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 Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 9:16 am
Oh good question, I would say yes - since her attacks feed of the pollution around her I think the environment in which the attack is taking place will also effect this. So a small village with a small population out in the country will greatly diminish her powers, were in the middle of a huge city will increase said powers with the added joys of car fumes, garbage etc etc.
So although she will do well in Destiny City, if you take her out of the area into an open field (far from (major) pollution) she will be a lot weaker.
Thank you for the question! x
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Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:39 am
[ another art update <3 ]
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Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 1:21 pm
Oops. That blah blah was a marker for me I never took out, sorry! >.<;
In Confidence/ Outgoing, under the phrase "She's not a push over mind, she just has the confidence to do it...", do you mean "She's not a push over mind you"?
Also, same category, "something that would embarrass another would bounce of her", do you mean "off"?
I love her Optimism and especially how you described it! The part about her Dad made me tear up a little, plus her Mom sounds awesome!
I have one question (and it's dumb.) What's "tosh"?? XD
All in all, I really love the sound of her! She matches her sphere perfectly and has a fully fleshed out personality.
There is only one thing I think can be improved upon!
You've mentioned very early on that she isn't "girly". It seems like she's not girly in the least bit, but Rockabilly is very girly! They've got skirts and heels and lots of makeup and pretty hair. Maybe try redefining her "girliness". She may not be like her sister, but she's girly in her own way.
Besides all that, I really like her. She sounds interesting and very real. Can't wait to see her! biggrin
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:56 am
Eeei Aye you sweetie you critted me!! Thank you <333
You are right with all those things, i have a terrible case of typing too fast for my own good and missing out words, but in my mind they are there @_@ I will change that asap!!!
"Tosh" is a British slang word for rubbish, you know like when you might say, "that's a load of rubbish", we would say, "that's a load of tosh" Xd;;
And i couldn't agree more with the girlyness issue, when i first started Venice out she wasn't that into rockabilly when i created her, she was more punky/goth, but as i developed her I wanted my own love of that scene to shine through, and the whole roller derby hobby just sealed the deal. I will have to update the girly part as although, like you said, she is not girly in the same way as her sister, she still loves to get dressed up and show of her best assets <333
Thank you again, I shall run over to your quest and crit!!!
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Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:09 am
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 1:20 pm
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:29 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:40 am
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 3:42 am
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 7:52 am
Just a tiny thing, but if you want to get a stamp for her, you should post her here ! smile She looks very interesting to me and I don't have much to say, so good luck !
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 8:04 am
Thank you very much!!! *runs off to do just that!*
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Posted: Thu May 12, 2011 1:07 pm
ON THE CIVILIAN:
Looks good!
ON THE SENSHI:
We have Sailor Cyllene, Senshi of Acid, and her eternal attack is acid rain. So you will have to redesign the final stage, I'm afraid! In general, I view your attack as a pollution-centered version of Sailor Polaris, Senshi of Magnetism. Her skill is to pull metal objects in the area at people, but it is dependent on how much metal is around. So I am totally fine with Ate's attack being dependent on how much pollution is around.
Perhaps for her eternal attack she is just able to summon all the pollution in a larger area? Maybe she can pull trash from a one block radius and then rain it down on a fifteen foot area of a battlefield. You just need to be really clear about the attack's area of effect if you do this. Ask yourself: what casting action does she do to determine where the pollution falls? How could someone stop her from casting this? Think about these things and add them in when you go to revise! Someone should be able to read your quest and know immediately how their character could avoid the attack if they had to.
Also, small note: try to define how close Ate has to be to throw her junk ball without it breaking apart. Are we talking less than five feet at regular? Maybe ten at super? Add that in.
Otherwise, it looks great!
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 11:01 am
Thank you so much for critting me!!!
Civilian: EEEEEEEIIIIII I AM HAPPY FACE <3
Senshi: Thank you for all the advise, i will revise and edit asap!!! Thank you so much! ]
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Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 3:00 am
[ Her eternal attack is now edited!!! Hopefully it is ok!!!! *0* ]
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