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 Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:02 pm
I've lost my step-mom to abortion.
Not because.. she WAS an abortion. My sister and aunt both had abortions and frankly, those fetuses weren't anything besides something that *could* have been. Alas, it is not, so that's neither here or there to me really.
My step-mom and the way she's treated me through me getting pregnant and having an abortion showed me she has absolutely no respect for me as an adult who makes adult decisions. She treated me terribly-- and it hurt a lot because I loved and trusted her, and sticked with her, even after her and my dad broke up. I still called her mom, I flew her out to the East Coast for a vacation and to visit me.. and in return when I needed her love and support she chastised me, yelled at me, freaked me out and continues to wail on about what I've done and that I was sooo stupid to get pregnant in the first place.
Of course, she's never been pregnant, had kids, or been faced with my situation. But that doesn't matter to her.
The gruffness people have when they treat women who get pregnant and women who have abortions is what kills things. It's what kills relationships, friendships, it's what kills your trust and belief that these people actually care about you.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:28 pm
PhaedraMcSpiffy In order to lose something, doesn't it have to exist in the first place? caffinated_tulip to my knowledge i've never lost a relative or anything along those lines to abortion but ive lost many friends. A dear friend of mine was very prolife. I accepted this and really just let it be. It was never a problem for us. Until she got pregnant. I tried to let her know that abortion was an option, explain things to her. I really didnt pressure her into having one at all, but she believed all of the fundy bullshit and immediatly decided that i was a homicidal maniac bent on killing her unborn child. She's just turned 18 btw, and she's in school still. The father is no where to be found and she thinks adoption is just as bad as abortion. Ontop of all this she's an idiot (not that everyone in her position is an idiot, just that she is, completly). She told all of our mutual friends who were fundies (why a pack of fundies wanted to hang out with me, the uber pagan ill never know) and theyve all decided to shun me. And started rumors among the girls we know that Í was trying to force her to have an abortion. So, yeah, ive lost people to abortion. Or rather to the pro-life fundy idea of abortion. Okay, now that makes me sad. That's why I could never be real friends with anyone "pro-life." Shallow aquaintances, maybe. But I couldn't trust anyone who didn't respect my right to control my own body. That's just horrible that they would ostracize you like that... I've had it happen to me, but they never spread rumors that horrible. Personally, I would see it as their loss and move on. If they ******** with you then deal with it one situation at a time and when confronted, defend yourself. I have found that most of my "pro-life" friends have no idea what they are talking about. I actually only know of how some of my friends feel about abortion, as I avoid the discussion unless with certain people. One friend's view is (paraphrased):
"I would give it a chance. It is alive and I couldn't imagine getting an abortion"How I see her point of view:
She has this idea that a fetus is like a little bunny rabbit "oh it is so cute! How could you kill it?" but if that rabbit was biting her a** she would be screaming "WHAT THE F**K?!?! GET IT OFF OF ME!!! GET IT OFF!!!"
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:33 pm
I don't think that anyone in my family has had an abortion. If they have I don't think they would go around telling people about it.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:56 pm
My mom had an abortion, some time after me and before my brother. I don't blame her at all. We were very poor and the father was an alcholic and abusive man to both me and my mom. I'm glad she had the strength to do what was best for her and her family.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 11:56 pm
AngieAki PhaedraMcSpiffy In order to lose something, doesn't it have to exist in the first place? caffinated_tulip shortened for the sake of quote length (on pg 1). Okay, now that makes me sad. That's why I could never be real friends with anyone "pro-life." Shallow aquaintances, maybe. But I couldn't trust anyone who didn't respect my right to control my own body. That's just horrible that they would ostracize you like that... I've had it happen to me, but they never spread rumors that horrible. Personally, I would see it as their loss and move on. If they ******** with you then deal with it one situation at a time and when confronted, defend yourself. I have found that most of my "pro-life" friends have no idea what they are talking about. I actually only know of how some of my friends feel about abortion, as I avoid the discussion unless with certain people. (shortened for post length) Yeah, I mostly have washed my hands of them. We're in the same sorority (non-alcoholic community service based) so i have to deal with her. she keeps trying to be friendly and insist that she wasnt the one who pulled all that crap, even though ive heard her doing it...she's an idiot. I really dont think i'll ever be good friends with some one whos prolife again, or at least never with some one who's a royal twit.
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:35 am
I "lost" a potential kid to an abortion. If I hadn't, I'd be six months pregnant by now with no place to go and no way to continue my second year of university. My placement in school would be yanked, as well as my scholarships.
But then again, my Nuva Ring prevents fertilized eggs from implanting so somewhere in all those past periods and used pads, THERE COULD BE BABIES OMGZ. After all, the antis love to preach "life starts at conception."
In retrospect, my mother lost three of her older siblings to childbirth. My grandmother nearly lost her life.
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Tragic Christmas Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 9:22 am
Let's see...I 'lost' a half-sibling from my mother's first marriage and a niece/nephew from my sister's first marriage.
In my mother's case, she was in an abusive marriage and found out she was pregnant when she was getting ready to leave him. She thought it over and decided that she had to get rid of the pregnancy because if she didn't, she might not be able to leave him. She also didn't want anything to permanently tie her to him, which a child certainly would.
So she aborted, left him and moved several states away to start over. She met my dad through her job at the library, married him and went on to have five kids (including me.) Ta-da!
As for my sister, she found out she was pregnant during her service in the Air Force, and decided that she and her then-husband weren't ready to handle the added responsibility of having a child to raise, seeing as both of them were on active duty. And although she didn't say it at the time, her marriage wasn't going well and she knew that a baby would make it worse, not better.
Now she's remarried to my awesome brother-in-law, has left the Air Force, is going to college on the GI Bill and has one of the most adorable little boys I've ever seen.
So stick that in your pipes and smoke it, pro-lifers!
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:02 am
I've "lost" a aunt/uncle to abortion. My grandmother got pregnant a long while back. She already has given birth to five full grown children (including my mother) in her lifetime. She is very frail and was older and could not safely deliver a child, so she had an abortion.
While it wasn't an abortion, I've "lost" a sibling to a miscarrage a few months before I was born. However, I would not have been born if not for that miscarrage.
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 4:49 pm
I've "lost" 1-3 siblings, I think. My mom was never very clear about how many abortions she's had, but I know it's at least one. She was thinking of aborting another, but let it live because she could "hear the heartbeat" (at the doctor's). Kind of a lame reason if you ask me, but that's my little sister now, and I love her. <3
I have three siblings... I couldn't imagine having more of us around. It would just be too much.
I think some of my aunts have had abortions, but this isn't something that's really talked about in my family. I have over a dozen cousins anyway.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:51 pm
I lost a niece/nephew. My cousin had one a few weeks ago. It was for the best. She and her hubby just don't want a kid.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 3:37 pm
i've "lost" a potential kid. it kinda freaks me out to think that my whole life was in the hands of a judge at one point in time. had he been anti-choice, or if i had an appointment with an anti-choice judge, i'd probably have a kid right now. either that or i would have killed myself in the later months of pregnancy or died from an illegal abortion. yay parental consent laws!
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 5:57 pm
Parental consent laws are state-santioned child endangerment.
I'm so sorry they did that to you.
I'm just glad we don't have them in California, although we have had two VERY close calls.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 5:59 pm
AngieAki PhaedraMcSpiffy In order to lose something, doesn't it have to exist in the first place? caffinated_tulip to my knowledge i've never lost a relative or anything along those lines to abortion but ive lost many friends. A dear friend of mine was very prolife. I accepted this and really just let it be. It was never a problem for us. Until she got pregnant. I tried to let her know that abortion was an option, explain things to her. I really didnt pressure her into having one at all, but she believed all of the fundy bullshit and immediatly decided that i was a homicidal maniac bent on killing her unborn child. She's just turned 18 btw, and she's in school still. The father is no where to be found and she thinks adoption is just as bad as abortion. Ontop of all this she's an idiot (not that everyone in her position is an idiot, just that she is, completly). She told all of our mutual friends who were fundies (why a pack of fundies wanted to hang out with me, the uber pagan ill never know) and theyve all decided to shun me. And started rumors among the girls we know that Í was trying to force her to have an abortion. So, yeah, ive lost people to abortion. Or rather to the pro-life fundy idea of abortion. Okay, now that makes me sad. That's why I could never be real friends with anyone "pro-life." Shallow aquaintances, maybe. But I couldn't trust anyone who didn't respect my right to control my own body. That's just horrible that they would ostracize you like that... I've had it happen to me, but they never spread rumors that horrible. Personally, I would see it as their loss and move on. If they ******** with you then deal with it one situation at a time and when confronted, defend yourself. I have found that most of my "pro-life" friends have no idea what they are talking about. I actually only know of how some of my friends feel about abortion, as I avoid the discussion unless with certain people. One friend's view is (paraphrased):
"I would give it a chance. It is alive and I couldn't imagine getting an abortion"How I see her point of view:
She has this idea that a fetus is like a little bunny rabbit "oh it is so cute! How could you kill it?" but if that rabbit was biting her a** she would be screaming "WHAT THE F**K?!?! GET IT OFF OF ME!!! GET IT OFF!!!"Hmm... they often do tend to have no idea what they're talking about. One girl I debated against told me she switched sides after the debate. I guess it's not entirely hopless, but I'd still never be able to be really close to an antichoice person.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 9:20 pm
I lost an older sibling. However I rejoice in his/her death. My parents wanted exactly 2 children. I would have been the third. That abortion is the reason I am alive and not aborted. YAY!
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:22 am
PhaedraMcSpiffy Parental consent laws are state-santioned child endangerment. I'm so sorry they did that to you. I'm just glad we don't have them in California, although we have had two VERY close calls. We don't have them in Oregon either! Yay!
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