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I an seriously THIS close to quitting this RP guild. Honestly!! It has no leadership! Or rather, it feels like it doesn't. The 'captain' doesn't do the job of the captain! The 'vice captain' does all of the work!! I know that was the same way here in this guild, but with Lilac, it was understandable, and she was busy life! When she was here, she was an amazing captain! Very generous, and got things done. <3

However, the 'captain' I'm talking about, the times she's on, she does not get things done, she is /not/ an amazing captain, and she isn't very generous. In fact, the Vice Captain does the Captain's job. She also steals plots, puts her characters in without regard of whether they belong there or not. Her characters also magically know things they SHOULDN'T. WHEN IT'S CLEARLY IN THE RULES THAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CONTRADICT WHAT'S ALREADY BEEN SAID IN THE RP!!!! It's been agreed upon that NO ONE will know what they're going to find the ruins!! Yet, SOMEHOW, one of her characters knows!!

Want to know something else about this 'captain'? She gets upset at the tiniest things, and goes into hiding, and will ONLY talk to Person Mo when she's upset or angry or whatever. She also doesn't TELL anyone if she's going to abruptly show up in a scene and throw one of her characters at one of mine! 8D

Want to know something else? She's nearly DRIVEN away Person Au by the way she's treated her! 8D She practically ignored her posts, didn't bother to keep up with the scene with Person Au in it, and treated her like utter crap.

And another thing! 8D Person Mo and the Captain always RP together. Always. So, their characters nearly interact with only each other. The Captain would disappear for lengths of time and not post, causing Person Mo to get stuck, yet would spend all day posting like.. 11 pages in a different RP they're both mutually in. However, Person Mo, wants to post in THIS RP and can't because the Captain wouldn't!! Now, guess what?! 8D Person Mo hasn't been posting in the other RP and the Captain is mad that she's stuck!! Oh the horrible horrible agony!

Now, onto the crew. Besides the vice captain, none of the crew does their jobs very well. Or rather, they don't pull their own weight.

Person Ae is only available on weekends. Her job as a mod? She does updates from time to time, comments on people's characters sometimes, but that's it. It's understandable that she doesn't have much time to be on, so I won't pick apart on that. What I want to pick apart is how whenever we start discussing how to 'fix' the guild, she suddenly gets very sarcastic and pissy and snarky. It may be unintentional, but.. whatever. I don't feel like dealing with snarky rude people when trying to 'fix' a guild, thanks.

Person Mo is on a lot, but doesn't do much mod work. She updates the powers list or something, I believe. She also acts as the mediator between us and the captain. Because the captain can't seem to address problems with us directly and must go through her. She does a good job at that, but.. frankly, she needs to know when to not tell people, what to not tell certain people, and who to tell. She also needs to stop freaking out at the tiniest bit of drama. I was asked to change the rant I had in that guild in their rant thread because she felt uncomfortable with it and felt like it was attacking someone. Well, guess what. I didn't name names, IT'S A PROBLEM I SEE IN MORE THAN ONE PERSON, and it needs to be FIXED. It's a freaking rant thread made for rants so people can freaking rant about things that need to be freaking fixed in the freaking guild!! D=<

Person Dy is not on as much either. Perhaps less than Person Ae. He's rather eccentric and trigger happy and impatient. His job as a mod? Pretty much nothing except getting rid of old threads. His characters are strange and I question if they even belong in that RP, but whatever.

Person Tor is on pretty decently. Her job as a mod? Organizing things, making things less cluttered, updating the character lists, etc. However, that is not needed everyday. She only needs to do her job any time a new character comes in, which would be possibly once every month or two. Frankly, I don't like her attitude. Why the hell would all red heads in the country be related to each other? Why the hell have a monopoly on freaking hair color?! That's not all, either. She acts like she knows everything. "Oh, Person Ch, that type of wound isn't called a 'sucking wound', it's blah blah blah" or "Oh, pubs are wonderful family fun houses =D!". Not to mention the fact she freaking TAKES OVER plots and shoves people out of them along with the 'captain' so that this plot, and this plot, and this plot, is now Person Tor and 'captain' exclusive and we don't want you in it! 8D

Now, the Vice Captain? Her job? She does all of the updates (save one or two done occassionally by Person Ae), she approves all the characters, she comes up with plots for the RP, she DRIVES the plots (all of which is the captain's job), she updates the ability thread (which is Person Mo's job), she updates the character list (which is Person Tor's job), she is the freaking basis of this whole RP! HER plots get stolen from her and she gets shoved out of them!! Rarely anyone ever stops and thanks her and appreciates what she does!! If she just up and quit right this second, the RP will freaking die. It will freaking die as if someone stabbed multiple times then shot in the head. Multiple times. The Vice Captain acts more like the Captain does, and barely anyone appreciates this!! If she quits, Person Ch will quit, then I will quit, most likely Person Ae will then quit, which would result in Person Dy quitting, which would result in Person Tat quitting, which would only leave Person Mo and the Captain to be all by their lonesome! 8D

As for Person Ch, she isn't a mod, but she acts more like one than most of the crew there, and that is definitely saying something. I also do as much as I can for the guild, which I feel is more than what /some/ of the crew members do. It really is sad that the REGULAR members of the guild run the guild BETTER THAN THE CREW DOES.



-sighs- That feels better. <3

I feel like such a total moron. I really do. Good one on your part aunt. Taking all my money and treating me like s**t. I had no idea that I could be living on my own... and I could afford it with my loan money. Now the school is saying I took out too much. Is hassling me and may not give me any. Now that I find out that I can live away from people that make me feel miserable, I could have been living on my own all this time. Wow.... this is great.

Thanks family for not telling me about this. I had to find this out with help of my boyfriend. Thanks family.... I feel so ******** over.

Wow... You guys are probably tired of reading these rants I write about my family. Might as well just skip this one too. Because this is going to be a long winded one.

Dear Family (whom I live with),

I am tired of you guys totally ignoring me. I really am. I mean. I stayed up really late trying to study for these finals. I got too tired (thanks mono) and had to go to bed. Woke up and studied and didn't get to eat breakfast because I had to go. So I got to class late, ( thanks for that oh knowledgeable one who stays in the bathroom forever because she's too p***y to get herself well again, aka, AUNT). You harped me to take a sandwich without giving me time to ******** make one. So we go to school, I'm starving, and I have to go THINK? Ya. Not happening. There goes that exam and another F to add to my grade list.

I go to my English and I'm zoning out because my sugar level is low because I haven't eaten anything. I'm trying to think and write and I pray I did well. I need to get a good grade in the subject I am majoring in you know?!

So I call you guys after school and you get on the phone and you're too tired to come pick me up. Excuse me? Too tired? b***h. Please. I am starving. I asked if you wanted to go to lunch. You picked up s**t fast food to stuff your fat a** face with and make grandmother even more sick. Wow. You couldn't even wait for my call. So I ask if she can come pick me up so I can come home and eat? OH ******** THAT. She's too tired, and apparently I'm a waste of gas. So. Here I am. Sitting here. Starving.

I probably will pass out in P.E. because of them. I hope I do. I really hope I do.

Apparently, the one who ******** does everything in the house not only gets treated like a piece of s**t day in and out while she's living there, but she gets treated like a piece of s**t and waste of time outside because they can't be bothered to take 10 minutes and come pick me up. I am so ready to just let all hell lose and yell at them all. I need a job. I need a job close to home that I can jump on a bus and take myself to. And I need money so I can move out to a place closer to home. I am almost 22 for shits sake, and I'm still in college. I want out. Out of school, out of that house, away from this family (excluding Mama cuz she's the only helpful person in my life, Dad tries he's just tired and busy).

My sister is coming to visit tomorrow and she'll be a b***h the entire time and ignore me.

So i will be sitting in my room waiting for my boyfriend to notice me while he's busy having fun at his house this weekend.

I walked out of my classroom wanting to cry, because I enjoyed that class and guess what, that's over with now.

I really hate my life. I really can't wait to ******** finish everything here. I want done with school so I can move on with my life. I mean, this is just really pissing me off now. I'm making myself sick hating myself and where I live. I feel so ******** helpless because I want to do s**t for myself, but I can't. I have to be taken places. I can't find a job. I can't move out. So I will concentrate on the one thing I can control (for the most part thanks history teacher who I am going to give a bad rating on ratemyprofessor.com) and that's school. So I can finish it as fast as possible and move the ******** away from this stupid family.

I'm serious. I'm moving to Canada. So I can live inside my house and be happy with the person I want to be with most in this ******** you family (except you mama),

Hisa.

I'm not one to normally want to negatively rant about something (and it figures that my first time in this thread will be about a clickable adoptable site ._. though I guess that just shows I let most things not bother me... ), but the admins of gpx (Global Pokedex Plus) just...severely ruffled my proverbial feathers the wrong way with what they pulled with this Secret Santa event.

It said right on the event page that you would get something of equal rarity to what you give, but then when it happens they blatantly threw that out the window and are warning and/or suspending anyone who complains. |: It would have been one thing to just TELL users that the trade wouldn't necessarily be of equal rarity and see how many people participate, but to TRICK your users like that (and on/for CHRISTMAS?)? Yeah..., I'm pretty sure you just made at least half of your users never want to participate in an event like this again if not just leave the site outright. |: I know I'm among them.

I hate my body, I wish I was a normal person.

My little sister got herself a counsellor.
Now you must be assuming i'm mad at someone else. I'm not.
I'm ******** mad at her.
Mom agreed to get her a counsellor to rant about all her 'family problems'. WHAT FAMILY PROBLEMS?! Seriously! She says it's because the parents favour her twin sister over her, but that's far from the truth. She has a violin and a piano, which she has recently stopped playing. SHE started hanging with the wrong crowd. She's piled with a bunch of emo kids with "troubled lives", which is crap save for ONE GIRL who has had some serious family issues, but that's it. And SHE doesn't have a counsellor!

My sister does not NEED a counsellor. She is not DEPRESSED. I know depressed. I WAS DEPRESSED! I withdrew from all of my activities, lost all my elementary school friends and was ******** miserable!
She's not miserable. She's a ******** emo. An emo who wants to be just as angsty as all her angsty little friends who ALSO do not need counsellors and are ALL victims (save for that one girl as I said).

I hate when people treat counselling like a fashion statement! And the fact she's sunken to that depth really makes me AND MY FAMILY super sick! My dad is LIVID! Mom bends too easily and is believing she needs it, but when I was depressed back in my early teens, I refused counselling. I hated the idea. But no, she boasted to her friend at the dinner table about her new counsellor as if it were a toy or a piece of clothing. And that makes me angry.
"Now I can be just as angsty as all of you!"
I'll go get you some angsty vampire books now, sis. You belong in them with the amount of drama you drag up to me.
If our one-on-ones are just going to be about how 'hard done by' and what a 'victim' she is, I'm not going to talk to her.
Because she's not a victim.
The reason I stopped being depressed is after hearing my friend's stories about life and realizing that 'man, i have it pretty ******** good. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something.'
she did the opposite.
She decided her life wasn't miserable enough, scours through every single little thing and makes her life seem worthy of a poorly written shoujo manga.
She needs to get over herself and let the counsellor thing go so that they can go and deal with people who REALLY need the help.

All I want to do is scream.... and smash my keyboard against a wall. That is how angry I am atm. My blood pressure is through the roof.

Why can't anything go right in my life? The only thing going good in my online relationship. ONLINE. RELATIONSHIP. I can't even move to where my boyfriend is. I can't even ******** be with him. I ******** hate this.

I have no control over what happens to me. My family ******** me over.

My family is a bunch of retards (for the most part).

My parents ******** me over because they were too over protective. They wouldn't let me have a social life or a job. Therefore, no work experience and I get extremely nervous around people my age (younger people no). I don't have a car because, ha, no job. I don't have a job because no work experience. I can't get a job because I don't have a car, and all the jobs here require you have a drivers license. I can't get a drivers license because I don't have a job to pay for it. My school is refusing to give me loans, my aunt is refusing to help me out... and she throws out my food without asking. I want life to turn around. I want luck to smile on me, just enough to get me through this, and up to my boyfriend where I can pass go and collect 200 dollars. I want to be able to ******** have my own life. I want to get in my car, and drive to my friends house or my job. I want to spend my money on things i want to spend it on. I want to be able to buy whatever I want. I want to be treated like an adult. I want to be able to say whatever I want whenever the ******** hell I want to ******** say it.

I have no freedom in this house. I can't think for myself. I can't talk for myself. I can't do anything for myself, or else I"m ******** selfish and everything is about me me me. I can't believed what I want to believe. I keep curling up into a ball inside. And its getting smaller and tighter and my blood pressure keeps going up and up.

I have gray hair. I ******** have gray hair now.

I feel like I'm sinking into my brain. I feel like I'm being swallowed up. I feel like my soul is dying. This ******** sucks. I don't feel like a person anymore. I feel like a pet.

I feel like a leashed up dog, who is so tightly muzzled it's cutting into me. I feel like my chains are too big and the pull too tight. I feel like if I step one toe out of line, I get snatched back and the air gets knocked from my lungs. I am becoming rabid, and mean. I am trying to keep my tail tucked as best as I can, but every time anyone approaches me, my teeth bare and I growl. I'm becoming like a rabid dog that doesn't want to be touched or be around anyone. I stay in my room looking for an escape. I spend everyday either talking to my boyfriend or looking for a job, and whenever anyone comes in to talk to me, I shy away and become extremely unresponsive/nonchalant until they go away. It makes me sick. I want to be treated with respect, not like a slave or a dog. I am a person, and they refuse to give me the time of day in regards to how I feel. They refuse to listen. They tell ME to listen. They tell ME what to do. They won't even let me see my friends and when I do (cuz they show up and pick me up), they complain when I get back. FFS.

I want a second chance in life. I want life to turn around and smile at me. I want luck to look at me. I want a way out. I want to be with my boyfriend, and I want to leave this place and never come back.

But all I can do is wait... and I don't know how much longer I can wait...

*sighs*