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 Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 2:15 pm
 A Little More of the Same Malachite - November 10, 2005 I decided I didn't really like the belly-dancing lessons. They made me sore, and Adrian always had this weird look on his face whenever he took me to the lessons. I've kept doing the other dance class. Kaleb practices with me, sometimes. He really likes dancing and music.
I went and saw one of Tristin's swim meets. He's really good! I still don't know how to swim, yet, and now it's getting too cold to swim outside. 'Drian says we could go to a public pool in the winter time, and he could even sign me up for swimming lessons, but I'm not sure I really want to. I wouldn't want everyone else there to watch me screw up.
School is going okay. I'm still having some trouble with science and math, but Mr. Ferguson is really patient. We didn't have school today for a teacher workshop. I tried to do homework, today, but I didn't get very far. Everyone wanted to play.
Adrian hasn't been around as much as he used to be. He's been really busy at the high school where he works at, and he seems really tired when he gets home. He still tries to make time for each of us, even if it's just us reading to him. He keeps falling asleep when we do that, though. He's also been trying to write a novel this month. He has to have fifty-thousand words before the first day of next month. He says he's doing pretty well with it, but he won't read it to us or tell us much about it. Since he doesn't drink coffee, he makes a lot of hot chocolate, and he usually ends up giving most of it to us kids, along with marshmellows that float on top of it.
Speaking of next month, the next month is December. It'll be my first Christmas here with my family. I want to try and get presents for Tristin, Aponi, Adrian, and everyone else. I don't know what to get them, though, and I don't really have any money. I think Adrian would give me some if I asked him, but he already does so much to take care of us. I don't think I'm old enough to get a real job.
I still have a lot of candy left over from Trick-or-Treating. I didn't decide on my costume until the last minute. I was a punk rocker. We managed to get my bangs to spike straight up, but the rest of my hair is too long and too heavy to spike. Hana let me use some of her make-up, which was nice. She's stopped being so prissy and mean lately. Adrian managed to find me a purple plastic guitar for my costume, too. I wore a fishnet shirt (which felt weird, but was really cool) under a red plaid vest with plaid pants that had straps and chains across the back of them. It was a little cold, but it was fun.
Uhm... I don't know what else to write. It's been a while since I've written in my journal, and I don't remember everything that happened. Oh well. If it was important, I should be able to remember it, right?
Kaleb and Hana are cooking lunch today. I'm scared. I wonder if they'll kill each other while they try to chop vegetables?
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 3:55 pm
Malachite - December 10th, 2005 ChristmasChristmasChristmas.
Christmas?
Christmas!
There's lights and presents and trees and barn-looking-things with people standing around a baby.
Christmas!
So exciting!
Fwee!
IwantIwantIwant more candy! Like thin mints and junior mints and mmmmcandysugarsugarsugar.
Heeeee!
They all say I'm hyper. because of too much SUGAARRRrarrarrar.
Mweehee.
I don't know what I want for Christmas. This is all new to me. I want... stuff! But more importantly I have to find stuff! to give to everyone else, like Tristy and Aponi and Kaleb and Hana and Haru-chan and and and aaaaannnnnddd
STUFF!
and Adri. Yuss, cannae forget the Adri.
Christmas!
Eeeeeee~
Let it snow let it snow let it snow~
Christmas Claus is odd. I sat in his lap and said I didn't know what I wanted for Christmas. He sounded suspiciously like a girl... with a beard and a hat and a big stomach. Weeeiiirrddd like me on sugar high.
I TEAR MY HEART OPEN~
AND SEW MYSELF SHUT~
... stupid song, hehehe. Adrian - same day What the ******** was in that candy? Speed?
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:50 pm
An Early Christmas Adrian - December 13, 2005 A few months ago, I introduced Malachite to HotTopic.com, but I made sure not to let him wander too deeply into its pages. He was enthralled with the merchandise he did find, however.
I finally decided that, though he's just barely turned preteen, it would be okay to take him to the actual HotTopic store in the mall. The loud music on the overhead speakers caused him to cringe for a little while, but he was soon distracted by everything else and forgot about it. I think hanging around Kaleb and listening to his music has helped desensitize him.
He didn't care much for the band or Word Tees -- those shirts with the different sayings on them. He probably didn't understand what half of them meant, anyway. The jeans caught his attention, with all the straps and chains and pockets. He liked the fairy things by Amy Brown, Nene Thomas, and a few other artists, which amused me.
It was cute when the girl employees spotted him and started spazzing over his hair and outfit. He was shy about it, but I could tell he liked the attention.
Mal was a bit put out by all the red/pink and black things, but he managed to find as many green things as possible and toted them around the store in a little net basket. Although we put a few things back, he put together an outfit that is very... green. Obsessive, yes, but it all looked good on him, so I went ahead and got it. It's part of his Christmas present.
He asked me again if he could get a choker like mine, since he was a little older. I sighed and let him look at the (meager) selection. I told him we could wait and look around some more, if he didn't see one he liked. He thought that what they had was okay for jewelry, but they weren't like mine. (Stuff like that just doesn't have the same feel as an actual collar, but I wasn't going to tell him that.)
We found some bracelets and a couple pairs of earrings that he liked. Ever since Halloween, he's had this fascination with fishnet, and for stockings he picked out one pair each of green, blue, and purple. We even found a couple of fishnet shirts. Personally, I think HotTopic's clothes are way too expensive, and Mal seemed to agree with me. He got that guilty look of his when he realized a pair of pants was nearly $50. He put them back and we left with a long green skirt, instead.
We also checked out Claire's and few such stores, and got strange looks for being there. Needless to say, we won't be giving them our money anytime soon. Preppy jerks, grr.
After checking out all the clothing stores (and I do mean all, ugh), we stopped at Waldenbooks and looked at the manga. I think he's old enough to read Yami no Matsuei/Descendents of Darkness; there's not a lot of "objectionable" stuff to it, in my opinion. I know he's already started reading Gravitation, which is bad enough in some places. Kenshin is bloodyish, but he picked that up, started flipping through it, and seemed to like it.
We finished up our Christmas shopping and came home and wrapped stuff. Mal went ahead and wrapped up his new fishnet-things and a few other items we got at HotTopic, saying that he didn't mind saving them for Christmas. He did keep the skirt, one of the shirts, and a set of bracelets out to wear as soon as possible. He came downstairs and showed off everything once he'd put it all on. He looked so grown up, it made a small part of me cry.
I suppose I'm gonna have to have The Talk with him soon, huh? Damn.
He needs a new coat already. For Christmas, I bought him a nice long one. He's gotten taller, it seems, though it could just be the boots he wears.
He's taken to calling me "Adri" when he can't be bothered to say "Adrian" or even "'Drian." When he says it, it's usually said in a whine and coupled with a pout. He's a spoiled little brat, and I think he knows it.
He also announced that he's being kidnapped to Tristin's place this weekend.
... Maybe I should have that Talk before this weekend. Or I could go hang out with Nothing and do my best to keep an eye on the two of them. Hmm, sounds like the workings of a plan...
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 4:24 am
Adrian - December 28, 2005 I can't believe they gave him more candy. Malachite - Same Day Christmas was exciting! I got a whole new outfit for playing in the snow - a long black coat, thick black snow pants, big snow boots, and a hat, scarf and set of gloves all in green and purple stripes. It's been snowing a lot lately, so we kids have been going outside every chance we get. Hana and Kaleb are too rough with their snow fights, though. The rest of us stay away from them when they start throwing things, anyway.
I got MORE CANDY (hehehe), an MP3 player and a bunch of CDs, too. We'd all gone to see the new Narnia movie the week before Christmas, and Kaleb bought me the sound track to it. He said he thought it'd be something I'd like, and I do! It's pretty, and I like Alanis Morisette's "Wunderkind" song she sings on it... though it's about a girl, I think. Oh, well.
I never did get to go over to Tristin's house, which is too bad. I haven't seen much of him lately.
There's stuff that I've been wanting to ask someone - Adrian or Kaleb or someone else - but I haven't gotten around to it, yet. It'd be weird to talk about it with Adrian, since he's pretty much like my dad. Kaleb's been busy hanging out with Esty... and, uhm... his room is right next to mine, so whenever they're in there...
Ehm. They get noisy. And it's weird.
I don't get it and I'm not sure I want to. But I'm still curious.
I think I'm gonna go have some candy and then hang around with Adrian.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 2:27 pm
Malachite - December 29, 2005 I've never
Death has never been real like this before. I knew what it was but I've never witnessed it.
It happened right in front of me and I didn't even realize it until it was too late. And not only was it a murder done by someone my age, it was a vampire who was murdered.
Vampires weren't real, either. Vampires and death exsisted in books but now they're here in reality and I don't know what to do now that I know it.
I don't understand. It was just a stupid fight to prove who was the better of the two and one died because of it. It's stupid to kill someone over something that doesn't matter at all. And just because he was already dead to begin with isn't an excuse.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
And I don't want to understand why people kill others and feel nothing afterwards.
Dead... I didn't know him, but knowing he died while I watched just makes it that much worse.
I won't be able to look at Hana and Kaleb's fights the same way ever again, knowing that they could kill each other if they really wanted to. But I wonder if they would be able to do it with the same cold indifference and hatred as...
I have no reason to trust him, especially now, after all this. He doesn't respect me, and I still fear him, no matter how stupid he thinks that is. Things would've been different if... if that all hadn't happened. I might have been able to see him differently than I did before and do now. I don't want to hate him any more than I want to hate any one. But until I can understand why he did it, I can't accept him. He disturbs me in so many ways and he knows it and he takes advantage of it because that's how he is. I don't understand him. I don't understand people like him who can hurt others so easily for their own twisted, selfish reasons.
I don't feel like writing any more. I haven't felt like talking, either. My throat hurts anyway from trying not to cry. I don't have any reason to cry, so why should I? I'm just being stupid. about everything.
I'm so stupid.
"You're home late," Adrian said as he opened the door for Malachite.
"Yeah, sorry," the boy replied. "I lost track of time."
Adrian frowned as something caught his eye and he placed a hand on Mal's shoulder. "Hold still a second," he said, peering at a spot on the boy's shoulder. "That wasn't there when you left this morning," he said, pointing to the thin white line marring Mal's otherwise perfect skin.
"No, it wasn't," Mal admitted, looking away.
"You wanna tell me what happened?"
"Iwasstabbedwithascalpel."
"You were--" Adrian stopped himself, giving his son a look that was somewhere between confusion and disbelief. "Why don't we sit down first. And then tell me what happened."
Malachite and Adrian settled on one of the window seats in the front hall. Mal explained what had happened early in the day -- the death of the vampire in the shadows and how Miss Catzi had taken care of him after it -- and then the conflict between himself and Samsara after dinner time. "I lost my temper," Mal said with a hint of disappointment. "He... I didn't understand what he said, but the way he said it... it was something against you, and that made me even more upset on top of everything else. So I threw my journal at him and he stabbed me in the shoulder."
Adrian's look hadn't faded at all. "This was after he killed the vampire, right?"
"Right."
"That took a lot of guts, going against him like that."
"It did?"
"Don't you think so?"
"It was more of an impulse than anything."
"Still, if you'd really been scared of him after all that, do you think that book would've left your hand?"
Mal hesitated. "I suppose not."
"What happened after that?"
"Well, he did say that I finally 'grew a pair,'" Malachite added, but the look on his face implied that he didn't know exactly what that meant, "but he left me alone. There were some other people there that took care of me, including this one woman who healed me."
"That's good," Adrian said, his tone soft. He wrapped his arms around Malachite's shoulders and kissed the top of his head. "I wish I could've been there to protect you, but it seems like you came out of it okay."
"Yeah. I didn't cry when he stabbed me," Malachite added, feeling proud of himself.
"I suppose that's good," Adrian smirked. "Do you think it's good?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
Mal frowned, looking thoughtful. "I did have some stuff I wanted to ask about, but I'm tired."
"I can understand that. Maybe tomorrow?"
"Maybe."
"Well, just think," Adrian said, pulling back, "you'll start the new year off with a brand new outlook and a bang."
"I don't think I can handle any more excitement," Mal said, wilting.
"Get used to it, sweetheart," Adrian said as he ruffled the boy's hair. "It's called growing up."
Mal rubbed at his scar. "Growing up sucks."
"Yeah, well, that's life for ya."
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Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:59 am
Adrian - December 30, 2005 Apparently Mal saw someone die and was stabbed with a scalpel yesterday, when I wasn't around. That really bugs me. I'm supposed to be there to protect him, or to at least hold him after the fact. I appreciate how Catzi stepped in, but... it was something I should've done, ya know? He seems okay, today. The stab was healed by some lady who was at the shop at the time, so all that's left is a little scar. At least I noticed that; I would've smacked myself if I hadn't. Anyway, Malley said something to the effect that he felt more hurt after seeing a murder than he did after being stabbed. I don't quite know what to say to that. I think he's stronger physically than emotionally, or that's what he's trying to prove. I know I probably would've... reacted much differently if I'd been stabbed, but he said he didn't cry. I don't think he let himself, especially in front of the one who did it -- this Samsara child. I've seen him around and I don't get good vibes from him. Now I like him even less because he hurt my baby. Grrr.
Poor kid was exhausted once he got home last night. Too much emotional drain -- I hate taking him to that place for that reason, but he enjoys the good people he meets. It's not worth it, if you ask me.
Well, this morning we finally sat down and got down and dirt with... the talk.
I think I should've just gathered all the kids together and gotten it over and done with. It went on for over an hour until we were both red in the face. I'd say blue in the face, since I hate talking for that long, but no, we were red in the face. We went through really just the basics as far as sex goes -- and I made sure to tell him about sex with girls and boys, just in case. I also started off by telling him that my parents never had this talk with me, so I hoped he appreciated it. The truth is, I don't remember whether or not my parents had the talk with me; there's that whole amnesia thing that I've never completely gotten over.
To help me with all this, I pulled up a laptop and showed him the site called TeenWire.com. That site is ********... guh. They have diagrams of the human body and a video on how to use a condom. It helped me explain stuff, but Jesus, that was...
I know for a fact they didn't have that kind of stuff when I was a kid.
I also had to explain to Mal about incest and how I would not have sex with him, because Samsara is a disgusting little b*****d and put ideas in the poor boy's head. Grrrrrrrr, that's two strikes against him. or three, depending on how you look at it, because he's the one who committed the murder and stuff.
But anyway, after all was said and done and he finished asking me questions and I gave him a little "care package," we went and had ice cream. In the middle of winter. Because ice cream makes everything better, no matter what age you are. (Unless you're lactose intolerant, ha.)
And then once that was all done, I introduced him to one of the little critters we were given for Christmas: a Pae'il from Mako. Right now it's this little green blob with purple eyes, so I knew Mal would love him, which, of course, he did. He said it looked like a Digimon, except it has a halo. I told him that Nyako, as the Pae'il is called, would be his responsibility to take care of. Mal's a good, loving kid. He'll take good care of it. 
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Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 6:23 am
Malachite - December 31, 2005 I'm feeling better now. I've let everything from the other day go, though I'm still a little... spazzy after yesterday. Adrian gave me "the talk," which was pretty embarassing, if that's the right word. But I'll get over it after I can stop looking at everyone strangely.
At least now I know why Hana is sometimes more edgy than usual. But that's just gross.
And now I know why Esty and Kaleb are always so noisy when he's over. That's... not quite so gross. It's still disturbing, though, and Adrian said he'd talk to them about it. They've been holed up in Kaleb's room since Christmas Eve, so it's been noisier than usual.
Teenagers are really weird. And I'm going to become one. Great.
I wanna see Tristin~ but Adrian has no idea where he or Mr. Nothing are. But that reminds me! I've a little pet/sibling to take care of. He came to us for Christmas from Mako-san, and he's greeeeen~ with purple eyes. He's so cute! I named him Nyako, since it sounds kind of like Mako. I'm keeping him in my room until he gets bigger. He likes cuddles.
School starts again on Monday. I really like having vacations, except I haven't done my homework like I was supposed to. It'll be nice to see my teachers again. I don't really have too many close friends, but that's okay. I wonder what everyone will think of my new outfit. I got it before school let out, but I've been saving it. Well, actually, I have worn it, just not to school. I wonder if we'll be able to go back to HotTopic sometime soon. I got a little bit of money for Christmas, so maybe I can buy some more stuff. Maybe in purple, this time. I've got a lot of green stuff.
I'm back to my usual self. As someone once said, it's like water off a duck's back. ... whatever that means.
Oh, right! It's New Years Eve! Weird. It's my first New Years thing, kind of like my first Christmas. I don't know what to think of it, but I wish people would stop making me eat so much. Food is good and all that, but my stomach can't handle so much at once. And I might get fat and that would just suck.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:36 pm
Aponi- January 7th, 2006 After a quite noticible knock on the door of the Karlet home, a quit skitter of feet and a giggle was the only measurement outside to prove that somone had come and gone, and surely left something behind.
Upon the porch, partially hidden by a large black bow and wrapped tight in green pearlescent paper, with a ittle tag marked in hotpink ink.
'To Mal,
From Aponi'
Inside, underneath a black shoebox marked with the word, 'Decades' and various other skulls, pins and tags, was a rather showy pair of shoes. Ones that Aponi had told a rather long story to get, and to him, they were quite worthy of it.
The creepers were on black platforms, but not too high -maybe two inches- and the entire top above the platformed area was covered in a lush, green, fuzzy, feather-like material. There were thin, hard black laces and a black skull patch on the heel of each, imprinted into the green like a scar. The tag had been removed, but surely they cost a bundle.
Underneath the shoes, marked again in hotpink pen, was a small note from Aponi: 'Malachite, Thank you for being my friend. I hope you enjoy these as much as I think you might. I saw the color and simply had to get them for you. Call me sometime, we're listed. - Aponi.'
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 8:22 pm
Malachite opened the door a few moments too late to catch the pale-haired boy before he ran off. He peeked around, but no one was to be found. Instead, he spotted the sparkly package at his feet and squealed, poking at the bow and the shiny paper before checking the tag.
"Aponi~?" he said, looking up and around to see if the boy was still within sight. He wasn't, so Mal picked up the package and went back inside, sitting on a window seat before inspecting his gift. He took his time opening it, not wanting to ruin the bow or the paper -- the bow was placed on his head for safe keeping while the paper rest on the floor.
He opened the shoebox and peered inside, pulling back tissue paper to reveal the shoes Aponi had so thoughtfully given him. He squealed and pulled one out, loving the feel of the feathery material under his fingers. He also ran his fingers over the black skull patch on the heel, wondering if he'd be any taller with the platforms.
He undid the boots he was wearing and replaced them with the new creepers, shuffling around the front hall in them. They fit perfectly, but still needed to be broken in.
Adrian stepped out of the kitchen and watched Malachite for a moment. "What'cha doing, babe?" he finally asked.
"Look! Shoes!" Malachite said, turning and extending his leg for his guardian to see.
"So, I see," Adrian said with a smile. "Where'd they come from?"
"Aponi gave them to me!" Malachite chirped.
"That was really nice of him. Make sure you give him a thank you note or something in return, okay?"
"Okay!"
"The bow looks cute on you, too," Adrian added before heading up the stairs.
Malachite giggled and adjusted the bow on his head before toddling back to the window seat. He finally noticed the note Aponi had left in the bottom of the box and took it out to read. He smiled and put it back into the box once he was finished. He folded up the paper and grabbed his boots and the box before heading upstairs to hoarde everything away in his room.Malachite - January 7, 2005 So last week I was at the shop, and Crout ended up flipping out on me for no apparent reason. He was jealous that his guardian, Miss Infin, was hanging around with me and so he called me a mother-theif. I couldn't react, so I just sat there, even after he kicked me in the leg.
Infin took him home but ended up leaving a couple of little tiny ponies. I tried to take care of them, but they didn't like me, either, so I got upset. There was another boy named Mik there. His guardian is Adri's Nik. I haven't seen either of them very often. But anyway, Mik tried to cheer me up and, AUGH, he's another person who won't stop touching me. But he's not as bad as Samsara, really. He was being genuine and seemed to really like me.
And then today I found a package on the front door step. Aponi gave me a pair of new shoes! They're awesome! and green! and black. And I either have to find something for him, or send him a note, or something. I haven't been able to hang out with him for a long while.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 5:00 pm
Malachite rapped at the door, shifting from one foot to the other. He didn't really expect a warm welcome; it was the entrance to Hana's domain, afterall, and she never let anyone inside.
The door opened wide and she stared down at the short, neon-green child in her doorway. "You wanted something?" she asked with her usual scowl.
Noticing that her voice didn't have the same venom it usually did towards others in the family, he managed a shy smile. "Could you help me?" he asked, holding out a green hair elastic. "I want a ponytail on top of my head, but I can't do it myself."
The tiger-girl stared at him for a moment before waving him inside. "Don't touch anything," she warned, standing him in front of a dresser with a large mirror. The dresser -- and the rest of the room -- was covered in piles of junk, but one could see his or herself in a spot of the mirror, and even see a few spots of carpet here and there. Mal stood where she put him, and she brushed his hair back with her nails. "Gonna put braids in it, after?" she asked.
"Yeah," Mal said, not flinching even when she tugged too hard at a stubborn knot.
She pulled his hair up to where he wanted it and went to work wrapping the elastic around the mass of verdant strands, pulling them through the loop. Malachite stood quietly, looking himself over in the mirror before asking, "Do you think I'm fat?"
Hana paused, raising an eyebrow at him. "No. Why?"
Malachite pinched at his stomach. "Because I'm gaining weight. And fat. And stuff."
"You're gaining weight so you won't be a short little maggot anymore," she scoffed, finishing off the ponytail with a couple more twists. "What've you done lately?"
"Uhm... school," he said, giving her a dumb look.
"You have gym class?"
"Yeah."
"Every day?"
"No."
"So, if you're so concerned about it, make yourself a 'gym class' period everyday and you'll put on muscle. And stop eating so much candy and sh---crap."
"Could I work out with you?" he asked.
"I suppose. Me or Kaleb. We don't work out at the same time, for obvious reasons," she muttered.
Malachite sighed quietly, pulling some hair out of the pony tail to make braids to drape down on either side of his face. Hana settled on her bed with a magazine, letting him stay long enough to finish his hair. He left without another word.
The school day came and went with Mal receiving a few compliments on how "punk" his hair looked. Not all of the students appreciated it, however, and three stood in his path as he was walking home after school.
"Hey, look, it's the little green fairy freak," one of the boys said with a malicious smirk.
Malachite held his head high, mind calculating the situation. The biggest of the three was the one who had spoken, and he and Mal were roughly the same size. The other two just stood there looking stupid and let the ringleader do most of the jeering.
"Pretty boy in skirts and ponytails," the boy mocked in a sing-song voice before spitting at Mal's feet. "It's ******** disgusting."
Mal didn't say anything; comebacks weren't his forte.
The boy took a step forward. "What's the matter, fairy? Can't speak?"
"Why waste my breath?" Mal said, his voice dull and flat.
The leader snickered, reaching for Mal's braids. "When you suck d**k, does your daddy pull you with these?"
It happened in an instant: Mal made a face, ducking past the boy's hands before getting in his face and planting a knee in the bully's groin, shoving him away. The boy fell back, gasping and holding his privates. Mal spat at him, walking between the two smaller boys. They reached for him and he whirled, decking one in the face while the other shied away.
"I may look like a girl, but that doesn't mean I can't kick your asses," he hissed, stalking away.Malachite Adrian doesn't do anything to me. But every one seems to think he does. Or he would, if he had the chance. First Samsara, now that boy from school.
He wouldn't hurt me, or touch me like that. His morals are too strong for that.
I don't have the best confidence in myself right now, for a few reasons, but I do have confidence in my guardian. I love him, and he loves me, but it's a father/son thing. Not... a sexual, incestual thing. People can't seem to get that through their damn heads.
I still think I'm getting fat. Hana says to exercise and cut the sweets. Why don't I just cut all food, all together? I'd probably lose weight faster that way, but Adrian might suspect something. Could just eat and throw up, but that's gross. I hate being sick; why make myself be sick?
School is harder now, and I'm getting bored with it. It's frustrating my teachers, but they've got other students to worry about.
I haven't seen Tristin in a long time. I heard Mr. Nothing and Mako-san had a falling out. Adrian wasn't too happy about it at the time, but I think he's better now. He says he and Mako-san have been hanging out from time to time.
I haven't seen much of Aponi, either, and I need to give him a necklace I found for him. It's a malachite butterfly: his name means 'butterfly' and it's made of my stone, so... one of these days I'll get around to giving it to him.
I'm tired. I think that's enough journalling for now.
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:47 pm
Malachite didn't eat dinner that night after the incident with Aponi and the bully. He'd already eaten, anyway, and feared to eat anything more. He went up to his room and left the lights off as he lay on his side on his bed, finally able to organize his thoughts in peace.
Adrian, concerned with Mal's absence, wandered upstairs and knocked on the door. He opened it after a few seconds and peeked inside, the light from the hallway piercing the dark room beyond. "Are you awake?"
"Yeah," Malachite murmured. He was still dressed, with a hand curled up under his chin.
His guardian stepped inside and let the door close behind him, plunging the room into darkness once again. He made his way over to the bed and sat on its edge. "You want to talk about what happened today?"
After a moment, Mal nodded. Adrian brushed a hand down his face, and the boy shied away. "Don't... don't touch me," Mal hissed.
The hand fell away. "Why?"
"Don't you know... what they've been saying about you?" Malachite said, voice barely above a whisper.
"No," Adrian said with a frown. "Who's they?"
"People," Malachite replied. "Both at the shop and at school."
"And what have they been saying?"
There was a moment of silence as Mal tried to form the words around the lump in his throat. "They... they think you've... raped me."
Adrian heard the tears in Mal's voice and wiped a thumb over his cheek, brushing away the wetness there. "Why do they think that?"
"I don't know!" Mal snapped, smacking his guardian's hand away. "It doesn't make any sense! You've done nothing to deserve them talking about you like that, and it pisses me off!"
Adrian didn't reply, continuing to reach up and wipe the tears away with his fingers.
"And then..." Malachite shuddered softly, taking a deep breath. "Last week, I beat up someone for it. And then today I beat someone else up for it. But today... I felt what true hate was. I've never hated someone before. I hated the boy and I hurt him. What kind of person does that make me?"
"Human," Adrian answered, leaning down and giving the boy a hug. "It makes you human. You're not perfect." He smiled as he paused. "Well, I think you're perfect, but that's different. Humans hate and humans hurt. But they also love and care for others. You beat that boy up because you love me and couldn't stand to have my name slandered."
Malachite nodded against his guardian's chest. "I've always tried to nice," he whispered. "I don't want to hate... to hurt others. But today... does that make me a hypocrite?"
"Maybe." He shrugged. "But I don't think you're going to make hurting people a practice."
"But haven't I already?" Mal moaned. "Two fights in a week over the same issue."
Adrian pulled away, staring at the outline of Malachite's face in the dark. "If you hurt people for no reason at all, that would be different. Right now, you're developing an aggressive streak that counters your sweet nature. You have to learn to control it, and not beat people up to get your point across."
"So, I should just walk away when someone talks bad about my family and friends?" Malachite snapped again, brows furrowing.
"Sure," Adrian shrugged again. "You don't have to react. Now, if you're physically attacked and need to defend yourself, that's fine with me. But don't be the antagonist."
Mal sighed and rolled onto his back. "I feel guilty."
"Don't beat yourself up for this," Adrian said, giving the boy's hand a squeeze. "What's done is done, and the b*****d probably got what he deserved."
Mal smirked. "The sidewalk broke his nose."
"See? That wasn't your fault," Adrian chuckled.
"I made him fall, though."
"Maybe his shoes were untied."
"Maybe."
"Feel any better?"
"Yeah." Malachite sat up and gave his guardian another hug. "Love you in a totally not-incestuous-way."
"I love you, too, in a definitely-not-incestual way," Adrian said, returning the hug and kissing the top of Mal's head.
They stayed like that for a very long time.
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Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:42 pm
Malachite The other day, I came to the conclusion that I own far too many green things than can be healthy.
I've put together a bag of stuff that doesn't fit anymore, and Adrian's gonna take it to the place that sells old clothes for cheap.
So, since I had more room in my drawers and closet, I could go out and buy new stuff!
Hot Topic was one of my first stops. They really don't have much in the way of skirts, but that's okay. As I'm getting bigger, I have to be more careful about... bulges in certain places. Adrian gave me a couple of suggestions about how to fix that, but... oww. No, I think I'd rather wear pants under my skirts to cover that up, thanks.
Anyway, they had black pants with blue straps and stitching, but they were way too expensive. Still. So, I just looked at the tops and found this corset-like-thing. It has green-blue and purple fabric, with black lace and and detailing. My reasoning is that it's more blue and purple than green, so I can get away with it. I also picked up a few new pairs of stockings -- fishnet and regular -- in blue and purple. I eyed the hair dye. I'm thinking about maybe having purple and blue streaks, but we'll see.
Since we're cheap on a budget, we checked out some other not-so-expensive stores. I found a few pairs of low-riding jeans that are really comfortable and look great on me. They were low-priced, so we got 'em. There's this one black pair that has neon green stars at the ankles. Rawwr~ <3
I found some new jewelry -- bracelets and earrings in green, blue, purple, and black -- and finally bought my own hair elastics, so I don't have to keep borrowing from Hana. I've taken to wearing a pony-tail on the top of my head, but I always keep a couple of braids at my ears, or a bunch of them up in the ponytail itself. When I bead 'em and put them in the tail, the beads click together when I shake my head.
I'm thinking I need to go out and find some sort of job, soon. I can't rely on Adrian to support me forever, and I'm gonna want to buy presents and things for everyone throughout the year. Makenna said he'd teach me how to strip. I'm not sure how appealing that would be, but I've heard it makes good money. And I've got the body and talent to do it, too.
Or, at least, I think I do. I might need to lose another couple of pounds before hand. Looking at myself and listening to what everyone else says, I "know" I'm not fat, but I don't want to take any chances. I don't want to look like some anorexic people do -- all skin and bones -- either. That'd just be gross. So, I'm trying to find a healthy medium. I don't want Adrian to start worrying about me.
I miss Tristin. I haven't seen him in a really long time, and I don't know why not. Maybe it's because I haven't been hanging around as often as I used to.
That kind of reminds me: we've got some new housemates. There's Rayen, a little kitty boy thing, who Adrian picked up as a stray. I think I saw him around GD's mansion, way-back-when, though. And then there's Soco, another boy from the mansion, who is staying with us as a maid. He's pretty cool, but keeps to himself when he's not working. I like his outfits, and have caught both Kaleb and Adrian gawking at him when he's not looking. It's kind of funny, and kind of not. Soco's only a little bit older than I am. You'd think Adrian would be more careful, what with his reputation already tarnished. But, oh well. He can take care of himself, and if Soco didn't want the attention, he wouldn't dress the way he did.
Kind of like me. I dress the way I do because it disturbs most and attracts others, and it's fun. Being able to kick a** while dressing this way is a bonus.
Wow, this entry is really long, so I'm just gonna end it here.
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Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:44 pm
It was just one of those rare occasions that Malachite found himself too restless to sleep. He tossed and turned, and finally gave up. He climbed out of bed and headed downstairs with the intention of watching movies until he finally fell asleep.
But it was not to be; the sounds from the front living room implied that someone had already claimed it. Still, he peeked his head inside, slightly surprised to see his guardian sitting hunched over, a bottle in his hands and a song by Vertical Horizon playing on the CD player. Adrian looked positively miserable, and the dim light made the tear-trails on his face shimmer.
"'Drian?" Mal asked, still hanging in the doorway.
The young man looked up at him and cleared his throat. "Hey babe," his voice was weak and soft, "what are you doing up?"
"Couldn't sleep." The boy stepped inside the room, trying to think of how to address the situation in front of him. "I thought drinking was supposed to make people happy and act crazy."
"Not always," Adrian said, sitting back and patting the couch beside him. "It's a mood enhancer... or... ampliphier... or something. So, if someone happy drinks, they get happier. If they get angry, the alcohol makes it worse."
Malachite sat down beside his guardian and leaned against him. "So, someone who's depressed gets even more depressed if they drink?" he asked.
"'Xactly."
"Then why drink?"
Adrian stared ahead, thinking. "Just seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess."
"That's dumb," Mal said bluntly, giving Adrian a serious look.
"Sorry." Adrian turned his head to rub a hand over his face. "Didn't want any of you to ever see me like this."
Malachite hugged him. "It's okay. Just don't do it too often. Why're you upset?"
"It's just stupid stuff. Nothing for you to worry about."
"I do worry, though," the boy replied, "if it does this to you."
Adrian insisted, "It's nothing. I'll be fine in a day or so."
They sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound coming from the CD of emo music Adrian had popped into the player.
"So, hey," Adrian finally broke the silence, startling Mal out of a doze. "Why aren't you eating?"
Malachite decided to play dumb. "I am eating."
"Not enough, though," the guardian said. He lifted Malachite under his arms and easily pulled him into his lap. He then started poking at Mal's ribs and collarbone, ignoring the weird looks Mal was giving him. "You're anormorexic, and it's starting to show, sweetheart."
"Eh," Mal just looked away. "Are you sure?"
"Pos'tive." Adrian plopped him back onto the couch and reached for a magazine resting on the coffee table. He flipped through it, and Mal looked over his shoulder. "Here 'tis," Adrian said, holding the magazine out for him to see. The article was all about eating disorders and offered many... disturbing photos of deathly-thin teenagers.
Mal went pale. "Ewww~" he said, making a face. "Okay, okay, I'll eat more, I promise!"
"Don't overdo it, of course, but go back to eating like you used to," Adrian clarified, tossing the magazine back on the table. "You have been worrying me because of it."
"I guess that makes us even, then?"
"There shouldn't even be a contest."
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Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:42 pm
Adrian - April 5th, 2006 I'd been thinking lately that Malachite's become too girly for his own good. It seems there's barely an ounce of masculinity left in him. Maybe I assumed it was just a phase, and it was cute when he was younger.
He showed me his newest outfit this morning.
My nose bled.
He may be too girly for his own good, but damn is he hot.
I mean that in an objective way, of course.
Who am I kidding?
I never doubted that he'd become even more attractive as he got older. Now, he's absolutely gorgeous. The bad thing is he's still a perky, naive little git, and people are going to take advantage of him. I'm doing my best to keep an eye on him, and I know Kaleb and the others are, too. Kaleb said, "My baby brother is growing up." His "baby brother" could probably kick his a** in a fight, now. They're about the same height. Mal needs to put a little weight back on; I finally got after him about his anorexia. I'd noticed he wasn't eating like he should, and it was finally starting to show. So, I pointed it out, and showed him what he could look like if he kept starving himself, and he changed his mind.
I took a trip out of town for a day, not too long ago, and stopped at a store that sold crystals and stones. I picked a few up for Mal, and that's steered his interest back to his first love. He's also working on learning reiki, and is considering going into massage therapy.
And, ohhhh, does he give good massages.
He is going to make someone a very happy partner if he ever settles down. I think he's still caught up with the whole having lots of friends thing, as opposed to having one specific person to spend time with and dote upon. Unless, you know, I count for the latter. He's been hanging around me a lot lately. I got him worried the other night when he caught me drowning my sorrows. I'm not too good at hiding things from him. He's a perceptive kid.
Oh, on an unrelated note, he got a pony a while ago, a little tiny one by the name of Aren. Infi got him for Mal, which was really nice of her. He's cute. and green. and purple, actually. There's also another pony running about that he's taking care of. I don't see either of them too often, but I think Nyako's taken to following them about, since they're all Malachite's "pets."
 
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:17 am
It's been another one of those nights where I can't sleep. They've been happening more and more frequently, but I'm not sure why. So, I've started a new routine of going downstairs, getting something in the kitchen, and sacking out on a couch in the front room. The first time, Adrian was there, but he hasn't been in there any of the other times I haven't been able to sleep.
He's there, tonight, with the lights on low and a mostly-empty bottle in his hand. I'm struck with an odd sense of de-ja vu, and wonder if he's angsting again.
"Adrian," I say as I enter the room, "are you upset?"
He blinks at me and I can see the wheels slowly turning. "No, I dun think so," he replies.
"Then why are you drinking?"
"... I 'unno."
I roll my eyes and wonder if I've become the more mature of the two of us. I hold my hand out for the bottle. "Give me that."
He looks from me to the bottle, and hands it over. "Not gonna t'row it out, are ya?" he asks.
"I should," I say, taking a sip of the alcohol. I make a face, but I don't spit it out. It's gross.
"Shouldn' be drinkin'," he says to me.
"You're a hypocrite, Adrian Karlet," I say to him. "When did you become an alcoholic?"
He looks startled and a little hurt. He whines, "'m not~"
"Then get rid of your booze," I suggest. "You don't need it." It's not like we ever use it for cooking or entertaining company or anything.
He's slow to respond, again, thinking it over. "'Kay," he says, slumping back against the couch. He's probably just saying that; he won't do it, later. He stares up at me, and I stare back, bottle still in hand. The dim light and the alcohol make his eyes look funny... and different.
"Mal?" he finally says.
"Yes?"
"You're hot."
"Yes." I smile. I know I'm hot, why should I deny it?
He reaches for my hand and tugs me down onto the couch beside him. I sit, and end up getting "flopped" on. He's not heavy, but it seems... odd. I go with it, and start stroking his hair. I've seen him with others enough to know that he does this flopping-thing occasionally, and that he enjoys being petted. It's just odd that I'm the recipient this time around.
We sit quietly for a few moments, and I wonder if he's fallen asleep. I eye the bottle in my hand and decide to try another sip. It's still gross, but I swallow it down. Maybe alcohol is an acquired taste? It's one I think I can do without.
Adrian makes a muffled sound and his hand starts rubbing up and down the satin of my corset. I shift a little under his touch, and the hand slowly moves down to my hip, my thigh, and eventually reaches my a**. His touch has me paralyzed -- otherwise I might have grabbed that hand and stopped him.
"Adrian?" I ask, looking down at him.
His eyes are open. "Mm?"
"Y-you're drunk," I point out, breath catching as he gropes me.
"Doesn't change anythin'," he says.
That doesn't make any sense, so I ask, "Why not?"
"You're still hot," he says, breath hot against my neck, "and I still want you."
Oh, God.
Those words are a turn on, but I'm overcome with a feeling of anxiety. I shiver as his fingers trace against my skin, slipping just beneath my clothes.
I'm more insistent on getting his attention. "Adrian."
He looks up at me.
"You don't know what you're doing."
His hand is quick, moving beneath my waistband and around to my front to grab my--
Ohhhh, s**t.
"I know what'm doin'."
"Adrian!"
But there's no getting his attention, now. His hand is busy, and his lips move against my neck, and my mind is reeling while my body feels like it's on fire.
I don't know if I want this or not, but it feels so damn good.
My body must've gotten ahead of my mind, because before I know it, I'm out of breath and he's licking his hand clean. And he's looking as sexy as possible as he does it, and he's doing it on purpose, because he's looking right at me. That look makes me shake, but it isn't from fear or revulsion.
God, he looks so hot.
That anxious and unsure side of me is shoved to the four winds as I crawl into his lap and press up against him. He moans and pulls me closer, and we lock lips. I haven't been kissed in a long time, and certainly not with this kind of... of hunger. It leaves me breathless and weak, again, and I pull away to look him in the eye.
So that's what lust looks like.
"You want me?" I ask.
He moans again and grinds against me. "Yes," he says, leaning in to n** at my neck. "So ******** hot, my Malachite."
That was all the answer I needed.Malachite - April 23, 2006 I gave myself to him last night.
Maybe it was wrong, maybe it was stupid, maybe it was a mistake, because he was drunk, and I was young.
But I didn't care. If something that felt go damn good was all of those things, I was willing to do it once. It didn't feel wrong or stupid, to me, and if it was a mistake, I'll eventually learn from it.
I know he loves me. Maybe not sexually, save for that night, but he loves me. I wouldn't be surprised if he felt a little guilty about it, but I don't. I love him back, and he is attractive. I still have a few doubts, but I don't want to think about them. Just let me have this feeling for a little while longer.
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