stop her. Stubborness seemed to be writen in her genetic code. Folding her arms around Jack and squeezing him just as hard as he was, the reason finally hit her with the same intensity as a thousand pound acme weight landing on her head. It was so abnormal a reason to even contemplate with words that all Bella could do at the discovery was distort her face with sadness.
The truth was that Bella wanted more than she thought Jack, or any man, could give her and that was why she was trying so hard to turn him away. After her father died, Bella had stopped wasting her time longing for dreams that could never happen. Unfortunately, Bella was never a person that was capable of settling for second best. It had made Bella an emotional statue, cold even, in avoiding romance; but, it explained why she thought of the handsome Adam as the most unattractive man on the planet. Adam could never offer her what she wanted, and what he could offer only filled Bella's stomach with revulsion. Hearing Jack's pleading words so sweetly in her ear felt like a record player at the revelation that she had just been using those exact words, almost, just a few minutes before.
' Jack...Why can't you be reasonable...', Bella sighed in the knowledge that nothing she could come up with would deter him. Remembering the flier in her glovebox, Bella had only been toying with the idea of actually leaving, and now she would have to leave to keep from revealing her bluff. However small Bella was able to, she still wanted to try and keep him from coming with her. Sharing a bed with Jack, or even just the same hotel room, sent the wrong idea and though she did love Jack; who knew what would happen in that situation. Knowing in her heart more than her head that Jack must not be madly in love with Skylar, the fact fuelled Bella's weak little heart that the risk of breaking it further by seeing Jack zombie-eyed was less of a possibility. In that, Bella twiddled her fingers and knew that if she couldn't accept anything short of what she wanted, she was still going to ask and be disappointed. Either way, at least Belle could say she had tried to deter him...with the bonus of being able to convince herself when she was alone that she had 'tried' to go after something she wanted. Pulling her head away to look Jack in the eyes, Bella wet her lips and took a breath before speaking.
" You can't let me go? Just like that I'm going to let you come?" Bella shook her head, teasingly smiling her tomboyish smile before planting a shaky peck on the edge of Jack's mouth. " If you really want to go, I have a condition...I--" Bella bit her lip nurvously.
" If you want to come with me, then take me off the market." Bella was completely serious and her determined eyes did not waver for a heartbeat; however, Bella suddenly found herself fearful -dismayed- for saying it, and she realized that she was not ready to hear te answer yet. So Bella hastily added another statement to temper with the first, as if trying to undo what she had said. Glancing away towards the floor, Bella ran her right hand through her hair to try to distract her attention from Jack's face.
" But...I'm only leaving for a year Jack. Its not like I'll be gone forever; and besides...we're standing here in a changing rooms...in the women's section...If Adam sees us walking out, he's gonna think we had sex in here..." Bella immediately discovered that that was not a phrase to use around Jack; and her face immediately darkened. Her attempts at changing the subject not getting off to a good start...
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ⋚Unfortunately, I can't forget what you mean to me.⋛
✿But when I'm gone...will you✉to me?✿ ↙xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx {I've been almost completely ignoring Adam X3 I'll post as him tomorrow. *huggles*}
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:58 pm
 S K Y L A R XXX L E N N O X███████████████████ █████ ███
And I need you to make the promise l a s t
To contradict my past
To know that I am s a n e
To help me feel a s h a m e d 
______________________________________________________________________________
Skylar put a smile on and followed Alice and Cailen to the Build-A-Bear workshop. She felt a little strange going along with them. It was a very much third-wheel feeling. As weird as it sounded, Sky was somewhat used to that feeling. Even though she had Jack, Skylar often felt out of place. It wasn’t that she didn’t know the others well. It was just she had a problem with feeling alone. It would come and go. Sky never mentioned any of this to anyone else. It sounded crazy and a bit embarrassing. People would think she had super low self-esteem when that was not true at all. Her self-esteem wasn’t as high as it could be but it wasn’t all too low either. Skylar had thought about telling this all to Jack at times but never did. She was always worried what he would think when she would tell him.
Alice was running around working on her ‘Alice-bear’ and Skylar just had to smile. She wished she could share in Alice’s enthusiasm. It looked like she was having a lot of fun. Sky had planned on making a bear along with Alice but she couldn’t really go through with it. She found herself just looking over the different clothing you could buy for the bears. Her mind was off wandering. She thought about Jack and hoped that he was alright. He didn’t seem too good when he left the group. The thought of sending him a text popped into her head. Just a little one to check up on him and make sure he was okay. Skylar cared for him after all and if he wasn’t okay she would want to be with him.
Upon taking out her phone, Sky discovered a text from her father. She couldn’t help but wonder what it was about. Opening up her phone she read through the message and then closed her phone without sending Jack a text. Her mind was now on other things. The text was simple. ’Doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning. Nine o’clock. Sky was rather nervous for this one. Usually doctor’s appointments were no big deal. It would only be a check up after all. This one was different. This appointment was to discuss and Sky didn’t know what to expect. Trying to distract herself from this thought, she looked around for Cailen and Alice and found the two talking. She made her way over to them, walking slowly so as to not interrupt their conversation if it was private.
Alice mentioned finding the others and took off before anyone could respond. This led Skylar to think that she must have interrupted something. She gave a little of an apologetic look to Cailen, ”Is everything alright?” She thought she would ask since she felt like she ruined what was going on. She slowly followed Alice but quickly lost sight of her from how fast she was walking. The only thing that she could make out was that Alice was heading towards Macy’s. Probably to find Bella and Adam first. She thought about offering the idea to send Jack a text but decided against it. It might be best to just give him the time he needed to be alone until they needed to find him.
_____________________________________________ ________________________ You promised that you'd stayYou say you want to g oYour lips provide a s h e l t e r to theThings that I don't know
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Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 1:01 pm
Cailen$Legosi From the way that Alice was acting, Cailen could tell that something was up. He may have been a little distracted from his own problems, but he could tell when something was wrong with Alice. She was never a great liar, and eventually Cailen was able to get what she was hiding out of her. He wanted to ask her further, find out what was really going on, but she changed the subject. Finding the others seemed to be very important to her at the moment since she had just left the store without another word.
He turned to Skylar who had just walked up to them before Alice walked away. Her question for some reason caught him off guard. Truthfully, everything wasn’t fine. At the moment things probably couldn’t be worse. He sister’s life was possibly on the line, he was way over his head in debt, and there was something wrong with Alice that she was keeping from him. He couldn’t tell her that though, he didn’t want to trap her and make her feel like she had to help. He really didn’t want her to be involved since it could be potentially dangerous, but for some reason, despite all the reason’s he didn’t want to tell her, he wanted to tell her. He wanted someone to help him. There was no way he could do this on his own; he had to have help from someone. He didn’t want to hide how scared he was for his sister. He wanted to tell someone, anyone, and he wanted them tell him it will be alright, but why Skylar? Why drag someone as innocent as her into all this? Maybe it was because he felt he could trust her, or that in telling her there really wasn’t much to lose. If he told Alice, well he knew that relationship would be over. She hated when he gambled, and he promised her that he would try and stop, but that was after the incident with Tony.
He debated telling Skylar everything, but he felt that her question wasn’t really about him. So instead, he once again pushed his problems to the back of his mind for him to deal with later and answered her question as best as he could manage. “Um, I’m not really sure” he started off. “Who am I kidding, nothing is right. Everything sucks!” he said rather loudly and tightening his fists. What did I just say? As soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted saying them at all. They were not what he was planning on saying. It was almost as if he didn’t say them at all. They just kind of came out before he could stop it. He was rather embarrassed at his outburst, particularly because he swore in the middle of a children’s store and some parents were looking at him with disgust. This wasn’t something Cailen normally did in public and he just wanted to disappear. He looked up at Skylar to see her reaction to his outburst. “Maybe we should get out of here” he mumbled to her, seeing as how he wasn’t welcome in this store anymore.
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Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 3:51 pm
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ♥ x ♥ x ♥ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀still here staggering on through the impossible
we remain, I can breathe one more day
still here still f i g h t i n g on
all we have is today find my way to the beauty
of one more day,▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ♥ x ♥ x ♥ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
Alice turned around to notice that neither Cailen or Skylar were in sight. Oddly enough she actually felt relieved - she felt so guilty for hiding things and lying to people. It was easier to push things out of her head when she wasn't in the immediate vicinity of the person she was lying to.
She began to make her way into the Macy's store and began to wander around the different floors. Picking up various little knick knacks and inspecting them to see if perhaps it was something she wanted to purchase to keep her mind off of the situation she had at hand. One particular item happened to catch her eye as she passed the jewellery counter. A dainty sterling silver necklace with a tiny little angel pendant. She knew that it would be out of her price range with the money that she was making now. But if she took the job at Indulgence... No. She would not allow herself to think that way. If she took the job it would only be to save money to pay off Cailen's debts.
Continuing along through the store, she thought she caught a glimpse of Adam talking to someone, but Alice could not be very sure. She was not close enough to be certain, so she elected not to go over and see. It did not look like Bella was with him, so it probably wasn't him anyway. She kept going until she had meandered her way just outside of the women's dressing room area. A pink and black button up plaid shirt. Sure - it was more of Bella's style than anything, but the fact that it contained so much of the color pink made Alice think that it wasn't so bad.
She reached her hand out to pull it off of the rack when she found feeling a little bit dizzy. Shrugging it off, being used to feeling this sensation, she managed to grab the shirt to check the price. 10.99 Not a bad price. Before she could have much time to decide whether or not she wanted to try it on, Alice felt her body shiver, almost as if she was having an extreme cold chill and the dizziness from before pounded her once again.
Everything in her immediate vicinity started to swirl in a counter clockwise motion before her vision began to darken. Falling backward, she narrowly missed smacking her head against the rack that she had just taken the shirt from.
outofcharacter: oh Alice and your incredibly epic fail immune system. Oh well, by the next post she'll wake up and be like, "wtf? am I getting the flu or something?"
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Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2010 2:28 am
▂▃▅▆█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌▌  I am the conqueror ☜
I taste your scent in the wind
I set my sail but then you sink my boat
So I begin to swim
Bash my foes until I win
▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶ ♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ ♣I'm coming for you (Can we get this all together?)♣ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒ ░░ ▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ Adam had held back from making any sarcastic faces until Bella had turned around and commanded him to 'stay' like a horny dog. Sure, Adam knew how to have a good time, but it wasn't the only thing he was interested in. He also liked drinking, going to rave parties, and being on time for work. Yes, he did care alot about his work. Both his day job, and his...other job, that Adam purposefully renounced even to himself. Not even mentally thinking about some of the things he had been paid to do, Adam was quite happy to forget all about those experiences. Especially when he had no money problems to vex him. Empty pockets being the ultimate stigma. If only the man knew exactly what the consequences of his lifestyle cost, perhaps then he would not think the same way as he currantly did.
Crossing his arms impatiently, Adam's chest began to warm at the sight of Bella in that dress. She looked ethereal, as silly as it sounded, like she was a famous movie star he was escorting to the red carpet. However, there was something about the way she walked out of the hallway that pushed the image of Alice back into his mind. ' God! Why can't I stop thinking about Alice, am I that guilty? It wasn't like she didn't want it too...' Too distracted in his thoughts, by the time he came back to reality the look on Bella's face had turned from night to day. His face furrowed in confusion. ' Whats wrong?'
Turning around, Adam saw Jack and his obvious confusion multiplied. Whaaat?: written all over his face. Feeling Bells walk closer to him more than seeing her, as his confusion rendered him immobile, he turned around halfway through her unintentional command. Adam was about to comply and walk towards the employee to ask how much the dress costed when he clearly saw the tag dangling beneath her arm. ' What the hell? Bella, whats with the bullsh*t?!' One half of his upper lip raised in a near grimace, Adam didn't need to know anymore to figure out something had happened between her and Jack. Then again, given Bella's stubborness their arguing alot was not a big stretch for him to believe. ' Alright, have fun arguing.' Rolling his eyes playfully, he walked away to give them some distance.
Perusing through the isles randomly, Adam was about to examine a very pretty diamond necklace that he thought Alice might like when he realized that once more Alice had popped into his head. Feeling like he was cheating on himself because Bella was 'supposedly' still conversing with Jack in front of the dressing room, and he was thinking about another woman. Walking away to actually 'ask' that employee how much the dress costs so that he could truthfully tell Bella an honest answer when they were done talking, Adam felt a tug on his elbow and looked around to see a woman wearing the 'Macy's' employee garb on; a mixture of amazement and a shy blush painting her face. ' Oh no...Whats her name?...' Not coming up with anything, as he could have sworn he had never seen her before, Adam smiled and said:
" Can I help you?" The woman giggled excitedly and covered her red face with her hands. She lifted one of them from her cheek to try and shake his hand. He shook it with an odd confusion curling his brow.
" I'm so sorry to bother you, I normally never do this. ohhh but, I just have to ask. Um. Are you...is your name Adam Rochester?" Something about the way she quoted his name; like a famous person, caused a siren to go off in his head. The DANGER! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! effect was never stronger than this precise moment and the urge to bolt out of the store suddenly tugged at his feet. Playing with his collar nurvously, as if holding a gun with his finger toying with the trigger, Adam nodded and answered the woman.
" Yes, Have we met before?" The woman covered her face again and shook her head a little too furiously. Adding an: 'mm-mmm' to clearify herself, the employee's statement should have eased his worries...But for some reason, he felt the pressure under his collar build even higher. Like a volcano about to erupt and burn everything in sight. Sure enough, the woman replied and confirmed all his worries.
" No its just...I've seen all your...-movies-...and I just wanted to say that I loved you in Lethal Attraction 2 and--" Adam's eyes bulged out like a frog that that woman would mention that here at a public mall! ' GOOD GOD WOMAN! ' Adam bit down roughly on his lip and tightly covering her mouth with his hand. Whispering his reply in as delicate a manner as possible.
" Shhh! Not -here- okay? Not -ever-. Thank you, always nice to meet a fan, but not here. Okay? Cause those 'movies'...they never happened. -Never-." Anxiously looking around him for any signs of Bella or Jack to reasure himself that no one overheard that tidbit of terror, Adam shook the woman's hand hurriedly to try not to offend the woman before BOLTING, I mean...walking away as quickly as possible from the uncomfortable scene.
As the woman giggled like a schoolgirl; but thankfully did not follow him, Adam allowed himself to breathe easy until he saw Alice poking her hand at some shirt a few yards away. Suddenly all his earlier worry popped back into his mind at the idea of them being alone together; to talk about that night. ' C'mon, man up Adam. Just get if over with now.' Breathing a sigh, Adam remembered how great they always got along before that incident, and hoped their prior friendship could be rekindled. He had just taken his third step towards her when Alice collapsed on the floor, sending a loud 'clash' sound into the air from disturbing the clothes on the racks and rubbing their hangers against the metal. At the sight, there was an explosion of pain in his chest that consumed his entire body, and Adam bolted faster than lightning to her side. Almost skinning his knee in his hurry to get on the floor beside her. ' ALICE!!! No! God no! Not another relapse!' Having hoped so strongly that Alice was cured now, seeing her faint was too much for him to witness without folding his arm under her back and holding his friend against his chest.
" Alice! C'mon, wake up..." Biting back the strange watering in his eyes, Adam rubbed his free hand against her cheek with the same tender care he had used during their night together. Not seeing any immediate responce, his summer as a lifeguard came to mind, and Adam wasted no time pressing his mouth to hers in Resuscitation. Breathing once, Adam leaned back enough to look at her face and judge whether or not it worked. Not waiting long enough to properly tell, Adam cupped both of his hands around her face and forced his mouth back on top of hers to exhale once more into her lungs. Completely unaware of it, Adam's lips curled around her own in a manner a bit too intimate than a medical procedure is ever meant to be. Unintentionally kissing in-between exhaling breath into her mouth to try and spur her into life again.
♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ░ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ {♣♣c::{If you don't like, I can edit the last part...} ☞I am the conqueror
Byzantine mozaic in the heat
I am cursed, through the worst
With a life that's made to burn
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Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 5:52 pm
S K Y L A R XXX L E N N O X███████████████████ █████ ███
And I need you to make the promise l a s t
To contradict my past
To know that I am s a n e
To help me feel a s h a m e d
______________________________________________________________________________
Skylar knew she was just going to make herself a nervous wreck with all of this worrying. There were just too many things to worry about as of late. She was worried about Jack, she was worried about herself, and now, from the way Alice acted, she was worried about Alice and Cailen. If she kept thinking about all of this, she would just explode. Something could be wrong with Jack, Alice, and Cailen and she would worry about them but she could wait to worry about herself. With a mental nod to herself, Skylar decided that was exactly what she would do.
Sky turned her attention to Cailen when he first started to speak. She figured that if the problem was her that Cailen probably wouldn’t say anything. So when he did start talking, she gave him her full attention. She cared about him. He was her friend, after all. Yes, she did, on occasion, think of him as more than a friend but she couldn’t think about that now. She had to focus on what needed to be done. However, when Cailen had what could only be considered a minor freak out, Skylar put away everything else and gave him all her attention. She was a bit surprised at the little outburst simply because she couldn’t think of where it came from.
Skylar quickly recovered from her initial shock. Now she was on a mission and that was to find out what was going on. She gently grabbed Cailen’s hand, trying to ignore the little butterflies that went through her stomach. ’You have a boyfriend. You have Jack.’ It was a thought she kept running through her head. She gently tugged on his hand in the hopes of leading him to a quiet secluded place where they could talk. If he didn’t want to there was nothing that Skylar could do to stop him. He was much stronger than she was.
Sky faced Cailen and looked him in the eye. ”Okay, Cailen, what’s going on? And don’t even think about telling me nothing’s wrong because I know that’s not true.” With the mentality that Skylar had at the moment, she wasn’t going to leave before she found out. While waiting for Cailen’s answer, Sky found herself studying his face. She looked over every inch of it, wanting to remember every detail. She didn’t want to forget it. She knew that this would happen with all of her other friends as well but she was sort of happy that Cailen was the first one.
_____________________________________________ ________________________ You promised that you'd stayYou say you want to g oYour lips provide a s h e l t e r to theThings that I don't know
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Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 7:10 pm
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ♥ x ♥ x ♥ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀still here staggering on through the impossible
we remain, I can breathe one more day
still here still f i g h t i n g on
all we have is today find my way to the beauty
of one more day,▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ♥ x ♥ x ♥ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
An almost swirling sensation began to spin about Alice's head. She stood up, completely unaware of her currenty surroundings. Confusion fell over her; she could have sworn that she was standing in Macy's before.... That would explain it. She had fallen. Her mind began to race, wondering if perhaps she had hit her head. Clearly, she acknowledged that she must be unconscious and in some sort of a dream like state. What she didn't know what was what going on with her conscious self at the moment.
I wonder if I'm lying on a stretcher being hauled into an ambulance right now? People always overreact. I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy! She thought to herself as if she was actually trying to convince someone that she was not in any danger - or at least, did not feel that she was in any danger.
Not able to will herself back into consciousness for the moment, she began to take inventory of what surrounded her. It appeared that she was walking in some sort of park. She barely recognized it, but knew that somewhere in her mind she had seen this place before. Noticing a slightly rusted merry-go-round off to her far right, she felt compelled to walk in that direction. With each step in its direction, Alice was beginning to see the silhouette of someone sitting on its edge. As she got closer, she was able to tell that it was definitely a male figure, but she could not seem to make out the face of who it was.
Just as she was becoming close enough to see the face of whoever was sitting on the edge of the merry-go-round she began to cough. Cough. Cough. Cough. She kept coughing. Then all of a sudden everything became very bright.
Alice's eyes were slightly straining against the brightness of Macy's fluorescent lights. It would have been much brighter if not for someone hovering over her. What?... Wh-...Adam?! She noticed the boy backed off slightly as he realized that she was now awake, or at very least, waking up. She was still a touch uncertain of where she was at the moment and what was going on, despite the fact that she had known everything crystal clear while she was in her unconscious dream.
"Where am I? What's going on?" Alice questioned while her brain began to scramble for the answers that she knew were up there somewhere. It would take her a few moments to recall what had just occurred.
outofcharacter: fun fact: I totally wrote this post while I was tracking Santa on NORAD. And he totally arrived in Nova Scotia right before I finished this. =)
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Posted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 7:58 pm
Cailen$Legosi Cailen could see the shock on Skylar’s face. It was pretty clear that she hadn’t expected his outburst. Feeling ashamed of himself, he looked down at the floor biting his lower lip. He was rather shocked when he felt Skylar’s soft hands grab his and lead him out of the store. He was hoping that she wouldn’t go further into what he had said, but it was clear that she wanted to get to the bottom of this. He could have easily said something and refused to go with her, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that telling her seemed so right. Her hands felt reassuring and comforting as she led him away. At the moment his mind was full of a million different thoughts, each one fighting to get his up most attention. As they walked to a quieter place, all of the worries that have been building flashed across his mind.
The two soon stopped and Cailen looked up from the ground at Skylar. She seemed to know that he was going to try and play off his outburst. She was serious about finding out what was wrong, he could tell. This time he took the time to think about exactly what he was going to say. He did not want to leak anymore than what he already did. If only I kept my mouth shut, I wouldn’t have to do this. It was such a tough predicament. Telling her would provide temporary relief for Cailen, but on the other hand, he could potentially be putting her in danger causing even more problems. In truth, he would have rather told one of the guys about this. One reason being that they better understood his gambling and the other being that if it came to it they could defend themselves. Cailen wouldn’t have to worry as much about Adam or Jack defending themselves than he did about the girls.
He looked up into Skylar’s eyes, taking a breath before he spoke. “I can’t tell you” he said simply. His face said something totally opposite of the words he spoke. His eyes yearned to tell all, to come clean, but he managed to keep his voice steady. The less he said the better off he would be. He wanted that to be all, but he knew she wouldn’t stand for that, so he felt he had to try and explain. “I wish I could tell you, but I can’t. I could if I would, but I just couldn’t do that” he said sincerely. As much as he wanted to tell her, he would never put her in danger. He sighed, hoping that would end it, but he knew it wouldn’t be so simple.
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