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 Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 2:33 am
"He's a beautiful monster" "You're a knife, sharp and deadly"  
His blush just kept getting worse and worse, first to find out that Dendera wasn't just teasing him to be teasing him, then the other hand on his face, the gentle thumb stroke over his warm cheek, the words that had been confessed to him earlier in the evening, even just the way the man was looking at him. It was all almost surreal, and he probably would have slipped into the beginning of some sort of denial if not for the Umbreon's hands weighing him down in reality, only reassuring him that he wasn't just hearing or seeing things. None of it was harsh, none of it was rough or cold, it was all so warm and soft, something he still wasn't used to, wasn't sure if he could ever be used to. But, it was happening, and he was paralyzed where he sat. His hand was squeezing the remote so tight his knuckles had turned white, as well as the hand that was balled into a fist. But, he didn't have the urge to hit the man anymore, or maybe he did? He couldn't really tell.
His hand finally released the remote, raising hesitantly, pausing at one of Dendera's arms briefly before moving closer. Silas's fingers twitched just slightly at the contact at first, almost as if the skin was hot or ice cold, unused to the sensation of another. But, his hand moved forward until it was resting lightly on the man's arm, the pale ivory a sharp contrast against the man's pale brown tone. His eyes glanced over at his hand before looking back at red eyes, uncertain of his own actions, but at the same time not really minding them. His thoughts were blank yet still a mess, his emotions mixing and turning, the pressure in his chest twisting and pressing.
The man's words had calmed him down, yet made him that much more tense, if for an entirely different reason, one that he couldn't name or understand. Was he feeling embarrassed? Unsure? Nervous? They were all emotions that he wasn't too familiar with, ones he couldn't easily identify, but he felt vulnerable, just as much so as he had earlier, if not more so. The Vaporeon almost couldn't look into Dendera's eyes, or look at Dendera at all, it was all almost too overwhelming to him. But, he also couldn't look away, either. Maybe the man's words had done more than calm him down, they were warm, too warm, reaching somewhere inside him that he hadn't felt in such a long time, a place he'd tried to close off for years. Just as it had earlier, it was showing itself again, rushing over him, pushing past the remnants of his forced closure.
Silas could only stare at the man, and he was almost sure he could see something red on his cheeks, but thought he was seeing things before his focus returned to the man's eyes. He may have seen it before, Dendera blushing, but it was something he almost couldn't even acknowledge. He'd never seen the man blush before, it almost seemed impossible for him, as 'outgoing' as he came off to the Vaporeon, especially with him usually breaking into his personal space so often. But, it was a fleeting thought, his mind quieting to silence as he got lost in those familiar red eyes. He could never figure out why they were so hard to escape from, why they always calmed him down, why he always ended up just staring into them. They were different from eyes he'd seen before, and not just their color. Something about them was comforting, reassuring, warm, even..trusting. He didn't feel like what they held was out to get him, out to hurt him, out to intentionally ruin his life in some way. And, some part of him understood that, though most of him hadn't yet fully caught onto it, but the part that did resonated with it, and took refuge in them.
He almost wanted to say something, anything, but his mouth wouldn't comply, neither would his voice, or his thoughts. Really, he couldn't think of anything to say anyway. His body gradually relaxed, his fist finally loosening and releasing his fingers from the grip they once had, his legs no longer pulled so tight to his chest as they were. The movie didn't even register as background noise anymore, the room was gone, even the sound of his breathing and the blood pumping in his ears. His heart wasn't rushing for once, wasn't beating rapidly, but instead was calm and slow, a steady rhythm inside his chest. The pressure was still there, but it wasn't twisting, just an unknown weight on his chest, and his thoughts were as quiet as ever. All there was were those eyes, the feel of warm skin, a peaceful calm he still wasn't accustomed to. For once it felt like the world was quiet, like he didn't have to think of anything, didn't have to have his guard up, didn't have to be alert and on his toes. For once, he could just be there and not have to put up a front, didn't want to put up a front.
"And it's me that you cut into" "But I don't mind"  ( Click for full image of mask )
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Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:33 am
 Dendera Eboni x
x
x Dendera watched as the vaporeon began to tense up, his face only becoming more hot beneath his hands and he just began to trace random lines over the red cheeks with his thumbs gently, taking in the warmth he could feel beneath his hands. At some point his mouth dropped just slightly agape with the soft heaving of his breath. It almost felt like he was holding his breath, just staring into deep blue eyes in what seemed to be perfect silence - despite the sounds coming from the television. All that he could really hear at this moment was the gentle heaving of their chests and the soft breaths coming from their lips as they simply stared at one another.
He found himself frozen as he felt a soft hesitant touch against his arm, he actually flinched just slightly at the touch, before letting his skin ease into it. It wasn't that he had expected any violent actions, no at this point he was too lost to be thinking like the logical soldier that he usually was. He flinched because he was so unaccustomed to being touched gently by Silas. His brow knitted into confusion and contemplation as he tried to figure out what was going on in the vaporeon's head, but it was as difficult to decipher as ever.
He took in the air to speak, the thought of asking had come to mind, but he let the breath go, not wanting to speak and break this moment. 'I love you..' the words he'd spoken, the same words he'd also heard from Silas, clanged in his mind as he stared at him. At some point his breathing had calmed and it seemed that everything had become soft and calm and welcoming, without him even noticing the change, it had been so subtle and was lost in that stare.
In the comfort of the silence, the umbreon found himself able to do what he'd moments ago found himself incapable of. He leaned closer to the vaporeon's face, his eyelids dropping to find himself staring through half-lidded eyes at Silas. It became a series of slow movements to make sure that he wasn't rejected or pushed away, before he actually pressed his lips against his companion's, his thumbs had ceased movement and now only lightly gripped the man's face as he gently kissed him, once, twice, and now three times, before ever pulling his lips away. And when he did pull back it was only slightly, his face still lingering very close to the others, still unsure of himself but wanting badly to display the affection that he felt for the other.
He could very clearly feel his own heart in his chest, it wasn't racing, but it was loudly thumping in his ears with every pulse. His hands even shook just slightly, it was barely noticeable, but Dendera noticed, 'I don't think..I have ever wanted so badly to impress someone..' he thought to himself feeling almost foolish for how nervous all of this made him when nothing else in the world ever made him ill at ease.
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Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:31 am
"He's a beautiful monster" "You're a knife, sharp and deadly"
The gentle motions of the thumb on his cheek were soothing in an odd way, if he could think he probably would've related it to how a cat felt when its ears were rubbed. At least, that's as best as it probably could've been described. It calmed him more than he already was, almost like when a child is tracing patters in a daze into a soft blanket with a finger, it was just soothing to him, even though normally it made him blush ridiculously. He saw the confusion on Dendera's face, but he was too lost in his eyes to really take much more note of it. He found himself strangely aware of every movement the man made, the slightest twitch, the faintest move, but none of it was alarming to him, and so he didn't do anything to counter any of it. He felt calm, peaceful, safe.
Silas was aware of the distance between them closing, the slight grip on his face, and soon the lips on his own. It was similar to what he'd done himself earlier, but longer. His had been brief, quick, rushed, and very uncertain. But, Dendera's was longer, softer, and somehow warmer. At first his eyes had gone a little wide at the action, his heart beat picking up slightly, but then his eyes met red ones again, and soon enough he was calm once more, and once again unable to look away, as much as he almost wanted to. His heartbeat finally slowed down to a steady rhythm after a few moments, the pressure in his chest tightening as the small bit of time went by. He felt confused, his brow drawing together slightly, the confusion visible on his face briefly until his thoughts finally started to work, though for a change he hadn't forced them to. 'I...I...Do I really..? But..I do. I..,' he thought to himself, his other hand raising slowly almost of its own accord, palm resting against the Umbreon's cheek lightly.
Before Silas really knew it himself, his eyelids gradually closed as he closed the distance between the two once more, lips meeting Dendera's in a soft kiss. 'I..I love you..' his thoughts finally finished, his hands gripping the man's arm and cheek just slightly. It was only once, that was all he could manage to do before he pulled away a little, but keeping his face close. The Vaporeon's eyes finally glanced off to the side, his face lighting up an obvious shade of red. He tried not to look at the man, though it was hard to not at least see him with their faces so close, but his body wasn't willing to move any further, and part of him didn't mind that.
He still couldn't speak, words were beyond him at this point. If he had to be honest, he probably couldn't even recite the English alphabet properly. He felt nervous, shy, embarrassed, vulnerable, yet he didn't want to push the Umbreon away. His violent intentions, for once, had ceased. There was a part of him that recoiled at his own actions, but it was so small in the moment, a much, much larger part of him wanted the proximity, wanted the warmth, the contact, wanted the feelings swelling up inside of himself. As strange as it all felt to him, new and unknown, he wanted it. Though, the smaller part of him that still didn't know how to handle any of it, didn't know how to fully give in to it all, would still strike if it got the chance to. But, for now, all he could really feel was the closeness, the warmth, the strange new feelings, and the only thing he could hear were their own breaths, his own blood, his own heart beating firmly but steadily in his chest.
"And it's me that you cut into" "But I don't mind" ( Click for full image of mask )
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Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:59 am
Dendera Eboni x
x
x Dendera could feel his own breaths sharply leaving his lips, he felt almost out of breath even though the kisses hadn't been enough to really cause it. It was more likely just cause by the intensity of this moment, and the silence that seemed to close in around them, and that stare that the vaporeon firmly held on him. He never did understand what it was that Silas saw, but he often caught the man just staring so intensely into his own red eyes, and that was what he saw now. When he was finally kissed again, it was infinitely more welcoming than the kiss that Silas had given earlier that night, it was so warm and tender. And for once, he really felt like Silas wasn't afraid of him.
When his companion did pull out of that kiss, Dendera's lips were left hanging open, a warm breath drawn from them as his eyes opened to see that blue stare for the brief moment before it was taken away, Silas looking away from him now shyly, those cheeks still so hot and painted red. The umbreon pressed a dark hand against the man's warm face, urging him to look at him again, not wanting him to shy away from him this time. He couldn't help but to think how absolutely beautiful the vaporeon was to him right now, vulnerable, and for once open and welcoming instead of violent and untouchable.
Before their eyes had the chance to be caught into that deep stare again though, he slid a hand down from the other's cheek, slowly caressing the skin that it passed until coming to rest softly on his shoulder. This left one hot blushing cheek exposed, and that was what Dendera leaned closely to kiss now, leaving soft and loving kisses along the heated flesh, feeling his lips become warm from just the touch. When his kisses stopped, he didn't pull away, instead keeping his lips against the skin there as he spoke softly, "I feel dizzy.." he said softly, so quietly, in a heated breath.
Though it couldn't be seen at such close proximity, the umbreon's brow was tightly furrowed as he tried to understand the feelings that he was experiencing and the thoughts that danced around in his head. But none of it made any logical sense aside from the simple fact that he was in love and he loved every touch and kiss, however brief or long they became. The hand that still rested on Silas's cheek now began to join the other hand in a motion, sliding back to rest on the vaporeon's shoulder blades, lightly clutching the material of his shirt there as Dendera placed one last soft kiss against his blushing cheek.
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Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 5:52 am
"He's a beautiful monster" "You're a knife, sharp and deadly"
He felt the hand on his cheek pull and tried to resist it, but was currently unable to put up much of a fight. His face turned as the hand directed, and his eyes met red ones again. But, before any thoughts could surface, he felt the hand move to his shoulder and lips on his cheek, his blush getting worse even as Dendera spoke. He almost nodded in agreement subconsciously before he managed to stop himself, trying to focus on his breathing instead. The Vaporeon felt hands move, sliding from his shoulders to his shoulder blades, the warmth building up through the borrowed shirt as another kiss was left on his cheek. He was close, so close, maybe too close.
Silas would've come off as frozen if not for his body trembling. It wasn't the nervousness, the shyness, and it definitely wasn't fear, far from it in fact. The pressure in his chest had lessened a bit after the kiss, but now it was building up again and he didn't know what to do with it. He liked how close the man was, but, '..it's too close, so close..too fast..I can't..I..' he thought to himself, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again, shifting his hands to rest above Dendera's collarbone near his shoulders, pushing gently, his hands trembling with the rest of his body. His breathing had picked up a little, his heart beating quickly, he felt almost exhausted, like he'd run a mile, yet almost like he was wide awake at the same time. But, no matter how he tried, he couldn't get his eyes to really focus, or any of his senses for that matter. Everything was shaking, pushing, overwhelmed.
Part of him didn't want to leave the man's warmth, leave the feelings he'd felt so strongly just moments ago, but another part of him was overwhelmed by them, unused to them, and couldn't understand or tolerate them for very much longer. Everything was still so new to him, and even his own feelings overwhelmed him. It had to be slow, it had to be gradual, and they would both need patience. It was a miracle in itself that Silas could even bring himself to kiss the man within a little over a month of visiting him, something he never would have even dreamed of doing, something he would have considered almost as a nightmare before. Everything was changing so quickly, his built up world was slipping out from under his feet faster and faster each time he even visited the Umbreon, and he was starting to struggle for something to hold onto, until he realized he was holding onto something.
Silas stopped pushing almost instantly as he was finally able to think some things over to himself, eyes shifting to look at where his hands were gripped before going slightly wide at the realization. '..I..I can't hold onto him..can I..?' he thought to himself, tightening his grip slightly, experimentally. '..But what if he leaves me all alone, stuck like this..? What if I really have no one? What if I go back to how I was before?!' he thought again, tears welling up at the edges of his eyes, '..did I..really hate it so much before? Did I hate being the way I was and.. alone..?'
His eyes closed a little as the tears finally spilled over, streaming lightly down his warm cheeks silently, dripping with the faintest sound onto the dark, leather couch cushion. "..Can I.." he finally spoke, his voice quiet yet clearly audible in the almost silence, "..can I really...hold onto you? ..You won't go anywhere..?" He asked his words hesitantly, quietly. He still didn't really know what to do, didn't really know if he could fully trust the man even though part of him felt it could, he still didn't know if things would end up like before, or just as bad, and he didn't want them to.
"And it's me that you cut into" "But I don't mind" ( Click for full image of mask )
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Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 6:35 am
Dendera Eboni x
x
x Dendera could feel the light shaking that was beneath his hands as the vaporeon trembled in his grasp. He wasn't sure what it was that caused the tremors but he was sure for once that it wasn't fear. Silas was trusting him enough to touch and be touched, he obviously wasn't afraid of him. He let the thoughts slip away from him as he felt a gentle pushing against his collar. It actually almost brought him back into reality, into the living room, back onto the couch, and back to the fact that Silas usually rarely let him close for very long.
But when no violent movements were made and all that he felt was the trembling against his his collarbone, he was pulled back into their own little world where the only thing that mattered was Silas and he didn't have to think about anything else. His hands slid away from Silas's back, coming down his arms to rest against the pale hands that were shaking against him. He held onto them tightly, but didn't dare to pull them away from him, letting Silas keep his grip on him, in an attempt to comfort him and calm the trembling. He wanted to tell him that he was ok, to promise him that nothing could hurt him, that nothing would touch him, that he would always be there, would protect him from anything. But the words died on his open lips as he now stared into shaken blue eyes.
He felt the grip on his skin tighten, not enough to cause any discomfort, just enough to be noticed, he wasn't sure why Silas was staring so intently at his hand that had now tightened their grip but the thought fleeted as soon as he saw the tears in the vaporeon's eyes, reaching his hands out over those warm cheeks again when he saw the tears fall onto his cheeks. He ran the back of his fingers over the man's cheeks gently pressing his thumbs to them as well, wiping away the tears. "Don't cry.." he said in almost a whisper, concern clear on his face.
But he was frozen when the vaporeon began to speak. His brow was drawn and his mouth slightly agape as he listened, it surprised him to hear something like that from Silas and the only clear thought he really had was the the vaporeon should already know that he wasn't going anywhere. After a moment of nearly silent breath, that seemed to last much longer than it really had, Dendera found the voice to speak, but it was soft and almost hoarse, "You can..hold me whenever you want to.. I'll always be here," he assured Silas, "I would never leave you." he offered, his constant promise to be there for him always, and then leaned close to place a soft and brief kiss on the man's lips, pulling away right after to stare him in his blue eyes again, an assurance that he was being sincere, "I would never hurt you." the words will still spoken softly, straining to speak in what seemed an impossibly thick silence.
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Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:29 am
"He's a beautiful monster" "You're a knife, sharp and deadly"
He felt the fingers on his hands, then cheeks, listening to the Umbreon's words closely, almost intently. The kiss was brief, part of him still wanting to recoil at the action, but he remained still, only staring at his hands as he thought over everything. He vaguely took note of the sound of the man's voice, and would have looked up if he could. But, he couldn't bring himself to look anywhere else but at his hands, didn't want to be seen like he was, even though Dendera could most definitely see his face. He was under the small, comforting illusion that if he wasn't looking at the Umbreon, then the Umbreon couldn't see him, even though he knew that was the farthest thing from the truth. It was the only thing he could lean on in his current state, the only thing that made him able to speak as he was. His eyes closed after a moment, but he was starting to regret that action as his mind decided to pull up a memory from the past, one to use as its own defense.
"You're reeeally not going anywhere?" "Where would I go? I'll be here forever, I thought it was obvious. I am king of this slum. ..Hey, wait, what are you doing? Silas, you're such a crybaby." "W-what-!? I am not! Aaaaleex." "Hey! I told you not to call me that!" "Tch, nyaaaaa- Well someone has to put you in your place or else your ego will get too big." "Silas-! That's it! You're demoted. Go clean my shoes." "Tch, as if. You like me too much to make me clean your damn shoes, not that they could be cleaned anyway, they're too dirty." "..whatever. Brat." "Back at ya, King of the Ego."
It was strange to hear himself laughing in the memory, and even more strange, and somehow unnerving to hear the voice of his old 'friend'. It made his hair stand on end and his grip to tighten slightly, his eyes snapping open before quickly glancing to the side. His brow drew together, his expression slightly pained, as well as a mix of confusion, uncertainty, frustration, anger, and sadness. It was a sharp contrast to what he'd felt not too long ago, and he suddenly found himself unable to handle anything more for the night. "I..need to go to bed," he finally spoke up, his voice a little strained, but quiet nonetheless, retracting his hands after a moment and shifting a bit to slide out of the man's grip and off of the couch.
Silas stood for a moment, paused, torn between just walking off without any warning or actually bothering to leave some sort of clue as to what he was thinking about. "..Please," he started again, his voice a little quieter this time, eyes finally glancing over at his companion, "..don't follow me this time. I..I need to think to myself." And with that, he quietly, and as casually as possible, left the room. Part of him was uncomfortable with leaving, but another part of him was starting to fall apart and doing its best to stay together until Dendera was out of sight. He could vaguely hear the tv now, fading into the distance as he quickly, and quietly, scaled the stairs, making his way down the hall. The tears hit as soon as he'd reached the familiar bedroom, running over before jumping and landing face first into the black blankets laid out over the man's bed.
For the first time in a long time, the Vaporeon sobbed. It wasn't hard, it wasn't loud, but his chest heaved a bit and his heart hurt like it hadn't in a while. It wasn't because of the Umbreon, or his feelings, at least not directly. The memories still ached, memories he'd pushed away for just as long as he'd pushed his own feelings away. But with his resolve and all of his work unraveling, things surfaced again, the good and the bad. Silas turned his head to the side after a few minutes, raising one of his hands up to his face to wipe away the streams of tears from his cheeks, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down. It was only after he'd managed to do that did he realize where he went, what room he was in, who's bed he was on. But, it was too late for him to change it, and really, it was almost comforting. The room, the house, the bed was Dendera's, he could even smell Dendera with his face pressed so close to the blanket, as odd a thought as it was to him.
He let his eyes gradually lose focus, his thoughts going over the memories, the reassurance of his companion. Eventually, his mind just let it all go, his exhaustion finally catching up with him. Soon enough, his eyes were closed, his breathing had become steady again, face half buried in the blankets, and he had drifted off into a sleep that was far deeper than usual, much more needed than usual. But, Silas didn't hurt completely, part of him still felt the warmth and comfort he'd felt earlier, the feelings his companion seemed to share, and it was a comfort to him, one that he desperately needed.
"And it's me that you cut into" "But I don't mind" ( Click for full image of mask )
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Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:52 am
Dendera Eboni x
x
x Dendera stayed silent as it seemed that Silas was still sorting through all of his thoughts, lost in them, and looking away from him. Usually he would force Silas to look at him right now, he just wanted to let whatever made him feel better happen, and if it was pretending that he could hide from the umbreon - that was just fine. When the vaporeon decided that he wanted to go to sleep, taking his leave of Dendera with the request that the umbreon remain in the living room, the umbreon obliged, not jumping up after him. "Sleep well.." he said softly, probably too softly and it may have gone unheard beneath the sound of the television that now seemed too loud and obnoxious to the Egyptian as he became aware of it.
He quickly snatched up the remote that Silas had earlier abandoned, and pressed the power button, pleased to see the screen cut off and the sound cease. Then his eyes fell on the staircase in the distance where the shorter male had exited, already out of sight. He felt so conflicted, just staring at those steps. He wanted to follow after him, not because he wanted to tease him, or to just simply be around him, but just because he was worried about him. He wanted to be sure that the vaporeon was alright, and that if he needed him, that the umbreon was there and would try to make it better. But with a sigh he settled with himself that for once he needed to just listen to Silas, and just give him space.
The dark-skinned male could also use the time just to rest. He fell back softly against the leather of the couch and suddenly where he had felt so hot before, now he was cooled, the warmth of the other having made it's exit. He stared up at the white ceiling, his fingers lace, palms holding the back of his head. His mind traced over everything that was said, everything that was done, and the promises that he continued to give to the vaporeon. "Nothing will hurt you.." he whispered to the empty room, even though Silas wasn't there to hear it, "I'm not going anywhere..I won't let you go." he assured the boy that wasn't present to get the reassurance. But it was things that he needed to say, to hear himself say.
And with that the umbreon rolled over on his side, staring at black leather. He probably would have been more comfortable with pillows and blankets but they were in his bedroom closet, and he already knew that was exactly where Silas had gone, and he was just going to let the other rest for now, he needed it. It wasn't long before eyelids got heavy, slipping shut over deep red eyes and then he slipped into dreams that no one would ever know of, and he would probably forget.
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