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 Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:16 am
While she followed Birch to the shelter, Tousled's mind still raced to think up new ways to make noisemakers - and how to make them beautiful - but when they reached the shelter and she noticed the size of it, something of her usual self came seeping back, disturbing her soaring spirits.
She landed next to Birch and gave the narrow space an uncomfortable once-over. It's... really small. Suddenly, her heartbeats were speeding up again. However, this time it had nothing to do with excitement or inspiration. For the briefest of instants she felt as though the air had disappeared from her lungs. Had she actually suggested this? Where on earth had she found the self-confidence to do that? What ever was she going to do now? How could she possibly spend the who-knew-how-long-duration of this ill-boding storm in the company - the very close company - of one of those bards that she admired so much? It was a disaster waiting to happen!
She threw a quick, worried glance at Birch when he spoke and preened the feathers on her wings to try to buy some time while his words worked their way through the slightly panicked haze in her brain.
And then she stopped.
Her beak still embedded in her feathers, Tousled felt her fear and nervousness give way to a comfortable warmth. She straightened up, shuffled her feet a bit and pretended to study the bark in front of them while she snuck another glance at Birch. His eyes were honest and clear, and it was the last bit of encouragement that she needed.
If he hasn't had any problems with the way I look by now - and he has had plenty of time to see me at my worst, with this wind and all the excitement - why am I still worried? He's... nice. Very nice. Courteous enough not only to not mention what a mess I must look like, but also to offer me the best place in the shelter. I always knew that he was nice, but... Oh, what a gentleman he is!
With a shy smile that she could do nothing to suppress, Tousled shuffled her feet again and mumbled happily:
"Perfectly all right with me... That's very nice of you... So very nice."
She quickly stepped past him and entered the shelter, moving as far back as she could in an attempt to compensate Birch for his kindness by leaving him as much space as possible.
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:03 am
Birch settled in the shelter next to Tousled. She seemed uncomfortable in the cramped space so he tried to give her plenty of room. Cuddling up close to a female he had just started to get to know, or to be that close to any Sentinel that wasn’t family, wouldn’t feel quite right anyway.
He lifted his foot to remove the bells, but stopped midway when he realised what he was doing. Birch didn't sleep with his bells on, but he was practically never seen without them either. He did feel comfortable with Tousled, and less intimidated than in the company of more pushy females. It really helped that she was a crafter and that she was... interesting. Interested. With lots of ideas. She made Birch want to open up and talk about other things than his usual jokes about current happenings.
After an internal struggle he untied the bells using his beak, stowed them neatly in his bag. He placed the bag between his legs as if to roost on it to get it out of the way. Tousled would probably not see the significance, but Birch felt naked and exposed around other Sentinels without his bard gear. Vulnerable.
“Not as comfortable as home,” he said, just to say something, “But it’s better than outside.”
His voice seemed to sound different, but it must be in his head. Birch groomed his chest feathers to remind himself that he was marked as a bard, always, even without the bells. He struggled to get back to the comfortable feeling from before when they had talked about noisemakers and about the new bard group.
“I… um… really like your ideas.” he forced himself to say to break his own uncharacteristic silence, “I think it would look and sound great with noisemaker jewellery on dancers.”
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Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 10:13 am
Tousled was haphazardly trying to preen herself in an attempt to make herself even smaller, but she couldn't help but notice that Birch suddenly hesitated. Beating back the obsessive-compulsive impulse that made her think that he had finally noticed her feathers, Tousled stole a quick glance over at the bard.
He looked quite funny with his leg up in the air like that.
befuddled, she watched him emerge from whatever inner workings that had halted him, take off his bells and put them in his bag, and then settle in to wait out the storm. Only, he didn't quite seem to settle. Tousled's ear tufts shrank back a little, betraying her confusion. She was just sensitive enough to understand that Birch was feeling uncomfortable about something, but not clever enough to figure out what it might be since it didn't seem to pertain to herself.
Even his voice sounded different - well, a bit forced, at least - when he spoke. Tousled wasn't sure what was going on, but she decided to do her best to take his mind off of it.
"Oh, yes... But I think that was actually your idea in the first place. I'm just happy to help out..." Her thoughts briefly slipped back to Birch's bells, but before she could brood over it, she was hit by another flash of inspiration. "Oh! Oh! Do you think it would be possible to fasten small bells to the dancers' wings? Like, in between the feathers, so that they only tinkle when the dancer has her wings open or when she beats them? Oh, and chimes... chimes make such beautiful sounds... we could have, maybe, four dancers with chimes that each sound slightly different from the others... if we could co-ordinate dance movements with sounds to create different harmonies...! What do you think?"
Tousled didn't even notice that her voice had risen from its usual hush to the normal conversational tone that she usually only shared with Tuft. She was dreaming now, admittedly on a grand scale, but she knew better than to try to stifle her creativity when she got a rush like this - Better to try and fail than to hold back and not create anything at all.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 3:50 am
Birch closed his eyes and his expression changed to a calm bliss. His ear tufts moved as if he was hearing Tousled's dancers and not the howling wind.
"Oh, I've heard wind whistlers," he said in a husky voice, "Bot nothing like that. Nothing. I really like it."
His eyes snapped open and he turned his head toward Tousled, excited. This was new. He had heard about fletchers fastening things on the wings fighters in the old days. And when he thougt about it something other than the sheer mysteriousness must have attached the beads on the wings on that huge Mystic he would sometime see, but bells? On dancer wings? He had never heard anything like it.
"Have you ever seen a wind whistle?" he asked, "The wind makes it sing when you fly but most of them would be to clumsy to dance with."
The cramped space was everything that stopped him from bouncing excitedly and instead he bobbed his head.
"My father used to make simple ones for me from hollow reeds," he shared, "He's a gatherer and he would bring home things like that for me."
Birch settled down and fell silent again, thinking about music and crafting and family and dancers.
"Oh," he groaned as reality hit, "We're really going to have to find dancers then, aren't we?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 4:49 am
Tousled fluffed up a little at the unusual, husky tone of Birch's voice, but she felt really happy and excited. He liked her ideas!
"Oh yes, I have heard of wind whistlers. I believe you have performed with them once or twice... So, your father encouraged you to be a bard, did he? How very nice."
An old memory suddenly surfaced, reminding her of a time when she had wondered about her own parents. If they had looked like her, or if they had been beautiful, and what might have made them leave their egg to grow cold in its nest... She pushed the memory back. She hadn't found out much about her own parents, but enough not to entertain any silly fledgling dreams anymore: They had been pretty normal Deep Woods, and over the course of about three days they had both disappeared mysteriously. That happened, sometimes. In all likelihood, her father had been killed while searching for food for her mother, and then her mother had probably had a similar accident when she had tried to feed herself. Nothing romantic or inexplicable about it.
Still, it would have been nice if they had been there, and if they had been supportive and not so... Tousled resolutely shook herself out of her reverie. Why was she daydreaming now? She couldn't afford to relax like this in the company of a bard!
"Er, yes," she said, trying to pick up the conversation where she had left off, not noticing that Birch had let his mind wander as well. "well, I guess you'd just have to make them smaller and maybe... tie them to the dancer's leg or something. But then they'd have to fly with their leg outstreched, and that's not very graceful..." She blinked when Birch suddenly stepped into the conversation again.
"Oh? Well... yes. I guess so." She worriedly studied his slightly pained expression. "...Do you think that will be a problem?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:26 pm
"Don't try to eat the Skurri before you've caught it," Birch said, mimicking an old saying that probably was made up to discourage fledglings to use their imagination and accomplish fantastic things. "We're three so far - you, me and Char. There has to be dancers and bards who'd like to work together. We just have to find them."
He tried to figure out if any of his wind whistlers could work the way Tousled envisioned and promptly started to think about his childhood toys again.
"I don't know if I can say father encouraged me," Birch mused, smiling faintly and going back to the subject they had just left "He brought home little trinkets to amuse me and I took a liking to everything that made noises."
He hesitated and glanced over at Tousled. When he continued to speak he appeared to be studying the pine needles on a branch in front of him.
"I... I was clumsy as a fledgling," he said, "I don't know if I was more or less clumsy than other awkward fledglings but it always felt like I had too many feet or not enough wings or that something else was amiss."
He picked forcefully at a pine needle that seemed to displease him.
"It was apparent early on that I wasn't cut out to be a hunter or a gatherer," Birch continued, "They accepted that I'd be a bard eventually when they realised I wouldn't grow out of it."
He shrugged and fluffed up all his feathers as if he was cold. His feathers settled quickly but Birch was silent again.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:43 pm
"Oh..." Tousled found herself at a loss for words. Which wasn't really an unusual thing for her, but this time it really felt awkward. She wasn't sure what to say, or even how to react to this new sense of confidentiality that had settled over the tiny shelter. The only thing she was sure of was that she couldn't just stay quiet for too long. This silence needed to be filled before it could drag out and make the mood warp from pleasantly confidential to staggeringly uncomfortable.
So for some reason or other, she spoke her mind, straight out:
"Well... I'm very happy for that. That they accepted your becoming a bard, I mean. You're a very good one, and even though you're still clumsy-" Her brain finally caught up with her and she cut herself off with a shocked little gasp, shutting her beak so swiftly that it clacked.
She turned two big, yellow, pleading eyes on Birch and immediately burst out in a stream of apologies.
"Oh no, oh no, I am so sorry, Birch, I didn't mean it that way, I really didn't! Please, I am so sorry!"
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 2:40 pm
Somehow Tousled's little display was just what Birch needed. Her beak suddenly snapping shut and the stream of apologies following... the look on her face... it was pure comedy.
Birch just couldn't help but laugh out loud. It was a pure heartfelt belly laugh and he had to take a couple of deep breaths before finally calming down.
"You're a funny bird Tousled," he said and suppressed a giggle, "I'm not mad or hurt or even a bit annoyed. I am clumsy, why it's one of my biggest talents as a bard."
He nipped playfully at one of her ear tufts.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 3:08 pm
Tousled was rendered speechless as the bard erupted into laughter, and completely dumbstruck when he nipped at her ear tuft. It twitched at the almost-touch and sent a wave of warmth down her entire body, fluffing her up quite spectacularly once more. If there had been room for it in the shelter, she would have shied away (and probably kept running) faster than a serpe's strike - but she couldn't very well do that in these cramped quarters without getting herself a concussion, so she just remained very, very still, shyly burying her beak in her chest-feathers.
"I-I know," She mumbled quietly, feeling another wave of embarrassment coming over her - but she still felt that she needed to clarify. "I meant to say that... that I admire you for that. Turning a disadvantage into a professional tool. I think that's really... admirable." She cleared her throat and looked up at Birch. "... but I'm glad that you didn't take offense. It's just that... I don't have many conversations like these with-" A bard "-Other sentinels. I-I get a bit nervous, I guess."
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:26 am
"I get nervous too," Birch admitted, surprising himself. A shiver ran up his spine, but it must have been a gust of cold air finding its way into the shelter.
"I'm going to let you in on a little trade secret," he said and nudged her with a wing, "I've yet to see anything more nervous than a bard before performing."
There surely was no harm in telling her this? She would certainly notice soon enough if she decided to hang around in the new group. It might even be better to warn her before she had to handle a gang of unruly bards freaking out before a show.
"Char took me under his wing when I was a fledgling and allowed me to tag along sometimes," he continued and started to inch a bit closer to share Tousled's warmth, "And he in turn introduced me to other bards so I could learn from them too."
He suddenly realised he might be invading her personal space. Birch stopped abruptly at a distance that hopefully was respectful enough, and preened for a bit before continuing.
"Um... As I was saying," he said, a bit distracted, "You wouldn't recognise some of them before starting their show. They're complete wrecks and you don't think they'll be able to keep it together long enough to fly there."
He snickered at the thought. "But the funny thing is that they're fine as soon as they land on the branch or platform and start performing."
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:53 am
Tousled just stared at Birch, her feathers re-settling, but her ear tufts rising slowly in surprise. What he told her seemed hard to believe, and yet she believed it because why would he lie to her about this? And had he just said that he was nervous too? Right now? No, she must have misinterpreted that part.
"Really?" she mused out loud, gazing out at the storm as the rain suddenly came thundering down with all the fury of an angry Brigadier. "I would never have thought that... you always seem so confident and... happy, when you're standing on the stage. I-I mean all of you bards. But you get nervous too? Then.. how do you manage it?" She turned her big yellow eyes back to Birch, searching his for an answer.
"How do you manage standing in front of so many people, having them look at you, judging you..." She looked down again, shuffling her feet and mumbling so quietly that the noise from the storm almost completely drowned it out: "I get nervous when people merely look at me... and it feels terrible."
She fluffed up a bit again, but this time it was partly because of the chill that had started creeping in on her now that she had been sitting still for so long. It was nice and dry in the shelter, but even though Birch shielded her from the occational cold gust of wind, the temperature was definitely dropping even in here.
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:39 am
Birch tilted his head slightly and thought for a moment.
"I guess it's just a matter of using that feeling instead of getting overwhelmed," he said slowly, "Most of the time I'm only nervous for a few heartbeats, and then as I start to recite my poem, or tell my story, it all just melts away."
He fluffed up and moved restlessly to regain some warmth and to find a more comfortable way to store his bag. It was padded, but if he wasn't careful a noise maker would poke him. Those he stored in the bag were sturdy enough not to need individual wrapping, but he didn't want to break one of them by sitting on the bag without being careful.
"It rarely shows on the outside," he continued after settling down again, "Your heart might be pounding so loudly you think even a deaf Mus could hear it, and you might feel hot and cold all at the same time, but no one else will see that or even care."
Thinking about it some more, Birch grinned. "Well..." he added, "Sometimes it does show, of course. One of my minders always stuttered if she got too excited or nervous. And I've known bards who've been paralysed by fear too, they just got over it or gave up on being a bard."
"I know that it's all in my head most of the time," he said and looked at Tousled, "And I know that unless I spook myself and try to hide when I make mistakes or feel self conscious it will all be all right."
Birch chuckled as he realised something, "But then again - as a bard I get appreciation for failure too, as long as I fail in a funny way."
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 4:48 am
Tousled mulled Birch's words over in her head, giggling quietly at his last statement.
"Yes... I guess that is true. And you don't really mind being laughed at, do you?"
They were different, of course. He was a very handsome bard, and she was... not so handsome and didn't have a task that put her in the position of entertaining a crowd, so she assumed that it was only natural that she couldn't really comprehend all of what he had just told her. Still, she took his words to heart and committed them to memory. Maybe there was something in there that could help her not to feel so horrible when people looked at her. Using the feeling... don't spook yourself... don't get self-conscious...
A new question immediately popped into her head, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to ask it. What if it was silly?
Tousled noticed the bard's discomfort and realized that he must be feeling a bit cold as well - probably more so, in fact, since he was sitting closer to the opening. And he had his bag of noisemakers underneath him, which couldn't be too comfortable - but there was no room to put it aside, unless they ---
The little Deep Woods fluffed up significantly, but now that she had thought it, it did seem like a fairly obvious and quite good idea. They both probably wanted to get through the storm without being completely chilled to the bone. But still...
Maybe if she suggested it really carefully?
"Ummmm..." Her voice trembled a little, so she lowered it - along with her eyes - and nervously shuffled her feet. "Are... are you cold? I'm starting to feel a bit chilly..."
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 4:23 pm
"I guess I don't," Birch said and smiled. It all depended on the kind of laughter, but he didn't say that. Birch was past the times when laughter had hurt, or so he told himself. He had accepted the fact that not everyone would like what he did, and he was on a ongoing mission to annoy those that didn't approve. If they weren't going to like him anyway he might as well be as obnoxious as possible.
His eartufts rose as Tousled started to speak in a trembling voice. She must be freezing.
"Are you cold?" he asked anxiously, feeling stupid for not realising she might be. He had just focused on keeping a respectful distance, not stopping to think that the best approach might be to help keeping her warm. "Do you want..." he trailed off, "Ah... Should we sit closer?"
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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:34 am
"If... if you don't mind..." she mumbled, now nervous in a way that was more fear than embarrassment, and therefore starting to look quite sleeked. Well, as much as she could look sleek. "You... could come a bit closer here, and there would be..."
She realised that her voice had trailed off into a soundless whisper and cleared her throat, forcing herself to speak up: "If you sit a bit closer, you can leave your bag against the wall, so you don't have to sit on it. And we can both keep warm. If you don't mind."
How long had it been since she last snuggled in with someone? It must have been while she was still just a fledgling growing up in the minder's enclave and they had all had to huddle up to keep warm against the winter storms. She seemed to remember some certain others taking the opportunity of giving her covert and rather painful nips, but of course Birch wouldn't do that. She knew that. It was just... She still felt awkward about being physically close to others, and Birch... Well, he had been so nice to her, that she really didn't know what to do with herself. She couldn't even look at him right now, and had to keep her eyes loosely focused on the spots on his chest. Three rows. She had hardly noticed the yellow ones before, being so bright against his bright feathers.
Now, what did that mean?
Not that it mattered in any way, of course!
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