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 Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 2:16 pm
Just a word of encouragement to all of you, especially those who are nervous about labor and delivery:
I am less than a month post partum so I have very recent experience with all of this. You will make it through l&d. No matter how difficult or easy it is, you will make it through. Then when you're done, you'll have the most beautiful baby in the world because your baby is always the most beautiful one in the world. heart
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 3:04 pm
I agree, well you have to bare with me, still very pregnant, but, my mother had a 9lb 9oz 23 inches long baby (me) i was the biggest but shortest labor for her, 14 hours, and the longest was 20 hours or 22 not sure, but her first baby, and well, she didnt have any pain killers of any kind, if she can do that then i think i can as well.
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 3:10 pm
Just my L&D input....
My son: 9lbs 1oz; 21 and a half inches long; labor 12 hours
My daughter: 9lbs 4 oz; 22 and a half inches long; labor 4 hours
I had no epidural nor pain killers and I made it just fine. 3nodding
It's perfectly normal to be extremely nervous about what's gonna happen, but you can do it!
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 2:52 pm
Ugh, I'm going to ask this here as it's already come up, though it's not pregnancy related per se, but we do get plenty of people in here who already had children and may have gone through this. I thought we'd have another 3-4 months before people started asking, to be honest.
Chris and I are both agnostic for the most part: meaning we don't really believe any one religion is totally right, or adhere to any particular faith. We both believe there's something more, just not sure what it is.
Anywho, my family is almost entirely Lutheran. Chris's is Catholic. Now my family knows I do not go to church and for the most part seems to respect it and it never really comes up...except when talking to my mother a couple of days ago and she asked me if we're going to baptize our baby or not. It has come up with us before, but we're both kinda "eh" about it. She thinks we should do it anyway "just to be safe" even if it's at a non-demoniational Christian church. [YES, her entire philosophy about her faith is based on that. "It may not be true, but can't hurt to go to church anyway." -eyeroll-]
Now Chris's family on the other hand, THINKS he's Catholic. He has issues standing up to them anyway and he's never let them know that he doesn't really believe any of it and I don't think he's about to start now as they are much more pressing about religion then my family is. I'm afraid the issue may cause a lot of ugliness where his family is concerned and we've already had more then enough of that from them. And even the members of his family who are another denomination are very very outspoken about their faith.
We're also about 1300 miles from home, so it's not like if we did any of them could actually see a ceremony.
So the question is: have you been in this situation? And if so, what would you/ did you do? I was surprised to see that even my mother was kinda miffy about it and while it's our child and our life, neither of us wants to completely alienate our families either. And someday when we're done with the military we'd like to move back closer to home. I don't think there's a way to really compromise on this one though.
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 7:50 pm
They're expecting y'all to have your baby christened, I take it?
Well, I can somewhat relate to how you feel. Being pagan, my religeon doesn't mesh with ANY other religeon mine or my hubby's family holds. Not to mention, I don't exactly advertise my chosen spiritual path to anyone either. But the majority of my family are HARDCORE Southern Babtists and the hubby's family is Methodist. Neither of those denominations really have any kind of ceremonies for young children (except Methodists do a type of christening, but his family aren't super hardcore like mine are). So we really haven't had anyone pressuring us to have any kind of ceremony done, BUT they all pressure us to "get those kids into church!"
The way I feel though, is that NOTHING in this world could possibly be more personal than your spirituality. I mean, it's just *the* most pesonal thing I can think of. And on that note, who in the world has the right to tell you what path you should follow or what you should "force" upon your children?
My belief is to educate my kids about different paths, and let them choose their own. If they wanna be Pagan, then Woohoo! If they wanna be Christian, I'll be supportive of that as well. I'll support them no matter what spiritual path they walk down. And that's what should matter. Not some man-made ceremony the child wouldn't even remember nor care about when they're older.
Just because a child get christened, doesn't mean they won't choose some other path later in life. It's not religeon insurance! xd
I think the best thing for you to do would be to just give them some "answer" everytime it's brought up. I mean, whenever my family brings up us needing to go to church, I just say something like, "We'll look into it" or "I'll have to see what church I like" or some other vague answer. That way you're really not flat out saying "No," but you're also not obligating yourself to something you may not want to do.
It pains me to have to psuedo-lie to my family, but it's not my choice. If I knew they would be accepting of my religeon, then I'd be more open about it and tell them I have no plans to ever attend a Christian church, but they choose to be close minded, so I have to go with the only option they leave me.... and that's to be discrete and deceptive at times about it.
I know it's a difficult situation when your family tries to pressure you into things for THEIR SAKE, but it's something that's a part of life for many of us. But just be firm on your convictions, and do what you gotta do to maintain a decent relationship with them... even if you've gotta be vague.
Or you could totally go another route and turn the tables on them when they bring it up. Point out something completely personal about them all the sudden and put them on the spot for a change. Maybe they'll get the idea after being embarrassed a couple of times and let it be.
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 12:29 pm
Hello everyone! First I want to say how happy I am I found this guild!! I have been reading threads and what not here non-stop for the last two hours!! I am so glad to know that I know have a place to come and talk with people who are going through some of the same things I am (especially you Pirate Dirage- it's weird to read your posts, I first heard my baby's heartbeat on Oct. 31st too and my fiance and I have also recently been asked about the religion aspect of raising our little one. His family is Lutheran and mine Catholic and we also both more agnostic. So thanks for asking that question, it's a great one!!)
I found out early Sept. that I was about 6 weeks pregnant and man what a shock that was! My first trimester was really rough but the last few weeks have been smooth sailing (well besides the constant need to use the bathroom). I adore my OB/GYN, so far he has been very open and receptive to everything and super helpful and comforting to me. He says everything is looking good and the baby had a nice strong heartbeat. I am scheduled for an ultrasound on Dec. 6th so hopefully we will find out the sex (I am hoping for a girl, my fiance wants a boy...but I know I will be happy either way as long as it's healthy).
Well I will stop babbling. I hope everyone here is doing well and it is very nice to meet you all!!
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 2:23 pm
Ah see, the problem with us (Logan still has not been christened) is that Tommy is Catholic and I am Agnostic. He's abit upset with me cause I've yet to take Logan to get baptized on my own.
I don't really want Logan to be baptized/christened, but I did some thinking for myself. It means nothing to me nor is it a big deal, so I was/am willing to do it, if it makes Tommy feel better. I do know if you've been bapitzed/christened at all, the Catholics will not make you re-do. Some protestant sects, such as Baptists, do not recognize this. My husband converted to Catholicism and had the choice to be rebaptized but he didn't want to insult his father (since his father was the one who did the baptismal), so they said that was fine.
Eventually it's going to come up, but I wouldn't try to stress about it. If you are interested in just doing it to keep them off of your back, I highly suggest going and talked to an army chaplin. They are the nicest and most understanding people and won't stick to some of the harder pressed rules when it comes to baptisms.
Of course, if it bothers you that much to do that, tell them what they want to hear works well. That you guys just don't have time to attend church regularly due to the military and his job. Which for us is very true because Tommy rarely gets to go. It's a hard situation, I hope it gets worked out. It's one thing to work on a compromise with your spouse, but when the families get involved and in your face on how you should raise your kid is when it gets messy unfortunately.
Unless he's willing to tell them he's not going to raise his child in the Catholic faith, skirting the issue and doing the things Loki suggested would help, but if you eventually plan on moving back home, those might just be a temporary fix for now. Although I would think once they see the beautiful baby, that won't be on their minds! If it is, just change the subject or be like "Oh what did you do?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 5:17 pm
We have a new mommy-to-be in here! -waves- Sounds like we'll be giving prenatal updates about the same time then. whee We always seem to get babies in waves in here.
Yeah, it's more a toughie for him, but some of you know what a rough start we all got off to in the first place, and I don't want to have any more issues come up and cause more issues. At the same time, I don't want to do something I don't really believe in just because I don't want to face an unpleasant issue. We're going to have to talk a lot more I think...but he's avoiding the issue in general right now. razz I'll have to be a pain a pry then. LOL.
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 7:29 pm
Well, I started taking different vitamins with iron in them. Found out my other ones had little to no Iron. I don't know if that's normal for them to have so little iron, but my doctor was happy and willing to make the switch.
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 6:36 am
Generally prenatals are exceptionally high in iron, because you nearly double your blood volume during your pregnancy and can become anemic at the drop of a hat even if you aren't already.
There are low iron varieties for people who get ill in reaction to them. Or sometimes Doctors will perscribe like 4 children's vitamins over the course of a day, to get the same iron but not all in one mega-dose.
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 8:34 am
They probably just put me on the wrong ones at first. People make mistakes.
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 2:40 pm
Ugh...Sciatica my old nemesis...you have returned...
Hello Tylenol.
Let's just say I'm glad I'm at 34 weeks. After the last pregnancy the sciatica just went away, it is a symptom of my SPD after all. YAY! stare
Also, I'd be as bold as to say I'm not as LIKELY to get sick in the morning anymore. That's a nice step up. Not that I don't still get sick, but I can go a week. And generally food can fix it now...what do you know it only took 34 weeks to get my "morning sickness" under control. xd
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 2:52 pm
Hehe, Poor you, Nopen. Glad it's getting better though, at least that's a step forward.
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Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 6:12 am
BrokenWing They probably just put me on the wrong ones at first. People make mistakes.
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Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 2:06 pm
Wow! You're getting close to the end, Nopen. Does it seem close or does it seem like forever away right now?
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