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((4/5))

Raze did her best but damn it, ******** trees were everywhere and outnumbered her. Pfft, fine, it's not like she wanted to really look at it anyway. Wandering along paths, she ended up back to the striped tree, and hurrying through the canned statements, started to shake until she got a second fragment.

*enter*

Oh hello world. wow there was a lot of pretty things here. And spooky. she liked it. So many trees. Oh this had a big arrow over it. What was it? Hooves stares at the sign and listened? Nice!

He was awake, or at least awake for a given value of 'awake', seemed to be awake ... wow his brain wasn't working right. Shaking his head after listening to a sign talk to him he wandered off to do as it had asked. He was pretty sure back home before he'd become a hunter he'd played some weird games but talking signposts? there wasn't even a mouth or speaker.

Shrugging and adjusting his top hat he wandered around in search of the first tree.

After peering at him for a moment the tree, make that tree person, spoke "Oh, please, you're not putting your hand in my nose are you? That's so very disgusting, and I'm afraid I haven't cleaned up yet. Very disgusting indeed. Come back again when I'm clean."

He frowned and looked around for a moment for some water before turning back. "I'm not dirty anywa...oh great it got up and walked away."

Eventually giving up on trying to find out where a tree had wandered he shrugged and headed off in search of another one.

Which also talked ... trees shouldn't talk!

You reach a long, slender tree and it looks quite ordinary. "Hello," says the long slender tree. "I have a small question. I have two friends, Dilly, Milly, and Nilly. Nilly is taller than Dilly, but shorter than me. Dilly is shorter than Milly but taller than me. How tall am I?"

"Um .... you said two friends and named three. You also didn't give me numbers so all I can do is guess. Or assume you're Milly and calling yourself a friend of yourself."

If you answer as truthfully as you can the tree says "No, why, I do not think that's the answer at all. You are very wrong."

"I can't be 'wrong' when there's no way to be right without a tape measure. Let me just come back with one of those"

He rolled his eyes before patting the tree trunk and wandering off.

Trisha finally got up and came to a tree, passing by the other person and found a tree that started saying something about size. She was so confused. what?

"But... that doesn't make any sense at all....."
(3/5)

"Oh nope. Not me." she shook her head. "I haven't found anything.... This is supposed to be a game, well it's a little weird. I really like the pretty spooky art though. The trees are cute." And it was pretty neat to be able to play as if she were part of the game.

>> Dreadpirate entering

Waking to find himself in the woods, he wonders at first if this is an unannounced test. He wouldn't put it past his superiors to drop him in the middle of unknown territory and leave him to find his own way to wherever they actually wanted him to. But the trees themselves are strange colours - it's no woods he's ever seen - and then there's the strange icons flashing everywhere... Memories filter back about an earlier dream. A rabbit hole, falling, drinking an unidentified potion (what a mistake that was, he thinks).

~I think you're still asleep,~ a voice in his head points out.

He frowns because while the owner of the voice can sometimes see his dreams, they haven't previously been interactive. "What makes you think that?"

~Look at your arms.~

His face contorts and he's about to snap back when his eyes drop and he.
just
stops

stares

He clenches his left hand into a fist. Relaxes it. Raises it to eye level. It isn't real, he realises, just a fake. But when he checks his right, it matches perfectly to the left. His body is entirely fake. A golem, maybe?

"Something's strange here," he says.

~Oh, no doubt,~ the voice replies, before tacking on a wickedly amused, ~Dreadpirate.~

He looks up. Sure enough, there's a little display in his vision with that name, and also... hit points? Level?

"Is this a game?"

~How can you dreams be so peculiar and yet so boring?~ the voice demands. ~Oh, that looks important. Go over there!~

"Who's in charge here?" Dreadpirate asks, even as he walks over to the yellow exclamation point.

~ ... Obviously, that would be me. As always. I really do despair of you, Dreadpirate, if you haven't worked that one out yet.

The reply is automatic. Only after it's out there do they both pause, remembering the earlier nightmare. It's a relief when the signpost gives them a task to carry out.

~Pick a tree, chop chop!~

"So bossy," Dreadpirate says calmly, while moving off the path and towards the trees.

The next tree was, odd.

"EWE!" she squeaked. "I'm not putting my hand in your nose what is wrong with you? she stomped her hooves and moooooved away from the tree.

"They don't like me." she pouted. "Maybe I should eat their leaves off. you do seem to be having better luck than me."


(4/5)

The next tree he picks is a thinner tree - maybe it's less likely this one will attack him, but who knows. He can't see any eyes, so he thinks it might be a normal tree. It looks very ordinary.

"Hello," says the tree.

Dreadpirate rears back.

His shock is echoed. ~It talks? Why is it talking?~ his companion demands.

Mindful of the response last time he addressed the voice aloud, Dreadpirate thinks, 'I don't know. I thought you said my dreams were boring, anyway.'

~I don't like it,~ the other inanimate object who shouldn't have a voice announces hypocritically. ~Dream of something else.~

Dreadpirate ignores him. Besides, the tree is asking him a question.

"I have two friends, Dilly, Milly, and Nilly. Nilly is taller than Dilly, but shorter than me. Dilly is shorter than Milly but taller than me. How tall am I?"

Crossing his arms, Dreadpirate says, "For starters, you named three friends, not two." He thinks on the riddle, for surely it is a riddle and not just a normal question. "That's impossible - if Nilly is taller than Dilly, but shorter than you, then Dilly is also shorter than you. But then you say he's also taller than you. It can't be both. Are you sure you're not mixing your friends up?"

Or that you aren't making them up since you can't even count them correctly, he wants to ask. He doesn't. He has some manners.

~Most unusual for a pirate,~ the voice is quick to point out.

The tree hmmms, then says, "No, why, I do not think that's the answer at all. You are very wrong."

"You're very wrong," Dreadpirate growls. Forget manners, manners are overrated. "At least I can count."

~That's more like it,~ the voice crows while the tree huffs in an offended manner. ~Now let's go find some booty! And maybe some treasure, too.~

Dreadpirate ignores both the tree and the voice, walking off to find another tree.