Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm going to have to call bullshit on this, and everyone who's said the Childfree movement's goal is to look down on mothers. You've gotten the feeling that you've been looked down upon because you want kids? Has anyone actually said you don't know what you want, that you'll change your mind, or that you're not capable of making a choice on your own? Has anyone actually said that to you? To your face or in writing?

I've had people online, and off telling me I can't make the decision to not have kids, because I'm only 20 years old. I've had family members tell me to 'grow up' when I say I don't want kids, be the reason due to my physical, or mental well being.

Now, I've seen the softer, and the more extreme sides of the Childfree movement. I've read too many instances where a woman was turned down for a tubal, because she was too young. Where women have been ridiculed by their families for not producing grandchildren, and situations where women have been left by their husbands/boyfriends, because they decided they wanted kids after X amount of years of being together. I have never, ever heard anyone say that the only real Pro-Choicers are Childfree.

Since when is making everyone Childfree Pro-Choice? When was that ever said, or implied? No one's saying you can't be a mother. No one's looking down on you for wanting kids. I'm am seriously pissed off that people here can even imply that people here push for abortion. We push for the CHOICE to have an abortion. I can not tell you the rage I'm feeling right now, because people want to come here and harp on about us not supporting women becoming mothers. I'm guessing none of you remember the instances involving two pro-choicers, one who aborted, and one who didn't? Some people still have the images in their signatures in support.

We need more Pro-Choice mothers? No we ******** don't. We need more women who made a choice, regardless of the outcome. Not a damn person here has implied that Pro-Choice is the same as Pro-abortion. Obviously the people saying this haven't had the brunt of people actually telling you that. People actually calling you 'baby killers' for wanting choice. You want to know how I, and servaral other people see it? When there are topics about being Childfree, and the hurdles that are put in front of you because of it, there are servaral people who like to turn the subject around to include mothers. There haven't been many Childfree subjects where someone hasn't come in to hijack the conversation, or come in with "well I can't imagine not being a mother/not having kids. I love the smell, and the feeling and it's so great!"

Stop. It. Now.

People set up conversations looking for views, yet when the person who doesn't want to be a mother comes in with her views, she's bombarded by mothers, and potential mothers showing their views in her face. Someone has a personal view, and people find it necessary to take it personally, and throw a fit. Take this thread as an example. The people who want to be mothers take offense to someone's view. Someone's personal view that they have lived through.

If you want to be a mother, fine, but don't act like the Pro-Choice movement is anti-mother. That's complete and utter bullshit. The same people fighting for choice, and fighting for better rights for mothers, children and families.

Like I said, many of mine come from outside Gaia. It isn't the guild, nor the ADT thread alone, it's the pro-choice movement we've encountered in general. I've been told to never count on the future, to be sure I'm ready, and all sorts of stuff- IN PERSON. So, just because it isn't on Gaia doesn't mean it isn't a problem for non-CFers.

I'm just trying to be honest and I don't like to be made out to be someone who wants children and is forcing their view on others.

I just expect that in this guild, we respect ALL choices regarding motherhood.

@Individual- Again, just because the CFers have a very legitimate complaint doesn't mean that people who aren't CFers don't.

@ Everyone else: So I explain what I really mean, and I still get people acting like I advocate completely ignoring other peoples' problems? Gee, thanks.

Once again, in case anyone missed it: The point isn't "we have it worse, sucks to be you" (though I understand it came off that way, and for that I apologize; it was also why I clarified what I meant on the past page, although people seem to have ignored that), the point is that many people are acting like being anti-motherhood has become a part of the pro-choice and/or childfree movements, as if attitudes like that are EVERYWHERE, as opposed to the child-obsessed culture we live in. No one here is saying that CFers/"choicers" who b***h at people who want kids should be ignored, praised or otherwise not chewed out. No one is advocating invalidating others' feelings, and I have no idea where the ******** any of you got that impression.

I did the same thing when my mother began complaining that I ate too much (in general). I had recently gotten out of the hospital, and my appetite was returning, so I actually had three meals a day and the occasional snack. When she started complaining, I stopped eating altogether, and ended up back in the hospital.

Of course, my mother has done enough to make me feel like crap about my body -- she's recently taken to telling me I need to lose weight, even though I've finally gotten UP to the target weight my doctor recommended. (I'm sorry, 145lbs at 5'7 is far from overweight. Especially when I good portion of that is MUSCLE.)