No_Grudges
Just a thought, you could approach this two ways, the two of you tell him that he can only have those things she buys for him if his homework gets done, or if you are already the bad guy (in his mind) then get your ex to agree to tell him that if his grades don't improve he will have to move back in with you.
The problem with your second sugestion is that the boy knows that his mother would NEVER force him to coem live here. And that it would hurt her more than him. So that's not areal incentive.
As fara s the two prong meeting, we have done that..but again, the mother won't enforce the "consequences" we set...and he knows she won't.
It's not the boy I'm mad at, it's his mother. He would shape up in a heart beat if she enforced her threats...but she has no sense of follow through. Yet she wants to get mad when he doesn't do what she tells him.
It just doesn't feel right to get mad at the child for what is clearly his mother's fault.
