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 Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:51 am
..:: Separation Hallucinations part 4 ::...
[Memory Format, this is part of Kagyaku's back story, this goes on during the separation of Kagyaku and Deskri.] -------.. They'd taken him somewhere else. I couldn't find him when I came back to check on him during one of our small retreats. When I asked where he was, they said they had done what I asked and he was as far away from the war as possible, working as a healer.
"He's only ------- years old!" I objected, he wasn't old enough to be working!"I'm sorry, but his talents are necessary. There's a lot of wounded soldiers coming back from the war and we don't have many healers.""Pain makes him sick! You're not doing what I asked!" I slammed my fist down on the counter, but the man simply shrugged.
He was probably getting -------- again. I knew that some of these soldiers were deprived of comforting flesh and so they would often use the nearest person regardless of what sex they were.
I was above that. They were disgusting, freaks of nature, completely unnatural. Who would want to do that? It wasn't good. It wasn't a pain I liked.
------ was even more sensitive toward it than I was, father wasn't the first to force it on him. The first time I felt it I nearly dropped the dish I was cleaning. It took me a few moments to figure out what was going on, but when I did....
I never saw that man again......
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Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:00 am
..:: Separation Hallucinations Final Part ::..
[Memory Format, this is part of Kagyaku's back story, this goes on during the separation of Kagyaku and Deskri.] I made it outside, I was almost free, but someone had sounded the alarm. They blocked off my exit, planning to corner me.
"You think you can just end me now?!" I roared at the growing crowd of scientists which were flooding out of the building."666, take him out."The head scientist ordered a small creature to be the one to do me in. I was insulted.. 666 was tiny, at least three feet shorter than me. It's skin was gray, it's eyes were black, it's hair was matted and cut at random lengths. Insulting. There was no way this thing could take me out.
I attacked it with my bare hands, which was what did me in.
As soon as I made contact with it's skin I felt the life draining through my fingers. I fell over, the world was turning black, I could hear cheers."Good job Wither! Now come finish off the rest of them."Wither, I should have known, I had heard about him. The boy with the power to kill with just a touch. I faded into nothingness.
And then I blinked.
I couldn't move though, I couldn't speak, I couldn't do anything but watch this new body of mine do things on it's own accord, speak on it's own accord, eat, drink, and sleep on it's own accord.
But this new body of mine was clumsy. It kept hurting itself, and eventually I was able to reach out.
"Hello, Deskri." I knew my body's name after such a long time spent listening to it interact with others."Who's there?"My body responded to me almost fearfully. "I am, you are, we are." I wanted him to think that we were one and the same, it would be easier to kill him off that way.
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Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:38 pm
..:: Finally Free ::..
[Roleplay Format]
Once the separation was complete, Deskri no longer felt the electrocuting waves of pain wash over him even when he was lying perfectly still. When he went to sit up though, he cried out as all of his muscles lit up with a fire of pain and refused to work.
He collapsed back down onto his bed, panting for breath. "******** b-b*****d..." He muttered softly, eyes fluttering shut again. He was feeling tired, very tired. More tired than he had ever felt before it seemed. Whether he wanted to or not, he fell asleep.
The visions Kagyaku had shown him replayed in his dreams, causing him to scream or cry at various points. He had never known what sort of life Kagyaku had led before dying, but he figured it wasn't a good one.
Several hours later, when he finally resurfaced to the world of consciousness, he tried sitting up again only to fail just as he had before. "Why did you pull this s**t on me?" He demanded from Kagyaku.
No answer came.
"Answer me!" He grew annoyed with the silence.
Still, no answer.
He began to panic. Was he really alone? Truly, truly alone? His heart beat quickened and he forced himself to get out of the bed, no longer caring about the pain in caused. "Kagyaku answer me!"
Nothing. Not even a laugh or a snort.
Deskri was at a loss of what to do, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had his head all to himself. It was almost as if Kagyaku had been talking to him his entire life, even though he knew that wasn't true. He moved to the bathroom, which was when he noticed the blood running down his legs.
The wounds he'd inflicted upon himself had reopened without Kagyaku's power to keep them closed. "********..." He hurried into the bathroom and started the water. The entire ordeal was painstaking but he fought through it for the sake of being clean once more.
By the time he made it back into bed after cleaning that up, he was sure he wasn't going to be able to move for the next day or two. Once again sleep overwhelmed him and he lost contact with his consciousness. The last vision replayed in his head, and somewhere in that dream he realized.
He knew how to kill Kagyaku. That was why Kagyaku was going to kill him when he returned.
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Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 9:15 pm
..:: I Love You ::..
I love you so much, I can't express it in words or actions. I feel like I'm going to burst, and whenever you say it back to me, I feel like fainting.
Is it true?
I'm not dreaming, right?
I didn't die and go to heaven?
I never, ever thought this would ever happen. I was so sure that you'd shun me for life if you ever found out how I feel... It seems kind of silly to think that way now, but god... I was terrified. So terrified.
All I can say is "thank you." Thank you for loving me back, I promise I won't let you down. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy, I'll do whatever you want. Anything, anything to keep you interested in me, to keep your gaze my way, to keep on belonging to you. I'll stay here forever, even if you can't see me I'll be with you, the friend that never fades, you're shadow... Thank you.
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Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:20 am
..:: Lost ::..
Sonnet, oh god Sonnet... I've failed you again... because of my stupidity that thing has you and I... I don't know if I'm strong enough to take you back from her. I promised I'd be there for you when you needed me and I...
I wasn't. I was selfishly locked in my own problems, ignoring yours completely... after this is over, I'll leave you be. You deserve better friends. Friends that can keep their promises, friends that aren't batshit insane.
I don't know what to do without him there, telling me my next move, providing advice, cutting me down and then picking me up again. He'd know what to do...He would have told me to stay at the ball and get you back, there was no need to abandon Rasiel there.
Rasiel... if you're hurt too I... I won't last after this. I'll fight to get Sonnet back, I'll get revenge for you, but then after...
I promised I wasn't going anywhere but I don't think I can keep living if I know I'm a danger to the people I love most.
God, why did he leave me before all of this happened!? Right when I need him!
God I hate him and I love him.... I wanted him to go, I wanted him to leave me alone, I just wanted to be normal. But normal is lonely, I don't understand how everyone else can function! It's so goddamn quiet all the time. No matter how much I call out for him he never responds.. He's really, really gone.
Maybe he'll come back when I'm done... When Sonnet's safe...I'll willingly let him take my life then.
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Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 10:52 pm
..:: Not Who I Thought You Were ::..
What was that?
I don't even... What?
You dare hurt the one person that was there for me when no one else could stand me anymore? The one friend that actually stuck around when she said she would? Unlike a certain someone, that's for sure.
I haven't forgotten, there's no way I could forget. First, you said we were best friends. Then you blamed me for everything that went wrong. We made up, you said you loved me... Then you DISAPPEARED! For years! You said we were going to be friends forever and that was the second lie.
Then you come back. Silly me, instead of forgetting all about you like a sane person would I kept my little feelings for you alive the whole time you were gone, and when I saw you again... I was so happy. SO happy... Sonnet, being the good friend she is left us alone for awhile.
s**t happened. Whatever. Water under the bridge.
You KILLED yourself somehow, and then came back to life? I don't... I don't know how that worked but whatever. You told me that you love me too, that you'd live forever for me, that you WANT me, that you'll always be there.
You ******** me.
And then you pulled this s**t? What the hell were you thinking? I may love you more than I can describe but this... This is an unforgivable act. This time I'm killing these feelings. I'll make sure Sonnet is fine, I'll take her back, nurse her to health, and then finally...
Finally I'll end it all. I'm done. Too tired to keep this up... Sonnet will do better with friends that are sane, ones that can keep their promises and will keep her safe.
Kagyaku's coming back to kill me anyway, so it's not like this will really change anything. I was going to fight him for you, I was going to live, survive, keep going, but not anymore.
I don't want to live with someone like you.
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Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 11:25 am
..:: Alive ::..
[The page is dotted with red droplet patterns, and teardrops mixed with something black.]
I shouldn't exist right now. In the few minutes that Rasiel was gone I managed to cut my arms open, and even my legs, and then I downed so many pills I... I don't know how many I took.
I was going to die. I should have died. Can't he see that it would be better that way? I wouldn't be around to hurt him, to break his heart... I wouldn't be around to get Sonnet in trouble, to break more promises. But he came back, and he saved me. He said that he only lives because I live, but... I don't want to live anymore.
It would be foolish of him to kill himself just because of me. I'm nothing after all. Kagyaku was right about that one, at least... I believe all of this, I really truly believe that I should be dead... That everyone else would benefit so much more if I were gone, but...
I selfishly cling to the hope that someone will always want me there. That someone will always come pick me up just before I manage to succeed in killing myself. Rasiel did that, and he says that he wants me forever... He'll never leave me, and even if he died he said he'd come back from hell... Just to see me.
[The page gains more teardrops]
I don't understand how he could want me that way but I'm happy. It hurts so much but I'm happy. I want to be able to think of myself like a normal person would, so that I can be worthy enough of receiving that love. But my mind is twisted, all of my barbs are turned inward on myself... I don't know if I can ever stop taking my frustrations out on myself like he wants me to... He says we should rely on each other instead of cutting and pills. But I want that pain... I need that pain.
It's not like it really hurts, anyway... It makes all the bad go away, because when that blade cuts through me all I feel is good. I can focus on that and lose myself in it and forget all of the bad things. I don't know if I can give it up so easily.
I should though, right? I should be able to give anything up for him. He showed me such devotion, such caring and all I can do is cling selfishly to the very thing he wants me to stop. I should be able to stop... because I love him, too. I... Even if he really, truthfully told me that he hates me I'd still love him. I'd still follow him around like a lost puppy, just hanging out to lend a hand when I can... If I can.
I'm not blind to my uselessness. I know that if something were to happen, I wouldn't be able to defend him like I should. and Sonnet...
I can't defend her, either. If anything I'm just shortening her life by being around so often. When she gets better... I'm going to apologize, for everything. For getting her caught up in this mess, for leaning on her with my every problem... For not being there when she needed me. And then, whether she forgives me or not... I'll leave. I'll at least distance myself from her so that she can be happy. It'll hurt, I can already feel some part of my heart breaking at the thought of it but she'll be better off with normal friends.
Friends that don't mutilate themselves when they can't voice their emotions. Friends that can stick up for themselves... friends that aren't twisted on the inside...
I say all of this but I know I can't do it. I'm not strong enough. I can't just leave someone I've become so attached to. I can't even leave Kagyaku! He's not here, but god... I depend on his words so much that I'm scared of myself. I don't want to be his slave forever, but I find myself replaying each taunt, each guiding word, each insult just to get some clarity in my head. That's bad, isn't it? I finally have control over myself but I've never felt so out of control in my life.
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 5:32 pm
..:: A Little Late, Aren't We? ::..
[Roleplay Format] Deskri lied in bed, buried in his fortress of pillows and blankets while he read a book. That was, until someone made a hole in his fortress, which meant that light assaulted his eyes all at once. "Put that pillow back!" He snapped without bothering to look up. "That's no way to talk to your mother." Asu peered through the hole, squinting to see him.
Deskri raised his head to give her a suspicious stare. "What do you want?" He placed a book mark in his book and then closed it, turned off the reading light and then sat up. That caused the top of his fortress to tumble apart, scattering pillows over his bed and onto the floor. "Just to talk, that's all." Asu smiled, perhaps a little too innocently, and sat down. Deskri scooted away from her a little, still staring at her suspiciously. "You never just "talk" to me." He folded his arms, frowning.
"How've you been? I haven't heard from you in a long time, and Hayden says he hasn't seen you since that incident at the lake." Asu ignored the accusation and leaned back on her hands, still smiling. "Fine, I've been fine." Deskri began to let up his guard a little, but Asu was known for switching moods on him so he kept it up at least a little.
"How's Sonnet? And Rasiel?" The smile turned into a grin, which made Deskri flinch. He could see this was not going to be the sort of "talk" people normally had with their parents. "Sonnet's fine, she's recovering still. And Rasiel is fine too, I think he's making lunch or something." Deskri shrugged.
"For both of you?" Asu quirked a brow.
"Maybe... what's it to you? You know I can't cook." Deskri's eyes narrowed.
Asu's grin turned into a smirk. "Deskri, you and Rasiel are together, right?"
Deskri froze up, mind frantically trying to predict where this was going. "Y-yes...?" He finally responded, inching away from her.
"Do you share a bed?" She looked from Deskri's bed -- which they were sitting on -- to Rasiel's curiously.
"Sometimes...?" Deskri's mind came to a sudden halt. "If you're going to talk to me about that you can just stop right now!" He got up on his knees, eyes turning a little red.
"Why should I stop? Unless you've already... Oh my, Deskri." Asu let out a series of giggles, shaking her head.
"ASU! Shut the ******** up! Don't just assume things! Maybe Insonorise talked to me about it!" Deskri's hair instantly flared into a bright red color.
"Sono? SONO talked to you about sex? Ohgod Deskri, think about your source." Asu giggled again, ignoring Deskri's flaring rage.
"You're no better! At least he's a guy and he's a gay one at that! You're a girl, what do you know?!" Deskri attempted to flee the bed, but was stopped when Asu reached and took hold of his arm.
"I'm not done talking, Deskri," she shook her head and sighed. "I wasn't going to talk to you about the mechanics, that'd be over the top." She giggled at the thought. "I just wanted to make sure that you're being careful with yourself. I know you don't feel pain as pain, and if you let that get to your head you could seriously hurt yourself you know." She frowned, suddenly becoming serious.
"I can tell the difference between when I'm actually feeling good and when I'm not. So you don't have to talk to me after all!" Deskri attempted to pull his arm away but failed, Asu had a surprisingly strong grip when she wanted.
"All right, and he's being nice, right? You're not just doing whatever he wants because you're hopelessly in love or something, right?" Asu grinned a little, knowing she was going to get assaulted with hisses and curses for saying that.
"Of course not! W-we have an understanding and for gods sake stop asking me about this stuff it's none of your business!" Deskri finally pulled his arm away and rubbed at it, feeling like it was going to bruise.
"Oh but it is, Deskri. Are you going to get married? What about kids?" Asu's grin grew to a genuine happy smile.
"M-married? We're still teenagers Asu, we can't get married." Deskri shook his head. "And I hate kids. You know that." He folded his arms unhappily.
"What if Rasiel wants them?"
".......I'll think about them." Deskri grumbled his response reluctantly.
"See, you're thinking of giving in to something that he may want, just because he wants it. Think about that, 'kay?" Asu stood up and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Try not to keep your roommates up with your noise." She giggled and then walked out of the dorm, leaving Deskri on his bed, staring dumbfounded after her.
Did she really just say that?
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Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:35 pm
..:: Thoughts ::..
Asu's visit had me thinking... I do give into other people's wants and desires a lot of the time.. but mostly just so there isn't any friction going on and it's only really if they're insistent... Would I go so far as to agree to having kids when I really, really don't want them?
....I'm not sure if I want to answer that question.
I wouldn't want to make him angry, or make him miserable if he happened to really want kids but... Something tells me that Rasiel doesn't want kids either. Or at least, wouldn't mind not having them. I don't want them at all. Kids are annoying, they whine all the time, they're needy and super dependent.
I think I just described myself... Yet another reason to not want kids, I AM a kid. I can't be expected to take care of one of my own... ugh...Besides, what if I can't give up my cutting habit? I'll scar the thing for life! What if I cut too deeply and pass out and the kid finds me? Yeah, that'll end well.
So kids are a serious no. End of story.
Marriage isn't out of the question though... I like the idea of being bound together forever. Maybe I'll ask him about it, see what he thinks... I hope he agrees.
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Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 1:07 am
..:: A Phone Call ::..
[Roleplay Format]
Once he had recovered from the shock of Asu barging into the dorm to give him The Talk, Deskri reached for his cellphone and dialed Sonnet's number. One, he hadn't talked to her in awhile, and two, he needed something to get the idea of children and marriage out of his head. They weren't old enough for that...
"Hello? Sonnet?"
A familiar ring sounded from her cell phone. Sonnet scurried over to where her phone was and picked it up, pressing the button that allowed her to talk to whoever it was on the other line.
"Hello?" she inquired, but knew who it was as soon as he said her name.
"Oh, hi Deskri!" she chimed, glad to hear from him again. She hadn't talked to him since she was in the nurses' office. "What's up?"
"Nothin' really... Asu stormed in, left a few minutes ago after disturbing me... How're you? Are you still hurting?" Deskri rolled onto his back once more, immediately feeling at ease again. Sonnet always had that sort of effect on him.
Sonnet laughed a bit. "Naw, I'm pretty much all healed up. Just a scar here and there," she said as she moved over to the bed to sit down on it. She laid on her stomache, her feet kicking back and forth as she listened.
"Oh? Why'd she storm in?" she asked. "Something the matter with Hayden or something?"
"That's good. I think there's like, some cream for that if you wanted to get rid of the scars..." He found himself shrugging even though Sonnet wasn't there to see him. Or anyone, for that matter. "Uh... not really. She didn't even mention Hayden. She wanted to give me The Talk, but y'know... I'd think she'd realize that she's a little late for that...... I'm old enough to already know..."
"I'll have to look into that..." Sonnet commented before hushing again to listen to Deskri talk about what Asu had to say.
"Really now? She didn't think of giving you that talk years ago?" she said, laughing a bit. "I mean, there was that whole time when the school was closed that she could have talked about it with you...yeesh. Your mam can be such a scatterbrain at times..." she said with a slight chuckle.
"I know... She's ridiculous... came in and assumed things right off the bat just 'cause I said Rasiel was prolly makin' lunch." Deskri rolled his eyes with a bit of a laugh. "Has your mom... tortured you with that talk?"
Sonnet shrugged out of habit. "Not tortured no. About a year ago she sat me down and we had a rather civil conversation about the whole situation, she asked me my thoughts about it, you know, that sort of thing," she rambled on. Mizu wasn't as prodding as Asu was, and she was rather grateful towards that quality of her adoptive mother.
"Then again I'm not dating anyone like someone I know," she said with a chuckle.
"Ugh, no fair... Your mom should take custody, and then I wouldn't have to deal with Asu anymore." Deskri groaned, he'd always sort of envied how lucky Sonnet had gotten with Mizu... Her mom wasn't freaking insane, after all. "J-just 'cause we're dating doesn't mean we're... y'know...." That was a lie. A total lie.
"I don't think Asu'd be very happy with that. She does care about you...just in an odd way..." Sonnet said with a nod. She then laughed a little bit at Deskri's stammering, avoiding the topic.
"I know Deskri, but she doesn't. She's just being a protective mother in her odd sort of way is all."
"Threatening sort of way. She'll prolly get in your business too, y'know, when you start dating someone... I'll try not to tell her so you'll be spared the embarrassment, 'cause she keeps saying you're like a half-child."
"Really? Mizu says the same about you. Maybe you should spend a night or two with me here at Mizu's house. It'd give you a hiding place from Asu anyway..." she then paused a moment.
"Or perhaps not. Mom has a few new meta kids. Kyle is especially active."
"You have little siblings too?" Deskri half grinned, he figured Sonnet would a better big sibling than he'd ever be. "What're they like, aside from being especially active?"
"Kyle's the active one. Cedric is well...odd. It's like his brain and his body aren't fully connected. He's super smart, but can't seem to get that across when he talks. Usually he and Kyle aren't the best of friends. He almost hurt her, or so Mom says. They've been better behaved when I'm around though..."
"I think that's because you're naturally calming." Deskri replied almost instantly. "Huh, that's odd... I guess it'd be frustrating... Maybe he just lost his temper? He's still a toddler... Awhile back I heard that Hayden was wrecking the house... but he was doing it on purpose.."
"Really? He seemed rather behaved at the tea party....I think...I really don't remember that day very well," she said with a sigh before chuckling.
"Why thank you Deskri," she said, blushing slightly at the compliment.
"Asu said he goes through phases of destroying everything and being a perfect little kid... I don't think I want to hang out with him anytime soon, though..." He smiled, "only sayin' what's true."
Sonnet didn't respond for a bit, and soft voices from far away were heard on the line.
"Hey Deskri, I gotta go help with dinner, so I gotta go. Want me to call you later afterwards?"
"Oh, all right. Sure, if you want to. I doubt I'll be doing anything. Have a good dinner." He smiled a bit and then waited for Sonnet to hang up before he closed his phone.
"Later," Sonnet said with a chirp before hanging up and skuttling off to do what she needed to do.
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 7:51 am
..:: Mother's Day ::.. Deskri hadn't really put much thought into Mother's Day, since most of the time he swore up and down that he hated his mother, and that she was entirely insane and probably didn't care too much about him, either. But that was how he was with just about everything else, which meant that deep down inside, he really did care about Asu and knew that she was exhibiting her own backwards way of caring for him whenever she sent embarrassing presents to their dorm.
The last one had admittedly been over the top, though, but it contained a letter reminding him of Mother's Day, which Deskri had originally thought was rather... attention seeking of her at first. That was, until he woke up on Mother's Day, having completely forgotten that it was Mother's Day.
Thankfully Asu was easily pleased, so he parted ways with Rasiel for awhile, got some chocolate for Asu and made the way over to her house with a sense of dread. Hayden was there, which meant trouble if they were left alone...
He knocked on the door, shifting from one foot to another. The door opened to reveal Hayden, who adopted a sour look. "Relax I'm not here to stay." Deskri rolled his eyes and pushed the door open a little more. "Where's Asu?" He looked around the house warily, as if he expected her to pop out of nowhere.
"Mom's in the shower." Hayden replied as he returned to his spot on the couch. "Great..." Deskri sighed and sat down at the kitchen table rather that on the couch with Hayden. Ever since the babysitting incident, he was admittedly a little nervous around Hayden.
"Haydieeee, my show's coming on, turn the channel please!" Asu had apparently gotten out of the shower during their moments of awkward silence and was coming down the hallway. Hayden grimaced at the nickname, but didn't say anything and just changed the channel as he was told. "Oh, Deskri! I didn't know you were here." Asu emerged from the hallway and spotted him immediately.
"Yeah... here... I'm not gonna stay or anything..." Deskri slid the chocolate across the table, feeling a little awkward. "Thank you, and why not?" Asu grinned and moved closer so that she could hug him, but she stopped when she felt him tense up. "Wouldn't want to interrupt you and demon child's wonderful day. Let me go." Deskri pulled himself a way a little, last time Asu had hugged him she'd accidentally hit one of his scars and he hadn't forgotten.
"Oh c'mon, sit down 'n watch this with us? Just one episode." Asu took one of his hands and started to drag him over to the couch. "No, no, I'm seriously not staying." Deskri pulled back, feeling his heart rate increase. He was easily conditioned into associating objects with treatment, and that couch had recently been associated with aching ears, headaches and cruel words from Hayden.
"Relax Deskri, Hayden apologized and he got in a lot of trouble. He won't do anything." Asu frowned, lowering her voice so that Hayden couldn't hear her. It didn't work though, Hayden turned his head and cast a glare to Deskri since Asu's back was facing him. "I don't care, he talks like him and I-I can't be near that, and ******** he's glaring at me right now! I'm not staying here so long as he's here. Have a good Mother's Day." Deskri pulled his hand away and turned to leave, completely missing the grin of triumph on Hayden's face and the look of mild sadness on Asu's.
She'd wanted to spend the day with both of her kids.
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:13 pm
..:: Uh, what? ::.. So I've decided that Rasiel's mother sucks. She's not only terrifying in person, but she's apparently intolerant of gays and can't label her potions. I came home to find Rasiel all bundled up in a blanket, claiming he wasn't feeling very good, as if that would keep me away.
No. No it didn't. Of course it didn't, I was worried!
Apparently he'd gone to his mother for medication 'cause Delilah had gotten him sick, but she gave him a Switch-a-Roo potion instead of the actual medicine, so when I pulled the blankets away...
I saw breasts.
Yeah, breasts. At first I was like, "what the ********, Rasiel doesn't have breasts." and then I was like, "how the hell did he GET breasts?!"
He even acted like a girl, too! He started crying and going on about how he was going to eat a tub of ice cream and get fat. He also figured I was going to hate him for being female and honestly...
For a split second, I thought so too.
But I didn't, I mean, that thought didn't even have time to finish itself before it got brutally murdered... I mean, if that thought were real, it would've been the rabbit that gets tackled and eaten by the hawk. Yeahhh...
Anyway um...
He thought it'd be a good idea to uh... use the opportunity to have some anatomy lessons? At first I thought he was insane, I mean... I was pretty damn sure I was like, really gay. Not like, bi or bi curious or whatever else people come up with to excuse liking men, no like SERIOUSLY gay.
Yet another thing I've been wrong about... 'cause we were able to do it......... I seriously thought I was going to lose it, but I didn't. He's pretty arousing, even as a girl. But ********, he had HUGE breasts. I don't even know how he wasn't distracted by them. I was distracted by them.
But then this friend of his shows up. Oron. I've never heard of him before, but Rasiel seemed kind of... I dunno, not happy that he was there. I don't like him at all. He was staring at Rasiel all weird like and somehow knew about Sonnet, which isn't cool.
Definitely not on my okay list.
But, I guess I learned things...
I'm going to love Rasiel no matter what he is, and I can, if needed, do a girl... uhm... breasts are really distracting.
Like seriously.
I don't even know how girls manage.
I'm going to have to burn this entry later so no one reads it...
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 12:52 am
..:: It's about time, isn't it? ::..
Deskri groaned aloud when he realized that he really was awake, whether he wanted to be or not. He sat up, yawning. Rasiel still hadn't come back, which was unsettling, but surprisingly he'd gotten used to the void that took his place. He hadn't given up on their relationship, no, he was going to wait for the other Meta to return, he'd just settled into a sense of normalcy with being alone all the time.
He headed into the bathroom, which was when he noticed the change. "What... the ********?" He stared at himself in the mirror, eyes narrowed. Had his lips turned purple overnight? He felt his skin, which seemed warmer than usual, so he wasn't freezing or anything. It was then that the realized... he must have grown overnight. He abandoned the bathroom in favor of finding something to measure himself with. Maybe he'd gained an inch or two? Maybe he wouldn't have to look up every time he wanted to say something to Rasiel, or even Sonnet!
His excitement died down when he finally managed to mark the wall and then measure the height. He was still exactly five feet tall. "******** hell, seriously?! I can't even have one goddamn inch!?" He groaned and headed back to the bathroom to continue his normal morning routine, but more pissed than usual despite his new growth. It was about damn time anyway, he'd spent four years as a teen and it was his birthday for god's sake.
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 12:56 am
..:: Well... ::..
Looks like I've transcended to the next stage, FINALLY.
Not that it really makes a difference. I swear the only things I'm missing is a pair of boobs and a you-know-what and I'll be female. My LIPS are purple. NATURALLY. What the hell... Rasiel, whenever the b*****d comes back, is going to think I took one of those switch-a-roo potions or something.
At least I didn't have to spend another freaking year as a teenager. I was getting a little fed up with the raging emotions. Maybe now I can actually make an attempt at maturity. Like that'll happen...
I seem to have gained more control over my powers though... stuff is a lot easier than it used to be. And earlier I accidentally triggered one that seems to be new... I like, got attached to the wall and couldn't get off of it for a good five minutes. I'm gonna have to practice this new stuff. Maybe I'm not so useless now? We'll have to see.
I wonder if Sonnet grew... she IS a day older than me.
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Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2010 2:08 pm
..:: I Miss You So...::..
Where'd you go? You've left me again and it aches, it aches so bad I can't breathe in the morning when I wake up. I pray just to go back to sleep, just to make it stop... why did you leave me again?
I thought... I thought I'd been good...
[the page gains tear splatters]
I thought I'd been good enough to keep you around... where did I go wrong? Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Or didn't do?
I... I'm not smart like other people, you need to tell me when I ******** up... when I say something wrong...
I promise I'll be good, just please.. please come back home. Please...
I can't keep pretending that everything's fine... I can't keep resisting the need to get that knife out of my dresser, the temptation of having nothing to worry about but not losing too much blood is getting harder and harder to resist.
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