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 Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 2:26 pm
(( This is SERIOUSLY too much fun heart ))
She appreciated his apology, but it really wasn't necessary. "Don't worry Antony, its really alright. Maybe I am not used to talking like this, I'm not really sure myself." With a slight frown, she realized how rude she must have sounded herself. "I am the one asking most of the questions, so I should have expected any kind of answer. I suppose I was just taken aback." With a light shrug, she decided to let it pass and listen to the stallion more.
Before she could look at him again, his wing had snagged her face, and she blinked at him a few times as he eyed her carefully. What was he doing? Was there something on her face?
As she was thinking about it, she watched his expression change, and she listened to him curiously. It wasn't that she wanted him to literally seduce her; but she felt as though sex didn't have to be approached in a conversation! "I don't really know.. if that would even work. I think everything is better when you are just yourself, Antony." Looking away from him again, she realized how ridiculous she sounded. "It wasn't my intention to change the way you are, I just.. felt like blurting some of the assets I see in you. And just as you were saying, I don't think physical attraction is the only importance in attraction. Nor do I find conversation as completely necessary, but I think it depends on what the individual finds attractive." Did he really not get it? She had always enjoyed so many things about Antony, but she was quiet in expressing those kinds of thoughts to him. Especially when she was trying to find herself, she would have never dragged Antony into that kind of situation.
But now? Was it really worth it for him to be around her anyways?
She wondered if she completely gripped the idea as a whole, and she lowered her ears before stepping a few feet away from him. "I am probably making you uncomfortable, if you'd like I can leave or something." She obviously didn't WANT to leave, but she had embarrassed herself enough today and she was expecting Antony to agree on that issue. She looked at him, and tried to keep her eyes confident. In her mind he was going to say 'Yes you have freaked me out enough, so I must go', and she was prepared for that kind of answer.
It was better to just think of the worse, that way it wouldn't hurt in the end when she was hopeful.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:09 pm
Had Loveless raised the question of discomfort earlier, Antony would undoubtably have agreed with her. After all, he'd almost passed by without so much as talking at first, so he wouldn't have been one to complain had she decided to leave upon seeing him. But now, things were different. Still complicated, but different.
So even though he had no idea what exactly it was she was trying to say, or not to say, he knew that he had to set her straight on he himself. Laying back his own ears, Antony moved swiftly around to the other side of the mare, using his substantial bulk to cut off Loveless' retreat in at least that direction. The last thing that he wanted was for this to end on a bad note, after all.
"Honestly, Lessy, if I was uncomfortable with this topic I never would have brought it up. I am more at ease talking about this than just about anything else, starting first and foremost with how this summer went."
They had been doing so well conversationally, but now it seemed as though everything they said was at cross-purposes. He wasn't exactly sure how to fix that, but he knew that he at least had to try; considering where they'd started, this meeting had come a long way and he didn't want it to end on a bad note. "I'm not changing, and I think it's good you feel you can air your opinions. Debates are good, and if I've reached the point where hearing a differnt point of view makes me shut down and want to run away, then I can't say that I'm a very mature adult. Not that I claim to be one anyway, but you know."
Pausing to mull over THAT thought, Antony soon came to the conclusion that the best course of action was to be utterly and totally straightforward. She had been that way with him, the least he could do was be that way with her. It might be that she herself wished to leave, that SHE was the one uncomfortable, and he could respect that. "If you don't want to talk about this any more and really want to go, I won't stop you; but don't assume that I'm having issues and try to use that as a mask for your own sentiments. Coming so soon after our posturing, you might not believe this, but..."
Trailing off, Tony gave her a wry, slightly amused smile, knowing full well that what he was saying probably sounded like the most backward comments Loveless had ever heard...but yeah, that was the way this conversation seemed to be going anyway, so he might as well speed things along. "But honestly, I'm enjoying this. If you're uncomfortable with our current topic we can change the subject, but I WOULD like to continue talking to you."
And there couldn't be anything more honest than that.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:06 pm
Once again, Antony had moved his body near hers, and she almost stumbled while stopping herself from the contact. "You know, this sort of thing..." ah, that would be dumb to literally announce. It was that sort of movement, that sort of physical push that she was talking about. That sort of dominance that literally took her by surprise, and she tried to make her expression dull as if she was unaffected by his move. She wasn't going to lie, it felt nice to be surprised..
"I guess I just thought I was boring you, so I didn't want to waste your time." Not that she was digging for sympathy, but she shook her head lightly before continuing her ramble. "And trust me, I enjoy debates as well, and don't consider myself mature by any means. And the subject matter.." maybe she was lying to herself? She found nothing wrong with the discussion of sex, but why was it so uncomfortable to literally talk about it with Antony? She felt comfortable around him.. but when his comment arose about sex between him and herself............. "..I don't really know a recovery from it, Antony." Pushing her conflicting thoughts away for a moment, she smiled to him and tilted her head. "Remember, I am still learning, so don't expect anything too amazing from me."
She held her eyes on his, and breathed in to relax herself. "I am enjoying this as well, and didn't actually want to leave.." Curving her smile, she gave him a soft but playfully toothy grin. "I just assumed you wanted me to shut up eventually. But, it seems my prediction was off. You are more mysterious then I thought, Antony."
Was she attempting to flirt? With a light snort, she realized how stupid that sounded!
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:19 pm
If only Antony was the observant type, he might have been able to make less of a mess of the situation. Then again, if he were more of the observant type he might never have gotten into this situation at all, so it was probably lucky for all involved that he didn't. Or wasn't. Whatever.
Basically, he missed any and all reactions on her part to what was to him merely a simple part of conversations; body movement. What she saw as a move of power and dominance, he saw as a way of preventing a misunderstanding. Funny how that sort of thing worked out. Though if they kept talking across each other like this, there'd be a few more misunderstandings before the day was done.
"Well, you weren't and you aren't and I don't. As long as you don't expect profound wisdom from me, I won't from you, and we'll go on harboring our own seperate delusions as to each others' intellect while saving our own egos. When you think about it, that's actually a pretty nice situation, don't you agree?"
Grinning toothily, Antony allowed himself to loosen up once again, now that he didn't have to keep her from bolting. "And you should never assume anything, not about me or about anyone. Maybe I like hearing you talk, maybe it fills all the vacant spaces of my mind and prevents me from having to think too hard."
Regardless, it was an idea. "But now that we've gotten that hashed out, is there really any need to stand here like we're expecting a bolt? Come on, let's check out that grass by the river." Moving forward briskly, Antony moved to drape a wing over Loveless, intending to use the manuever to steer her towards the water and the rather pleasant looking patch of grass than ran alongside it. He didn't know about her, but he was REALLY starting to get sick of standing.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:49 pm
"I believe I can agree with that." she then added, in a spunky tone. "But I will try to refrain from assuming so much. Its a bad habit I am trying to break." Along with many OTHER habits, of course. "But we all assume, it can't always be helped. I am sure you were assuming some things about me before." As she finished speaking, she noticed his newly draped wing on her back, and she playfully bumped her body next to his. "The idea of moving does sound fulfilling..." And with that, she started moving her body alongside his, looking at the so called 'grass' he was talking about.
"Now is grass something you are into? It looks pretty bland to me." she then added, with a touch of confidence. She wasn't sure why she was letting loose so much, but it did feel nice to enjoy herself. Antony tended to joke around a lot, so she saw no problem with doing the same back!
"I'll have to admit that this area is pretty terrible, I know it backwards and forwards, and it is pretty isolated." It was the perfect spot for an intervention, afterall! "You are the first that I have seen in months, and I wonder if I should come back into reality soon." But was she ready? That was a thought that was hard to even think about!
"I wouldn't want to intervene with your lifestyle though, if I did come back." Antony would be busy running off in his own social world, and she? She would have to figure something out for herself. It would be strange, but she would HAVE to do something drastic. "Hopefully I can see your father again someday.. so I could be kind to him for once." That was mostly for her father's sake, since it was necessary to do the right thing.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 11:09 pm
"Touche, Lessy." Snugging the mare against his side, Antony nodded his head in acqueisence of her point; he HAD been making assumptions. A lot of assumptions. One by one, those assumpions seemed to be proven wrong...but he couldn't say he minded. There was so much positive to this meeting, and he was able to forget about the past, at least for a little while, and honestly enjoy himself.
Which was easy to do at the moment. Since Loveless was herself a kalona, he didn't have the same freakishly large size ratio going on; Loveless was exactly the right height for him to comfortably drape a wing over, even if she DID have spiked wings of her own. And she was nicely proportioned as well, matching his stride easily as the two walked over to the grass.
That was probably what motivated him to suddenly flop down into the grass, neither stopping nor giving so much as a word of warning before taking advantage of the lush grass. And letting go of Loveless would be so hard...it was much easier to drag her down with him. At least she'd fall against his side instead of the grass; that way she stood a very little chance of getting hurt.
And once comfortably in the grass, he could deal with the rest of her comments. "Don't worry about Dad, Lessy; he doesn't let things get to him like that. You might have been a twit, but he's got a soft spot for kids. And besides, the future's the future; overplanning kills enjoyment of the present."
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 11:25 pm
...Did Antony seriously flop onto the grass? Talk about random! But since Antony's weight had vanished from being next to her, Loveless took a silly tumble herself! It was not nearly as dramatic as Antonys, but she was flustered until she felt how cool the grass felt. "This is... odd!" Relaxing in the grass was as foreign of a concept as talking to a different breed! "Do you always relax in the grass?"
She couldn't deny how nice it felt, but at the same time it felt unnatural! It was a strange combo of feelings, and she moved her body around to get used to the way that grass felt. It was sort of itchy, but sort of soft at the same time. She wondered how creatures could eat such a thing, it looked so terrible to chew.
Aaand, back on subject! A Twit? She was dragged out of her grass discovery when she heard him say that word. Well, maybe that was a nice way of saying a demon? "Overplanning keeps me motivated. How could I not overplan? There are so many things I need to do... but laying here like this.." she giggled suddenly while staring up at the sky. "I guess it is an excuse to just ignore everything for awhile."
But did she honestly deserve a vacation? She highly doubted that. "Have you seen your siblings recently? I haven't seen mine in ages." She felt so out of the loop, and she turned to him again before lifting her head up lazily.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 11:40 pm
Watching Loveless flop about caused Antony to laugh, her antics reminded him very much of a fish out of water. Granted, he hadn't warned her, but that was no reason for her to be so dramatic. Though he had to admit that it was entertaining. "No, I don't. But I'd say that even if I only had once before, that'd still be more than you. Do you always take so long to get comfortable?"
As he asked the question, Antony had his features schooled into a look of innocent inquiry; as though he hadn't just dragged her down out of the blue! But his pale eyes were dancing with mischief, knowing full well that she could give as good as she got. A sense of humor was a powerful thing.
Though so was grass, a resting place that he did adore. "Mmm...." Pulling his wing over from where it was slightly pinioned by Loveless, Antony proceded to flop over from his side to his back to his other side and back again, rolling in the sweet smelling grass with almost languid motions. It felt good, scratched itches, provided a tasty snack...but enough of that. Satisfied with his rolling, Antony flopped back over onto his stomach and stretched his legs out in front of him facing Loveless, resting his chin on his propped-up wings for optimum comfort. He had grass in his mane, of course, but that was to be expected after a nice roll. And speaking of conversation shifts...
"Nicky and Neve, not for a bit. Neve is good riddance, Nick is off roaming and good luck to him. I've seen my halves lately, though; m'dad's been busy, as I'm sure you can imagine. Two new kids, both without so much as a drop of kalona blood. It's rather nice for them, I'd say." Though to be perfectly frank, he hadn't spent much time with them. He wasn't a 'kid' stallion, not really, and the foals' mother made Antony uncomfortable in a way he REALLY didn't care to experience more than he had too...but that was a different story.
"You have two brothers, right?" He thought he remembered hearing something like that before.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:21 am
"You know I am a strange one.." she then said before raising herself off the itchy ground. Antony was sitting in a strange fashion, and Loveless tried to do the same but looked more hilarious in the process. "Oh well, I give up." she then grumbled, while swinging her legs around uncomfortably. "Maybe I am not made for this 'comfort thing'. Or better yet, for this grass thing.."
She was quiet as Antony spoke about his siblings, but then flicked a ear when he heard him say something strange. "Nice for them? What is that supposed to mean?" Was he jealous of that? It had never occurred to her that he would feel that way. Was his life so depressing? Before thinking too much into the situation, she decided to answer his question, "And I pretty much have the same situation, I haven't seen my brothers since we all grew.. and I pretty much gave up on finding them." With a light snort, she flopped her tail on the ground and watched the pale stallion. "I saw whoever your father is 'with' recently, but I didn't know they had kids. Nice for them.." Loveless didn't know what one said as a congratulatory motion, so she just quieted herself before thinking too much about it.
"I don't really understand the family thing anyway, I am only close with my father, since my mother is basically as dull as a shadow. Perfect families looks as if they get boring anyway." Bringing a slight grin on her face, she wondered how the stallion thought of such concepts. "I would want to be a good mother for children, but I wouldn't force mine to be all lovey dovey and crap. I would probably just be.. supportive?" Ah well, she was obviously unaware to how a mother acts, since hers was so invisible and lame.
"What about you?" With bright eyes, she curved her smile while awaiting his thoughts.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:20 am
Perhaps lounging was a learned act after all. For the sake of politeness, Tony held back his laughter as Loveless flopped herself awkwardly this way and that, apparently in an attempt to adopt the pose he himself was in. Then again, he'd been doing this sort of thing forever, so there was a good chance she was a bit more flexible than she. "Or maybe you just need practice; learning to lie properly can be just as tricky as learning to stand."
Though in light of the more serious vein of conversation, Antony allowed that subject to slide, for now. "What else COULD it mean other than literally 'nice' for them, Lessy? Think about what it means to be a half-breed kalona, and you ought to have your answer. No matter how hard we try, we can never truly 'belong' anywhere." That was all Antony said, all he was willing to say, but in the course of that brief statement his jaw had hardened and his eyes steeled as he looked out, not at Loveless but at a complicated and bitter world, one where the pure blooded kalonas tried to kill half-breeds the second they learned of their existance and the uninformed masses ran in fear. Hated and loathed on one side, feared and shunned on the other...it was at best a depressing life. In Antony's case, he was fortunate to have a strong family and good friends, but that didn't eliminate the sting that came from the fear of others.
But as soon as he'd finished speaking, the glint was gone and he was back in his casual pose, nodding at Loveless. "Well, that's what happens in non-traditional families; we branch out. My younger siblings are already starting to take off on their own, so I don't harbor any delusions of family closeness, at least in the geographical sense. My dad can find us, though; he's got a knack for it. Must be a parent thing. And I think that the about me would be obvious...I'd make a TERRIBLE mother."
He knew what she meant, of course, but he couldn't let that phrasing get away from him without comment. "What would you think?"
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:36 am
She looked down and listened, knowing that everything Antony said was the truth. She wouldn't even befriend him before because of his 'impurity', and just thinking about it made her angry at herself. "Well, I'll protect you." she then said, with glazed eyes. "Especially when it comes to other Kalonas, I would happily kick their asses if they ever bothered you. Many act high and mighty, but they don't actually strike. Though the ones that do.." she paused, knowing quite a few individuals like that, "..they can really tear you apart. Their is a big difference between who would actually attack, and who is bluffing." Loveless even cringed at the thought of being attacked by some. "I don't doubt that I will have to fight some that attack me when I return back to where my father resides. But.. they don't seem to attack him, and I have always wondered why." With lowered eyes, she shook her head and proceeded to continue on with whatever he was saying.
"Goodness, you are so funny, Antony." Nudging her shoulder into his, she sighed and looked at him seriously. "You'd probably be an excellent father, despite your thoughts on self-motherhood. You grew up with a good father, so I don't doubt you'd be one yourself."
Feeling sort of strange on that topic, Loveless moved her body so that she was standing up in full posture. It felt nice to look down at Antony, he looked so small from that point of view! "Even I would be.. supportive if you had a mate with little Unicorn children running around. As long as you were happy..?" She shrugged and chuckled to herself.
She wouldn't like that one bit, but she could never tell him that! But since he did accept all breeds or whatever, she would get used to it someday.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:56 am
As he listened to Loveless' words, something odd struck Antony. She was talking about protecting him, protecting him from the very same kalona that she had so recently seemed to worship. She knew what she was talking about when she spoke of them, and in some ways that was terrifying; but so far, he'd managed to avoid near death experiences, and if he had his way he'd keep it that way. He knew what the kalona were capable of, and NO ONE was going to face that for him, not while he was still alive. But the idea was still nice.
As Loveless rose to her feet, Antony remained as he was for a moment, looking up at the mare with a thoughtful look, but very shortly he was on his feet as well; little mannerism his father had taught him, NEVER sit or recline when in the prescence of a standing mare. Pulling the mare down on the ground was Antony's own improvisation of that idea. But seeing as how they'd just done that, it was time to stand, and stand he did, a mere step from Loveless.
He wasn't exactly sure what to say on the topic of his father potential; even though he knew that he stood a chance of becoming a father every day he continued his current lifestyle, it wasn't something he spent a lot of time mulling over. Que sera sera and all that. So he simply moved on. "Well, Lessy, I can almost promise you that this unicorn lifemate will never materialize, though I guess there's always a chance the foals might. Occupational hazard, I suppose. But if foals DO materialize for me, then I'd want to be there for them, the way my father was there for me."
And he was, and always had been. They might be two different stallions, but Antony could never feel enough love and respect for the wind stallion that was his father, who had stood up to so much and worked so hard to instill his children with a sense of self and of simple kindness. Thinking on that, Antony reached out to stroke Loveless' cheek with one wing, the leathery ridges light against her face. "And if I have kids someday, I'd want them to learn what my father felt was the most important; acceptance of everyone, regardless of looks or race, and second chances for those that truly deserve them."
He wasn't really thinking about what he was saying at that point, or what he was doing; it just flowed, as though the words were something that needed to be said. And they did, really, hitting Antony himself with the full realization that THAT was what he needed to be, forgiving. Suddenly things all made sense, and he was moving forwards to wrap his wings around Loveless, pulling her close in a tight embrace. Second chances...
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:20 pm
She nodded happily, agreeing very much on what Antony said. "That is a good way to look at it, and I only used a Unicorn because of how different they look and such." With a quirky grin, she shook her head to get her mane out of her eyes, and collected herself comfortably. The image was too strange for her, but she shook it off and focused more on their conversation.
She was abruptly startled to feel Antony's wing on her cheek. It was a strange gesture, and her entire face started to swell up and become warm. She was sort of listening to his words.. though was completely distracted at the same time! Its not that she didn't like his gesture, but she was just surprised as usual!
Antony's next movement couldn't have been predicted, and Loveless found herself obeying the contact, and moving in to enjoy it if anything. She didn't really understand his motives for the kindness, but she imagined that he was aware that she was happy. Her entire body was now swelled up, and she was flustered with a strange happiness, mixed with an embarrassed glee!
Either way, she was silent in his gesture, but was able to muster out the word, "Antony.." and her voice filled the air with the same kind of kindness that he had expressed to her physically. Maybe this was his way of saying everything was going to be ok?
Loveless kept herself in the moment, while just ignoring what her mind was telling her. Was this seriously happening? She was.. so happy..
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:31 pm
There was a rightness to this situation, somewhere. Logically, Antony wouldn't have been able to talk about it, not at the moment, but if nothing else he could tell how RIGHT it was to hold Loveless against him, to feel her body against his and hear his name softly spoken. THIS was right, not that suspicion and fear and anxiety. He'd known that was wrong, known it somewhere inside, known that it wasn't him. He wasn't meant to assume the worst, wasn't meant to be paranoid, he was just supposed to accept, to smile, and to BE.
That in mind, Antony could only smile and enjoy the warmth and happiness that came from that subconscious knowledge. Holding Loveless close, he tilted his head to the side and gave hers a gentle, affectionate nuzzle, then drew back slightly and gave her a smile. "Lessy, I am so, so sorry I doubted you earlier. You were right, that WASN'T me; but this is me, the real me, right now. And this me, the real me, hopes that you can forgive the other me for being such a cad."
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:53 pm
Loveless just stood while not moving a muscle since she was in a heavenly state, though after a moment she returned his nuzzle of affection. A nuzzle was such a strange thing, but she remembered her father doing that to her when she was a filly. "And I am sorry for being such a horrible friend to you.. but at least we can move on and continue to trust each other." Trust was a wonderful thing afterall!
It was funny how things happened, and how time brought about new experiences and feelings.
Not even realizing Antony's initial words, she chuckled and looked up at him happily. "Of course I would forgive you, if you forgive me back?" She wiggled next to him playfully.
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