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 Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:40 pm
Try just expanding on what you started here. From what you said he apparently doesn't die then.
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Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:37 pm
skaiano I think I'll come back with this little selection when the characters a bit more developed. Cos right now I look back and see a mindless soulless robot. rofl But then again, this is just an exercise... Are you planning to soon, or did you descide against it?
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Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:14 pm
Metalic_Noodles skaiano I think I'll come back with this little selection when the characters a bit more developed. Cos right now I look back and see a mindless soulless robot. rofl But then again, this is just an exercise... Are you planning to soon, or did you descide against it?
Here is the expansion I made about 7 months ago: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=15256697
Uh... are you doing this for the contest? >: D
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Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:52 pm
Reviving exercises isn't part of the contest, I just saw some interesting ones while I was I looking for the RPs I'm in.
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 6:10 pm
((Using my Bleach Charachter for this, seemingly a good desicion, Criticizm is welcome))
Cimmera stumbled up the path to the top of Sokyoku Hill. She had somehow lost her zanpaku-to. A terrible fate for a Soul Reaper of her ranks. She was fourth seat of the tenth squad. Her sweaty palms grabbed at the pantlegs of her hakama, it wasn't the first time she lost the zanpaku-to. She lost it often, usually finding it in the squad ten living quarters. This time though, she searched everywhere and was unable to find it. She now had to run all over the Seretei to find it.
Pulling her bright red hair over her shoulder, she reached the top of the hill, the broken Sokyoku in front of her. It had been years ago when that happened. A substitute soul reaper broke in to save the life of a criminal, convicted because of her giving him her soul reaper powers. The seretei had not gone about fixing it yet. It appeared as if they were not planning on fixing it either.
Disreguarding the Sokyoku for the moment, she searched amongst the rocks. A glint of silver caught her eye. Was it her lost zanpaku-to? Cimmera reached for it. It was stuck rather tightly in the rocks, but she managed to wrench it from the pile, to hold it in her hand. It didn't feel right though. It felt as if it was not her soul slayer. It looked as if it could have been, but most of the blades looked alike, only the captains, and vice-captains had ones that stood out. Only one way to find out if it were really hers.
Holding the blade out in front of her she called, "Rise from the shadows, Baineko"
Waiting a few moments, she realized something was wrong. The zanpaku-to was not responding to her calls. It wasn't her blade. She turned, the ownerless blade in her hand. It had to be given to the captain, to be returned to the rightful owner. She began the descent down the path she had come from.
As she reached the bottom of the hill, a sound of chaos met her ears. There were shouts from all around the soul society, calling for their zanpaku-to. It had appeared that most of the soul reapers were missing their soul slayers. She ran to the squad ten captain's office, to find what the matter was, and to show him the found zanpaku-to.
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:45 pm
((I know this is really late, but since you deserve a reply anyway...
Protector- I liked your post. It wasn't very detailed or specific, and required the reader to have read Bleach to be able to get any imagery from it. What I liked is that you truly made this part of a larger story, as opposed to tossing your character into a situation without any though as to what might occur afterward. I think you can expand on this, offering more details of hand movements, facial expressions and description of the area around the character and interactions with her surroundings.)))
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:08 am
((I just totally de-sueified my fan character, all the tests I take now say she needs a bit of spicing up, she used to be like super pretty and best at everything and everyone hated her, but now, she's rather timid unless she's super pissed off, has a fear of knives, blood and loud noises (she a les mis fan char, doesn't deal with the barricade gunfire and very well) but she stilll sings real good, any help spicing her up?))
The gunfire around her suddenly stopped, the world melted away to somewhere new, fast as the light faded when you blow out a candle, patricia found herself on a long road "am I dead?" she looked down the road, she saw something sparkle, she squinted to try and get a better look at it, it was too far away, she limped towards it, with every step the pain from her injuries ebbed, the scratches and bruises on her legs disappeared, her crippled arm felt strong again and the blood flooding into her eyes from a gunshot in her head (she touched it "mon dieu! I suppose I am dead") it all melted away, she came up to the object, a sword! Patricia looked down at it so sharp! she picked it up it can't hurt me if I'm holding it Patricia was overwhelmed by how magnificent it was, the handle was smooth, a magestic Crimson red cut stone, a strong thick hand guard, it looked as though it was made of amber (it probabbly was), the blade was long and sharp, it shone like starlight, with a long, winding, thorn covered rose engraved in it, the flowerhead at the tip, the thorns were made of a hard pristine white stone and the rose of ruby, everything was in excruciating detail.
((critique?
mon dieu! means My god! or dear me!))
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:06 pm
Tests are arbitrary and can't take the full character and setting into consideration. Also, most are intended for the main character of a book.
I think that is an interesting character, but I would have to see an RP she's in to give you much feedback on whether or not she is boring, awesome or sue-ish.
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