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 Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:04 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 6:03 pm
bloody_dragon_claws shadowy visitor bloody_dragon_claws Okay, maybe someone can help me out with this one. My dad's been telling it for years and I have no idea what it means. Q:What do you call a Scottsma with a lamb under each arm? A: A Playboy. Me: ?????????????? Sorry I have no clue (You should tell him it's not even funny) I was contemplating that but then he'd probably try to explain it to me. I don't need that, thankyou! i THINK i get it... but its really nasty if i did>< my dad told me a dirty joke about sheep and other farm animals and how the dude who owned them said that the sheep lie.... im not gonna finish it....
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 6:02 pm
kay i got one...
*MAY BE OFFENSIVE*
a woman is having an affair when her husband comes home early one day so she shoves her lover into the closet.
Thats when her lover hears from beside him "its dark in here"
"yeah" he replies to the little boy's voice.
"hey if you buy my baseball i won't tell." the little boy's voice says.
"how much?" he asks
"$500." the boy replies.
"dam*." says the lover and he pays the kid.
the next day the woman's husband comes home early again so she shoves her lover into the closet once more.
Thats when her lover hears from beside him "its dark in here"
"yeah" he replies to the little boy's voice.
"hey if you buy my glove i won't tell." the little boy's voice says.
"how much?" he asks
"$1000." the boy replies.
"dam*." says the lover and he pays the kid.
later that day the father(husband) asks if the boy wants to play catch and the boy said he sold the glove and ball for $1500 his father takes him to confess at the church.
so the boy enters the booth and sits down.
"hello." says the priest.
"boy, its dark in here." says the little boy
"Oh no don't start that Sh*t again!" yells the priest.
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 8:53 pm
Aerii666 kay i got one... *MAY BE OFFENSIVE* a woman is having an affair when her husband comes home early one day so she shoves her lover into the closet. Thats when her lover hears from beside him "its dark in here" "yeah" he replies to the little boy's voice. "hey if you buy my baseball i won't tell." the little boy's voice says. "how much?" he asks "$500." the boy replies. "dam*." says the lover and he pays the kid. the next day the woman's husband comes home early again so she shoves her lover into the closet once more. Thats when her lover hears from beside him "its dark in here" "yeah" he replies to the little boy's voice. "hey if you buy my glove i won't tell." the little boy's voice says. "how much?" he asks "$1000." the boy replies. "dam*." says the lover and he pays the kid. later that day the father(husband) asks if the boy wants to play catch and the boy said he sold the glove and ball for $1500 his father takes him to confess at the church. so the boy enters the booth and sits down. "hello." says the priest. "boy, its dark in here." says the little boy "Oh no don't start that Sh*t again!" yells the priest. ~lol that was great~ xd
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:24 am
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:35 am
i like jokes but some jokes are just really stupid..... whee
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 2:28 pm
*May be offensive*
One day a blonde is driving down a dirt road in the country after she's dyed her hair brown. She stops when she sees a flock of sheep and then calls the sheperd over.
"if i can guess how many sheep are in your flock can i keep one?" the blonde asks.
The shepard agrees thinking that there is no way the lady in the car can guess how many sheep he has
"two hundred nineteen." says the blonde.
the shepard in shock says "you're right."
so the blonde gets out of the car and picks up a sheep and puts it in the back of her car. before she leaves though the shepard stops her.
"hey lady, if i can guess the real color of your hair can i have my dog back?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 2:40 pm
*May be offensive*
- takes place long ago ^-^ -
One day two blonde guys walk into a bar and on the wall is a sign saying that the owner of the bar will pay 2000 dollars for the scalp of each indian brought in. So the two men go out into the desert on their horses with nothing more than a knife and see an indian. They begin chasing the indian and are able to run him into a ravine where he becomes unconscious. When they are about to scalp him they hear the sound of hoofbeat.
one of the blonde guys looks up at the top of the ravine and says, "hey hal look up there at the top of the ravine."
the other guy looks up and there before him are hundreds of indians with their bows and arrows trained on the two blondes.
"RICK WE'RE GONNA BE RICH!!" he shouts.
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 4:03 pm
These are kind of stupid, but I like them, so what the heck....
A blonde walks into a bar. Ouch.
Two blondes walk into a bar. You think one of them would have noticed.
A blonde walks into a bar with a rope tied around her waist. The bartender says, "Excuse me ma'am, but why is that rope tied around your waist." She sits down and says, "Well, I'm trying to commit suicide." The bartender replies, "In that case, shouldn't the rope be around your neck?" She quickly replies, "DUH NO!! I COULDN'T BREATHE!!"
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 4:28 pm
baby_bluegirl00 A blonde walks into a bar with a rope tied around her waist. The bartender says, "Excuse me ma'am, but why is that rope tied around your waist." She sits down and says, "Well, I'm trying to commit suicide." The bartender replies, "In that case, shouldn't the rope be around your neck?" She quickly replies, "DUH NO!! I COULDN'T BREATHE!!" hahaha *can't stop laughing* ha ha *turning blue*.. ha ha *wipes tears from eyes* good one pfftt ha ha... ha
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 9:02 am
*pushes post into the light*
wakapop
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:18 am
warning blonde joke
one day a blonde women walked into a electronic store and asked the clerk "how much is this tv"?clerk:sorry i don't sell to blondes
so the lady went homee and changed he hair black lady:how much is this tv?
clerk:i don't sell to blodes ma'am
so the lady went home and changed he hair pink and went back
lady:how much is this tv
clerk:sorry ma'am i don't sell to blondes
so she went home and changed her hair red and went back to the store
lady:how much is this tv?
clerk stop asking me i will not sell to a blonde mad
lady:i keep changing my hair but how do you know its me ?
clerk:because thats no tv its a microwave
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:37 am
Botan neko ***Warning!! Maybe be offensive to some people!!***A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password.. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in: P... E... N... I... S... His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: ***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*** Rofl! rofl thats so sweet!
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