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"Let's play kick the baby!" said Kyle. Ike says, "No kick the baby!"

Mrs. Cartman: Eric, I just got a call from your friend Kyle's mother. She said that this show is naughty and might make you a potty-mouth.
Cartman: That's a load of crap. Kyle's mom is a ******** Jew!

That, or:

Cartman: I'm not the one walking around all day like Pippi Longstocking.
Stan: Well, at least my mom isn't on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.

So, you decided to make a completely useless post?

*facepalm*

"He's the luckiest kid in the world. If I could say shitballs to the principal, I'd be sooo happy,"
"If I could say asspussy to the counselor, I'd be sooo happy,"
"If I could say tittysprinkels on national television, I would be sooo happy,"
"If I could call Chris Hanson an a*****e licking dickfart to his face, I would be soo happy," - Craig


"BAYY-BAYYY" - Jonas Brothers


"I'd rather be a crying little p***y than a faggy goth kid," - Butters

Ok long post but I like all these quotes xD
Especially the first one!


Cartman - "When Hitler rose to power there were a lot of people who just stopped playing. You know who those people were? The French! Are you French, Clyde?"
Clyde - "No."
Cartman - "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, Clyde?"
Clyde - "All right all right, I'll do it!"


Cartman: NO KITTY BAD KITTY!!


Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.


Cartman: Mom--Kitty is being a d***o.
Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping with Mommy tonight.


Cartman: (Crying, stumbles into the kitchen, holding onto a doorframe for support) Moommmmm...
Mom: Yes, poonchkins?
Cartman sad between sniffles) Last night.. when.. Butters.. came to spend the night.. I wanted to take a picture of him.. you know..
for his mom to have.. and I tripped, and my mouth landed right on his p***s - and at that moment.. i thought of something really funny..
and kinda started to smile a little bit.. and kinda.. give a little thumbs up.. and thats when he took the pictureee....


Randy Marsh: [making a diagram of global warming damage] Everyone below this line needs to be evacuated. Everyone above this line is already dead. We're stuck here in the middle. These states might be okay, they're balmy. New York is gonna have huge tidal waves that affect this whole area.
[someone giggles]
Randy Marsh: What?
[looks at the board and realized his diagram looks like a p***s]
Randy Marsh: Oh, godammit! Godammit!


Mr. Garrison: Hey, I'm pregnant everybody! Now I can go down to the clinic and have an abortion!


Kyle: We need to go to Canada, as soon as possible.
City Wok Owner: [mock Chinese accent] Ooh, Canada, okay, that's pretty far. Gonna cost you a rot of money. Ret's see... How many people?
Kyle: Four.
City Wok Owner: Four people, Canada, cost a rot of money. Gonna be about 6,500 dorrar.
Kyle: How about 50 dorrar?
City Wok Owner: Fity dorrar? You fly to Canada cost you at-reast 3,000 dorrar.
Kyle: 55 dorra.
City Wok Owner: Hey, stop wasting my time with 55 dorrar. No way I take my plane to Canada for less than a thousand dorrar!
Kyle: Okay... Sixty dorrar.
City Wok Owner: Sixty two dorrar.
Kyle: Okay.
City Wok Owner: Okay, meet me Park County Air field, yellow sesnut, tail number 432-G.
[Hangs up phone]
City Wok Owner: Hee hee. Never try to barter with a Chinese man.


Cartman: It's Christmas. We officially missed it. It's Christmas Day and I'm in Canada.
Kyle: Yeah, but I got my brother back.
Cartman: Yeah, you got your brother back but I didn't get any presents. And what did I tell you, Kyle? I told you if we didn't make it back in time for Christmas I was gonna whoop your a**, didn't I? Now you're gonna get it, ********. That's it, you and me. Right now. We're having it out. Come on. Come on.
[Kyle slaps Cartman]
Cartman: WAAAAAAAH. WAAAAAAAAH. MOOOOOOM. MOOOOOOM.


Mr. Garrison: Well spank my a** and call me "Charlie", it looks like we have two A's.


Tweek: But what if I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?
Stan: Tweek, when has that ever happened, except for that one time?


Cartman: Kenny's family is so poor, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.


Satan: Saddam. But... I killed you.
Saddam Hussein: Well where was I supposed to go, Detroit?


Stan: Hey, he's still alive.
[yelling into hole]
Stan: Kyle. Are you OK?
Kyle: I think so. Is Cartman up there?
Cartman: I'm right here, Kyle.
Kyle: Cartman, you *beep*ing hunk of fat, rat *beep*ing hunk of pig *beep*ing a** fat.
Cartman: Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Say that to my *face*, p***y!


Kyle: Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
Eric Cartman

Maury, I am out of control. Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I waunt, biatch! Yeah, I have sex, and I don't use protection! It's my hot body; I'll do what I waunt! I don't go to school and I kill people! What-evah! I'll do what I waunt!
Eric Cartman

Stan: Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly.
Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.

Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.

same as u

Miss Cartman:Oh sorry Eric is still grounded for trying to eradicate the jews a couple of weeks ago.

"Doctor: Making breasts larger is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Making them smaller is…insane."

Towlie: "Y-you wanna get high?"