|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:15 pm
Shaking his head, Axel really had no idea what he was talking about. "Um, sorry. Yeah, I really have no idea what's going on." He looked back down to the ground feeling rather embarrassed for himself and hoped that she wasn't judging him too much. Because he was pretty sure that she would think he was very strange after this.
"Because." Axel paused and tried to gather up his thoughts, "I really am confused right now about my feelings and such. I have to assure myself of some things and make sure that my emotions don't get out of hand. My past... isn't so pretty." He watched her get closer to him. He wanted to close his eyes so that he could think this out but he couldn't keep his eyes off of the mare. "Basically, I've got problems and you don't want to associate with me." The stallion sighed and felt bad that she had to talk to him when he was this way.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:30 pm
"That makes two of us." She said having no idea what was going on either. She had wandered in here on a hunt and had found something much more interesting then her prey. As she watched him she wondered vaguely if this was how she looked to the world during one of her episodes.
At his last sentence she frowned looking rather pissed again. "I will associate with whomever I chose." She said her voice surprisingly soft compared to the look on her face. "And you do not dare tell me other wise." She stretched her neck again and seized another spike tugging on it much in the same way as before.
"If your past isn't pretty ignore it. Simple as that." She nodded firmly having no idea what he was so hung up on. It was not hard to ignore something that didn't please you, she did it all the time. The look on her face was not nearly as dismissive as her advice sounded. She was quite curious about what this past of his was that would leave him in such an odd way.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:38 pm
Continuing to stare at her skeptically, Axel didn't need someone to tell him what he could and couldn't do. He felt his temper flare a little inside of him but he kept it under control. It had been a long time since he had lost his calm and he wasn't going to let this little mare do that. Moving away from her after she tugged on his mane again, Axel gave her another defiant look.
"You don't know about my past so don't say it's simple to just forget." Now, Axel could really feel his temper flaring up. He hated when people told him to just forget his past. Since he clearly couldn't, that meant they were calling him weak and nobody would ever do that. There was a slight edge in his voice and Axel feared that he would lose his temper at any moment. "Do not dismiss something so important to me as something 'simple.'" He was growing very angry and his old self was returning. The fiery, fiesty Axel had disappeared for a long time and this was the first time it had reared its ugly head.
The last thing that Axel wanted people to think of him was that he was weak. He no longer had his dignity or his sanity but he was going to hang onto his strength. That was all he had left to his life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:50 pm
Seraphia was rather stunned. He hadn't acted like this before. She stood there blinking at him as he began to more or less order her not to do something. While the 'orders' irritated her she rather liked the side of him she was seeing now. He was still quite the mystery but he wasn't boring at all.
"Then tell me what it is that you are so reluctant to forget about." She said almost as a challenge. As an afterthought she tacked on, "And do not tell me what I can and can not dismiss." She ruffled her wings with a little smile on her face. In some way this was becoming more of a game to her. She wondered just how far she could push him. She was curious to see this face that he had been hiding away, all of it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:01 pm
Axel was getting really irritated right now and he kind of just wanted to walk away. It wasn't like him to tell random soquili his past and basically all of his secrets. He liked to maintain a sphere of privacy but... she was different. Maybe he should just tell her because he had a feeling that she would find out somehow anyway. Frowning, Axel looked her over again trying to determine if he should tell her anything.
"I really don't know if I should tell you, honestly." Looking away from her, Axel felt really bad for keeping things from her for some reason. What was wrong with him! He JUST met her, he shouldn't be feeling any of these things for her. "And I can tell you what you can or can dismiss when it's pertaining to me. Was she just trying to irritate him? That just bothered Axel even more.
Maybe he should just tell her... But that would just violate what he's been trying to do all of these months in the darkness. They would be wasted if he just opened up to her that easily...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:22 pm
She frowned. Why wouldn't he tell her? Her feathers ruffled irritably as he continued. "You may not!" She said with a stomp of her foot. Only two people were allowed to order her about, her father and mother. He was neither of them. She took a deep breath trying to steady herself but it didn't do much good if any at all.
"What good does it do you to just sit in here in your dark anyway?! If your past troubles you then why do you just sit here to think about it!" She glared at him as she spoke, or rather shouted. It was infuriating that he would not give her an answer. What was worse was that while she wasn't getting any closer to him showing more of his hidden face hers was coming out.
Even a simple game wasn't going the way she wanted it too. It was terrible.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:38 pm
Axel really wasn't sure if he should tell her. It was very personal and very few people knew about his past and his love life. It was a touchy subject for him because it continues to haunt him every day. He could at least explain why he was lurking in this darkness. "If you must know..." Axel sighed and continued with his story, "I don't want to burden people with my problems. It seems like whenever I talk to others or interact with them in any way, it comes back to haunt them or I cause more problems for them. I'm not here to think about my past troubles, it's just to keep me from the world. And I don't want to deal... with the living embodiments of all of my problems. And I can't handle it." Axel stopped and sighed once more. All of his problems were reappearing because he was talking to this mare.
He had just revealed a weakness and he did not feel comfortable anymore. Axel wanted to back away but he couldn't get himself to leave her presence.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:57 pm
She quited down as he began to speak. That was why he was in here? He thought he was a problem to people. She thought that it was rather ridiculous. Her face softened as she just looked at him. He seemed, rather sad actually.
She didn't like it. She found it almost funny when others got mad or pissed off or anything like that. Sometimes it was even amusing when people got upset. He was sad though and it just felt wrong to her. She couldn't pinpoint why but she got the feeling that it was because her little game had taken a very bad turn.
"You could not be a problem for me even if you were trying." She said trying in her own special way to be at least somewhat comforting. She didn't want to see him sad, it wasn't amusing to her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:07 pm
It was true. He also needed to escape Wica... and her children. He had promised that he would watch over them but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was tortured every time he saw them. It hurt him to see anything that pertained to Wica. His heart had healed overtime but it was easy for those wounds to be reopened.
He felt better now that he had told Seraphia what he was going through. "Didn't you want me to leave earlier? And I reminded you about flying. I brought up problems that you clearly didn't want to remember. I'm sorry about that, really I am. I just hurt people and don't even realize it sometimes." Axel continued to look at the ground unsure of what he should do now. It was a problem, thus why he took such drastic measures.
He looked at Seraphia and she looked almost... sad. Again! He was causing pain to others. What was wrong with him? Axel's brow furrowed as he closed his eyes and concentrated on finding the answers to his problems.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:25 am
She rolled her eyes and let out a huff of air. It was not strange for her to want people to leave. She grew tired of people quite quickly, it had nothing to do with him. Did he think her world went around him or something because if that was the case he was horribly mistaken. It was her world after all.
Her eyes drifted back to her wings and she stared at them with a rather annoyed look. It was very true that he had reminded her about flying and as frustrating as that was she had wings. Everyone asked her about flying. He was one of the lucky ones that she had attacked for saying something.
Golden eyes turned back to look at him again. She partly wondered if he was serious, he sounded serious and he looked serious so he was either a good actor or was not joking. So he was in here because he thought he caused problems for everyone. "You truly are an odd one." She said with a flick of her tail. "You seem so concerned with everyone else that you are ignoring yourself." It was something she wasn't able to understand, putting someone before herself. It baffled her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 2:55 pm
Axel was just having his problems and he really didn't feel like telling Seraphia what was going on. He had already told her enough and he was already in a vulnerable state. He only brought up flying because he didn't know what else to bring up. It was already awkward enough.
Shrugging once more, Axel didn't think he was exactly normal so he didn't think that she was insulting him or anything. "Probably. But I'm not ignoring myself. I just don't want to be a burden and that's what I've been my entire life. I try not to think about it but I've only caused problems for others. I like to think that I'm doing good by staying away from everybody for now on. "It's more like... the reason I did this was for the one I loved. It was best that I leave." He might as well get it out in the open because what he was saying earlier wasn't making any sense at all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 3:19 pm
In one way she could relate to him. She caused problems for many people, however, she did it knowing what she was doing more or less. Sometimes it was just one of her games going a bit too far and others it was because those involved needed to be taught a lesson.
What he said next made her shift slightly. He left because of someone he loved?
"What happened?" She asked surprisingly sincerely. She didn't know why, she didn't really care why either, but she was for once not thinking entirely about herself or her family. That was not to say that she was not part of this naturally she still came first. So naturally her curiosity was how she justified this to her self-centered mind.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:20 pm
Shaking his head, Axel didn't like thinking of Wica but perhaps it was time for him to just let everything out into the open. He needed to just let go and stop worrying about other people for once. But at least he was starting to open up, that's a start.
"Uh." He paused before going on, he needed to gather up his thoughts before starting this story. It panged his heart but he couldn't deny that it actually happened. "I think... she wasn't in love with me any more. And I couldn't be the stallion that she needed even though I loved her. So then we parted ways and now she has a new family, a new stallion." Shrugging, Axel tried to not let the story bother him or take any emotional effect on him.
Now that his past was out, Axel could probably tell Seraphia anything and that wasn't exactly what he wanted. He liked his privacy and he didn't want somebody else to know his life. Or at least he wasn't ready for others to know so much about him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:41 pm
She listened as he spoke keeping her eyes focused on him. Her mind began to wander the moment he finished. She could not imagine the kind of person that would go from one partner to the next like that. Her eyes narrowed as she realized that she did actually know one character like that. She whispered the name so softly she barely heard it herself.
"I would say it is for the best." She said a bit too casually for the situation. "I mean what kind of little tramp would do such a thing. It's really quite horrid." She gave a little bob of her head and slowly began to pace back and forth. This mare was becoming a bit of an irritation to her and she did not even know who they were talking about. It was simply her nature though, to judge everything and everyone that crossed her path in any way, shape or form.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:06 pm
Axel didn't blame Wica but he knew better now though. Love is silly and he shouldn't have gotten involved with it in the first place. He was always fighting himself when he was around her knowing that he would never be able to support her. He wasn't able to support his own mental health so how could he worry about somebody else?
"She's not a tramp. It was really my fault for letting things get too far and she should be allowed to fall in love again." Axel really felt indifferent about it; he just knew that he couldn't live out there knowing that her clones were walking around. What if he ran into them... He didn't think he would be able to handle that kind of rush. "She's really a good soquili. She needed saving but she was good to me." Chuckling, Axel was quietly reminded of their times together but then quickly realized who exactly he was thinking of.
He looked at Seraphia with an apologetic look. "Sorry about that. Didn't mean to ramble on."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
