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I'm facing the hardest yet easiest decision of my life. And I couldn't be more terrified if I tried. Well done leg....

Um..okay, I like My Little Pony, Telebtubbies (XDXD) and I'm bisexual.

Few people know this, but if anyone close to me killed themselves I would stop feeling anything for them. And I wouldn't go the the funeral. Or perhaps I would, and infront off all who loved them openly exclaim how much of a ******** idiot they were and how I will never waste a tear on them. It's harsh. But when so many people have died who wanted to live didn't get the chance. I won't waste my sympathy on those who couldn't find a way to be happy. Cuz it's NOT ******** impossible. You can't help the hand you're dealt but it's what you do with it that counts.

My dillema is one of my friends who I made the mistake of having a more than just friends relationship with has depression. It's wrong for me to even say this. He's been through hell. More than anyone I know. But he drives me ******** INSANE becuase after all he's shared that I did not want to ever hear he comes out with he wants to end it. How am I meant to respond? I want nothing more to do with him if he entends to end it I am NOT talking anyone out of that s**t again. And all I can think to do is tell him so and crush him. And I honestly don't know why I don't. Except I find myself wasting all my time talking with another guy infront of him. Anyone. Any person. Cuz I desperately want it all to go away. I want to fight but he doesn't!!! He just backs down. Accepts it. ********. Then he has the nerve to call me while I'm AT HOME and work through every ******** paranoid delusion in his head. Though not all are so delusional. So ******** him. Next opportunity. I'm telling him just what I think.

Why do girls think they want a sensitive guy? That's the one giveaway they haven't been in a real relationship.


Ahhhh....One less skeleton in the closet.

DL confused

I'm afraid I'm going to become a serial killer. I've ripped animals apart and left them in several places in the woods near my house. It doesn't give me the reaction it probably should -- I would at least expect an adrenaline rush. Doesn't happen. I simply watch, calmly, as my body rips another body to pieces. I just... watch. Niether liking nor disliking, approving nor disapproving, just watching my sick mind drive itself deeper into insanity, and in those times, in the moments where the blood sprays onto my hands and my face, when the flesh makes a sound not unlike that of a zipper as it reveals to me everything it contains, when I expect to see a soul and only find a collection of organs filled with blood, when I'm reminded of all those anatomy books I read when I was little and realize that they were right -- in those times, I see my future. And that scares me, in a strange way that feels like I'm not scared at all, but I know that I should be. It's a halfhearted fear, and that in itself is scarier than a fullhearted one.
In that vien of thought, I often 'fantasize' about killing people.

I'm also selfish. I used to pretend to be schizophrenic just to get out of school.
I hate myself for how much s**t I've done to people I care about.
I don't necessarily cling to people, not at all -- but I would sometimes hurt the people I care about just to be reminded of the fact that they care about me. I hate myself for that.
I hate myself for how sexual I am -- it's a poor way of describing it, but it's as close as I can come without adding another paragraph. It's probably due to the fact that my sister molested me when I was probably around 6 to 8, in fact I have no doubt that that's where it came from, but that gives me no excuse for it. I also have necrophiliac (I hate using this next word) fantasies.

Whenever I'm in a place around people, I do things to try to get their attention, which almost always fails, and then when I do actually get it I'm so socially awkward that I don't know what to do next, and simply leave.
Also around people -- if I see someone I find interesting doing something, I'll position myself near them in the hopes of starting a conversation, then I never do. I probably come off as a stalker to a lot of people.

I lie to people. I will lie about myself in some way, be it withholding information, using wording to say something other than what I mean, or outright lying, so as not to incur a person's disfavor. I've done it with Pink, and I did it in the third paragraph of this post, withholding information.

I've been in the psyche ward four times. The first because I pulled a knife on my sister. I believe the other three were just the result of arguments with mother wherein I pissed her off that badly.

When people die, I don't care. I've been to two funerals for family members, and neither time cared.

When a family pet dies, I only cry because I feel like people think I should.

I laugh when someone goes into a large area and kills a bunch of people.
1 -- Last Christmas, some guy dressed as Santa, went into a Christmas party, shot everyone and burned the house down. I laughed.
2 -- A few years ago, I heard about some guy thinking he was the Highlander, going into a mall with a sword, and decapitating people. I, again, laughed.

There are people who I absolutely hate with every fiber of my being, who I think about killing more often than any other type of thought involving a specific person aside from Willow, and yet I do absolutely nothing. I even pretend to be friends with them. This got to the point last year where the ******** was coming to my house. How he figured out where the ******** it was I have no idea, but still. If I'm Johnny the homicidal maniac, then that dude was my ******** Jimmy. Seriously. I hated him. But, much like I do with about three people now, I pretended to be friends. Why? Because as I said, I try as hard as I can to avoid pissing people off.

Do people read what others have posted?

Anyway I am a horrible person who leads others on, make them want to break up with their girlfriends(yes, many have) and crush their spirits that we would be something later. I tried to break the habit by getting into a proper relationship but it didn't work and I experienced heart break for the first time. My habit still isn't broken but I am more conscious about what I am doing when I engage a person.