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| This topic help or open your eyes at all? |
| o.o; Yeah... |
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[ 9 ] |
| Kinda, but kinda not... |
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| I think it only created more questions for me |
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| Nope. Not at all. |
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| Total Votes : 16 |
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 Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:42 am
meh...Being raped sucks, and I hope I never have to go through it again. More than that, I hope no one that I know ever has to go through it.
It occurs in my neighborhood far too often for my comfort, and for a while, I refused to go anywhere alone. Then, I just started carrying a hunting knife that my dad gave me when I turned sixteen.
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Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:21 pm
Oni-Angel So, bottom line, to all you men out there, add yourself to the list of guys who would never rape and who see rapists as lower than dirt. I know that our fellow IPG members would never stoop so low and defile a woman....after all, what's the fun in that? Sex is the best when shared, not stolen. I've never had any respect for a person who can't listen to someone who clearly doesn't want sex with them, let alone for a person who deliberately goes through with it. My parents were kind of old-timey in their values, but you know the morals they taught were more like common sense then anything else, and nowadays no one seems to have them anymore. Quite sad. I've had a girl friend who had been raped by her step-father, and it had scarred her for a long time after the incident...and the fact that her mother believe him over her own daughter worsened this (she ended up being taken in by the state and sent to foster parents who weren't much better...). People are just sick now.
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 10:02 am
I'm pretty lucky - I've never had anything like that happen to me, even though that stuff always happens all around my school. There has been everything from mugging to murder around my school (and a lot of gang activity...), and I've managed to avoid all of it. It's probably partly because I'm usually with people when I'm first coming to/leaving from school, but whatever the case, I'm not complaining. Plus, the area's a bit police infested sometimes.
But I would also like to point out that keys can also be a somewhat decent weapon if you're attacked. Another reason to have them out before hand. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 12:54 pm
Actually it's kinda scary for me; I found out last night, talking to other guys while my clothes washed, that my new town has the highest rape/homosexual rape (is that the term?) numbers in America. o.O
Of course, that's just hearsay... And they could just be messing with the Freshman's head... But still... I'd thought that I'd be safe as a male, in a super-Christian state.
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 5:03 pm
Thanks to Dragon Ladysupreme for bringing up a very important topic! This is something that is not discussed openly enough it seems. I am 30 years old, and have been raped three times. While it feels good to read stories and to know you are not alone, not being alone breaks your heart more than most can know. One in three women in the United States will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. One out of three. While good advice has been given, I think some more may be warranted. Since my experiences, I have become volunteer rape counselor/runner. A runner is someone on call who goes to emergency rooms and court rooms to be with victims as soon as possible. Here is a little advice I can offer.
Getting into your car quickly, not fumbling around was mentioned earlier. What also needs to be said is, BEFORE you get into your car, check the back seat, esp. if you left your car unlocked to begin with. Sounds a bit silly, but getting in and locking the doors does no good if you are not alone when you lock those doors. Fighting back was also mentioned. While fighting back can help the majority of the time, it's not always the best thing. In some situations, you should fight like hell. But if your attacker is armed, esp. with a gun, fighting back may cost you your life. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you when you need to make this decision. It is different in every circumstance, and must be judged at the moment, as hard as it may be.
Keeping mace/pepper spray on you is also a good idea. There are key chains you can buy that come attached with that. A pocketknife is also not a bad idea. I can't however advise people to walk around with concealed weapons, as much as I may want to at times. There are also safety whistles that can be bought, kept on key chains and in purses that are effective. Calling loud attention to yourself as soon as possible is always a good idea. Yelling 'fire' believe it or not, can be more effective than just yelling 'help'. As sad as it sounds, it's the truth.
Also, what you are wearing has nothing to do with whether you are raped, or excuses it, of course. It doesn't matter if you are laying naked spread eagle on the ground, NO means NO. There are certain situations that you should just use common sense with though. The previous advice given is good. Just use your brain. Getting wasted around a bunch of strangers, without someone you know and trust to watch your back, is never a good idea. My extra advice is, if out in public, at a bar, party, whatever, never take an open drink from a guy you don't know. And even be weary of taking one from someone you do or think you know. The use of things like GHB seems to be getting more popular all the time.
My final advice is, if possible, do everything you can to prevent being taken anywhere. Chances are, if someone is trying to transport you to somewhere else, the chances of your survival diminish significantly. You may lose your life, not just your dignity. This is a case where you should fight like hell, regardless. If someone removes you from the scene, the chances of you being found highly decrease. I'm sure I could offer lots more, but I don't want to take up two pages here. Again, if anyone has any questions, needs advice or help, please feel free to PM me. I would also be willing to do a sticky to answer questions, offer advice on this subject if the Mod's are interested. Hope I helped!
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 6:43 pm
Raped three times? Wow. That's bad. Poor Annan. *hugs*
Anyways, I learned today how to break someone's nose by headbutting thwm. Not that I actually did break anyone's nose, but I learned how to.
And also, everyone, remember that kicking someone right under the kneecap can give you a few moments.
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 9:58 pm
...My younger sister had a friend for a while last year. Her friend was odd, but considering the things I do to pass time and the sort of people I pal around with, it didn't seem too bad. Well, turn out the friend was a real sickie.
My sister went to stay the weekend with her friend and got a back ache. Fairly common, right? Well, the friend's mother gave her some meds ( some kind of muscle relaxers). My sister doesn't have much of a tolerance and passed out. The friend called some male friends over and they proceeded to gangrape her. I don't know all the details... But she woke up alone and naked. My sister just turned 14 this year. Those guys were my age. It makes me feel like a failure as an elder brother, the archetypal defender. I couldn't stop it.
You don't really know betrayal until it comes from a good friend. I palled around the girl with my sister.
We tried to go legal, get the cops involved. But those bastards got their story together before we could get the cops in. Cops were no help. I swear I'm going to get my retribution some day.
Rapists are the lowest of the low and need to be lynched...
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Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 3:36 pm
I just read "the World According to Garp," by John Irving and in it, there was a very well written expose about rape.
I feel that not only should one be able to torture and kill rapists, but that there should be a round of respectful applause for the survivors of rape attacks. Both men and women can be raped, and it takes a strong person to make it through such a traumatic experience, let alone living a normal life.
Personally, I think that I exude a pretty "scary" aura around myself, and I know that M0rgan, even when someone is play attacking me, gets very protective.
I wish that I had a knock out dart gun for every guy who whistles at me or looks at me like meat. I wish that I could see all rapists, track them by their s**t stench, and destroy them.
Unfortunately, rape is not going to stop, but we can do so many things to make sure it is PREVENTED, and fight our hardest to keep ourselves sane.
*huggles* to the survivors. You are stronger than many others could ever be.
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 7:16 pm
I've had far too many encounters that could have ended far worse than they did. This is easily the scariest:
I was out one friday night watching my friend fire twirl (not drinking, just sitting on some stairs nearish where all the clubs were.)
A guy came up, tall, darkish, really not a bad looking guy & started chatting to me. He told me his name was John & he kissed my hand when he introduced himself to me. He asked me out & I said yes because he seemed like a nice enough guy... although I felt that something just wasn't right...
For the date, we met up near where we'd met (at lunchtime, I'm not as dumb as I look) &... he'd brought a friend.
He said he knew a really great Chinese resteraunt a few suburbs away (I knew the one he meant, if he'd wanted to meet there, he should've said so, I could've gotten there easily) & he suggested we drive there... in his van. stare
He must've thought I was really stupid or something.
Of course I said no & we went to KFC instead. He kept saying I should've brought a friend for his friend (well, if he had told me he was planning on bringing a friend...) so I ended up calling one of my friends basically saying I REALLY wanted someone to be here but she couldn't come.
Afterwards he kept trying to kiss me & I kept pulling away & he just kept trying so I thought if I gave him one kiss he'd leave me alone... no, then he thought I was interested & tried to kiss me again... I then said I needed to go home because I was going to be late & my mum would worry (I was about 17/18 at this time) & he offered me a lift...
Uhh... no.
I said that I'd rather walk, he offered again & by this time, the alarm bells that had been ringing ever since he'd rocked up with a friend were now screaming so loud I thought my ears would explode. I politely said no, again, broke away from him & RAN as fast as I could untill I was out of sight & even then I didn't really slow down until I got home.
I think he got the message because he never tried to contact me after that.
*phew* sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 8:38 am
Oy! I'm planning to buy my sisters weapons for that now. O_O
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:19 am
eek I'm really scared now.
I guess I've never been exposed to this stuff, going to an all girls school and not knowing that many guys...
The stupidest thing I've ever done was invite a boy I met over the internet to my house on a Monday when I was skipping school (both my parents work so I was alone) and I'd never met that boy in person before. But I'm really lucky that the boy involved wasn't like that...I'd never do it again though.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 8:35 am
Bonbonquark eek I'm really scared now. I guess I've never been exposed to this stuff, going to an all girls school and not knowing that many guys... The stupidest thing I've ever done was invite a boy I met over the internet to my house on a Monday when I was skipping school (both my parents work so I was alone) and I'd never met that boy in person before. But I'm really lucky that the boy involved wasn't like that...I'd never do it again though. Damn straight you aren't. heart I'm still glad you did it for me though.
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Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:37 pm
I.Am Actually it's kinda scary for me; I found out last night, talking to other guys while my clothes washed, that my new town has the highest rape/homosexual rape (is that the term?) numbers in America. o.O Of course, that's just hearsay... And they could just be messing with the Freshman's head... But still... I'd thought that I'd be safe as a male, in a super-Christian state. Remember, though, it tells you something about the politics of the area. NEVER assume that because the rates are higher than anywhere else that there are more rapes going on. Data only comes from what is reported, not the masses of people who remain silent. Most of the time, it merely means that the community itself is more outspoken and supporting of victims that speak up. I am pretty sure that most areas where you don't get too many rape reports are also areas that are more closeminded about women (or men) speaking up about rape. I guess in a lot of places, they believe that the woman "deserved" it if she gets raped, and the man "can't get raped, he must have wanted it." It's sick and disgusting.
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Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 12:36 am
I was asked to put this in the thread, by someone whom had PMed me about the subject: Unspoken_Desire I think what you are doing is a wonderful idea, love. People need to know about this, and it needs to be more publicized. Statistics show that more teenagers in America are raped each year then the number of teens with braces. I saw your thread in the Literate RP Guild, and read the original. I was going to post a reply in that thread, but as I am not a member, could not do so. So, I would like to tell you my story. Would you please put it in that thread for me? I would like my story to be heard, but do not want to join that guild that hosts it. Most of the time, sex crimes are committed by somebody the victim knows... and sadly, a lot of the time it is a person the victim loves and trusts. This was my case. My mother re-married when I was 8 years old to a man who already had a son two years older then me. For the first few years, my new step-brother and I had a pretty rocky relationship. We were envious of each other and he tormented me (as all older brothers do) When we got older, we became great friends. We hung out with the same people, and did the same activities. Many nights we would stay up late in my room just talking. When I was in 7th grade, he stopped coming in to just talk. I had trusted him so much with a lot of my deepest darkest secrets, and he used those things to blackmail me. He convinced me that I was fat, ugly and worthless. He even went as far as telling me this: "No person will ever love you, Erin. You are fat and ugly, and all anybody will do is use you. That's all you're good for." For months he used me for various things- forcing me to him. One of my step-brother's friends joined it, however separately. The other boy had been my classmate for 4 years. I also trusted him very much. He came over to my house in the summer of 8th grade and pinned me to a wall, forcing sloppy kisses on me. He tried to put his hands up my shirt and down my pants, so I kicked him in the shin. He kicked me back and wile I was down, took the opportunity to pin me on the ground beneath his weight. He put his hands down my shirt and fondled me. Once he was finished, I ran into my house and called my boyfriend to break up with him. I felt like I didn't deserve him, because he was so good to me. These two incidences literally destroyed me. I was already self conscious for being teased about my looks all my life, then my trusted step-brother and friend took advantage of that weakness... In 8th grade, I told my parents, but they were quick to dismiss it. They did not want to admit the horrors that went on right under them. So I vowed I would not speak to them about what was going on to them again. Fortunately for me, my step-brother moved to his mother's house shortly after, and his friend no longer had an excuse to come over. Though they were gone, my destructive pattern had already begun. After that, I found myself in many abusive relationships. Manny guys I dated hit me, and one forced me to go further sexually then I wanted to. Two cheated on me because I would not be sexual with them and many broke up with me for that same reason (just as my step-brother predicted). This destructive pattern lasted until midway through sophomore year. I decided that I could not let these happenings imprison me. I told myself I would not let it bother me anymore. It took a lot of will power to get over all of the pain the last 3 1/2 years held. But I became a stronger person because of it. Now, i speak my mind openly and honestly. When I do not like something, I let it be known. I do not let people talk down to me or hurt me in any way, because I have self worth now. I am a confident person, and am now able to have a healthy love life as well as a healthy sex life (something victims of sexual abuse rarely go back to) Many of you have been in horrible situations- believe me, it is not as uncommon as you might think. But you cannot let it hold you as it's prisoner. No matter what has happened, you can be strong again. You can recover fully- though most people cannot have a normal sex life. Do not let one incident become a destructive pattern. You are worth better then you got, and when you believe that, you will find it. I will always be around if anybody wants to talk. I did not mention a lot of things, but I am sure we have had similar situations. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or comments, or if you just want to talk about it- one victim to another. It helps to know you are not alone in this. Unspoken_Desire~
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Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:15 am
Hrm, my first post.
A bit of background: I speak as someone who has been both assaulted and raped, and as someone who's taken a bit of time to read up on the relevant statistics.
A thank you to the OP for a well-written and important post. I know that for many people it is difficult even to discuss such things.
A few other things to keep in mind: 75% of rapes are committed by someone well-known to the victim. You're most likely to be raped by a father, brother, friend, boyfriend, or husband.
70% of rapes occur at home or someone else's home. You are more likely to be raped while sitting in your own home than while walking down the street.
Rapists do not care what you wear, how many people you do or don't have sex with, or any of that jazz. Clothes don't 'tell' people things, unless they have words on them.
99% of rapists are male. 90% of victims are female, 10% are male. Very few people give a s**t about the male victims because most of them are raped in prison. The average recidivism rate for a released rapist for the same crime is approximately 2.6%. Keep in mind, however, that only approximately 5% of rapes ever reach conviction. The US has one of the highest incidences of rape in the developed world--rape correllates strongly with overall rates of violent crime and poverty, in which the US is also exceptional. You are most likely to be raped between the ages of 15 and 30, but a decent number of infants and seniors are also raped.
And, finally, should you go abroad (or already be there), South Africa has the world's highest incidence of reported rapes--because of a myth that sex with a virgin will cure AIDS.
Good luck to you all, and take care.
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