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 Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:52 pm
It was only when the moose had successfully stampeded upon, gored, and ripped the bush into little pieces that it realized it had been fooled. Unleashing another bellow of rage, it whirled and spotted their fleeing forms.
The moose gave chase, head lowered with all intend to gain some new colorful adornments for when mating season came around. Bow-chicka-wow-wow~~~
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:00 pm
OH s**t! SHITSHITSHIT!!
"RUN!"
Whatever thoughts of stealth Lucifer had left were long gone, it was too late now. His grip tightened on Noel's wrist, all but flinging the little fanboy in front of him, putting himself between Noel and the moose. Wait...was he protecting him?
No time to think about it, Lucifer's eyes scanned the forest, searching for an escape. There, that tree, it looked climbable and strong enough.
"NOEL! Up that tree!"
Oh ********, HURRY!
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:08 pm
Noel just felt his mouth fall open. The tree did look climbable but at the same token, Noel was to shaky to climb smoothly. Sure Noel knew how to climb trees, some what, but it wasn't an activity he did every day. Some times he'd get drunk and just wake up in a tree but ... a tale for a nother time.
s**t right now the two were dead if they didn't get up there quick.
Noel grabbed a low branch and kicked his legs up wrapping his legs around it and turning over so he was up on it. Still, the branch was low and even Lucifer could pluck him out of there if he wanted. Noel reached for the next nearest branch... and it snapped and fell to the forest ground. s**t.
What to do what to do. The next branch Noel was to short to reach even if he stood up. ********.
That moose was going to kill him and Noel couldn't even think to start crying again. His heart was thundering in his head....
And then he noticed the foot nooks in the tree's trunk. Just like a rock wall only not as well thought out and scattered. He didn't want to think WHAT lurked in those holes...
Ah well, he stuck his foot in one and his hand in another. Almost instantly he was greeted by a crunching sound that sent shivers down his spine. Something crawled on his hand.. Noel cried but continued up.
Crunch crunch crunch crunch. Crawl crawl crawl, slimey slimey slimey.
Oh dear god.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:17 pm
The moose was on their tails now -- bellowing and stomping with enough force to cause the ground to shake. Luckily for them, the bulk of the moose was hampered by the grasping roots and branches. Attempts to simply smash through tree limbs and brushes only slowed the moose down, causing it to stumble and force its way through. Other times, the trees were too close together to allow its large antlers through, forcing it to go around.
One thing was for certain, though: it was coming.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:25 pm
"Hurry up, Noel!"
Lucifer was at the tree, scurrying up the branches as quickly as he could without running over the little fanboy. Unlike Noel, Lucifer had no issues with whatever bugs dwelt in the tree, he was more concerned with the BIG ******** MOOSE THAT WAS ABOUT TO GORE THEM ON IT'S ANTLERS!!
He was pushing Noel ahead of him, forcing him to climb faster. That branch there, it was high enough to be out of reach.
Hah! Stupid moose, let's see it get them now!
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:31 pm
Noel sat on the branch, but not feeling the love of seemingly being safe? No he was rubbing his hands all over the tree branch to get rid of the smashed bug guts all over his hands.
Gross gross gross gross gross.
He could feel things climbing up and down his shirt. What was with the bugs in these trees.
If it weren't for the blood thirsty demon deer trying to make them into pulp, Noel would have probably taken his clothing off.
Ah hell... They were probably gonna die anyways. Demon deer were blood thirsty creatures. Noel went for the jacket and pulled over his head tossing it at the ground..... Revealing a family of spiders that had hitched a ride up the tree with him.
"AAAAAAHHH!!!!" Noel screamed fidgeting trying to get the creepy crawlies off of him.
... It looked more like a mindless flail... and crying. Lots of crying.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:19 pm
The moose bellowed in fury as its prey scampered up the tree, faster than the little squirrels that would chipper and chatter before fleeing before its wrath. It put on an extra burst of speed and rammed the tree in its rage.
It was so angry, in fact, that it didn't realize that it got itself stuck in said tree until it tried to pull back and ram it again. Now stuck in an awkward position, the moose bellowed yet again while trying to backpeddle out of there.
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:47 am
"Noel, stop being--"
OH s**t BRACE FOR IMPACT!!
Lucifer clung to the branch as the tree shook under the impact. s**t, if either of them fell it would be all over.
Enough of this s**t, Lucifer wasn't going to let some stupid moose intimidate him anymore. Paws firmly holding the tree branch (hey, he wasn't -stupid-, no way he was going down there) Lucifer growled at the beast.
"Back off before I set your a** on fire!"
Oh but wait, it was stuck?! AHAHAHAHAHA! Stupid moose, take that! Let's see how you like it when the situation is turned around, kekekeke.
Of course the smart thing probably would have been to get the hell out of there while the moose was trapped, but Lucifer just couldn't pass up the opportunity to use some of those cherry bombs he carried in his pocket.
Flick, bomb's away!
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:11 pm
The impact from the mooses charge had caused Noel to wabble back and forth and back and forth until finally he fell back wards.
If it wasn't for a belt loop that snagged a smaller branch attached to the branch the two were sitting on, Noel would have fallen. Now the hopeless Brit dangled like a pinata . Crap.
Thank god these pants were strongly fibered.
Crack... crack...
Noels eyes widened, the tiny branch was holding him but JUST barely. s**t.
So the boy did what any sane person hovering over a deadly moose that had just been stuck in a tree and had a taste of cherry bombs. The Brit flailed!
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 9:21 pm
As the cherry bombs landed and exploded, the moose gave another bellow -- but instead of rage, this time it was of fear. The moose bucked and kicked, pummeling the tree and making it shake as it strove to back off and get away. Since it was stuck, it... honestly didn't get very far. Lucifer was sure to have the Audio for the Rights of Moose And Dangerous Igneous Loony Loones Organization after him once this gets aired.
But.. really, if that was all that happened, this would be a really lame segment of Total Drama Audio. It'd be so lame, it'd never get aired! Good thing it was about to get more interesting, huh?
The two campers could hear a chittering sound above them. If they were to look up, they could see an entire family or irate... raccoons? Oh s**t, don't those things have rabies and stuff? They were starting to hiss and slink down the tree...
...Yeah, leaving would be a very good idea right about now.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 9:36 pm
"AHAHAHAHA! Yeah, that's what I thought!"
Stupid moose, serves you right! Next time maybe you'll think twice before you--oh s**t, now what. Oh come on! Racoons? WHAT THE ******** MAN! Stupid moose probably drove them out, shaking the tree like an idiot.
"Don't mess with me, fuzzballs!"
A growl, Lucifer snatched Noel by the belt before he fell.
"Noel, Let's go!"
He wasn't about to be afraid of stupid little fuzzballs, but he didn't want to be cornered on the tree branch either. God, Noel was in bad shape, if anything he needed to get the little fanboy out of there.
Time to climb out of the tree, fanboy in tow. Oh, but he'd leave a few gifts behind for the racoons, kekeke, let's see how they chewing on cherry bombs.
s**t...he was running out of amo.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 9:50 pm
Noel dangled helplessly from Lucifers arms. What an action hero this one was. Noel's eyes grew bigger as they climbed out of the tree. AMAZING.
Though the coons behind them... Some how Noel had an unsettled feeling about them ... and the moose.
But he was in Lucifers arms. SQUEE! All Noel could manage to do was smile.
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:23 pm
The raccoons swarmed down the tree after the two, pausing at the cherry bombs. They picked them up, and... well, sucks to be you two -- they threw them down right back! So much for leaving them little "gifts."
The Wawanakwa Racoon was seemingly harmless by itself, but it operated much like any criminal organization: you hit one of their members, they'll be sure to pay you back. The raccoons didn't leave their tree, but were prepared in case more explosives were thrown their way.
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:00 pm
What the ********?! Lucifer growled, glaring up at that raccoons, barely managing to avoid stepping on the exploding cherry bombs.
"Stupid furballs!!"
Oh the pyromaniac was furious. He'd been dragged into the woods (okay so he wasn't angry at that part, how could he be angry at Noel?), chased by a ******** moose, run up a tree, Noel looked like hell, and NOW there were ******** raccoons throwing his own bombs back at him!
Lucifer searched his pockets with his free paw, s**t, he was almost out of cherry bombs, he'd need to get more of those. Oh, but he did have a little bag of black powder, kekekeke. s**t, but did he have time, he'd have to be fast, he needed to get Noel out of there, like NOW!
s**t, what the hell was he thinking, he had a ******** SHARK! (And said shark was always a short distance away, heh heh heh)
"LAZ3R!"
Yeah, that's right furballs, you play with the shark while I set your ******** tree on fire. HAH! TAKE THAT!
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:34 pm
Noel was still pretty much oblivious . He was in Lucifers arms after all. What more could he - Oh ******** the racoons were retaliating. THEY WERE GOING TO DIE!
Or not, Lucifer what a guy. Sniff.
Noels attention span went back to Lucifer until he called his pet shark. Oh right, there were still coons.. . ..
All Noel could do now as just dangle like a helpless lump on a log. Partly because he was more interested in being in Lucifers arms and partly because he was planning the wedding in his head.
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