here to crit <3
personi think the track quality matches reeeally well with velociraptors. o v o
for her babysitting quality, i know that she loves kids and i get the point you're trying to make. but should she really be taking them anywhere the kids want? i mean doing what they want is fine, but having to drag them all around (little kids have the attention span of a duck xD) seems tiring, especially since she doesnt have very good endurance to begin with. it also seems a bit like she's spoiling the children. i think anyone who cares enough about children like her would realize that spoiling children is never a good thing? xD
as for her crazy smartness, i find it odd that she can pick things up in a snap, but doesnt want to apply herself. if she figures it out so quickly, wouldnt she just want to do it and get it done with? this whole trait also comes off as a bit ... mary-sue-ish? i dont know how else to explain that ...
for protective, is she the same way with material objects? and how is she protective. you say she puts herself in front of them, but what if its a problem like a friend is being mentally picked on because shes dating some mean girl's ex? what i mean to say is that not all problems are necessarily physical. (hope that makes sense)
as for loyal, is there anything that really angers her? i should think that you can only turn a cheek for so long...
and if her loyalty is gained so easily, how does she protect everyone? for example, two friends of hers are fighting. which would she protect since she is loyal to both?
for self harm, i would maybe change it to something more like self hatred? it sounds like shes not harming herself, but disliking herself for messing up. perhaps this could also evolve into a perfectionist habit?
herp derp doesnt make sense to me at all, unfortunately. if someone is smart and has quick wit, lips are more than capable. it takes five seconds to speak what you're thinking, so i cant imagine it being hard for her lips to "work." is it maybe because shes too nice to say the mean remarks? it also wouldnt make sense if she could pick things up quickly. if she is so smart and witty, i should think shed speak it loud and proud. i just dont think this trait matches.
and why is she jittery, irritable, etc when shes alone? you say above that she can either sit still or be walking and pacing. so why cant she sit still to do work? and why would being along make her so irritable? and when she is at home, doesnt she have parents/siblings/whatever you create around so that shes not necessarily alone? overall i think this trait just needs more description.
for the person, i really think you need to just write a bit more for each trait and describe more so that it clears up some of these discrepancies.
for the senshi, i think she's really well thought out, and i dont really see any problem with it. i like the imagery of the third attack especially c:
and dont take much of this especially hard. grain of salt sort of opinion xD <3
crit back?