Welcome to Gaia! ::

Wow....lot of misconceptions about the religion, here. Wicca has many traditions (sects) which have different practices and beliefs.

No one can dictate what is in your mind and heart, and if you believe in these deities, they'll be aware of why you're unable to worship them the way you want to, at the moment. As has been said--nothing will keep you from praying or affirming your faith, you do not need tools to do that. It's difficult for a teenager to relax and accept such a restriction, of course...but in the long run, it's a far wiser course of action than making it a point to fight with parents over. You have to live with them for another three years, and they could make that much more difficult than it needs to be. Keep your mouth closed, and your heart open--essentially.

In the meantime, if you ever have time to yourself at a local public library, you'd be surprised what books they might have in their collection. Your school might even have books on mythology and comparative religion, if you hunt around. You can study many peripheral subjects when you have spare time--herbal medicine, for example. Even if you're not able to study magick or specifically Wiccan rituals, you will be able to continue learning things that relate to your chosen path.

Consider the whole thing to be a lesson in self-discipline, which will serve you very well in the future. There's an old saying in regards to magick: "To Know, To Will, To Dare, To Keep Silent". It means to study first, before you take up practice. Once you know, then it's time to exercise your will--with focus, and self-discipline. To dare refers to getting up and doing it...not putting something off, or slacking off on things. To keep silent means that once you've done it, don't talk about it. It's not necessary to tell others about these things, and in many cases it's very much best not to do so.

Your best course is not to mention your religious preference to your mother again--clearly she did not react well to it, and it frightened her. For her peace of mind, as well as yours, keeping silent may be your best policy. If your mother is truly faithful, as it seems, then due to her beliefs, your taking up a different religion puts your soul in mortal danger--any loving mother would do anything to rescue a child from danger. Do not blame her for this, but try to understand it from her viewpoint. You do not have to agree, but make the effort to see her side and to respect it.

If you want to try again to convince her to accept your faith, do so after you have moved out and established your independence, after you turn 18. You have an entire lifetime to practice your religion as you see fit...three years is not such a long time.

Don't have much to say beyond this.

Meditate, learn what you can when you can, don't bother putting into practice yet. You need to know what you do... otherwise it is the whole "running before walking" thing.

I will not argue the difference between Wicca/Non-wicca/Neopaganism... I'm old and set in my ways. ^_^ (I'm only 18, turning 19 in mid-August)

Repetition:
Meditate, learn what you can, when you can.

Your mother only wants what is best for you, so try to still whatever ill feelings you have.



LoBo:
Explain to your mother that the pentagram represents a person. The head and arms are extended up, towards the All-Mighty. The feet are on the ground, showing rejection of the complex illusions that we think of as reality. Then tell her that when you turn it upside-down, it is the person reaching to the Earth, rejecting the Holy Father.

I, for one, believe that a religion can only be changed by people who were part of said religion to begin with, rather than people who just took the name of a religion to sound cool. That'd be like me creating a cult of ancestor-worship and incest and calling it Islam.

If screwing your late great-grandmother actually works, and you can get a good community built around it, it's a religion. If your religion is roughly similar to Islam, it's Islam.

No... t-that's not true... that's imPOSSIBLE!!

You know what's funny?

Gardener was in the OTO. A good portion of his teachings, are just a spin off of Thelema. I had been reading something about the difference between"

"An ye harm none, do what ye will" and "Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" (hereafter shortened as "93" because I'm lazy).

The short version is that Gardener broke away, found a suitable god/goddess, and added a less serious/individual approach mingled with pacifism.

Evidence lying in the very simple "rede." "An ye harm none" being an obvious reference to doing know harm (Thelema says to just do what serves your Higher will best (if that involves violence... so be it)).

Now "Do what ye will" and 93 have one singular major difference. That difference being that "Wo what ye will" utilizes the plural, thus taking some of the weight off of the individual practitioner's shoulder. With 93 everything is on you... and the one word you dread most as a result, is failure (in a Thelemite's spell book, the word success can only be written in one place. The very end/last page, and only if it is true).


I do try to do my research...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo....