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 Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 1:24 pm
Tea-Sama I heard a really, really awful joke yesterday. So I'll tell it. Don't blame me. So, this guy walks into a bar, and half of his head is an orange. He orders a drink. The bartender thinks it's kind of weird, but rings it up for him anyway. He pays with exact change. "Huh. That's kind of nice.. that you're paying with exact change, I mean," says the bartender. "Yeah," the guy answers, "I found this magic lamp and rubbed it and my first wish was to always have exact change for anything I bought." "Really..? Well, damn.. I mean.. that's a good idea. A lot of people would just wish for a million dollars and use it up." "Yeah.." "What else?" "Well, for my second wish, I asked for everyone to feel the same towards me as I felt towards them, you know? So.. if I love someone, they love me. If I don't like them, they just leave me alone.. and so on." "Wow! That's a great idea. Other people would just wish to be liked by everyone, and get swarmed with people..!" "Mhm." "So.. if I can ask, what's with your head?" "Well, for my third wish, I wished for half of my head to be an orange." Happy? :snort:
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 1:37 pm
I didn't come up with this one so don't look at me, ok. Also I may have the wording a bit wrong, blame my crappy memory for that. >_>
There are two men in a bar and one of them says to the other, "You know this bar is magical?".
The other man just looks at him and says, "You're joking, right?"
"Nope, you can fly here."
"Now I know you're joking."
"No really, follow me up to the roof and I'll prove it."
So they head up to the roof and the first man steps off the roof and floats there for a bit before slowly reaching the ground.
The second man, amazed by this, quickly runs and jumps off the side of the building and falls into the sidewalk, dead.
The first man walks back into the bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "Superman, some days you can be quite the a*****e."
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 2:05 pm
Rolf Eusis I didn't come up with this one so don't look at me, ok. Also I may have the wording a bit wrong, blame my crappy memory for that. >_>
There are two men in a bar and one of them says to the other, "You know this bar is magical?".
The other man just looks at him and says, "You're joking, right?"
"Nope, you can fly here."
"Now I know you're joking."
"No really, follow me up to the roof and I'll prove it."
So they head up to the roof and the first man steps off the roof and floats there for a bit before slowly reaching the ground.
The second man, amazed by this, quickly runs and jumps off the side of the building and falls into the sidewalk, dead.
The first man walks back into the bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "Superman, some days you can be quite the a*****e." Hahahahah!! I'm stealing both of them.. >.<;
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 3:12 pm
I heard this one just now.
Some people were at a gallery looking at a painting with three black men, all of whom where naked. However, the middle man had a pink p***s. The owner of the gallery started to explain how this painting represents the ways that the white people un fairly treated other ethnics and by focusing your atention on just the pink p***s, and not the whole image you are infact doing the same ect ect rather boring stuff. So anyway, after his long winded explanation, the owner leaves and people starts to think over the image when one man steps forward and says, "Bollocks. I'll tell you the true meaning of this image!" So the others ask him how, and why he would know when the gallery owner had already talked about it. The man claims he's the artists adn goes on to explain "You see, these three blokes actually work down the mines see, that's why there all black, from all the soot 'n' stuff. However, the man in the middle went home for lunch".
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 7:32 pm
You want to hear a real lame joke?
A guy walks into a bar, and says ow.
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 8:02 pm
Alright, there's three guys.. a black guy, a indian, and an idiot... All three are suspects for a crime and are taken into for questioning. They question the Black guy first, and find him guilty on 13 different offenses.. they send him off to jail.. then they bring in the indian.. and he's charged for 17 different offences.. they they bring in the idiot, and charge him nothing.. and set him free.. the officer that was questiong him says "We're sorry to disturb you, Mr. Bush.."
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 8:25 pm
Veras Gunn You want to hear a real lame joke?
A guy walks into a bar, and says ow. Two guys walk into a bar. Third one ducks. :rimshot:
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 3:43 pm
BGBW I heard this one just now. Some people were at a gallery looking at a painting with three black men, all of whom where naked. However, the middle man had a pink p***s. The owner of the gallery started to explain how this painting represents the ways that the white people un fairly treated other ethnics and by focusing your atention on just the pink p***s, and not the whole image you are infact doing the same ect ect rather boring stuff. So anyway, after his long winded explanation, the owner leaves and people starts to think over the image when one man steps forward and says, "Bollocks. I'll tell you the true meaning of this image!" So the others ask him how, and why he would know when the gallery owner had already talked about it. The man claims he's the artists adn goes on to explain "You see, these three blokes actually work down the mines see, that's why there all black, from all the soot 'n' stuff. However, the man in the middle went home for lunch". I think I read that in Maxim.. or somewhere..
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 3:48 pm
Tea-Sama I think I read that in Maxim.. or somewhere.. ...when were you reading Maxim?
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 9:09 am
Ember Darc Tea-Sama I think I read that in Maxim.. or somewhere.. ...when were you reading Maxim? My dad gets it. And I read it. There are actually some rather interesting articles.. like one about ventriloquism.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 9:27 am
Tea-Sama Ember Darc Tea-Sama I think I read that in Maxim.. or somewhere.. ...when were you reading Maxim? My dad gets it. And I read it. There are actually some rather interesting articles.. like one about ventriloquism. Yes.. the articles
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 1:55 pm
cmainer1001 Tea-Sama Ember Darc Tea-Sama I think I read that in Maxim.. or somewhere.. ...when were you reading Maxim? My dad gets it. And I read it. There are actually some rather interesting articles.. like one about ventriloquism. Yes.. the articlesI couldn't care less about the photo shoots. They're rarely interesting. If I wanted porn (which it isn't even..) or something, I'd just go online. XD And I don't anyway.
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:04 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:24 pm
Tea-Sama http://www.bash.org/?524806 It's not the least bit funny. That's why it's here.
*Eyes dart around the room, then backs out slowly*
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:39 pm
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