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Chapter XXIV: Final Key- Final Raid

Sorry I haven't been as active as I probably should these past days, been busy with stuff. With that said, let us raid, not pillage and possibly orb hunt now!



In Aliahan: Although he really doesn't, more of just chills in there. mad



You can have you ol' Thief Key back, not like it'll do any good with these locks.~



With nothing in Aliahan, Romaly more than makes up for it. heart



Basically, there was some shipwreck where her husband died and she suicide'd about it and now she is a ghost ******** up passage to the inner continent lake with her depressing songs.



Yeah, yeah, we'll get to that. mad



We then go back to the ever so lively Tedanki to talk to the man who is in prison, apparently, the guard only watches out for intruders who enter the big gaping hole and not main cell door.



No quest needed or anything, just free. heart



With our orb, we head to Antarctica to dispose of it the proper, classy way.



There, we run into an egg guarded by two children who say the same thing, I stopped trying to put logic in this long ago. D:



Of course, later on, the egg is the most wonderful thing we'll ever see, but not now sadly..



Unfortunately, you cannot use the orbs, an Agate of Evolution and an ultra rare piece of equipment to make an overpowered piece of equipment in this game, so you sort of stick them on the alter and hope for the best.



Meanwhile in Mother Russia..



And she does! When we leave her and come back abruptly.



Although with really shitty items..



With that, we begin to sail along the south-western continent in a desperate attempt for anything.



..just don't ask why there are squids in an apparent raging river, it's way beyond my understanding.



After getting lost in the many branches of the river, we end up here.



In an apparent Indian village with log huts instead of tipis and a well to boot. Ooh, fragmented English!



Sadly, as badass that would be, all four of us running around with stone wigs on, we'd be moody bastards with bad stat ups if we did. : (



With the only person in this village who doesn't speak in a silly fragmented English accent's hint, it's off we go!



To Greenboy? Greenland? Oh yes, Greenlad!



Upon there, we find a man who likes the Change Staff.



Naturally because it's named and there's coordinates to it, we'll get it (eventually.)



cool So it is, so it is..



But we don't take the hint and sail south of the Teleportation Station and end up here.



Truth be told, I didn't even know that people's STR can exceed +9. <3 From then on, Guv becomes a STR/SPD growing Death Star of annihilation.



This is actually a really short tower, although it is more Keyboard hell. gonk



Then we get this, it's just as useless as it was in DQII, if you're a nostalgiafag and can recall everything like me.



Right, so after wasting our time, we still don't want to find a Change Staff, we we head off to a northern part of a continent we haven't explored yet.



Is it here mayhap?



No? Then what is this place used for?



...I hate my life... gonk

Next Chapter- PACHISIIIIII! The worst one yet. gonk and plot maybe a Change Staff quest if you're lucky, or more orbs, whatever comes first.

Chapter XXVI: He's Only Doing His Job!



Right, since we're in the area, have the Final Key and Roto is overleveled, we head to some guy's back yard in Lancel to participate in a quest.



Which is why Roto has to be highly overleveled and have a Flame Boomerang on her. D:



But apparently, Guv only cares about her, I'm too emotional to care about society and Liam is occupied at the golden Pears growing on the trees to the left of him.



So, it's a standard, branchy DQIII dungeon, but only with Roto. Luckily she can hit everything and hopefully one hit everything too.



This part is a big pain in the a**. It's like a massive room with the odd useless staircases sprawled out here and there.



She sort of runs around aimlessly until she comes across a stairwell that lead to this qt of an armour.



Stone face:"THIS IS NOT THE WAY!"
Hogall: "Shut up!"
Stone face: "I'm only doing my job."
-which is my Labyrinth reference, if you don't know what I'm talking about, just go shell out the $10 for the movie, it's my all time favourite movie of all. mad



However, unlike the prickly goblin Hogall, Roto lets the Stone Faces do their job.



Yay, our second orb, we're actually getting somewhere! The other chest was some generic weapon I believe.



Again, Guv is pretty much the only person who cares for the well being of Roto. : (



Still not wishing to participate in any Staff fun, we head to some Azn island.



Which a big dragon eats women here, oh shi-.



Where else but a rip off island of Japan?



Oh laud, it even raises itself so we can see it. gonk



Sadly, it isn't legit, lulz, her name is Yayoi, eh? Eh? lol



In which the villagers sort of throw a quest at us, let's go slay some dragons, I shall call this quest the dragon quest!



At least there is sexy treasure we'll get one way or another outta this..



Right, so with boring people outta the way, we go to meet their leader.



Oh, how very much of you to perpetuate your culture in a negative matter. mad



So with that, we head north to Mount Fuji a Fire Shrine.

Next Chapter- Fire Shrines, Dragons, Pimped out weapons, and a plot twist.

Chapter XXVIII: Perpetual Video Game Pirates



Being cocky bitches and feelin' it from just slayin' a dragon, you can only expect..



O man, this item is so perfect for lazy pricks like me who don't want to waste time running around the overworld trying to make it night. heart



Nice pirates, since when? Oh yeah, every other video game, NEEEEEXT! But in their defense, this game was made long before video games sought to go against stereotypes, and it's DQIII- one of the greatest DQs out there, so brownie points for them.



Mine now bitches! 4laugh



N-no I found it in the Thracian markets in the year 776?



Yeah, a flying phoenix isn't even worth a piece of gold these days.. so naturally he lets me keep it.



Yeah, yeah, go home, Robin Hood. mad



Naw, we kind of figured since this place is seemingly all about breaking stereotypes and we have Roto as our leader, so...



Apparently, you can't relate to someone without being seen as a suck up. mad



So, with nothing else to do, we head to the teleportation station to get this dreaded Change Staff.



We follow the Priest's advice and sure enough..



O laud, a funeral, you mean NPCs die?



*Shrug* that's how I'd run things if I was boss.



That's what he thinks. wink



Whereas just up the stairs we find a place to kill our funds/pimp Roto and Liam out.



Sadly, by now, you should know that every DQ NPC asks a question just to be..



..pricks. mad



So we go in through the back door. Okay, srsly, what is it with back doors in video game castles? mad



I can so relate to this King.. heart



At this point of the game, this becomes the main idea: people pretending to be people.



So, we go visit the King to exchange dictator advice, when..



Pfft, fine, at least I have a fence in my back yard to keep the commoners at bay! mad

Chapter XXX: Marle Jus' Bein' Herself.

Sadly I haven't seen any of my precious mods in like a week and I'm feeling cold and lonely. : (



Yup, that crappy little town with an item shop with two things and a theater is now a city.



I like Necrogond, unlike Rhone, it doesn't have Dragon encounters every two steps, but it still has the branching paths and stuff. heart



Well, someone hasn't changed much...



I do, but...



Much better! 4laugh come nightfall when all the cool stuff apparently only happens..



Can't you just leave the town? confused



Damn Communists. mad



But at least the item shop is slightly less pathetic for more fund killin'. heart



WELL, WELL, WELL, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? And there will be no Lucca to save your a**. <3



Don't mind if I do! 4laugh



Kay, what is it with prisoners in this game? If I had a Final Key, I'd be outta there presto. mad



It's been awhile, so I forget our orb count, but I think we're almost done. sweatdrop



Right, so in Faerie-Ville with the magic of the Change Staff, we can buy things that we could get for free if we wanted to FUUUUUU- at Pachisi or buy elsewhere.



However, only the shopkeeper is dumb, everyone is is their racist selves.



mad and everyone else despises you!



Right, so after our brief, useless run-in with the faeries, we go back to Greenlad to give this back.



Rip off! mad



But being children, we totally take it. What that means is warp to Portoga and head west, lulz.



...TO A PHANTOM SHIP, DUN DUN DUN...



I guess this would be the DQIII's version of Hell that isn't fight the God Dragon and hoping to win under 16 turns (more that to come like way later.)



However, it's a pretty boring place other than dead people moaning about their afterlife, free crappy treasure to sell and this. To Olivia's Coast it is then!

Next chapter- silly songs, Gaia Swords, volcanoes, pseudo-Rhone and possibly a phoenix!

Chapter XXXII: May be No Flying Bed or Magic Carpet, but it Works



Right, so where we last left off. OH GOD YESSSSS!



In which the orbs do some dramatic thing where they shine all their lights into laser form, to bring:



OUR LONG AWAITED AIRSHIP, YESSSSSS! And from here on out, pretty much every other DQ has their own, cool version of an airship.



I can't ride it then. : (



heart Although she flies really, really slow and time passes really fast, but oh well, we're flying! heart



First thing we do is close up this whole New Town sort of deal.



Other than making you feel like a big gaping a*****e for creating a character, building up his/her importance in life and crashing it, all you get out of this whole New Town is a Yellow Orb which we've gotten before if you can remember.



Meh, everyone has good AGL and the Star Ring on Liam is better, but how I managed to get this much is beyond me..



Right, so we progress the plot and go to one of the only places we couldn't get to.



Talking horses? Don't worry, it gets weirder.



And we get to watch her do that! 4laugh



In which we find out way later is quite Hell.



Dragon Quest/Warrior- there's always a stronger guy after the strong guy.



Sadly, we don't get to hurl it into monsters like a boss..



Which she either transforms into the egg she lays or..



Lays an egg about the size of her, ouch. gonk



With that disturbing image etched deep into your mind, we head off to the Rhoneish area to take on Baramos.



Castle in the mountains, where have we seen this before?



OH GOD YES!
Fun fact: We're about halfway through this game and even the bonus dungeon doesn't have an enemy that gives out as much EXP as these qts.



At least I'm having a good time.



A very good time.



To our dismay, the front gate doesn't lead into the castle.
Dragon Quest/Warrior- there's always something behind the throne.



A very, very good time.



So is Liam, oh man, Metal Babbles are beautiful. heart



And ladies and gentlemen, our main attraction.

Next Chapter- An anti-climatic battle, not the end, thunder and an epic plot twist!



PS: I'm still having a good time.



A magnificent time if you will.

Chapter XXXIV: A Hero(ine) Fell From the Sky!



First things first: we head to Portoga to find that Baramos' curse lifted on that one couple that I'm sure you remember that he cursed.



She says that, but...



She can go burn (or freeze) in Rhone. mad



With that, we head to the only place we haven't gone yet.



O laudy, misty caves, I'm excite.



Fun, fun, fun...



Alright, alright, we'll save him, sheesh, we better get something good out of this. mad



We end up in some place with grass and rivers, lolwut?



Yes, we totally went there, Kol n' all. heart



Which the other guy just sort of had to swim, which none of the DQ/W mains can do, my personal favourite DQ waterphobia case was operating a stone golem to cross an ankle deep river.



THIS BETTER LOOK FAMILIAR FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME! mad



Yup, you guessed it, still kickin' as usual.



And just cause (ie: Roto hating her Dad for ******** up her normal life) we do this. 4laugh



And screw you lady. mad



Ah, the inn, still locking their customers in their rooms. heart



A.K.A my life. emo



Oh man, so that's how you look like under the green kinky leather mask!



That's what you told us before, p***k. mad



Only there is a slight plot twist in it..



Since DW I am a full Rainbow Bridge believer, cause we're just that scared of water.



In which as if a mental ******** were to trigger it, the castle moves to the left of the town 100 years later, I don't even-.



Linda's a*****e



We get bored of town gossip and head straight to Tantegel Castle.

Next Chapter- Moar nostalgia, sassy caves, plot twists and somewhat exploring Alefgard!

Chapter XXXVI: Not-So-Marsh-Cave



So, as the chapter reads and because apparently mountains can grow to impossible heights in 100 years, we head to the Marsh Cave via south of Tantegel.



To meet more of Sidious' apprentices, luckily without red light sabers.



Our prize:



Cursed equipment. Good God, the Marsh Cave was useless in the future and it's still useless in the past. mad



In a rage, we storm further south to the possibly ruined desert town.



Just kidding! Haukness is also the biggest town in DQIII, o u Horii and your irony! 4laugh



Okay, I guess the Marsh Cave wasn't that useless..



Of course, being a big town, gotta expect, overpriced, amazing stuff. D:



"Inn" the inn, we find this qt.



Yeah, yeah, we'll get there, we'll get there. mad



In here, we witness the biggest p***k moment in the game. : D



And what do we do? We sell it. cool



Taking a break from Haukness, we head off to Assaram to partake in a lovely conversation.



Oh God, you're going to love this.



Apart from somehow being stronger than semi-legendary armour, it also does something else for our heroine:



*Wolf whistle* cool



Ah, Cantlin, only without the Stone Golem.



Just don't ask. Why they put a sneezing man in this game? I have absolutely no idea, mayhap to add interest? D:



Horses should really stop eating Orichalcum! mad



In which it's just a rock for now.



In which this foreshadowing man is talking about is this well.



Yes, yes, we get the point, to Cantlin it is! mad



But not really.

Next chapter- Mystic stuff, perpetual faeries and Cantlin!

XXXVIII: Or Not



I'm not even going to bother to explain all the horrors I had on this track, there's too much to b***h about. gonk



So I'm just going ahead and doing this.



Ehh, I learned not to equip any accessories that aren't already on our heroes.



But Liam does get a beautiful weapon to slap everyone around with.



With Kol out of the way, we head south to find that the path connecting the two continents and will have Gwaelin stashed away in 100 years later isn't complete yet.



"But thou must."



Right, so the tunnel was a waste of time, so off to the tower northwest of Kol for a pleasant welcome.



Needless to say: I enjoyed the welcome.



This is what makes the tower the second worst dungeon in the game, the arrows ******** with your directional buttons and I'm too lazy to memorize which way and how they ******** with it, so nine times out of ten I usually end up falling into the barrier.



Upon leaving that part Roto was simply overjoyed about leaving it.



So was I.



This part has to be the worst part in the game, make one wrong step and you end up on the floor below this one. gonk



As usual, I was happy to know that there will be no more of that for awhile.



We finally get to the top to this whole Rubiss in a statue deal.



Once again, we play the flute to trigger a blue triangle to spawn.



Which causes Rubiss to be very excited and break out of the statue. Sadly she doesn't really do anything but say "O U MST SAVE ALEFGARD!"



With that out of the way, we head to the final town.



...Note to self: next play through, just don't buy new weapons until I get here...



As expected.



You take half a step across to get to Zoma, honestly, if you can swim up a river without throwing a sword into a volcano, then you should be able to take half a step across a peninsula. mad



And of course...



Only he's not.



In which he goes on to make a shittier version of the Magic Key which breaks after one use. D:<



Oh yes, and.. which will save us precious Yggdrasil Leafs whenever I kick the dust.



And a not so sexy bikini.

Next Chapter- Rainbows, special effects, bridges and the final dungeon!